She blinked. “Uh…hi. What’s going on?”
“We’re celebrating.”
She tipped her head. “Okay. Um…what are we celebrating?” She hadn’t checked her app so she had no idea what today was supposed to celebrate.
“It’s National I’m an Idiot so I’m Groveling for Forgiveness Day.”
Air left her lungs in a rush, her throat thickening. “Ah.” She took a few steps farther into the apartment. “That sounds like something we should both be observing.”
He smiled….so beautiful, his sculpted lips curving upward. “I thought so.”
“So…what do we eat and drink to celebrate this important day?”
One corner of his mouth hitched up. “We eat crow.”
She smiled back at him. “Ugh. Doesn’t sound good at all.”
“I don’t think it’s supposed to. That’s the point…it’s hard to swallow. Like being a stupid idiot is hard to swallow.”
“Yeah.” She sucked in a breath and let it out. “I know.”
“We’re also having humble pie.” He gestured at a delicious-looking, golden-crusted pie on the table.
Her eyebrows flew up. “Really? Did you make that?”
“No.” He grimaced.
She grinned.
“I have to warn you—you probably won’t like humble pie the first time you try it. I didn’t. But it kind of grows on you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm. At first it kind of tastes like shit. Then it changes…to not bad…then to sweet.”
“Well, I have news for you.”
“What?”
“I’ve actually already tasted humble pie. More than once.” She blinked rapidly, pressing her fist to her mouth. “But it’s a good reality check and it keeps us grounded.”
“I’m an idiot, Arden.”
She blinked at him again, mouth still covered.
“And I’m sorry. So goddamn sorry. When you came to see me in the hospital…” He looked away briefly. “I was afraid to believe it was true. That you loved me. I was afraid you just felt sorry for me because of the accident, and that’s why you came back.” He met her eyes. “I thought you wanted to be on your own to figure out your life.”
“I thought that too.” She lowered her hand. “I was wrong.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“I love you. And when you said you didn’t feel the same…and you told me I was the one stopping you from proving yourself…fuck.”
Her face burned. “Oh God, Tyler. I’m sorry. I was so wrong.”
“I am an interfering idiot.”
One corner of her mouth lifted.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it. I’m going to do better. Especially with you…if you’ll let me?”
She nodded slowly, her insides quivering, her heart slamming.
He walked toward her, lifting his arms. And then she was there, in his arms, up against him. He held onto her, tilting his head to find her mouth with his in a long, lush, desperate kiss. Her cheek was wet against his and he drew back, using his thumb to brush away the moisture. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I don’t ever want to make you cry again.”
“It’s okay.” She blinked wet eyelashes. “I’m happy crying.”
He kissed her again and she melted into him. Relief floated like bubbles in her veins, joy expanding in her chest.
He lifted his head and they smiled at each other.
“I love you, Tyler. I really, really love you.”
He slid his hand into her hair. “I love you too.”
He brushed his mouth across hers again in a slow, sweet kiss of regret and promise.
She drew back. “Okay, what’s really in the pie?”
He chuckled. “It’s an apple pie. I bought it at the farmers’ market.”
“I love apple pie.” She swiped a hand over one wet cheek.
“And the cocktail of the day is Suck Bang and Blow.”
She choked. “What?”
He nodded seriously and pointed to the blender on the counter. “Yes. Already made.”
“Interesting. Suck Bang and Blow. Hmmm. Let’s try it.”
“Later. The kind of sucking and banging and blowing I want is gonna happen in the bedroom. Right now.” He eased her backward, back down the hall. “I’d pick you up and carry you, but I’m a bit gimped out right now.” He held up the cast.
She laughed. “I can walk.”
In the bedroom, Tyler stopped next to the bed and set about undressing Arden…pulling her T-shirt over her head, unzipping her jeans while she unfastened her bra. She tugged off his T-shirt while he wrestled her snug jeans down her thighs and off, mostly one-handed, then he undid his own jeans. Looser, they dropped to the floor and he kicked them aside, then spun Arden around and fell to his back on his bed, pulling her down on top of him. He cupped her face with one hand and kissed her, trying to pour all he could into the kiss, all the emotion he felt for her, trying to show her how he felt.
She kissed him back, her mouth opening to him, her tongue stroking his. He kissed her again, bit softly at her lips, sucked her tongue into his mouth, and her hips moved against him in a needy rhythm. The soft sounds she made in the back of her throat inflamed his senses.
He kissed her over and over, tongues sliding, lips gliding, then he rolled her to her back, mouths still joined, so he could slide one hand up her body and cup one of her sweet breasts. Oh yeah…it filled his hand perfectly, so damn sweet.
She opened her thighs and he fit himself there between them. She shifted beneath him, arching her back, her fingers sliding into his hair and scraping across his scalp. Hot sizzles cascaded over his skin. He growled and sucked at the soft skin on the side of her neck.
Her moan filled his head, urging him on. He wanted her so bad, but he wanted to make her feel good. This was important. This was…everything.
He lifted his head to peer down at her, and she gazed back at him, her expression full of wonder and love. He took his weight on his elbows, arms beside her head on the pillow, hands in her hair.
Her hands lifted to his head, his face, a sweet smile curving her lips, and he swallowed hard at the love and respect and devotion he saw there. “I love you, Arden.”
She caressed his hair and his rough cheek, and he turned his mouth into her palm and kissed it, closing his eyes.
“I love you too.”
“Arden.” He looked at her and her eyes focused on him. “I know you think you need to prove yourself. But you don’t to me. I love you for who you are…I always have. I know I tease you about being a princess…the prom queen…but it’s because I worship you. I want to spend the rest of my life worshipping you.”
Her eyes went glossy and she blinked fast. “Thank you.” Her gaze held his, her words too like a vow, a promise. “I feel the same about you. I want to worship you too. I love your courage, your honor. I love how you take care of people, and even though it made me crazy, I loved how you took care of me.”
“It bugged you. I know I can be overprotective. I tried to pull back so I wouldn’t smother you. I stopped walking you home from work because I knew how important it was for you to be independent. Even though I worried about you.”
“I know.” Her bottom lip quivered. “And I love that too.”
“I promise to stop trying to rescue everyone all the time and just be smart about it. I’ve been thinking a lot about it since you left.”
“I love that you care about people,” she said. “But yes, sometimes you can overstep.”
They’d done away with condoms weeks ago, thank God, so nothing was between them when she raised her knees, her hands resting on his shoulders, and he pushed inside her, a long glide of exquisite pleasure. Heat rushed through his body, emotions swirling inside him, pressure building. Their eyes connected as they moved together and he filled her again and again, lost in her, lost in love with her.
She moved beneath him, seductive and soft and welcoming, fingers playing
across his shoulders. “Oh,” she sighed. “Oh my God, Tyler...”
“You’re so beautiful, Arden. You glow…like the sun. I just want to be in your light…always.”
“Oh…”
He changed his position and she lifted her knees higher. She whimpered as he hit the right spot and they rocked together, heat building, her eyes glazing, small sighs squeezing from her throat. She cried out as her body tightened around him, pulsing. A pink flush rose over her cheeks, her teeth sinking into that lush bottom lip.
“Beautiful.” He kissed her mouth, her cheek, sensation burning and twisting inside him. He pushed into her one last time and stayed there as he finished in an explosion of heat and light, pouring himself into her literally and figuratively. He made a rough, low sound, his hand tightening in her hair, then dropped his forehead to the pillow beside her. His lungs strained, his muscles quivered.
She still pulsed around him in small ripples that nearly sent him over again. “Christ, Arden. Jesus Christ.”
“I love you.” She kissed his shoulder. “I love you so much. And I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m sorry too. Fuck.” He was still trying to breathe.
“You also need to apologize for lying to me.”
“What?” His head lifted to glare at her.
“You told me you didn’t want a relationship.”
“Oh. Uh. Yeah.” He sank his teeth into his bottom lip. “Yeah, that was kind of a lie.”
She pursed her lips. “And…?”
“And I’m sorry. Sort of.” He hesitated. “The truth is…I’ve loved you forever, Arden.”
She stared at him, her lips quivering. “Wh-what?”
“I guess it was more of a crush when we were younger, but…hell, I’ve loved you since I was fourteen years old. Getting to know you better now, as adults, it became so much more than a teenage crush.”
“Oh. Oh, Tyler.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes bright. “I didn’t know that.”
“Didn’t you?” He smiled wryly and brushed her hair back. “Jamie figured it out.”
“Did he? Wow. He’s pretty clueless about stuff like that.”
Tyler snorted. “I guess I didn’t hide it very well.”
His pounding heart slower now, he shifted off Arden, keeping her close against him.
“Ouch!”
“Sorry, sorry.” He’d bashed her with his cast.
“Are you okay?” She tipped her face up to him, concern etching a notch between her eyebrows. “You’re the one with the broken arm.”
“I’m okay. Damn this thing.”
“It’ll heal. Right?”
“Yeah, it’ll heal.” He got the covers arranged over them, tucking them in around Arden’s beautiful naked body.
“Are you feeling better? I didn’t even ask earlier.”
“Much better. Still some headaches, but I can handle that. I’m only taking Advil now, not the narcotics, so that’s better too.”
“Oh, good.” She made a small noise. “I was so worried about you.” Her voice wobbled.
“I know.” He stroked a hand down her smooth back and curved it over her ass. “I’m sorry. “My mom freaked out about the accident.”
“Well, yeah, I guess she would. We all did. Jamie and Mila…even Emma. And Sorcha and Liam.”
“Turns out that’s why she doesn’t want me to be a firefighter.”
“Hmm?” She gave him a puzzled look. “Because she’s afraid you’ll get hurt?”
“Yeah. She just about lost it. Because, you know…what happened to Tara. And then Dad dying. I’m all she has left.”
“Oh God.” Her eyes widened. “I see.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I felt so bad…for putting her through that.”
“I understand how she feels,” she said softly. “Because we both love you. I know that feeling…wanting you to be safe and happy, always. But life isn’t like that.”
“Jamie and Mila freaked out too.”
“Because they care about you too.”
Regret squeezed his lungs. He tried to make light of it. “Jamie damn near passed out in the hospital. I mean, he’s my friend, but I didn’t know he was such a wuss.”
She gave his shoulder a light smack. “I guess I can’t give him grief about that, since I nearly fainted too. But like I said, he cares about you.”
“I hate that I scared the shit out of everyone.”
“There are no guarantees in life,” she said softly. She reached out to cup his cheek. “I know that, now. You love someone for who they are, and that’s all you can do. I just wish…I should have been here for you when it happened. I hate that I wasn’t. I’ll never do that again.”
He covered her hand with his and held it there, loving her gentle touch.
“We can be here for each other now. And for always. In all the ways we can. I know there are risks in your job…but it’s who you are, and I want you to be happy.”
“You said that before. When you were trying to get me to go out with Sorcha.”
“Yeah, don’t even think of it, dude.”
He grinned. “I wasn’t, believe me.”
She sniffed. “I was trying to be noble. If we couldn’t be together, I would want you to be happy with someone. I wouldn’t really like it,” she admitted. “But I do want you to be happy. I want you to do the job you love. I want you to move up in the fire department and maybe someday be running it.”
He smiled.
“And I know your mom has to feel the same. Because she loves you too.”
His chest filled with emotion, he stared back at her. “I love you.”
She smiled. “I love you too.”
“I love you for celebrating daiquiris and ice cream. And for baking me muffins. And for giving me blow jobs.”
She let out a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob. “And I love you for walking me home at night and loving my muffins—”
“That sounds dirty.”
She swatted at him. “That wasn’t a euphemism. But hell…I’ll just say it—I love you for loving my jay-jay.”
“I really do.”
“I may not know where I’m going,” she said more seriously. “But I want to figure it out with you. Loving you doesn’t have to stop me from figuring it out.”
“That’s exactly right.” He pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. “I want to help you figure it out. Not stop you. It fucking hurt when you said it was my fault that you couldn’t do that.”
“I know.” Her voice wobbled. “I’m so sorry. I was wrong. It wasn’t you. It was me. And you knew it. You knew I wasn’t being honest with myself. And now I know…God, Tyler, you make me better. Without you…” She stopped, choking up.
He shook his head slowly. “Without me, you’d be fine. Because like I’ve told you…you’re smart and strong. But together…we can be more than fine. We can be fucking fantastic.”
The corners of her mouth lifted. “I want to be there for you too,” she said earnestly. “While you make your mom proud of you and move up in the fire department. None of us have it all figured out, but maybe we’re not supposed to. It’s the journey where we learn the things that help us grow and prepare us for the destination…even if we’re not sure what the destination is. Even if it changes along the way. If life is a journey…I want to take the journey with you.”
He gathered her back into his arms. “Yeah. Hell yeah. Let’s do it. Together.”
Epilogue
“I guess I need a new wing man.” Jamie morosely regarded Tyler. “Seems like you’re out of the running now.”
Arden laughed.
They were all seated around the fireplace at Shenanigans. Arden was working but was taking her break for a few minutes, leaning against Tyler’s chair. Jamie, Mila, and Danny were there too. They were celebrating Tyler’s promotion, informally since Arden was working. She and Tyler would celebrate properly some other night.
Evan Crenshaw had been off on leave
since the fire where they’d found the body, getting treatment for PTSD. Tyler had been commended for how he’d taken control and had gotten Evan out of that house. There were times when his need to fix things was definitely a benefit.
Tyler was sympathetic to the guy, and felt a little guilty about being promoted ahead of him, even though he knew he was a better candidate than Evan. This wasn’t how he’d wanted it to happen.
“I’ll be your wing man,” Mila offered. “I’m single now.”
“You can’t be my wing man.” Jamie frowned.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not a man.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Mila wrinkled her nose at him as she sipped her cocktail. “I’ll have you know I can wing as well as any man.”
Everyone else laughed.
“No,” Jamie said patiently. “The idea of a wing man is to help keep the target girl’s friend occupied.”
“I can do that. I can strike up a conversation with a couple of women. In fact, it might work better than another man. Less threatening.” She paused. “What the hell am I even saying? This is totally obnoxious. Women aren’t ‘targets.’ That’s disgusting and predatory.”
“Well, that’s settled then,” Jamie said dryly.
Arden shook her head. “I think Mila’s the one who needs a wing man.”
Mila eyebrows rose. “It’s predatory whichever gender is doing it.”
“True. But you said you want to meet guys and have meaningless sex.”
“I did.” Mila tapped her chin and narrowed her eyes at Jamie. “Oh, hey, she’s right. You totally could help me with that.”
Jamie choked. “What? Me? How?”
Arden felt Tyler’s big body vibrating with suppressed laughter.
“We could go out together,” Mila said. “Just as friends, you know. Which we are. Friends. We could help each other meet other people. I’m not looking for a boyfriend anymore. I just want some action. But I’m not very good at it. You can teach me how to do that, since you’re an expert.”
Firecracker: A contemporary romance Page 29