He didn’t come.
‘If you’re well enough,’ said Aldith one morning, when Ellena felt as if she would burst if she didn’t feel the sun on her skin for another day, ‘then your father would like to see you.’
Ellena’s heart skipped a beat. ‘I’m ready.’
She was going to tell her father that she refused to marry Borwyn, or anyone else her father might try and throw her way. While she’d lain in bed with nothing to do, and thousands of hours to think, she’d come to a decision to speak plainly with her father. He might be a master of games, but she refused to play any more. She wanted to use honesty and pragmatism from now on. She would never say the words that would bind her in marriage to a man she didn’t love.
She didn’t know what would happen after their meeting. But she wanted time to speak with Braedan before she brought up the issue of Castle Swein with her father once more. She had to hope that the man who’d carried her around on his shoulders when she was little wouldn’t be cruel enough to force her into marrying. He might try and manipulate her, but she knew she was strong enough to resist whatever he threw her way.
She’d survived much worse, after all.
Aldith arranged her hair in a neat braid and helped her to don a rich purple dress with a gold embroidered tunic over the top.
‘My lady?’ said Aldith, just as they were about to step outside her bedchamber.
‘Yes?’ said Ellena.
‘I hope I don’t speak out of place when I ask you not to be too harsh towards Sir Leofric.’
Ellena tilted her head to one side. ‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s my fault we were in the garden that day,’ said Aldith, looking guiltily towards the floor. ‘I wanted you to see Sir Leofric’s sister, so you would know what it is that motivates Sir Leofric. I thought you might look more kindly on him and not judge him so harshly.’
Ellena tapped her foot against the floor. ‘I don’t judge him harshly, Aldith. I was only cross that he’d lied to me. He had plenty of opportunity to tell me about my father’s plan but he didn’t mention it once.’
The familiar tug of anger she’d thought long since disappeared stirred inside her.
‘We all make mistakes, my lady,’ said Aldith softly. ‘I’ve made more than others and yet you’ve managed to forgive me.’
‘That’s different,’ said Ellena gruffly. ‘You were merely guilty of being a bit sullen. Braedan lied to me. I do forgive him, but I can’t forget it.’
Aldith’s skin burned red under Ellena’s scrutiny. ‘Everyone knows how he feels about you, my lady. It would be foolish to turn away from love that strong.’
Aldith turned away from her mistress.
Ellena was rendered speechless. Love? No one had mentioned love to her.
She touched her hand to her heart. Was the strange feeling that fluttered there when she thought of Braedan love? She knew she had many complicated feelings for him. Anger, frustration, longing and an all-encompassing desire all warred within her. But did she love him? Could she imagine a life with him?
Her heart skittered. What about a life without him?
Her chest tightened, but before she could get her thoughts in order a guard arrived to escort them to her father.
Her mind whirled as thoughts and images tumbled through her brain. Braedan keeping her warm when she thought she would die from the cold... Braedan blinking like an owl whenever he woke... The way he’d always insisted she take the bed... The way he’d kissed her... The look on his face when she told him she wouldn’t marry him...
She stumbled and Aldith caught her arm, throwing her a look of concern. She shook her head and Aldith gave her a small smile before dropping away. They carried on through the twisting corridors of the castle as Ellena’s stomach whirled.
People bowed respectfully towards her as she passed, but unusually nobody stopped to speak with her, and she began to feel a tightening of her breath.
Did people believe she had been violated by Copsi while in his power? Had she fallen from grace? Or were people gossiping about her and Braedan?
It was impossible to tell.
They paused outside her father’s private room. ‘You may take some time off, Aldith,’ said Ellena. ‘I will be here awhile.’
‘Very well, my lady. Send a guard when you want me to return.’
Ellena nodded and stepped into the room, relief seeping through her as she moved away from prying eyes.
Her relief was short-lived.
Her father was standing behind his large desk, the book she used for recording housekeeping at Swein Castle open in front of him.
‘How did you get that?’ she asked, without bothering with a greeting.
‘I asked for it to be sent to me. I thought you could talk Sir Leofric through it before he takes over the stewardship.’
The scuff of a boot drew her attention to the fact that they were not alone in the room.
All her senses flared to life when she turned to see Braedan glaring at her father. A look of contempt crossed his hardened features.
Her heart raced and her legs itched to cross over to him, so she could burrow her face into his strong chest. She fancied she could smell his unique woodsy scent from where she stood.
He didn’t turn to her.
‘I thought,’ continued her father, ‘that now you are well you could talk him through the figures you’ve recorded.’
Ellena wanted to stamp her feet. Her father kept wrong-footing her. She’d been expecting to talk about Borwyn. She knew what she was going to say about that. But this... This was an unexpected blow which left her feeling winded.
She opened her mouth to say something.
‘No.’
She snapped her mouth shut. That word hadn’t come from her.
‘What’s that, Sir Leofric?’ said Ogmore.
‘I said, no. This is wrong.’
‘What’s wrong?’ asked her father, one eyebrow raised.
Ellena’s heart began to beat wildly.
Braedan kept his gaze locked on her father.
‘This.’ Braedan gestured to the book on Ogmore’s desk. ‘Taking Castle Swein away from Lady Swein is wrong. She is more than capable of running the place. She has done for years. One glance at those records will be enough to reassure you on that front. When I visited I could see how smoothly everything operates there and how prosperous the estate is. She will provide you with excellent stewardship.’
‘And the fact that she is a woman...?’
‘Merrick wishes to marry Ellena’s maid. I suggest he becomes head guard at Swein. He’s ideal for the job. Not only is he a fully trained knight, he is also excellent at training young men to become guards. Ellena will be fully protected and she need not marry for protection. You’d be a fool to take Swein away from her.’
‘And what of yourself?’
‘I no longer want the stewardship of Castle Swein,’ said Braedan, his eyes hard, his posture resolute.
For a long moment her father held his gaze and then he nodded. ‘Very well—then you are dismissed. Return to your normal duties.’
Braedan nodded and swept from the room, closing the door behind him. Not once did he look in Ellena’s direction.
Ellena’s father sank slowly into his chair. ‘Well?’ he asked.
‘Well, what?’ croaked Ellena.
She couldn’t believe that Braedan had done that for her. Sacrificed his freedom and the restoration of his family’s good name all for her.
‘Aren’t you going to chase after him?’
‘Wh...?’
Ellena’s head whipped towards the door and then back to her father.
‘Isn’t that what young lovers do?’ asked Ogmore, his forefinger tapping against the top of Ellena’s record book.
‘We’re not...’
&
nbsp; Her father raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you telling me that Braedan has just given up everything he’s been working towards for years because you happen to be good at running a castle?’ He held up one finger. ‘And before you argue, I know you are. I’ve read your accounts.’
‘Oh...’ said Ellena, the wind completely taken out of her sails.
‘Ellena,’ said the Earl, leaning his elbows against the desk. ‘A man only gives up his life’s dream for the woman he loves.’
‘I...’
‘For a woman who likes to argue, you’re not saying very much,’ he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
‘I don’t...’
Ogmore stood and came to stand in front of her.
‘I owe you an apology,’ he said, taking her hands in his. ‘Actually, the truth is I owe you several. I didn’t realise what manner of a man Swein was until it was too late. After his death I invited you home so that you could meet Braedan. He’s a strong, principled man, and I knew he would take care of you in the way you deserved, but you kept thwarting me. In the end I realised you were stubborn—a trait you must have inherited from your mother.’
Ellena harrumphed and her father smiled softly. There was a look on his face she hadn’t seen for years.
‘Well, perhaps I can be a bit stubborn sometimes too... Maybe that trait does come from me. The point is I sent Braedan to you, hoping you would see what a good match you would make together.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Your mother always tells me not to meddle so much with our children’s lives. It’s advice I should take more often. My biggest regret—the one I cannot forgive myself for—is not having Copsi drummed out of town as soon as I knew he was there. I can never apologise enough to you for what you went through—all because I didn’t listen to your mother or to Braedan.’
Ellena was shocked to see the glimmer of water in her father’s eyes. She had never seen him express remorse or show distress before.
He blinked and the moisture was gone.
‘Why didn’t you send Copsi away?’ she asked.
‘Because sometimes even I make mistakes.’
Ellena laughed, despite herself.
‘I didn’t send him away for two reasons. Firstly, his interest in you seemed to send Braedan a little crazy with protectiveness. I hoped it would push him over the edge and force him into asking you to marry him.’
Ellena flushed.
‘Ah, I see...’ said her father. ‘But I have to confess that wasn’t my only reason. The main one—and for this I will always feel guilty—was that I wanted to catch Copsi trying to take you. I hoped he would hang for his crime. I knew that Braedan was having you watched constantly, so I didn’t worry enough about your security. It is entirely my fault that you were taken from here and subjected to that awful ordeal.’
Ellena looked down to where their hands were still clasped. His hands, once so sure and firm, were gnarled and weather-beaten.
She squeezed his fingers. ‘The ordeal was only for a short time, and I was unconscious for the most part. Braedan saved me before anything terrible happened.’
‘Ah, you are being kind to me, but you must allow me to wallow in my guilt for a while. Your mother tells me it will do me good. Now, on to the subject of Braedan... While I can see he’s fallen so deeply that he’s acting completely unlike himself, I’m not sure about you. Despite your sweet blushes whenever he is around, you have become better at hiding your feelings from me. I’m sure you’re pleased about that, but I am your father and that makes me sad.’
‘I... What about Borwyn?’ Ellena hedged, not willing to admit yet that she had any feelings for Braedan one way or another.
‘He’s a fine man, and if you tell me you’d rather marry him then I will happily accept that. Either man would make an excellent son-in-law.’
‘And if I don’t want to marry at all?’ asked Ellena softly.
‘I think that would be sad,’ said Ogmore. ‘You are a young woman with plenty of years ahead of you. I know that I am difficult, and a trial for your mother, and that my recent actions have made her wild with anger at me. But our years together have mainly been happy, and I know that having her by my side has helped me enormously through difficult times. I only want the same for you.’
‘Will you force me to remarry?’ Ellena persisted.
‘I doubt I could force you to do anything you don’t want to,’ said Ogmore, releasing her hands and returning to the other side of his desk. ‘Having said that, I do really think you should put Braedan out of his misery. I hear he is taking the pain of his unrequited love out on the new recruits, and they are all terrified of him.’
Ellena stood staring at her father, completely dumbstruck.
‘But please take your maid with you when you search for him. I don’t think your reputation can withstand another scandal.’
For several long moments she didn’t say anything. Then she turned away from him and ran out of the room.
Chapter Twenty-One
For once, Ogmore’s guards weren’t standing outside his room, guarding either side of the entrance. Ellena debated waiting for Aldith, but the thought of staying there even a heartbeat longer before looking for Braedan was too much to bear.
She hurried through the twisting corridors, her father’s words swirling around her head. Once again he had manipulated events, twisting everything to his satisfaction. But for the first time in a long time, she didn’t care. If Braedan did truly love her it would change everything.
She paused. Where would he be now?
She’d never seen him mingling with the other men of her father’s court—not for him, the constant bickering of internal politics. He was more likely to be training with his men, out in the elements.
She stepped out of the castle and ground to a halt.
A soft autumnal breeze brushed over her skin for the first time in days. The crisp fresh air hit her lungs and she tilted her head towards the golden sun.
In the distance a bevy of maids wrung out washing, talking animatedly among themselves. None of them were looking in her direction, so she scurried across the small courtyard and hid in the shadows, her heart racing wildly.
She slipped through an archway and peered round a corner. From her vantage point she could make out the width of the training grounds, but she couldn’t see Braedan’s tall body among those practising there.
The stables were empty apart from the stable boy, who looked at her wide-eyed and staring. She backed out quickly, before he could spot that she was alone. She darted into an alcove and waited for a group of giggling children to pass.
Of course Braedan could be in his bedchamber...
Should she try it? Did she dare?
She knew where it was. As head of her father’s guards he was afforded the luxury of his own room, away from the soldiers who shared their quarters.
If she was caught in his room, or anywhere near it, she knew the scandal would be enormous. Her newfound accord with her father would be broken only moments after it had begun.
She twisted her hands together.
She needed to see him before she lost her nerve.
Glancing around to check again that no one was looking at her, she stepped into the part of the keep that housed the guards. Moving quickly but cautiously, she darted down several corridors until she came to the room she knew to be his.
Without stopping to knock, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.
Braedan was stripped to the waist, his muscles bunched as he bent over an open chest. He looked up, his eyes widening when he saw who had barged unannounced into his bedchamber.
‘Ellena...’ he breathed, striding over to her and grabbing hold of her upper arm. ‘What are you doing here? Did anyone see you arrive? You’ll be ruined if you’re caught.’
Despite his angry words she saw the look in his e
yes and it gave her courage.
‘I needed to see you,’ she said simply.
‘And it couldn’t have waited until later? Talking to me in the solar in front of everyone wouldn’t be scandalous, whereas this could ruin you!’
His grip remained tight but he didn’t attempt to throw her out.
‘You don’t ever come to the solar. Besides, this is private.’
She reached up and touched his face, her fingers trembling against his skin. His beard tickled the palm of her hand and he turned into her touch, placing a gentle kiss against her skin.
Hope flared in her heart.
‘What is it that you wanted to see me about?’ he asked softly, all the anger seeping out of his stance at her touch.
‘I wanted to know why you changed your mind about Castle Swein.’
He sighed and let go of her arm, stepping away from her.
Her hand fell to her side. She immediately missed the warmth of his skin. She wanted to touch him again. But it would be better to hear his answer when desire wasn’t muddling her senses.
He rubbed his forehead. ‘When your father mentioned the stewardship I was thinking only of what it would mean to my family. Your thoughts and feelings didn’t matter to me. After we met, however...’ His gaze flickered up to meet hers and then moved away again. He took a deep breath. ‘Since then I’ve realised what the place means to you. It’s somewhere you can be yourself. It’s your home and you’ve worked hard to make it prosperous and safe. I can’t take that away from you.’
Ellena’s heart thudded in her chest. This was everything she wanted to hear—and yet it wasn’t enough. Was her father wrong? Was it only honour that drove Braedan?
‘You need to leave now,’ said Braedan, straightening his shoulders. ‘Be careful not to be seen.’
Despite his words he’d stepped closer to her, and now he delicately took her face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over her cheekbones. He gently pressed a soft kiss against her lips and then moved away from her once more.
The Warrior Knight and the Widow Page 22