by Kathryn Shay
After their game at the softball toss—Jamie and Max had won only by a narrow margin—the Castles and the McPhersons and the Keagans wandered the grounds together, leisurely chatting, immersing themselves in the smell of hot dogs and fried dough, listening to the soft bark of the concession people and absorbing the warm rays of the sun. Alexis had strolled next to Spence, feeling both enervated and comforted by his presence. It was at dinnertime that his surprise had arrived.
The woman had approached them while they were standing in line for food. “No need to wait to eat, Keag,” a sultry voice had declared. Spence and Alexis circled around to see Nancy Anderson behind them.
She was kind to everyone, especially Clare, even as she dragged Spence away for a cozy meal under the tree. Truthfully, he appeared relieved to be going. And that had hurt.
“Penny for your thoughts.” Alexis gazed up at Portia. Her friend’s face was darkly tanned and her black hair was pulled back in a braid. With her fringed sleeveless vest, she almost looked like a Native American.
“Just enjoying the weather,” Alexis lied, boldly.
Plunking down onto the blanket, Portia sighed. “Isn’t the festival great?”
“Hmm.” Alexis studied Jamie and Max by the lake, where they’d wheeled Clare to feed the ducks. But eventually her eyes strayed back to Spence.
Portia followed her gaze. “Nancy’s a nice woman.”
“She seems it.”
“Spence and she have dated off and on for years.”
Now that was something Alexis could have lived without knowing. “How nice.” She tossed the suddenly tasteless burger into the bag and fought the urge to curl her fists into the blanket.
“Not good for Nancy. Spence isn’t the settling-down type.”
“Is she?”
“It’s no secret she’d like to nail him.”
“And he can’t be nailed?”
“Not so far.” Portia’s eyes focused on the pilot. “Maybe with the right woman.”
Alexis stood, then, and said, “Well, I hope she finds him,” and headed for Jamie and Clare.
Just before the fireworks, at about nine, Jamie tugged on Alexis’s hand. They were in front of the huge Ferris wheel. The festival lights sparkled off the cars as customers piled into them. “Come on, Mom. Sit with me.”
“Not on your life. I know you. You’ll scare me to death.” She handed the concession guy her ticket and jumped into the vacant car. “I’ll go alone.”
As she closed the bar, her daughter called out “Chicken!” and climbed into the next car with Portia. Max kept Clare company on the ground.
Alexis smiled and leaned back against the seat, surrounded by the smell of vinyl and grease. Jamie was having fun, and it was gratifying to see her so happy. The Ferris wheel bumped up. Alexis was having fun, too. Her stomach hadn’t bothered her in weeks. She’d been right to come to Catasaga. She scanned the grounds. Except for one problem, which could be controlled. All she had to do was stay away from him
Where was he, now? she wondered, as the ride hitched up a notch. Off with Nancy Anderson? He’d finished his volunteer stint. Maybe they’d gone back to her place, or his. Surely they’d be sleeping together. A virile man like Spence probably had an active sex life. The thought made her stomach churn and her heart ache. The Ferris wheel moved again. Dimly, she realized that something was different, though. The car wasn’t going up; instead it was coming down. She hoped nothing was wrong—she’d been looking forward to this ride all day. When she reached the bottom, the bar suddenly swung back and Spence jumped into her car.
“I know the concession guy.” He grinned. “Thought you might want some company.”
She pretended to scold him, though her heart was tripping in her chest. “Only if you promise not to rock the car at the top.”
“Hell, darlin’, that’s half the fun.”
o0o
THE FERRIS WHEEL made its slow, deliberate ascent, much like a helicopter lifting off. At each stop, Spence shifted dramatically in his seat. The first few times, Alexis was brave, gripping the bar, ignoring his antics. As they neared the top, however, she inched closer to him. He took up more than half the car, with his wide shoulders and his long legs, so his proximity to Alexis suited him just fine.
He shook his head at his own, contradictory behavior. He’d decided he needed a date, and Nancy had provided the ideal opportunity when she showed up with supper. But Spence had been unable to get Alexis out of his mind. He’d kept seeing her innocent reaction to the fair and feeling her creamy skin underneath his fingertips. So he’d left Nancy abruptly with a lame excuse, and sought out the Castles. Now he was deliberately flirting with Alexis, instigating the physical closeness that he craved.
It felt damn good.
He smiled and made small talk. “Nice out tonight, isn’t it?” He rocked again and idly glanced up at the stars.
“Yes, it is. Stop rocking this thing, Keagan.”
“Nah.” He winked at her. “How else am I gonna get a pretty girl to sit close to me?”
Pointedly, she glanced down to the mob on the ground. “You don’t seem to have trouble in that department.” Her voice held a trace of frost that would do Miss Alexis proud.
“Nope, can’t say I have.”
“Nancy Anderson looks like Jenna.”
“A little.”
“You always date Jenna clones?”
“No. I like variety.” And right now, the one at the top of his list was a breath away from snuggling next to him.
Rock, rock.
“Spence!”
They were one bump-up away from the top. “How about you?” he asked, nonchalantly sliding his arm along the back of the seat. When his hand grazed her head, it gave him an excuse to do what he’d wanted to do all day long—pull out the tie. A mass of fluffy hair, curling every which way, fell around her bare shoulders.
At first, she stilled, then leaned back into his arm.
“You always date suits?” he asked.
“Usually.”
He couldn’t keep himself from probing, “Was Jamie’s father a suit?”
A slight pause, then she shook her head.
Rock, rock. She inched closer, fitting just right into the crook of his shoulder.
When they reached the very pinnacle, he rocked his best.
And the effort was worth it.
All warm and feminine, she turned her head into his shoulder and nestled close.
His hand came down to touch her bare arm. Up and down he caressed her, loving the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. “Shh, it’s all right.”
“If you’d just stop rocking.”
He chuckled, his lips in her hair, near her ear. “You think I’m nuts?” His hand slid higher, up to those creamy shoulders where he grazed his fingertips back and forth.
She curled fully into him.
So this was Alexis acquiescent. Relaxed. He cuddled her to him and settled his chin on her head. She ran a hand across his chest, left it there, and sighed. The soft sound zinged through him like a shot of good bourbon. And made him hard.
Stupid, he told himself. There was nothing but trouble ahead with this woman if he let nature take its course. He should push her away. Instead, he glanced up at the canopy of stars above, tugged her as close as he could and kissed the top of her head.
And rocked some more.
o0o
THE SHRILL OF the microphone, piped into the bunk room of Guardian Flight Base, roused Spence out of a dead sleep. Still, he was on his feet and out the door in seconds.
So was Teddy. Both men raced to the operations center where Sally was on duty as the night dispatcher. The large clock on the wall told him it was three in the morning, and the computer screen gave him permission to fly. Out in the hangar, the ground crew would start preparing the helicopter for takeoff. Meanwhile, Teddy recorded the information from the on-site medics over the phone.
Spence couldn’t help overhearing some of the details: Passen
ger train collided with a tractor trailer...nearby small town of Geneva...driver and several passengers dead...more injured...HazMat team on-site...nasty diesel fuel spill. After receiving a firm okay on the weather, Spence and Teddy hustled out of the base with Sally’s sober, “Good luck, guys,” trailing after them.
Headsets in place, they were strapped in the ship and lifting off in just under their usual five-minute response time. Teddy’s grave voice broke the silence. “It’s a kid, Keag. Three-year-old was thrown all over the train. I always hated that those trains didn’t have seat belts. The firemen got her out, but her mother didn’t make it.” Teddy swallowed hard. “It doesn’t look good for the baby.”
It looked even worse when they landed. Emergency vehicles crowded in every square foot of space. Huge generators illuminated the crash site, so that it resembled a scene from a science fiction movie after an alien attack. They alighted quickly. Spence helped Teddy drag out the short spine board and the wheeled stretcher from the back of the ship. Teddy hustled toward a somber-faced medic who was motioning him over. Spence readied the passenger compartment, then headed for the firemen as two ambulances tore out of the area; the wailing sirens pierced the still night air.
A weary, soot-faced battalion chief nodded to him. “The truck tried to turn into an adjacent street at an unguarded crossing,” the man explained. “The train dragged it almost eighty yards before it stopped.”
“How many injured?” Spence asked.
“We lost count.” He nodded to Teddy’s group, where the paramedic hunched over the stretcher. “You got a bad one there.” He shook his head. “I don’t envy you.”
“Any relative survive?” Spence asked.
Again the firefighter shook his head. “Other passengers tell us it was just her and her mother.”
Teddy waved Spence over. Steeling himself for the sight, Spence hurried to the victim. The little girl had been strapped onto the small spine board, with several rolled-up towels outlining her frail torso and dark-haired head for further stabilization. She was unconscious, but moaning—her small fingers clenched into fists. As he and Teddy lifted the backboard onto the stretcher, and headed for the plane, Teddy filled him in. “Obvious head injury.” Spence had seen the bruises around the oxygen mask and understood the need to immobilize her spine. “More than likely she has multisystem injuries, probably in her chest area.”
Carefully sliding the stretcher into the ship, Teddy vaulted in with the patient and Spence slammed the doors shut. He circled around, jumped into the cockpit, cranked the engine and took off in seconds.
He could hear Teddy’s soft voice in the back. “Come on little one, don’t give up.” Some shuffling. More crooning. “Blood pressure’s going down. Pulse is erratic. Come on sweetheart. Breathe. We’ll get you home yet.”
Spence prayed, as he often did in critical moments. He knew the dangers this time: shock, since a toddler’s blood volume was so small; and internal injuries—blood or air in the thoracic cavity. Any number of things could snuff the life out of the child like a careless wind extinguishing a candle.
He also mouthed the words to Donne’s poem, “Do not go gentle into that good night,” then added, “Please!” in case good manners made a difference.
There was nothing else Teddy could do except to keep talking to her. For several minutes, just the drone of the medic’s voice, with that of the engine and rotor blades, reverberated through the small confines of the helicopter cabin.
But just as the heliport to Rochester’s City Hospital, with its miracle-producing new pediatric ward, came into view, Teddy stopped talking
And Spence stopped praying.
o0o
THE SUN ROSE over the lake like a giant ball of fire—hot and beautiful—at seven-thirty in the morning. Alexis hummed as she made decaf coffee and crossed to the windows facing the water while she waited for it to brew. A soft breeze blew into the front room, ruffling her off-white, satiny tap pants and matching camisole. She had been too hot to wear the robe that went with the outfit, so she’d draped it over a chair.
Things were going well. Jamie had found a soul mate—though a mute one most of the time—in Max, discovered new relatives in the McPhersons and befriended the Keagans.
The last brought a smile to her lips, despite her growing concern about her feelings for Spence. She could still picture him three nights ago, rocking the damn Ferris wheel. As he’d expected, she’d cuddled into him. His caresses on her bare shoulder and in her hair had felt better than anything she could remember. Closing her eyes, she savored the sweet sensations again.
She didn’t know when she’d stopped denying her feelings for him or thinking that their relationship had to end in August. Maybe, after she made her decision about Guardian, they could start dating. Certainly not now. There could be all sorts of horrible accusations. That Spence was using her to win the grant. That for a million dollars, he’d cuddle with the devil. And what about her professional reputation? Who would believe that she had remained objective in the office, while necking with the head pilot in private. The whole question of conflict of interest unnerved her—for many reasons—so she shoved it away and tried to think positively. Who knew, in five or six weeks, what might happen? Though she’d be back in Rochester at the end of the summer, the city was only forty miles away. She still had three more steps to complete for the grant: analyze the results of the independent audit—which were due in any day now—investigate the training program and take a simulated flight next week. All told, she should have the last two weeks of August to compile her information and make a recommendation. Then she’d be free...
When the rich, strong scent of coffee filled the air, she poured a mugful, donned the robe and strolled out to the porch to enjoy the early July sunshine. No sooner had she sat down on a padded bench, than she saw him.
Still in his flight suit—apparently he’d just returned from his night shift at the base—Spence strode purposefully down the grassy incline between his house and the McPhersons’ cottage. His boots stomped the wooden planking out to the end of his dock; she assumed he’d get into the boat and drive away.
He didn’t. Instead, he kicked off his boots and socks, rolled up his pant legs and dropped down onto the dock’s edge. Dunking his feet in the water, he stared out at the lake for a few moments, then hunched his shoulders and wearily rubbed his hands over his face.
Something was wrong.
It took her only a few minutes to decide. After pouring a steaming mug of coffee for him—how did she know he took it black?—she crossed Portia’s yard and headed for his dock.
She called from a few feet behind him, remembering what he’d told her about vets hating loud noises and people sneaking up on them. In a public place, they always sat with their backs to the wall, where they could watch the door.
At first, he stiffened, then glanced over his shoulder.
His mouth was grim but it was his eyes that stopped her. They’d held a warrior’s sadness in them.
For a moment, she watched him, then handed him the mug. He stared at it, though he took it from her. “Thanks.” His voice was raw, as if he’d been shouting.
“Mind if I sit?”
“I’m not very good company.”
“I don’t care.”
He shrugged, which she took as silent consent. Perching on the edge of the dock, she sat close but not touching. They watched the lake ripple and ebb for a few moments, tracked a soaring pigeon, then a hawk.
“This is usually my favorite time on the lake,” he finally said.
“I can see why. I’ve found myself looking forward to these mornings alone and I’ve only been here six weeks.”
“Where’s the kid?”
“She stayed overnight at Max’s.”
Spence’s brow arched. “There’s a switch. Usually those damned parents can’t be bothered.”
“You told Jamie they did their best. They worked day and night to make a success of the business.”
> “Well, before they know it, Max will be grown.” He shook his head. “If only people knew how temporary life is—how fleeting.” The pain in his voice reached out to her like a lover’s hand in the dark.
“Spence, did something happen?”
He was quiet a long time. “Yeah.”
She waited.
“We lost a kid. A baby, really. Three years old.”
“Oh, my God.” Instinctively she grasped his arm. Instead of shrugging her off, as she’d half expected, he seized her hand in his, and gripped it, as if he needed human contact. She held on tight.
“Severe head and chest injuries. She was breathin’ when we got there and we almost got to the hospital...” His voice trailed off, rusty with pain. “We waited around, to talk to the doctors; they said there was nothing we could have done.” He picked up her hand and brought it to his mouth. Lightly, he kissed it, as if he didn’t even know what he was doing. “I...I...” He didn’t continue. And again Alexis waited. “I found her sneaker in the ship when we got back to the base. This little pink thing with Pooh Bear on it. Must have fallen off in transport. Teddy broke down when he saw the thing.”
Alexis battled back the tears. Spence needed strength now, and companionship. “Where is Teddy?”
“He went home with Sally.”
And you came here alone. “I’m sorry.”
His whole face strained, he stared up at the bright blue, cloudless sky—a much too-cheerful backdrop to his harsh reality. “You never get used to it, you know? Never. I saw so many people die in the Middle East. So many kids. And still, I feel each one.”
“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?”
“It’s all so senseless.”
“Yes, it is.”
Looking back out to the lake, he sipped his coffee. She sipped hers. All the time, their hands rested clasped together on his knee. They didn’t speak for a while, then talked of other things. “The ducks haven’t been around—she’s probably incubating...Jamie’s book was a nice gift...so, any special plans for the rest of the summer?”
After half an hour, Spence’s stomach growled. He snorted. “Hungry, I guess.”