by Nicola Marsh
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
THE LAST THING Ryder felt like doing the next morning was giving a speech at his old high school, but he didn’t shirk his responsibilities and it had gone well for the most part. Kids had heckled a tad as expected but most had been staring at him in awe, like they couldn’t believe there was life beyond these hallowed stone walls.
He’d hated attending the exclusive private school growing up and had begged his gran to be allowed to go to the local high school with Archie. They would’ve been in the same year and it would’ve made his transition into the neighbourhood that much easier. But Edie wouldn’t hear of it and had shipped him off to the private school five suburbs over, meaning he’d had to catch a bus.
He’d made friends easily enough but they were the type of kids impressed by money—the size of your house, your parents’ portfolio and your trust fund.
Attending this exclusive school had made him aware of his social standing like nothing else, another reason why he had treasured his time spent with the down-to-earth Scanlons next door.
But as he strode through the manicured grounds, the lush green sporting ovals spread out on either side, he realised how privileged he’d been to attend a school like this. While his final grades had only been slightly above average, the fact he had fulfilled all the requirements meant he could study anywhere in the world. It had given him freedom when he’d craved it the most.
Courtesy of his grandparents’ wealth and connections, he’d got an easy ride through school and he should be thanking Edie rather than eschewing everything she had stood for back then. She may not have supported him emotionally but she’d given him a good start in life.
‘Excuse me, Mr Beale?’
Ryder stopped as a boy of about fourteen appeared out of nowhere. ‘Yes?’
The boy, sporting trendy wire-rimmed glasses and a blazer with a plethora of badges down one side, flushed. ‘I just wanted to say how much I liked your speech. You’ve done a lot of really cool stuff since you left here.’
‘Thanks.’
The boy seemed to expect him to say more, so he continued, ‘This place gives you a pretty good grounding for whatever you want to do in the future. Got any ideas what you want to be?’
‘My folks want me to do engineering.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I’d rather be a vet or a marine biologist.’
Ryder wanted to advise the kid to chase his dreams but it wasn’t his place. Besides, what did he know about planning for the future? He’d chased adrenaline rushes and lived nomadically, running from his past.
His near-death experience had given him a wake-up call but had he really utilised his new life completely?
He’d chased one high after another, while extolling the virtues of making the right choices to thousands of people all over the world and being compensated handsomely for it.
Last night, he’d let Polly call the shots, knowing she was hurting but not wanting to make it worse. She’d made it easy for him. He should be glad. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d looked at him, like he’d disappointed her... It fed into every feeling of unworthiness he’d ever had and it pissed him off.
He’d spent a lifetime running: running from difficult situations, running from his guilt, running towards the next challenge to assuage that emptiness inside. What if he stopped running?
‘Good luck with whatever you choose.’ Ryder stuck out his hand and waited until the kid shook it, impressed by his strong grip.
‘Thanks.’ The boy grinned, released his hand and strolled away, leaving Ryder to contemplate his outlandish idea.
He needed to see Polly again.
But first he had another stop to make.
* * *
‘You look like someone’s kicked you in the guts.’ Archie opened the door and peered at him through bleary eyes. ‘Which is ironic, considering my liver hates me and I feel like I’ve been run over by the Manly Ferry.’
‘That’s what happens when you consume your body weight in alcohol,’ Ryder said, entering Archie’s place and heading for the kitchen. ‘I thought common sense might kick in when you turned thirty.’
‘Screw you.’ Archie clutched his head and winced. ‘I said that too loudly.’
Ryder laughed. ‘Had anything to eat yet?’
‘Are you nuts?’ He mock-barfed. ‘Doubt I could keep anything down.’
‘Mate, it’s been sixteen hours since I put your sorry ass to bed. Exactly how much did you drink?’
‘Too bloody much.’ He winced again. ‘Though I guess I should eat something.’
‘Got any eggs and bacon?’
Archie grimaced but nodded. ‘You know it’s a fallacy, right, that old wives’ tale about a big fry-up being a cure for a hangover?’
‘Used to work in our old days.’ Ryder shrugged. ‘Can’t hurt.’
Archie patted his stomach. ‘Yeah, it can, but I’ve got nothing to lose at this point. Already driven the porcelain bus twice this morning.’
‘Gross.’ Ryder opened the fridge, which was well stocked, and grabbed the ingredients he needed.
‘You didn’t answer my question,’ Archie said, perching on a stool at the newly renovated island bar. ‘Why do you look like shit?’
‘Eat first, then we’ll talk about it.’
Curiosity widened his eyes but to Archie’s credit he waited until Ryder had cooked and dished up a plate of buttered toast, fried eggs, bacon and mushrooms before speaking again.
‘Thanks, mate, this looks good.’ Archie tentatively forked a mushroom into his mouth and nibbled on a piece of toast. ‘Reckon I might be getting my appetite back.’
‘Eat.’ Ryder pointed at the plate as he set a steaming mug of coffee in front of him. ‘Then get this into you.’
Archie took a sip. ‘Hmm...good.’
They ate in silence as Ryder contemplated the wisdom of involving Archie in his love life, considering the woman he wanted to win over happened to be his best friend’s sister.
But if he didn’t he could lose her, and he wasn’t prepared to take that risk. She meant too much to him. It had taken him long enough to get to this point of actually wanting more than sex and he was damned if he’d walk away without a fight.
‘This is about Polly, isn’t it?’ Archie forked the last bit of egg into his mouth, before picking up his coffee mug and eyeing him over the top of it. ‘Everything’s turned to shit as I predicted and now I’ll have to kick you five ways into next week.’
‘We broke up,’ Ryder said, hating how his chest ached with regret rather than relief.
‘Is she okay?’
‘We both knew it was coming and she actually ended it before I had a chance to.’
‘Good for her.’ A groove furrowed Archie’s brow. ‘This plays right into your MO, short term, no drama, so why are you looking so bloody morose?’
Ryder didn’t like involving Archie in this but he had to get some inkling as to Polly’s feelings before he made a total ass of himself with her.
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Bullshit.’ Archie jabbed a finger in his direction. ‘Before I drank myself into a stupor yesterday I saw the way you two looked at each other and I knew you two idiots had moved beyond a fling.’
Archie glanced at him, speculation in his eyes. ‘Polly hasn’t had a real relationship, ever. She’s dated sporadically and has mentioned a few guys, but I’ve never actually met any of them.’ He grimaced. ‘And I’ve never seen her light up the way she does around you.’
He pretended to stick a finger down his throat. ‘Fuck, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but if you have feelings for her and she feels the same way, you gotta go for it, man.’
Encouraged by his friend’s assessment of the situation—he’d know Polly better than anyone—Ryder came to a decision. ‘I need your help.’
Archie groaned and pulled a face. ‘What do you want me to do?’
CHAPTER THIRTY
IT HAD BEEN a hell of a day. Mondays weren’t Polly’s favourite day of the week and today was no exception. Andrina may have given her a promotion but it seemed her boss wanted to drain every last bit of life out of her before she moved on from her PA position. She’d had to ring every major department store to check their stock of the latest cruise wear, personally approach fifty boutiques asking them to stock Sizzle’s latest line, and sort through the CVs from applicants for her job.
It had been the pits, and all that after she’d lain awake most of the night stewing about how things had ended with Ryder.
Professionally, she may be on an upward trajectory. Personally, her life sucked, and it wouldn’t improve any time soon given how long it would take to get over Ryder.
Now this.
Archie wanted her to stop by his place on the way home to check out the interior designer he was contemplating hiring. Sure, she had some expertise in the area but that was with fashion, not cushion fabrics, but she couldn’t say no to her brother. Besides, she had to pull up her big-girl panties and give him the news about her and Ryder firsthand. It was the right thing to do as she didn’t want to mess with their friendship and she knew once he got wind of it he’d blame Ryder for their demise.
It took her forty-five minutes in peak-hour traffic to reach Archie’s place and by the time she marched up to his front door to thump on it she could’ve easily thumped him instead.
Her foul mood didn’t improve when the door opened and Ryder stepped back to let her in.
Mustering her best acting skills, she held up her hand in a half-hearted wave. ‘Hey.’
‘Hey yourself. Come on in.’
He waited until she’d stepped inside and closed the door before speaking. ‘Archie’s not here.’
She stopped mid-stride between the sofa and the chair in the lounge room. ‘But he asked me over—’
‘That was me. He knows I love you and he thinks you feel the same way so he wants us to sort our shit out or he’s going to clunk our heads together.’
Polly reeled from the L word and her hands shook as she dumped her bag on a chair and spun around. ‘Since when do either of us take relationship advice from Archie? He hasn’t been serious about anyone ever.’
‘But he knows us well,’ Ryder said, those mesmerising eyes boring into her, beseeching her to listen when she knew she should turn tail and run. ‘And I happen to think he’s right.’ He shook his head. ‘Because despite that little speech you gave me last night, Pol, and me pretending like I don’t give a shit, I think we’ve moved beyond fucking.’
Polly darted a frantic glance at the door. She had to leave. Now. But Ryder had positioned himself in the lounge room doorway so she’d have to push to get past him and she knew if he touched her she’d be undone.
So she folded her arms and glared at him with as much animosity as she could muster.
‘Please don’t assume you know what I’m feeling, because you have no idea.’
‘Then tell me, please.’ He held out his hands to her. ‘You owe me that much.’
‘I owe you nothing.’ She hated how her throat tightened with the lies wedged there but she had to get the words out before she crumpled completely. ‘Why are you doing this? Prolonging the agony?’
‘It wouldn’t hurt if you didn’t care.’
He advanced towards her and she scooted back in her chair. Yeah, like that would help. She craved his arms around her with every cell in her body. One hug to make it all better. But that would be her undoing too so when he got close enough she held up her hand and pointed at the chair opposite.
‘I can’t think when you’re this close.’
To her relief he sat. ‘Still got the hots for me, huh?’
‘Your ego’s as big as your misconceptions about my feelings for you.’
His mouth eased into the lazy grin she loved so much. ‘You know you turn me on when we banter like this, right?’
She rolled her eyes but she understood, because their sparring had the same effect on her. ‘Fine. You want the truth, I’ll give it to you, but it’s not going to change a thing.’
His smile faded as he leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees, fixing her with a serious stare. ‘Try me.’
Polly had made up her mind regarding them and knew nothing he said would change it, but he was right. They’d been friends for a long time and she owed him the truth.
‘Everything changed for me the night of the fundraiser.’
A small frown crinkled his brow but he remained silent, waiting for her to continue.
‘When I saw you up on stage, delivering your speech, I was blown away by how much you inspire people. What you’ve been through, how you’ve conquered your fears and changed your lifestyle to make a difference with others...’ She pressed a hand to her heart. ‘It got me right here, and made me realise I could never hold you back. You love chasing the next thrill, the next challenge, and we both know that’s all I am to you. So, say we lost our minds and kept dating, what’s going to happen when you get tired of me and chase the next big thing?’
His frown deepened. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you—’
‘Yeah, you would. It’s what you do.’ She shook her head. ‘I saved us both a lot of grief, Ryder, because I’ve just landed my dream job and it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Falling for you, getting more involved, will only screw with my concentration and I won’t let that happen.’ She tapped her chest. ‘I’ve worked too hard to get where I am and I’m not giving it up for some wanderer chasing highs.’
His eyes widened, a flicker of hope making her regret telling him the truth. ‘And that’s your reason for ending things between us?’
She nodded, gnawing on her bottom lip. ‘I don’t want you staying in Sydney for me, then ending up regretting it.’ She shook her head. ‘Tell me your career isn’t everything to you.’
‘It’s not,’ he said, quickly and decisively. ‘Oddly enough, I only realised this morning after giving a speech at my old high school that I’ve spent my life running from my past, blaming Gran, hating the injustice of losing my folks and putting up with Pop’s hatred, chasing the next adrenaline high to make me forget what I left behind.’
He stood and rounded the coffee table to kneel at her feet. ‘But I don’t want to keep running away any more. I’ve found something more important than eternally chasing something just out of reach, and that’s you, Pol.’
He rested his hands on her knees, sending a sliver of heat shooting through her. ‘To be honest, I didn’t know I was capable of love. I’ve never felt worthy of it, especially from someone as amazing as you. I guess not having much of it in my life screwed me up, and while I’ve made peace with Gran and we’re working towards re-establishing some kind of relationship, I still blame her for not showing me what love is.’
Tears welled in her eyes and she reached out to cover his hands with hers. ‘Are you sure you’re not confusing our friendship for something more?’
‘I’m sure, Pol, and you want to know how I know?’
She nodded, blinking rapidly so she wouldn’t blubber all over him.
‘Because usually I can’t wait to move on to the next big thing. But this time, the thought of leaving kills me and that’s all on you.’
Sliding his hands out from under hers, he stood and tugged her to her feet. Resting one hand on her waist, he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up.
‘I love you and that means I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I’ll still travel but I’ll cut back a lot, focussing mostly on gigs in Australia. And once my book’s finished I’ll focus on promoting that here too.’ He rested his hands on her waist and pulled her close. ‘But none of that means anything to me unless I have you in my life. So what
do you say?’
Polly could say so much but she settled for showing him what was in her heart, all the love and hope and anticipation for their future together.
Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his in a slow, sensual kiss, before murmuring, ‘You have me, Ryder. You always did.’
* * *
Dare to read more sexy stories!
Check out our other Harlequin DARE titles:
The Fiancé by Stefanie London
Masquerade by Cara Lockwood
Dating the Rebel by Lisa Childs
Available now, wherever Harlequin DARE books
and ebooks are sold.
www.Harlequin.com
Keep reading for an excerpt from Masquerade by Cara Lockwood.
WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS BOOK FROM
Take control. Feel the rush. Explore your fantasies.
Step into stories of provocative romance where sexual fantasies come true. Let your inhibitions run wild.
ALSO AVAILABLE FROM
Bound to You
Billionaire Bedmates
by JC Harroway
Lone wolf billionaire Hudson Black is Monroe’s business partner...and the sexiest mistake she ever made! When a typhoon traps them in his Tokyo office, a naughty competition takes things from intense to incendiary. Will their mutual seduction destroy their business and their hearts?
In the Dark
Playing for Pleasure
by Jackie Ashenden
A passionate encounter is just what Vesta needs to get over Elias Hart...She knows the billionaire in the penthouse suite will make her fantasies come true, as long as she wears a blindfold. But when the mask comes off, Vesta gets the sizzling surprise she never expects...
Have Me
by Anne Marsh
Drunken debauchery fuels Liam Masterson’s self-loathing nicely. But waking up married to his best friend’s very naked sister is a step too far. A temporary marriage could rescue the billionaire’s reputation, but Hana makes him crave a life he doesn’t deserve. Will his dark secrets destroy everything?