I stare at him, dumbfounded.
“Are you aware I’m the head of a government think tank on economic growth, Ms. Allen?”
“No, I wasn’t.”
He hands me a thick folder. “I have a pool of funding at my disposal and every year I keep an eye out for promising students with practical ideas. I have to say, your project caught my eye. It is exactly the type of thinking that could help stimulate our state’s economy and build a strong small business base.”
My mouth drops open. “Your think tank wants to hire me to do more business evaluation?”
“Not quite. I want to give you a grant to work with failing small businesses across the state over the next three to five years to save them from going under.” He points to the folder in my hands that I haven’t looked at. “That is a grant application package. A formality for the approval, really, but you’d have to provide me with a scope of how many businesses you think you could help in a five-year period along with a set budget for your salary to include travel expenses, any staff or infrastructure you’d need, publicity for the program and, of course, the budget for improvements to each business.”
“Holy crap,” I swear under my breath.
“Holy crap indeed.” Professor P. chuckles.
“Sorry.” I flip through the thirty-page grant application, overwhelmed and yet simmering with excitement at the possibilities. “There has to be someone more qualified to do this.”
“More qualified on paper perhaps, but I think, to succeed, a project like this needs enthusiasm, optimism and innovation in equal proportions to expertise. It needs someone who looks at failure and sees possibilities. And I think that someone is you, Jessie.”
“Wow, thank you so much.” I bite my lip, turning the idea over and over in my head. It sounds amazing, getting to work with a new and different business every few months. Finding out what their problem is and fighting to get them to where they need to be. Helping to build something. My heart races with the potential before me. Then my mom’s disappointed face flashes in front of me and I let out a long, pained sigh.
Instead of the yes! I want to scream, I hear myself asking, “Can I think about it?”
“Of course. I’m looking to make decisions on next year’s funding by August, so you have a few months to put together your proposal if you’re interested. There’s also the possibility of applying some of your efforts and findings towards a work-study MBA program.”
“Thank you,” I stutter with a nod. In a haze, I stand and stagger out of Professor P.’s office. In my hands is the opportunity of a lifetime. Exciting, challenging and waiting for me. But what do I tell my family? What do I tell Devin?
Too stunned to drive, I take a seat on a bench in the quad and dial Jake’s number.
“Jessie Bird, what’s up?” my favorite brother asks.
“Was it worth it, Jake?” I sputter without explanation.
“Uhhh, I’m going to need some context to that question to have any hope of answering it. If we’re talking about the Louisiana Purchase, that’s a hell yeah. If we’re talking about the Sonics trading Scottie Pippin, that’s a great big fuck no.”
“Urgh, you’re an idiot.”
“You’re the one calling me for advice, so…”
“Fine. I’m an idiot too.”
Jake chuckles. “Now that we’ve established we’re a family of idiots, was what worth it, sis?”
I take a deep breath and clutch the folder that might hold my future. “Doing your own thing. Was it worth it? All the stress and drama. If you could do it all over again, would you still work for Legal Aid?”
“In a heartbeat,” he answers without hesitation.
“But Mom, the guilt…”
“Yeah, I got an earful from Jared and Mom was crushed at first. But in the end, they know I’m doing what I love. And the rest of it doesn’t matter. Jessie, Mom wants us to be happy more than anything else. Yeah, she’d be happier if we all lived on some massive Allen family compound with all of us in shouting distance at all times, but none of us are going to sign up for that.”
I sigh. “There’s this thing I might want to do.”
“Do it,” Jake commands.
“But Mom and Devin are going to lose it—”
“So fucking what? You spend too much time doing what makes everyone else happy and you’ll end up miserable, Jessie.”
“What if making other people happy makes me happy, smart ass?” I look down at my watch, wondering if I can still make it to the dodgeball game for Maddy.
“You’re smarter than that.”
“I’ve gotta go.”
“Of course you do.” He sighs. “See you next week for dinner?”
“Like I have a choice?” I quip and we both chuckle. “And Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Any time, Jessie Bird.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Devin
“Anyone home?” I holler.
“Yeah, coming,” Becs calls from her room. I’m taking her out to a movie tonight, one of the traditions we started when she moved in with Rob and Mandy. I wanted to make sure there was still at least one night a week where it was just us, our small two-person family.
I grab a soda out of the fridge and take a sip as I thumb through the mail, waiting on my baby sister to get her butt in gear. A large, fat envelope at the bottom of the stack catches my attention. It’s got an Indiana address in the corner and Becs’ name on the front. I flip it over and the words Welcome to Notre Dame! in green and gold across the back have my blood boiling.
“Ready?” Becs asks, popping into the kitchen without a care in the world.
“What the hell is this?”
Her eyes go wide, but she brushes me off. “Nothing. Just more college stuff.”
“Indiana?” I bark out.
She squares her shoulders. “Yes. In Indiana.”
“No.” She’s young. She doesn’t know what it’s like out there alone. How shitty people can be. And I’m going to do my damnedest to make sure she goes a little bit longer not knowing.
“Notre Dame is one of the best colleges in the country and I’ve got a full ride.” She raises her voice and her hands ball into fists.
“It’s dangerous.”
“So what? I just shouldn’t go to college, then? You want me to work at the shop with you for the rest of my life?” Her words are coated in disgust. Her contempt for my job, my life, is written across her face.
I let out a low sigh. “That’s not what I’m saying—”
“Oh, better yet, why don’t you just lock me here in my room until I die?” she bites out.
This conversation is getting away from me. “There’s a college right down the fucking street. You’re my baby sister—”
“I am not a baby!” Becs shouts at me.
I raise my voice to meet hers. “You sure as shit aren’t an adult. You’re a stupid kid who thinks running way like her mother did will solve all her problems.” The thought of not being there, of someone hurting her, is enough to keep me from being able to see straight. “You’re not going all the way to Indiana where I can’t protect you. Where I’ll never even fucking see you.”
“Why do you have to be like this?” I don’t answer her rhetorical question. Instead, I stare down at her, arms crossed and jaw set. “Rob and Mandy are fine with me going. Even Jessie wants me to go.”
I jab a finger into my chest. “And it doesn’t matter what I want? I’m your brother.” Your family. “All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you. How the hell am I supposed to do that two thousand miles away, huh?”
“I don’t need protecting!”
“You have no idea the shit that goes down out there. Some guy hurts you, you get scared, what are you going to do?” I stalk toward her, cornering her in the small kitchen.
“I’ll handle it.” Her voice is fragile, cracking at the edges.
“How?” My hands land on her shoulders, I sq
ueeze hard and try to shake some sense into her. “Show me. Some asshole puts his hands on you, how you going to handle it?”
Her breath comes in quick, panicked breaths. She struggles against my grip, pulling away. I don’t let her. Frustration and fury make her eyes catch fire. They’re brimming with tears when she finally screams, “Devin, let me go!”
I drop my hands and step away. She’s sniffing to hold back her sobs, her chest rising and falling in jerky gasps. I scared her. She’s never been scared of me before. My heart shatters in my chest. I reach for her.
She slaps away my hand, pulling her shoulders straight. “Don’t touch me,” she screeches.
“Becs, I’m sor—”
“You’re a bully. Just like him.” Her voice is shaky.
I’ve broken a piece of her. I see it when her eyes find mine. All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect her, but I’m the one who hurt her. And I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I even can.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jessie
I pull back the sleeves of my unicorn onesie—the official uniform for movie night at the Kappa house—and shove a handful of popcorn into my mouth. I’m curled up on the couch, my phone in my pocket in case Devin decides to learn how to text. I rub the hummingbird pendant around my neck with my non-popcorn hand.
A small part of me feels guilty at not coming clean to Devin for fibbing about losing a necklace, but I’d do it again a million times over if it resulted in the past twenty-four hours. I accidentally told Devin I loved him—it was bound to slip out sooner or later, because the feeling sure as hell isn’t going away—and he didn’t run. I thought for sure I’d spook the surly giant. It took weeks just to get him to go out with me and another couple of weeks for him to admit he enjoyed it. I thought for sure letting the L-word slip was going to be the end. But it wasn’t. Now I just need to find a way to convince him of what our future could be. If he asks me to stay, will I be able to say no?
“That’s pretty,” Megan says, pointing to my new necklace and plopping down next to me in her penguin onesie.
I smile widely. “Birthday present from my boyfriend.”
“Awwww,” a chorus of my sorority sisters chimes in.
“Seriously? Didn’t think you were the boyfriend type,” Megan adds.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, you just always seemed to like the chase more than the rest of it.”
I tilt my head and think. She’s right. With other boys, the game was the fun part. Not with Devin. I sigh, thinking about running my fingers through his hair last night with his head on my chest.
“Guess I was just waiting to let the right one catch me.”
“She does exist!” Michelle teases, strutting in from the kitchen in her pink bunny onesie. “The mythical Jessie Bird! More rare than a rainbow unicorn.”
“Hardy har har.” I toss some popcorn at her and she ducks to catch it in her mouth like some freaky food ninja.
She sweeps behind the couch and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “I’ve just missed you, babe.”
I squeeze her forearm. “I missed you too.”
She hops over the couch, embracing her bunny persona, and takes the seat on my other side. “When are we going to meet this hunky boyfriend, anyway?”
“I don’t think he’s ready for the sisters of Kappa just yet.” I laugh. “How are things with Drew?”
Michelle’s face drops into a deep frown. “Non-existent. I thought he was a good guy, but turns out he’s an asshole like the rest of them. Good riddance.” Her voice is detached, but I know her well enough to hear the pain she’s concealing underneath.
I open my mouth to ask what happened when Kimmie comes rushing into the living room. Her worried and serious face doesn’t match her purple dragon onesie.
“What’s wrong, Kimmie?” I stand as she waves me over to the hallway.
“There’s a girl here to see you. She seems upset.”
I follow her to the front door and find Becs sitting on the bench in our front entrance, her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking with obvious sobs. The sight breaks my heart.
“Oh my gosh, Becs!” Without thinking, I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap her in my arms. She slides to the ground, puts her arms around me and rests her head on my chest like her brother did last night. “Are you okay?” She nods against me, but she’s still sobbing and I can’t make out her words. “Is Rob—” My stomach flips and I can’t finish that sentence. Becs shakes her head again, more violently this time. She takes a deep breath. “Did something happen to Devin?”
“Screw that asshole!” she shouts, and her hazel eyes, red from crying, flash with a ferocious anger. I know that look. Somehow, it’s more intimidating coming from petite Becs than burly Devin.
My eyes go wide and my eyebrows shoot into my hairline. “Wow. Okay. Want to tell me what the asshole did?”
“He found out I was accepted to Notre Dame and he lost his mind. He said the only way I’m going to a college out of state is over his dead body.”
I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and rub my hand down her back. “And what did you say?”
“I told him I could make that happen.”
Those wild eyes fix on me and I picture this fierce and fiery young woman going toe-to-toe with her overbearing big brother. I lose it. I crack up, letting out a deep laugh and keeling forward until my head hits the floor.
“Make it happen!” I spit out between hysterical fits.
My laughing is contagious and Becs loses it right next to me. I grab my stomach with the ache setting in. We laugh until we’re both crying. I take a couple of deep breaths and wipe the tears out of my eyes.
“Oh, I love you, kid.”
She smacks me on the shoulder. “I’m not gonna let someone in a unicorn onesie call me a kid.”
I hold up my hands in submission. “Fair. No need to take me out, killer. Come on, let’s get some ice cream and you can tell me all about it.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and lead her into the living room where all my sisters sit, pretending they weren’t listening to every word we said.
“Ladies,” I announce. “We have an honorary Kappa for the night. This is BB and she needs some serious big sister love. Stat!”
My amazing sorority sisters swarm Becs, hovering and cooing as they drag her into the living room and plop her down in the middle of the couch. An ice cream sundae magics its way into her hands, sprinkles and hot fudge included. We don’t fuck around with our emotional eating in this house.
Movie night is replaced with Becs’ live theater. For an hour, she regales my sisters with tales of Devin, the overbearing asshole. I don’t correct her or try to defend him, even when she makes him sound worse than any evil villain ever created. Right now, it’s clear she needs to vent and feel supported without judgment. I bet that’s why she came to me instead of Rob and Mandy.
I know Devin loves her more than anything, and while he may be a dick sometimes—okay, most of the time—he would do anything to keep her safe…including make her miserable. When she’s calmed down and eaten her body weight in ice cream, I’ll try to explain that to her.
My phone rings in my fuzzy pocket and every eye in the room shoots to me with judgment, like we were in a dark movie theater instead of my noisy living room. I pull it out and bite my lip when I see Devin’s name flashing across the screen.
I hold it up to all the girls. “Speak of the asshole.”
Becs’ face scrunches up like she just bit into a lemon.
“Did you tell him where you were going?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “I just stormed out and slammed the door behind me,” she snips with her nose in the air.
“You go, girl!” Michelle cheers from the corner of the couch.
Not helpful, Michelle.
“He’s not my dad. It’s none of his business where I am.”
I step toward the kitchen. “I’m going to answer
it real quick.”
A collective gasp sucks the air out of the room. Jesus, sorority girls can be so damn dramatic.
I weigh my words carefully, making sure I don’t become public enemy number one. “I’m just going to tell him you’re safe. I’m sure he’s worried.”
Becs crosses her arms and scowls at me. Damn, she is so much like her brother. I’m careful to keep the smile off my lips.
“If I don’t answer, you know he’s just going to come over and bust the door down to make sure you’re okay.”
“Fine,” Becs sighs with an eye-roll.
I dart into the kitchen, but the call has already gone to voicemail. I click over and listen real quick.
“Jessie. Devin. Had a fight with Becs. She ran out. I can’t find her. Call me.”
The message is short and direct. Very Devin. It’s not the words he says but his voice that turns my stomach. It’s a mix of desperation, anger and regret. My fingers fly across the keys, eager to take away his pain.
“Jessie—” His voice is ragged and exhausted.
“She’s here. She’s fine. Safe,” I spit out.
He lets out a deep breath, one I bet he’s been holding since she slammed the door in his face. “I’m coming over.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“I’m coming over,” he repeats, the tension in his voice palpable over the roar of his engine in the background.
“Devin—” I don’t get a chance to talk him out of it because the line goes dead. The asshole hung up on me. Okay. Now I’m pissed too.
And that’s how I ended up sitting alone on my front porch in my stupid onesie, the clink of moths crashing into the porchlight above my head the only distraction from the cold. My movie night has gone up in flames thanks to Bennett family drama. I hear Devin’s car barreling down the dark street before I can see it. The slam of his car door tells me the drive hasn’t chilled him out one bit.
“Where is she?” he barks, marching up the driveway.
Hello to you too. My night’s going great, thanks for asking.
This is So Happening (So Far, So Good Book 2) Page 16