“Liz.”
“Promise me, Jayson. No matter what.”
“I promise. No matter what,” he replies in a hushed voice and crushes me to him in a fierce embrace. We stay that way for a long while, holding each other as we look upon Elizabeth Ann’s gravestone.
“Want to read Goodnight, Moon to our daughter?”
Jayson and I have been making a list of the things we would have done with Elizabeth Ann this past year if she had been born. On that list are some of the books we would have read to her at night, songs we would have sung to her, places we would have taken her. We both wrote her letters and I purchased a weather-proof lockbox for us to put them in. We’re going to bury the box next to her grave and add to it every time we come back.
Jayson reaches inside the canvas bag again and takes out the children’s picture books we ordered. We’ve got about a dozen of them we want to read to her. He hands me Green Eggs and Ham. It was one of my favorites when I was little.
Jayson opens the book he’s still holding and begins, his deep voice carrying over the wind.
Chapter 29
Seattle
Daniel and Drew
The long winding drive that leads up to Daniel and Drew’s estate is something to behold. The coniferous trees that grow in the Pacific Northwest are nothing like the spindly loblolly pines that grow in Coastal Plains of North Carolina. When I lived here, the landscape reminded me of Christmas even in the summertime.
It’s been two days since we first visited Elizabeth Ann’s grave. Jayson and I spent hours reading and talking to her before his parents, Ryder, and Julien arrived. They were emotionally exhausting and physically taxing days for everyone. Jayson and I went back again yesterday and planted new flowers amongst the ones that were already growing around the statue. We wanted something from us to grow there with our baby girl. Jayson also helped me make another rubbing as I want both of us to have one. I’m going to get them professionally mounted and framed when we get back home.
“Holy shit,” Julien says from the front seat of our rented Tahoe.
I’ve been snuggled into Ryder’s side in the back seat as Jayson drives. Up ahead of us is Daniel and Drew’s mansion, or what Drew joking calls their country home. I know exactly how Julien feels as I felt the same way when I first it.
“Jayson, you’ll need to stop at the guardhouse up ahead.”
“Are you shitting me? How rich are they?”
If he did a little research on them and on D & D Technology, he would already know how much. He slows down at the imposing two-story gate and stone guardhouse and I roll down my window.
“Miss Elizabeth,” Hank greets me with a toothy grin. “Welcome back.”
“Hey, Hank. You’re looking dashing as ever.”
“We’ve missed your smiling face around here. They’re expecting you. Don’t forget to say goodbye on your way out.” The gates open and I wave to Hank as Jayson drives through.
“I thought Fal’s place was huge, but it’s got nothing on this,” Ryder says, leaning forward to peer through the front windshield as Jayson pulls up to the main steps of the house.
There’s a place located near Asheville, North Carolina, called the Biltmore Estate. My parents took me and Hailey to visit a few times. The expansive beauty of the Vanderbilt home and its surrounding grounds was awe-inspiring and breathtaking to me, even as a child. The outside of Daniel and Drew’s home holds many similar features to that of the Biltmore House but at half the scale. However, where the Biltmore was elegantly crafted in design on the inside, Daniel and Drew’s house is homier.
Home. This was my home for a year. It was a place where Daniel, Drew, and I cooked meals together. A safe place where I grew stronger after I left the medical facility. It’s a place that sheltered me during my darkest nights. Nights when dreams filled with fractured memories would come and nightmares of Him would try to drown me in darkness.
I grab Ryder’s hand, but I don’t yet open my door to get out.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
Jayson and Julien turn in their seats to look at me.
“Liz, if you’re not ready to talk to them yet, we can turn around and go back,” Julien offers.
“It’s not that, Julien. I’m just nervous, I guess.”
Jayson looks back at me. “If at any time you want to leave just say the word.”
I look into the eyes of each of these three men. Each of them so integral in my life, playing pivotal roles in the formation of the woman I have become. “I’m ready,” I tell them.
Even as we approach the house, I don’t know how I should feel or what to expect when I see Daniel or Drew for the first in months. I’ve been so angry at the both of them. But as soon as the massive double oak doors open and Daniel steps out, my feet take over as I fly into his open arms.
“Oh sweet, sweet girl. Welcome home, Elizabeth,” Daniel greets me, lifting me up in his arms to twirl me around. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. So very sorry about how I handled everything.”
I was sure that I had no more tears left to cry, but I was very wrong. “I’m sorry too. I’ve missed you.”
“Not as much as we’ve missed you, baby girl.”
Daniel puts me down, but he doesn’t release me. Since getting my memories back, I’m able to see how much Daniel looks like my dad. I hold his face between my hands and examine every feature. His hair is exactly the same shade as Dad’s. His eyes are the same color too, and the shape of his mouth. God, he even smells the same as Dad—clean linen and mint.
“You look just like Daddy,” I say.
Shock is the first to come and then realization. “You remember John?”
“Daniel, I remember everything.”
“When? How?” he splutters.
“There’s so much I need to tell you and Drew.”
Ryder, Jayson, and Julien make their way up the stone steps. Ryder takes Daniel’s outstretched hand and shakes it, but Jayson and Julien hold back, untrusting and wary.
“Boys, it’s nice to see you again. Please come inside.”
“Where’s Drew?” I ask Daniel as we file into the open foyer. There are two curved staircases on either side that lead up to the second floor. A Swarovski crystal chandelier hangs above us, catching the light streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“He’s upstairs resting and waiting for you.”
Those words propel me up the closest staircase to seek him out. Video calls aside, I haven’t seen Drew since early August when I left to go to North Carolina. I notice the door to the master suite is open and I tiptoe up to it. The noises from a television filter through the open door and it makes me grin as I hear Drew’s favorite soap opera playing quietly in the background. I stop at the doorway and knock gently before entering. Inside, I find Drew propped up against the headboard of an enormous ornate bed, a mass of pillows at his back and a cup of tea in his hands. He looks so frail from here. He’s lost even more weight since the last time I saw him.
“Hey old man,” I say.
The rim of the china teacup arrests halfway to his lips. When he looks over and finds me, a smile so sweet blooms across his face. “It took you long enough.”
“Well, you know me. Stubborn to the core.”
He places the cup down on the table next to him and pats the covers. “Get over here and give me a proper hug,” he demands, and I do, squeezing him carefully yet tightly.
Drew is not my blood relation like Daniel is, but it doesn’t make me love him any less. He and Daniel dropped everything when they were called. They took me in, cared for me, fought my battles with me through every step of my recovery. Drew had never met me, and yet he has loved me as if I am his own flesh and blood. How hard it must have been for both of them to have me suddenly thrust into their lives. I was in a coma; my entire family had been murdered. They had to deal with all of that by themselves, making the best decisions they could with what little information and preparation they had at the time. As m
uch as keeping my pregnancy and the loss of my child a secret hurt me, I can understand now why they chose not to tell me at the time, and I believe Daniel when he said they were going to once they felt I was strong enough to handle it.
“You look wonderful, sweetheart. Your hair is much longer. It suits you. I must look a mess,” he says with a shaky hand running over the blue headscarf that covers his hairless head.
“Nonsense,” I tell him, laying my cheek against his shoulder. “You will always be a handsome devil in my eyes. Very sexy, like The Rock or Bruce Willis or Vin Diesel.”
He chuckles and turns off the television with the remote. “Have you seen her yet?”
“Yes. The gravesite was beautiful. And the statue and poem. I appreciate the love and care you and Daniel put in to create such a lovely place for her.” I peer up into his warm chocolate eyes. “Did you get a chance to hold her before they took her?” I don’t know why I’m asking that. I guess I want to know if she felt the touch of someone who loved her before they took her away and buried her.
“Oh yes. She was perfect, Elizabeth. So tiny, about six inches, but absolutely perfect. We had the doctors lay her beside you. We made sure she felt your love. We made sure she was buried with respect.”
Goddamn these tears that won’t stop. “Thank you,” I whisper, my heart breaking then filling with his words.
I don’t know how long we sit there, our hands clasped together, lost in silence. Daniel must be keeping the guys downstairs to give me and Drew some alone time together.
“My memory came back two months ago. All of it,” I tell him.
“Elizabeth, that’s wonderful—”
I gently cut him off, “But so much has happened in those two short months. There’s a lot I need to tell you and Daniel. Some of it you aren’t going to be happy to hear.” He frowns. “I also have some good news, but it has to stay between us for now.”
“Alright.”
I pull my necklace out from beneath my blouse. “I asked Ryder to marry me. Funny thing is, he had already bought me a ring and was going to ask me. We both said yes. I’m getting married.” I laugh softly, ripples of happiness in my voice.
“It’s a gorgeous ring, Elizabeth. The last time we spoke over video, I could tell by the smile on your face and the way you spoke about him how deeply you loved him. He must be a wonderful man to have captured your heart.”
“Ryder is my best friend. I have loved him most of my life. I have never been happier. He completes every part of me.”
Drew shifts slightly and pulls me into a hug, kissing my temple. “Then why the secret?”
Drew doesn’t know anything about my past, so I explain, “I haven’t told Jayson or Julien yet. Before the attack, Jayson and I were together. He and his twin brother, Julien, have been my best friends since first grade. They lived next door to me. I started dating Jayson in high school. Elizabeth Ann was his.”
Drew blows out a soft whistle. “And you remember all of that? It must be hard for him.” That’s the struggle and profound guilt I feel when it comes to Jayson. Having me come back, finding out he lost a daughter and then standing helplessly by as he watched me fall in love with another man, a man that was his best friend. I can’t begin to imagine how Jayson must feel.
“Yes. Jayson was my first romantic love. But I was also in love with Ryder at the same time. Ryder and I never acted on our feelings toward one another since I was with Jayson, but it was always there. A part of me feels guilty and ashamed about how things turned out for Jayson. He deserved—deserves better from me. He lost everything that night too.”
“Elizabeth, you can’t help who you fall in love with. If it’s Ryder you see yourself spending the rest of your life with, then he is the man you are supposed to be with. You shouldn’t feel guilty about loving someone with your whole heart.”
“Oh, Drew. I love Ryder so much. But I screwed up. I made a mistake when my memories came back. I hurt everyone, especially Ryder. I’m so lucky that he loves me enough that he was able to forgive me. I told you there was a lot I needed to explain. It’s going to take a while.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Whenever you’re ready, Daniel and I will be there. We love you like a daughter. I hope you know that. We would do anything for you.”
I sniffle, “I know. I’m sorry my anger kept me away. I threw away a lot of precious time with you and Daniel.”
“Shush now, child. No more apologies.”
“Thank you for taking care of me. For loving me.”
“Loving you was easy,” he says. “Now, I need to work on getting better so Daniel and I can walk you down the aisle.”
My head pops up off his shoulder. “I was hoping, I mean, I was going to ask you both, but I didn’t know how things stood between us. I would love that.”
“Like I said, you’re my daughter in all the ways that count. Of course, I’ll be beside you for every step.”
Drew and I sit and talk about what has been going on with his treatment. As hard a road as he has had to travel, the end prognosis looks promising. The treatment plan his doctors developed appears to be working, but the toll it has taken on his body is telling.
Eventually, Daniel comes to find us and helps Drew downstairs to the atrium where the boys are gathered around a circular gas fireplace situated in the middle of the room. I give Ryder, Jayson, and Julien a tour of the house while Daniel and Drew get an early dinner prepared. I take the boys to my room first, but it’s the game room with the large snooker table and the theater room that grab their attention; that is, until I show them the indoor and outdoor pools, and the tennis court.
Daniel insists we eat out on the patio, the chill of the late afternoon being doused by the heat lamps situated around the marble patio table. That gives me a chance to snag him away for a private moment in the kitchen so I can tell him about my engagement. He cries which makes me cry yet again.
As evening settles along the ridgeline of Douglas firs, aspens, and oaks behind the house, we watch from the patio as the horizon glows an autumnal red. Moving inside, we settle in the great room and I try my best to explain everything that has happened since I last spoke with Daniel and Drew. I tell the two of them about my memories coming back; my trip with Fallon; seeing my house for the first time since that night and my plans to buy it and fix it up; what Maria did; the threatening text message; my vandalized Hellcat; and my most recent trip back to the hospital after being pushed in front of an oncoming car. Yeah, those last things do not go over well at all. It takes over an hour for me to belay their fears and the guys have to jump in to reassure them that I will be protected and looked after. Daniel makes them promise, against my very loud protests, that I am not to be left alone at any time. I reluctantly relent once Drew threatens to hire a bodyguard to stick by my side day and night.
We have one more day left in Seattle. One more day for me and Jayson to visit our daughter’s gravesite before we leave. One more day for me to see Daniel and Drew. And then it’s back home for Christmas. Even with the threat of an unknown stalker hanging over me like a dark shadow, and the possibility of Maria being brought up on criminal charges, I’m looking forward to spending the holidays with Ryder, Fallon, Jayson, and Julien. My boys. My family.
Unfortunately, I could never have prepared myself for what would happen in the coming days.
Chapter 30
“Merry fucking Christmas Eve, y’all! Now get your asses up,” a voice booms on the other side of Ryder’s bedroom door before it opens and in strolls Fallon.
“Come on, man,” Ryder groans and pulls me closer in our spooning position.
We arrived at the Cutton house yesterday afternoon and stayed up all night talking with Faith, Randy, Brea, and Jamie. Which basically meant that Faith, Jamie, and Brea yapped on about weddings, while Ryder and I sat cringing because, let’s face it, no bride-to-be wants to have her wedding hijacked by well-meaning family members—even when she knows it’s coming from a place of love. Perhaps e
loping is not such a bad idea after all. Around one in the morning, Ryder and I were able to escape, and we fell face-first, exhausted, and still fully clothed into bed.
Fallon’s ice blue eyes meet mine as he flops down on the bed beside me. “Good morning, kitten.”
I grin then slap my hand over my mouth and muffle out, “Morning breath. Let me go brush my teeth.”
“Fuck that. Give me a hug.”
“Get your ass out of my bed and off my woman,” Ryder sleepily grunts and reaches over me to shove Fallon off the side. I scramble off the bed and run into Ryder’s bathroom to freshen up, thankful that I’m still in the jeans and shirt I was wearing last night. Ryder passes me on his way into the bathroom as I come out, stopping to kiss me along the way.
Feeling more awake now—even though I’m dying for a cup of coffee—I tackle Fallon where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” I tell him, thankful he kept his promise to spend Christmas with me and Ryder. I was not going to allow him to spend the holidays by himself this year. Fallon grabs my waist and throws me up in the air to land with an umph on Ryder’s mattress. Just like at Tatiána’s house, I hop up and start jumping on it like a trampoline much to Fallon’s amusement.
“Is everybody up?” I ask him between jumps. I can’t see Ryder’s clock from here so don’t know what time it is.
“Faith let me in. They were having breakfast.” Fallon eyes me, his gaze focused. “Are you going to tell Jay and Jules about that rock on your finger?”
After we landed at Raleigh-Durham airport yesterday, Jayson and Julien left to go back to their house. Ryder and I lingered a while in the airport food court, drinking coffee, and solidifying how we were going to handle telling everyone about our engagement. It was time. There was nothing holding us back anymore. So I took my ring off the necklace and Ryder slipped it back on my finger where it belongs. We’re planning to make an official announcement tomorrow when all the families are here for Christmas dinner, mostly for the Jameson’s benefit since Ryder’s family already knows—but not before I have a chance to talk with Jayson privately first.
Broken Butterfly: Fallen Brook Series: Book 3 Page 29