Jenny taps my hand and I let my fists relax. Lacing her fingers with mine, she squeezes and those familiar hazel eyes search mine. “The trick is teaching a free bird the value of a home when all they can see is a cage.”
I’m staring at Jenny, trying to wrap my brain around the meaning behind her words.
“Mom?” Jessie’s voice calls out down the hallway. I’m still sitting in stunned silence when she comes into view. “What’s going on?”
Jenny leans back with a satisfied smile. “Nothing, darling. Just getting to know your love.”
Jessie’s eyes go wide and snap to mine. “Mom!” she screeches. “I told you—we just started dating. I thought Jared having a kid would buy the rest of us some time.”
“Is it a crime to want to see all my children happy?”
“Crime? No. Obnoxious and smothering? Yes.”
Jenny holds her hands up. “Just a friendly chat. Right, Devin?”
I nod, shifting my gaze between Jenny and Jessie, who’ve engaged in some kind of staring contest.
The front door swings wide open and in walks the original Allen, identical to Jessie’s brothers although somewhat more weathered.
“I’ve got the pickles,” he calls out in triumph.
Jenny jumps up off the couch and snatches the massive jar of pickles out of his hands. “Thank you, dear. Those will be perfect when we make sandwiches with the leftovers tomorrow.”
The man shakes his head. “But I thought—”
“This is Devin, Jessie’s new boyfriend,” Jenny interrupts him. “Devin, this is my husband, John.”
I stand and shake John’s hand. John and Jenny must have one hell of a sense of humor, naming all four kids with J names.
“Well, I better put these up.” Jenny scurries off back to the kitchen.
Jessie elbows her dad in the ribs. “Oooh, you don’t even know how close you came to disaster, do you?” she asks.
“Huh?” John is beyond confused.
“You almost let the secret ingredient to Mom’s famous mac and cheese slip in front of an outsider.” Jessie jerks her head to me.
“Oh, right. Oops.” The two share a chuckle. He kisses Jessie on the forehead. “How have you been, Birdie?”
“Good, thanks. How goes the great kitchen debate?”
Her father groans. “I’ll be honest, if I hear the word chartreuse one more time, I’m going to go mad. A man can only take so much.”
“Fight the good fight, Dad.”
The whole family has an easy familiarity. There’s a constant buzz throughout the house and dinner is controlled chaos. To Jenny’s near-constant horror and despite her best efforts, her children are barely civilized. John seems to revel in it. I’m used to a certain level of crazy. Between my absentee father, foster families and group homes, I’ve seen my fair share of ridiculousness, but the Allan clan takes the cake. They bring sibling rivalry up a notch.
Jared mocks Jake for not being able to figure out how to pee standing up until he was seven. In defense of her favorite brother, Jessie reminds Jared that he was shitting his pants longer than the rest of them. She even drags Jenny into the battle, confirming how long it took to potty train her oldest son.
Not to be left out, James—Jamie Wamie to his merciless siblings—chooses this moment to mention he was the fastest to get potty trained. Big mistake, kid. His three older siblings gang up on the baby of the family, listing off an unending string of things he took the longest to learn. These guys don’t forget a thing. And they don’t let each other forget a thing either.
It’d be nice to have someone to fight with the way they do. All their bickering is based on an interconnected history and laced with a deep love. Becs gives me shit and Austin is a brother in everything but blood. Still, the connection the Allen siblings have is something else. They share every memory. Every moment, good and bad, they’ve been there for one another.
It’s a hard reminder of how different Jessie and I are, how this is going to end. I should walk out of this dining room now and save us from the destruction that follows me around like a toxic cloud, but I can’t force myself to let go. I glance at Jessie beside me, the familiar wide smile on her lips and joy in her eyes. She’s never felt so far away. Desperate to touch her, I set my hand on her knee and squeeze, despite the pain of my heart cracking. Without looking, she interlaces our fingers and squeezes back.
I let my attention bounce from one family member to the next, like I’m watching a tennis match on speed.
“I’m the first one to give mom a grandbaby.” Jared holds Miguel up as his adorable, drooling trump card. “The only one of us that’s made one of these!”
“Oh, you made him, did you? All by yourself?” Mariana deadpans, her lips pursed and her brow furrowed.
“Yeah, you only get half credit. Plus, just ’cause he’s the only one we know of doesn’t mean he’s the only one,” Jake challenges.
John lets out a long chuckle, but Jenny stares at Jake like she could give him an ass-whooping with just her eyes.
“Jacob Brody Allen! You promise me right now I don’t have grandbabies out there I’ll never get to meet! I would never forgive you.”
Jake’s eyes go wide as he chokes on his mashed potatoes and waves his hands in front of him. “Hell no, Mom!”
Jenny gives him a curt nod.
Mariana turns her attention to me, the other outsider. “How about you, Devin?”
“Hmmm?”
“Any kids?”
The room goes dead silent. Seven sets of eyes study my face with an intensity I wasn’t prepared for.
I shake my head with a smirk twisting my lips. “None that I know of.”
Three heartbeats pass in complete silence. Jake is the first one to crack up. This time the mashed potatoes almost come out of his nose. Jessie is the next to keel over in hysterics, followed by her dad. Jared pounds the table as a deep chuckle rumbles out of him. Mariana laughs into her hand, trying to hide it from Jenny.
“Oh, for Heaven’s sake,” Jenny sighs with a shake of her head. Her reaction sets off another round of laughter from the Allen clan.
When Jessie catches her breath, she wipes a tear from her eyes and pulls me to her. She kisses me on the cheek and whispers, “I…I’m crazy about you.”
The words shoot a burning surge of adrenaline from my chest out to the tips of my fingers and the bottom of my toes. I cup her face and claim her lips.
“That’s enough of that,” Jared grumbles from across the table.
Jessie sticks her tongue out at him. Under the table, she slides her hand up my thigh and massages the growing thickness there. Fuck no. I’m not part of her crazy competition with her siblings. I’m not afraid of her brothers, but I respect them enough not to let their sister give me a handy under the dining room table. I slide my hand under Jessie’s, interlocking our fingers and squeezing. She sighs, but squeezes back.
Jenny follows through on her threat, and after dinner Jamie and Jessie sulk off to the kitchen to take care of the dishes. John, Jenny, Jake and Mariana head off into the living room to watch Miguel roll over and other assorted miracles. Jared catches me returning from the bathroom for the conversation I’ve been waiting all night for.
“Jessie is my baby sister,” he starts, his voice firm and cold. His arms are crossed and he’s scowling. I’d be a little more intimidated if I didn’t know how great his cow impersonations are.
I grunt in affirmation, crossing my arms and matching his scowl.
“Hurt her and we’ll fuck you up.”
I give him a single nod. I’d tear my own arms off before I intentionally hurt Jessie, but I know there’s a devil inside me that I can’t always control. I pray to whatever God will listen that she never sees it.
“Good.” A wide grin spreads across his face, transforming him again into the goofy dad from earlier. He slaps a hand on my shoulder and adds, “You seem like a decent guy. Hope it lasts. Her attention span is shorter than Miguel’s.”
He chuckles and steps past me, heading into the bathroom.
That makes two family members who felt the need to tell me how inconsistent Jessie is. I wish I could say I was surprised, but I’m not. Still, it stings to realize that even if I’m the one who walks away, she’s the one who can move on.
I make my way back to the living room to find Jenny and Mariana on the ground playing with Miguel while John watches from the couch with a proud and protective grandfather’s glint in his eye.
John jerks his head to the seat next to him, so I take it.
“Seems like just yesterday my Jessie Bird was that size,” he muses.
“What’s the story behind the nickname?” I ask.
John lets out a reminiscing sigh and nods to Jake, who’s standing in the corner fiddling with his phone. Swiping right until his finger falls off, from what Jessie says. “You can blame that one. When he’d get mad at her, he’d use her full name like their mother does. But poor guy couldn’t say Jessica to save his life. Jessica Bridget came out more like Jessie Bird. And the way she’s always flying about, it just stuck.”
I nod with a light smile. “They’re close?” I ask, nodding to Jake.
“Two peas, those two. When Jessie was about ten, she wanted this silly doll with these big eyes. Jake, what was the name of that doll Jessie wanted?”
“Bratz, just like she is,” Jake answers without taking his eyes off his phone.
“This is family time, Jacob Brody. Put the phone away or it’ll meet my blender.” Jenny’s sweet voice has Jake shoving his phone back in his pocket. No idle threat—she’s pulverized some electronics before. I can see where Jessie gets that determination from.
John snaps his fingers. “Bratz! That’s it. I never liked ’em. Thing gave me the willies. But she spent months begging us for that silly thing. Promising good grades and a clean room. Anything and everything. She even talked that one”—John points over to Jake— “into a crazy scheme.” John chuckles and Jake sighs. “Going door to door, they told all the neighbors they were collecting for kids in need.” John slaps his thigh with a hearty laugh.
“Mom lost her mind. Chewed my ass so hard some of it’s still growing back. We went door to door again, returning the money and apologizing.” Jake sinks down on the couch next to his dad. “We spent weeks saving. Extra chores, lemonade stands and saving our allowance. And after all that, she played with the damn thing for a day and tossed it!”
“Language,” Jenny snaps, her hands covering Miguel’s little ears. She side-eyes me. “It was longer than that.”
“A week. Tops. She’s a stubborn brat when you tell her she can’t have something, but once she gets it…pffft.” He scoffs. “Nothing keeps Jessie Bird interested for long.”
That makes three. Jessie’s entire family seems to think she’s incapable of caring about much for long. These people know her, inside and out. They love her unconditionally, that much is clear. But even they don’t suffer any illusions about how fast she’ll move on.
I lean back into my chair and let it all settle in. Jessie is all about the chase. My first instinct was right about her—she’s not in anything for the long haul. She just likes shaking shit up and disappearing. Fine. We can do that, Jessie Bird. I’ll get mine and get out before you have a chance to be bored.
Chapter Twenty
Jessie
My dad clears his throat behind me while Jamie’s drying off the last of the pots and I’m filling up the dishwasher.
“About done?” he asks.
“Just about,” Jamie answers.
Dad grabs an extra dishrag off the counter and takes the pan from Jamie. “I’ll finish up,” he says.
“Yes!” my little brother shouts, escaping out of the kitchen faster than a flash of lightning.
“Hey! Why does he get an early release?” I pout, shutting the dishwasher.
Dad keeps his eyes focused on the dish in front of him. “Because I want to talk to my favorite daughter.”
“Your only daughter.”
“Which is why it’d be bad if you weren’t my favorite,” he jokes.
I chuckle, picking up Jamie’s discarded dishrag and drying off a saucepan. I gesture to the living room. “Devin surviving out there?”
Dad nods. “He was alive when I left.”
“Good. I prefer to keep him that way.”
“Something tells me he’s seen worse than your brothers.”
I nod. “He hasn’t had it easy, but I think that just means he appreciates what he has more.”
“People who don’t have much usually do. He seems to care about you quite a bit.”
My heart flips in my chest. “You think so?”
“I do. He’d have to, to put up with your mother.” A moment of silence passes between us before Dad clears his throat. “So, is that the plan? To keep him?”
I shoot away from Dad and buzz around the kitchen, wiping down every surface a dozen times. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t you?”
I bite my lip and shrug. Dad doesn’t say anything more as we put away the last of the clean dishes and utensils. Our work done, I stand and stare off at the empty doorway. Light voices drift in from the living room. I can’t make out Devin’s gruff baritone, but I know he’s there. Sitting with my family, listening to my most embarrassing childhood stories and laughing, no doubt. The thought has a comforting warmth, radiating from my chest and tingling down all my limbs.
We make our way down the long hall, the sound of laughter getting louder as we get closer. I catch a glimpse of Devin, smiling wide and bouncing baby Miguel on his knee. I reach out to brace myself on the wall as my heart shatters. I’ve never had a biological clock, but the sight of Devin’s toned and tattooed arm wrapped around a drooling bundle of cuteness starts a countdown in my womb.
“Dad?” I turn to face him behind me.
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“Do you think you can fall in love in a month?” I ask, feeling my cheeks catch fire.
He gives me that knowing Dad look, the one that reminds me he’s older and wiser. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and cups my face.
“Jessie Bird, you can fall in love in a single moment. I did with your mother.”
I spin on my heels and watch Devin. I know deep in my heart that my dad’s right.
So it turns out I’m not just in love with Devin, but I’m also desperate to have his babies. Not like tomorrow, but some day. And I’m terrified. I have no idea if he feels the same.
Most guys are pretty obvious with how they feel about me. They’re just there, easy for me to reach out and claim if I wanted to. But the only guy I want to claim is Devin, and he seems to like me against his will. He fights it with every ounce of strength he has, and that’s a lot. He’s all muscle.
He likes me, but it also seems he resents me for it. Like I’m a weight around his shoulders. In the beginning, it didn’t bother me. It was a game and I love a challenge. Before there wasn’t any risk. Now it seems like everything is on the line. It was a lot more fun trying to steal his heart before he stole mine. He can hurt me now. It’d be easy. All he’d have to do is walk away.
He’s been quiet since we left my parents’ house. No shocker there—he’s always quiet, but I don’t have it in me to fill the silence with my usual nonsense. The classic rock station playing on the radio is the only sound in the car as we drive to my sorority house.
Devin parks and follows me up the steps to my door. I pull out my keys and fiddle with them.
“Looks like you survived my brothers unscathed.”
“No hives,” he deadpans. He’s always gruff, but there’s a stronger bite to his remark than usual. I’m used to the annoyed lilt to his voice, but now there’s an indifference to his words that’s never been there before.
I bite my lip, nervous yet desperate to ask him inside. He stands stoic on my porch, waiting for me to do something. Say something. All my usual sassiness has deserted me. I don’t want to put on a sh
ow. I want him to see me.
I step into him, placing my hand over his heart as I look up into those dark eyes. “Thanks for today.” My voice is soft. Small. It doesn’t sound like me.
Devin’s grunt is his only response. He doesn’t wrap his arms around me. He doesn’t pull me into him. He doesn’t kiss me. He’s slipping away. I glance between the front door and his chest.
I steel myself. “Want to come in?”
A beat of silence is broken by his possessive growl. He leans down and claims my mouth. I snake my arms around his neck and he moans against my lips. There’s a fervor there, a need brewing between us stronger than any I’ve ever felt. With our lips still locked together, I reach behind me and open the door, pulling him in with me before closing and locking it.
I pull back and he glares down at me. We don’t say a word, but there’s a silent acknowledgment. I slide my hand to his before spinning and leading him to my bedroom.
I cross to my nightstand, flicking on the dim light. At the soft click of Devin locking my bedroom door, I pull my shirt off and glance over my shoulder at him. In a breath, he’s across the room, wrapping me in those strong arms, his lips devouring the soft skin on my neck.
His grip is hard, his touch demanding. He is rough with my body, like he’s desperate for these punishing touches. I melt under his fingertips, every inch of my skin aching for his attention.
“Devin.” I call his name on a breathy moan. He shoves me down onto my bed. I bounce off the mattress, stunned by his sudden ferocity.
He tilts his chin at me, his face cold as stone. “Take your clothes off,” he commands.
My mouth drops open. “What?” I ask, confused by his distance and hostility. He wants me. He can’t kiss me the way he does and not be desperate for me the same way I am for him. But something is wrong. It’s like I’m twisting a knife in his back every time he touches me.
He pulls his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside without a care. My eyes drink in his bare chest, tan and chiseled. I’m frantic to run my hands over his smooth skin.
This is So Happening (So Far, So Good Book 2) Page 13