by Kathryn Shay
Of course, he didn’t love her. You didn’t abandon somebody you loved.
Okay, Oliver Twist, stop feeling sorry for yourself—you’re not exactly an orphan.
Do something! She threw off the bedsheet, pulled on the shiny gold one-piece her mother had let her buy at the mall yesterday, flew downstairs, grabbed a half a loaf of stale bread and headed for the dock.
As she had hoped it would, the sunshine lifted her spirits. She cheered up even more when she saw the ducks were already out. There were only two left, just like Keag had predicted. The female had chosen her mate.
Jamie tossed them a hunk of bread and the beautifully multicolored drake scooped it up. He grabbed the next three pieces, too. “Hey, Romeo, leave some for Juliet,” Jamie chided, gently.
The female duck quacked loudly in agreement, and the male, who didn’t quack at all, grunted, making Jamie smile.
“He’s a selfish one, isn’t he?”
Pivoting, Jamie looked up into the somber face of her neighbor.
“Hi, Keag. What’s up?”
When he came closer, he ruffled her hair “I’ve been readin’ my book on the porch since six.”
Her smile broadened. She’d gone over yesterday and given him the volume of poetry, without even wrapping it, so he wouldn’t consider it was a Father’s Day present. “What’d you think of the poems?”
He scrunched up his face and stared at the water. “They’re sad, and graphic in places.”
Plunking down on the edge of the dock, she continued to feed the ducks. “Do they remind you of bad things?”
“Some. Mostly, though, they help me remember the courage and loyalty of the men I knew.”
“You flew a bird there, right?”
“Yeah.”
“You kinda do the same thing now, dontcha?”
“What do you mean?”
“You saved guys hurt in battle then and you rescue hurt people now.”
“Hmm I brought them to the battle to fight, too.”
“But you saved a lot, I’ll bet.”
“You know what, kid, you can really cheer a guy up.”
She grinned. “Just call me Pollyanna.”
Keag threw back his head and laughed. The sound carried out over the lake. Then he sat down and they fed the ducks together in silence. “Something wrong, Jame?” he asked, after several minutes.
She stole a glance at him. Though she had denied it to her mother, it would have been really cool to have him as a father.
“Wanna talk about it?”
She shrugged. “I just don’t like today.”
He snorted. “Me, neither.”
Her head snapped up at his tone. “Won’t you see Jeff and your father today?”
“I don’t know—” His words were cut off by the roar of a motor. Jamie scanned the horizon. Heading toward them was a small boat. As it got nearer, she spotted Jeff in it.
Apparently so did Keag. The biggest grin she’d ever seen split his face. “Well, I guess I am going to see my son today.”
o0o
JEFF RAISED HIS hand and waved at the two people on the dock. Instead of being jealous of Jamie Castle’s friendship with his father, he was pleased. It signaled a change in Spence Keagan—one that Jeff liked. He drew up to the dock in the little Starfish, a new KeagCraft model, which was only big enough for two people.
Jamie’s eyes were like saucers as she helped him moor the small boat. “Wow, Jeff, this is cool. Where’d ya get it?”
“It’s a brand-new product for our company.”
“You buy it for Keag for Father’s Day?”
Quickly, he exchanged an amused glance with his dad. “I think it’s a little small for Keag.” Reaching under the seat, he drew out a wrapped package and hopped onto the deck. “This is his present.”
Full of conflicting emotion, Jeff watched as his father’s eyes narrowed on the gift. There had been rebellious years when Jeff had refused to buy presents for the man before him—refused to even see him on Father’s Day or other special occasions. Lately, Jeff regretted his adolescent defiance.
“Then what’s the boat for?” Jamie wanted to know.
Turning, Jeff chucked her under the chin. “Tell ya in a minute, squirt.” He crossed to his dad and enveloped him in a big hug. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”
Spence grasped onto him. Tight. For a long time. “Thanks, Jeff.”
Without a word he handed his dad the present. Jamie watched as Spence tore open the small box. When he lifted the tickets out, he frowned first. Then he blinked twice, and his throat worked convulsively. “How’d you know I like NASCAR?”
“I saw some books on your bookshelf a while back.”
With a meaningful look, Spence said, “There are two tickets here.”
Jeff tried to sound nonchalant. “Yeah, I thought you and me could go down to Watkins Glen together that weekend. See the race. Maybe hike the gorge. Eat out at the five-star restaurant.”
“I’d love that, son.”
“So would I.”
Jamie piped in with, “Race car driving is mag.”
“I’m not surprised you like it, too,” Jeff said. “I think we’ve got a real Evel Knievel here, Dad.”
“Who’s he?”
“Somebody who liked taking risks.” Jeff glanced at the boat. “Speaking of which. I thought maybe you’d like to try your hand at this little thing, squirt.”
Her forehead crinkled under that awful hair. “Try my hand?”
“Yeah, go for a spin on the lake. Dad and I’ll show you the basics, and you’ll have to take a boating safety course over at the marina, but there’s no reason you can’t learn to drive a boat this summer.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “You remembered! I told you I wanted to learn to drive a boat the day we skied. Maybe get my own someday.”
“Did you?” he teased.
“You know I did. That’s why you brought it.”
Jeff had done it for her, today particularly, because when he’d asked Spence about Jamie’s father, he’d learned the man was out of the picture. And Jeff remembered all too well what a missing father felt like at fourteen on Father’s Day. He yanked his mind away from the bitter memories. “Are you gonna talk all day, or are we gonna start the lessons?”
“Start the lessons.” Grabbing his hand, she tugged him to the boat. “Definitely.”
His father’s face glowed with approval as he followed them. “Okay, first let’s talk about safety,” Spence said.
o0o
WHEN ALEXIS FOUND Spence, Jamie and Jeff all in the water huddled around a cute little boat, she couldn’t hold back a surge of joy. Spence, tall and tanned and more relaxed than she’d ever seen him, spoke to Jamie, who wore a life jacket over her suit. As Alexis neared them, she heard Spence say, “A throttle is very sensitive. The slightest tug and it changes the speed. Then there’s the—” He glanced up as she reached the end of the dock. His smile was warmer than the June sunshine. “Hi, sleepyhead.”
Threading her hair off her face, she smiled back. “You guys must have been up at dawn.” She surveyed the boat. “What’s going on here?”
“Jeff brought over this pint-size poor excuse for a boat thinking maybe the kid might try her hand at it.”
Though he didn’t say it, she heard the unspoken today. Alexis had never appreciated a gesture more. She groaned inwardly that his kindness made him even more attractive. Out loud, she said, mildly, “How nice.”
He shrugged. “We wouldn’t have taken her out without askin’ permission.”
“I know.” Hit by a bit of nostalgia, she grinned. “I was just Jamie’s age when Uncle Johnny—Portia’s dad—taught me to pilot one.”
“You said you didn’t know how to drive a boat.”
“Well, I haven’t done it in a long time.”
“Then it’s okay if Jeff takes me out, Mom?” Jamie interrupted. “I thought maybe you’d say no.” There it was again. Why did her child always cast her in the r
ole of Simon Legree?
“Of course it’s okay.” She snagged Jeff’s glance. “Thanks, Jeff.”
Jamie and Jeff exchanged a high-five and he hefted her into the boat. Alexis couldn’t tear her eyes away from the two men as they instructed Jamie in boat mechanics. Spence was precise and clear. His deep voice was mellow but firm. He pointed out every instrument, gave warnings and finally patted her on the back. “She’s ready.” His eyes narrowed on his son, who climbed in beside her. “How much time do you have to spend with us today, Jeff?”
Alexis’s heart clutched at the hopeful tone and at the fact that he’d had to ask on Father’s Day.
A flash of pain crossed Jeff’s face. “The whole day, Dad. If you’re not busy.” He flushed a bit. “I have something to do at eight, but we’ve got twelve hours until then.”
Spence smiled. “All day sounds great.”
As the two kids sped away, Alexis sank down on the edge of the dock and swirled her feet in the water. Spence braced his arms on the deck next to where she sat and hoisted himself up, his powerful biceps bunching with the effort. He swung around and sat, adding his own swirling feet to the water. He was dripping wet. Water from his navy suit seeped toward her. She wore a black racing suit, which she’d gotten at the mall and a T-shirt with big sunflowers on it. The water from his suit glazed her thigh, kissed her leg; she felt an intimate connection between them. Spence was staring out at the lake, his sunglasses in place, seemingly oblivious to her reaction. She followed his gaze and said, casually, “He wants to spend Father’s Day with you, Spence.”
Spence smiled, but it was tinged with sadness. “I know. He also gave me tickets for a weekend away at Watkins Glen with him.”
“He’s reaching out to you.”
“I guess.”
“What is it?”
“At eight, he’s probably seein’ Judd. In the past he’s always spent time with his grandfather on Father’s Day.”
“Is that so bad?”
Spence shook his head.
“Will you see Judd today?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s Father’s Day.”
The paradox needed no explanation.
“Maybe you could make the first move,” Alexis said, softly.
“No.” His tone was cold, forbidding. He faced her, but the sunglasses concealed his eyes. “Where’s your father today?”
“He’s meeting us here—” she glanced at her watch “—any time now. We’re spending the day at the lake and then going out to dinner.”
“Will Jamie see her father?”
“No.” Her tone was as cold as his had been. Just then the two ducks glided up to them. “Hey, the lovebirds. Let me get the bread.” By silent agreement they dropped the subject of Judd and Jamie’s father and amused themselves with the ducks until the little boat came into view. “Here they come,” Spence said, vaulting to his feet and waving to them.
As they neared, Alexis could see Jamie at the helm.
Spence chuckled. “She’s a natural.”
“She is.”
Jamie was giggling as they approached the dock. So was Jeff. They laughed even harder after Jeff leaned over and told her something; in an abrupt turn of the boat, they sent a wave of water spraying over Spence and Alexis, then headed back out, leaving their parents shrieking in mock outrage.
The laughter died suddenly with the booming thunderclap of a voice behind them. “What the hell is going on here?”
o0o
AUSTIN’S HEART leaped to his throat as the image of his granddaughter superimposed over the image of his son. Never mind that Brody had been driving a snowmobile and was several years older than Jamie when he died. All he could see was the big grin of his son as Brody turned a corner—spraying snow on him and Alexis— just before the vehicle spun out of control and hit the hard-packed embankment with enough force to snap his neck. Then Jamie’s smiling face crystallized again. Austin moaned in pain.
“Dad?”
Shaking off the nightmarish vision, Austin strode quickly to his daughter and roughly grasped her arm. “What’s the matter with you, Alexis? Have you lost your mind?”
“Dad,” she said again, this time soothingly. “It’s all right. Jamie’s learning to drive a boat.”
“I can see that. I can also see that you’ve put her in danger. Your irresponsibility astounds me, young lady.” He glanced at the man next to her. He’d seen him before, at Portia’s house. “Is that your boat? Do you realize the liability you’re assuming? If something happens to my granddaughter, I’ll sue your ass.”
The man’s shoulders stiffened. Alexis reached out and squeezed the guy’s arm in a silent plea for understanding. “Dad, you’re overreacting. Jamie’s safe. She’s got a life jacket on, and Jeff is an excellent teacher.”
“She’s fooling around out there. Just like...”
The pause was long and painful “Oh, Dad.”
“Get her in here now.”
Alexis frowned. “They’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“I said now.”
“Dad, please.” Throwing a quick look to the man beside her, Alexis dragged Austin a few feet down the dock. “What’s going on, Dad?”
He knew his face betrayed his fear—his horror at seeing his only son die. But he couldn’t control it. His hands trembled when he grabbed his daughter. He was breathing hard. “It’s B-Brody. He died horsing around on that snowmobile. The same thing could happen to Jamie in that boat.”
“Oh, Dad.” She enveloped him in a big hug. “What happened to Brody was a freak accident. We can’t keep Jamie in a bubble because of it.”
Austin let himself revel in her embrace a moment, then drew back. “But she’s too young to be driving a boat.”
His daughter reminded him gently, “I learned at her age, right on this very lake.”
To calm himself, Austin took deep breaths. “You did? I don’t remember.”
“Besides, the more she learns about boats and lakes, and the more lessons she has, the safer she’ll be.”
Just then the little boat zipped toward the dock. Austin watched as it slowed down and moored right up next to him.
“Hey, Papa, did you see me drive the boat? Aren’t I great?”
Austin swallowed hard, willing his sanity to return. Clenching his fists at his sides, he managed to say, “Yeah, baby, you were terrific.”
He turned to help her onto the dock. And caught the stranger’s gaze—Keagan, was his name, he thought.
Austin was embarrassed that he’d lost control in front of someone he didn’t know. He couldn’t read Keagan’s expression, which was a testament to how upset he still was.
But Austin dismissed the incident—and the man—as he felt his granddaughter grasp his hand. “Come on, Papa, let me show you the boat.”
o0o
BY SUPPERTIME, Spence couldn’t remember when he’d had a better day. The sun had shone brightly, dappling the lake with its warmth. There’d been a steady breeze, like now, off the water. It had played with Alexis’s hair, ruffling the soft, light-brown strands, which had escaped from a knot at the top of her head.
Portia and Clare had prepared a first-rate breakfast and talked Spence and Jeff into joining them and the Castles. That had led to some waterskiing; Alexis had whipped off her T-shirt to take her turn. She’d had Spence biting bullets as he tried to tear his eyes away from the black lace suit—the same one she’d worn last time when he’d touched her. She had gained some weight and her breasts had been full and straining against the top.
He shifted uncomfortably. Think about something else.
The image of Austin Castle as he exploded early in the morning came to mind.
He’s just worried about me, Alexis had told Spence a few weeks ago, when her father had made such a scene about her ulcer. Then, Spence hadn’t believed the old man’s rage had been caused by concern, but he did now. He’d witnessed stark terror before, in Iraq, and had
seen it today in Castle’s face. Austin had been scared to death. And no wonder.
My brother, Brody, died in a snowmobile accident, Alexis had told Spence.
The screen door banged shut as Jeff sauntered out to the front porch. Built to span the length of the house, Spence had furnished it with comfortable padded chairs. He spent a lot of time out here, contemplating the lake.
“Have a good day, Dad?” Jeff asked, as he handed Spence a beer and took a sip of his own.
“Yeah, thanks for comin’ down.”
His son dropped onto a chair next to him. “It’s Father’s Day, Dad.”
As always, Spence’s first impulse was to avoid a discussion. But there was something coloring Jeff’s tone, and something about seeing a man who’d lost a son, that made Spence speak. He braced his arms on his knees and continued to stare out over the lake. “We haven’t always spent Father’s Day together,” he said, gruffly.
There was a long pause. “You were gone some Father’s Days when I was little.”
“I know.” Spence swallowed hard. “I regret that more than I can say.” He studied the lake, searching for words among the waves, which lapped on the shore. “There’s a poem—I don’t remember who wrote it—but it ends with a line something like, ‘when we grow old, we don’t regret what we did, but what we didn’t do.’” He stole a glance at his son. “That’s how I feel about you, Jeff. About us.”
The blue of Jeff’s eyes deepened with sadness. “I know you’re sorry. It’s why I’m here.”
“But?”
Jeff matched his pose, leaning on his elbows, too. “But Dad, if you have regrets about me, what I don’t understand is why you don’t realize Grandpa has regrets about you.”
o0o
JUDD KEAGAN kissed Anna King’s cheek as she dropped him off at the Catasaga Inn in her small compact. “Thanks for letting me spend the day with you and your children, Anna.”
Lightly, Anna held on to his sleeve. Her warm brown eyes filled with sympathy. “I know how hard today is for you.” She flicked a glance at the restaurant. “I’m glad you’ll get to see Jeff.”