There was a pause and Connor could almost see her thinking about it. It made him feel unexpectedly anxious, not knowing what she might decide and risking that what she did decide was to no longer be Connor’s fake soulmate.
“I don’t want to back out,” Ashley said and Connor almost gave an audible sigh of relief. “Did you mean what you said? About how you... like being around me because I’m funny and smart? Because I explain things and don’t make you feel stupid?”
The question surprised him, and Connor did look up at Ashley then. “Of course I meant it,” he answered. He wasn’t smart enough to tell a lie that convincing, he was sure. He didn’t say that . “You explained this without making me feel stupid,” Connor added, gesturing between them. Connor had felt his lack of intelligence, but it wasn’t because of anything Ashley had said.
“You explained not to speak for you. None of my other girlfriends have ever said that.” He gave Ashley a look, one that meant to communicate he doubted it was because they hadn’t ever felt as Ashley felt.
“Well, maybe you should’ve tried a fake girlfriend before,” she teased, giving Connor a grin. The way she smiled made him want to smile back. “It’s nice,” Ashley added after a moment, sounding more serious.
“It’s nice that I can make you feel like that.” There was a definite genuineness in her tone and it made Connor’s stomach flip. “I don’t think you’re stupid, and clarifying things is hardly a challenge.” There she paused. “Normally,” Ashley corrected. “I’m sorry for being snappy with you yesterday.”
“Maybe it’s not a challenge to you ,” Connor said, with a shrug. He had definitely met people who made him feel stupid. He was quite sure, even from as little as he’d seen of her, that Payton would’ve been one of them. Ashley was different, she made Connor feel different -
And those weren’t thoughts Connor could let himself have. He’d already risked ruining this charade once by being thoughtless. He couldn’t risk it again by letting his feelings run away with him. Ashley was smart and funny, and she made Connor feel good, most of the time, but only as a friend , and a fake soulmate.
“What have your other boyfriends been like?” Connor asked. He had a feeling the answer wasn’t going to be ‘hockey players’.
Ashley seemed a little surprised by his question but if she didn’t want to answer it, it didn’t show. “Liberal, political,” she shrugged. “I’ve never dated a professional athlete,” she said with a grin. “But then I’ve never fake-dated anyone at all.” Because yeah, Connor wasn’t actually her boyfriend. That was something he had to remind himself of.
“None of them really thought I was funny or good at explaining things. And all of them thought I was too bossy.” There was almost a sort of sadness in her tone at that before Ashley shook her head. “I guess some people just hate planning,” she joked.
Connor wanted to say that Ashley’s boyfriends sounded like worse idiots than he was if they hadn’t appreciated her planning things for them. He worried how it would make him sound. He wasn’t political, what right did he have to say they sounded stupid?
“Guess I’m just lazy,” he teased back, finding that far more comfortable. “I’m happy to let you do all the work in this fake-relationship.” He grinned. It wasn’t true that he expected Ashley to do all the work, but he was happy to keep letting her plan their dates - and their media strategy.
“I don’t really know what my girlfriends thought of me,” Connor admitted, with a frown. “Mostly they just didn’t want to come second to hockey.” Connor couldn’t really blame them for that. It was something plenty of his teammates struggled with as well. “Nilssy’s about the only one of us who manages to have a girlfriend and a career,” he said, with a shrug.
“Maybe I just get it more because I also want to make a career for myself,” Ashley said. “You know how I mentioned the job in Dallas? It’s a great opportunity for me, so I totally get how important your job is to you.” And perhaps hockey wasn’t quite the same as PR, but Connor could understand the wish to do well in his profession. It did, however, also remind him that Ashley would leave in a few months’ time.
“What’s the job?” he asked. He didn’t really know how PR worked, at least not outside of hockey. “Will you specialize in a certain kind of celebrity? I assume it’s a bit different working with the sports reporters than the more mainstream ones.” Connor did know that sports journalists tended to work exclusively on sports for their whole career. In some cases, they never wrote about anything except their sport of choice.
Ashley laughed at his observation but did also nod. “It’s a bit different,” she agreed. “There are similarities. I don’t want to specialize in working with celebrities, I want to work with brands.” That did seem different than working with a celebrity, but again, Connor didn’t really know much about it to judge.
“What about you? Did you ever think about how you might do anything but hockey or was it always going to be this? The NHL? That’s a huge achievement, right?”
Connor beamed. It was a huge achievement, and he was proud to have made it, prouder still that he was on a team as good and as successful as the Howlers. “I’d have given up anything to play hockey,” he said. “I know that isn’t always enough, but I got lucky.” Connor had friends who hadn’t been so fortunate, and it wasn’t because they’d wanted it any less than he had, or trained any less hard.
“You’re more than just lucky,” Ashley pointed out. At Connor’s confused look she shrugged. “I read up on you, the sports journalists are very flattering about your gameplay.” It seemed somehow sweet that Ashley had done that, even if it was probably only for PR reasons.
Realizing he was still holding Ashley’s hand, Connor slowly let go, rubbing his fingers awkwardly against the denim of his pants. “I never counted on it, not until the ink dried on the contract. Mom always said I would do well, but -” The silence stretched on as Ashley gave him time to consider whether he wanted to keep talking. “She’s very optimistic,” he finally settled on. “And I love her, but sometimes… it’s a bit much.”
“A bit much because she’s so optimistic?” Ashley asked. It was clear that she was a little confused by what Connor meant. From the very little they’d spoken about Ashley’s family, Connor got the impression that her parents were somewhat different from his own.
Connor nodded, taking the time to try to find the right words to explain. “She’s not always… realistic,” he said, and then gave a chuckle. “She doesn’t plan things - at least, she doesn’t plan for anything going wrong.”
It was, Connor felt sure, different from Ashley, who seemed very able to consider what might go wrong, and have an idea of how to deal with it. I f the look on her face was any indication, Ashley found the concept of not planning terrifying.
“When it came to hockey, she was so sure I’d get signed, she didn’t ever think it worth me making a back-up plan.” Feeling he was doing his mom an injustice, Connor hurried on, “I love that. Now that I have signed, she couldn’t be more supportive if she tried. When it was all still uncertain, I didn’t really feel I could talk to her about what I’d do if I couldn’t make it in hockey.”
Ashley nodded as if she understood what Connor meant and it felt... it felt like she did. There was just something about being able to tell her this, so easily and openly. “It’s definitely sweet that she believes in you so much,” Ashley nodded. “And it seems like she’s right to, too.” Her tone was slightly more teasing there, but somehow Connor also didn’t doubt that she meant it .
“What about your dad? Is he as supportive?” Ashley asked.
Connor snorted a laugh, unable to help it at the idea of his dad being supportive. His dad barely seemed to follow what his kids were up to. “No,” Connor answered decidedly, and then wished he hadn’t. He didn’t talk about his dad much. He had nothing positive to say, but it didn’t feel fair to talk badly of him.
“It was from him I learned not to assume everything wo
uld work out how I wanted,” he offered. That was giving Alex Lewis too much credit, but Connor would rather that than give him too little. “Not that he had much interest in back-up plans, but he didn’t just assume the best, either.”
Preferring to talk about almost anything else, Connor cast back into the conversation. “Why brands, rather than celebrities?” he asked. He was positive Ashley would’ve thought about it and would have a reason - even if it wasn’t necessarily a reason Connor could understand without explanation.
If Ashley noticed the way Connor changed the conversation - and she probably did because Connor had learned that she was very perceptive - she didn’t comment on it. Instead, Ashley just shifted to get more comfortable on the sofa and then answered Connor’s question.
“Celebrities are just brands,” Ashley pointed out. At Connor’s frown, she proceeded to explain. “It’s all about how you sell something. I find it fascinating how all decisions are pre-thought. How things are marketed is a lot about knowing your audience. Brands appeal to a wider subsection. So like... more different people need to like it, you know? Celebrities have more of a narrow audience.”
While it definitely wasn’t something that Connor had ever thought about, he enjoyed listening to Ashley. She just looked so animated , her whole body seeming to light up from the inside. It was, Connor thought, the same way a lot of the team looked when they talked about hockey. With them, Connor didn’t find it sexy , and on Ashley he really was.
“So is a narrow audience easier, or harder?” he asked. He couldn’t quite tell from Ashley’s description. It seemed like it could go either way. He did smirk slightly, and add, “If I were a betting man, I’d say a broader audience is harder. I have a feeling you want your work to challenge you.”
“Yes,” Ashley nodded and there was just a touch of blush in her cheeks which somehow made her look even sexier. “Broader audiences can be harder because you still need to divide it and find core values that are similar,” she explained.
She gave Connor a grin then. “This is... nice. I wouldn’t really have expected you to…” Whatever was going to follow that, Ashley paused. “Be interested,” she finished. Connor didn’t know if that was what she originally was going to say but it still seemed like a good thing.
It made Connor wonder who, in Ashley’s life, hadn’t been interested. He felt almost annoyed with whoever it had been. He didn’t say so. He worried it would count as speaking for - or feeling for - Ashley. Besides, as her fake-boyfriend, he wasn’t sure it was his place. “It’s interesting,” he said, with a small shrug. “I don’t know if I really understand it.” It was unlikely Connor would, without a degree in it, but equally unlikely that he needed to.
“Are your parents supportive?” he asked, hoping it wasn’t a question Ashley would prefer not to answer. “I know it can be hard on parents when they’ve got kids who need to move around for work.” Naturally, most of the men Connor had played with, or played against, had parents who lived hours and hours from where their children were working.
“Oh yeah, my parents are great,” Ashley said with a wide smile. It was evident that she loved her parents a lot. “They wish I wanted to do something slightly less corporate, but they also want me to do stuff that would excite me.” Ashley definitely had mentioned how liberally-minded they were. Connor took that to mean they were a bit hippy-ish, so not wanting their daughter to work for a corporation made sense.
It struck Connor that he’d never get to meet them to see for himself just how liberal they were. The thought left his chest feeling strangely hollow, and it took him a moment to realize Ashley was waiting for him to say more. “Sorry,” he said, giving her an easy smile. “I just realized how much of your time I’ve taken up.” He really had only intended to stop by to apologize, maybe hash their disagreement out. He hadn’t expected it to turn into a long conversation.
“I should probably get going,” he said. He thought Ashley looked a little disappointed, but surely she must have her own life to be getting on with? She hadn’t planned to spend the day with him today. “I’m glad we sorted things out,” he said, genuinely pleased that Ashley was still going to be a feature in his life. For a little while, at least.
The disappointed look gave way to a soft smile and Ashley nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She got up to walk Connor to the door. “You’ve got a game tomorrow, right? I’ll make sure to be in the audience.” There was something very nice at knowing she’d be there and Connor smiled at that.
“Good luck,” Ashley said and before Connor left she tiptoed to press a kiss against his cheek.
Somehow, it really felt like it’d bring him luck.
Ashley’s kiss seemed to work. Not only did the Howlers’ win the game, but Connor scored twice in quick succession. When Connor teasingly asked Ashley for a repeat before their next game, she agreed.
Connor wasn’t counting, but there had since been ten good-luck kisses, not to mention a handful of good-luck phone calls when Connor had to be away for games. The Howlers’ didn’t always win, and Connor didn’t always score, but neither of them had suggested that the kisses should stop .
Connor usually liked away games. He enjoyed getting out of Madison, even if it was only to see a different ice rink and maybe a bar, or a burger joint. This season, Connor found himself almost impatient to get home. He wished he could’ve swept Ashley away somewhere with him, just to hear what she’d have to say about the scenery or the game, but she had a job, and she had a final thesis to finish. Connor left her in peace, apart from spamming her phone with pictures of adverts that caught his eye.
The team teased him, pointing out how he’d never sent pictures to his girlfriends before. It must be a soulmate thing, they claimed, that Connor could miss Ashley so much, even when he was only gone for a few nights. Every time they said it, Connor felt as if they’d thrown cold water over him, because Ashley wasn’t his soulmate. Even if she had been, she wouldn’t have wanted to be.
He was selfishly glad to be back, and to have the gala as a good enough excuse to keep Ashley from her work for one evening. It was lucky that he’d asked Ashley if she could dance because his own ability not to look like a fool on the dance floor relied on him having a competent partner. Ballroom dancing wasn’t something Connor had ever realized hockey would require of him. No matter how many annual galas he attempted, he could never feel as graceful as he did on the ice.
Ashley had asked what she should wear. When Connor’s answer to that had proved insufficient, she had told him to put her in touch with Nilssy’s girlfriend. Connor had been grateful Ashley didn’t expect him to go shopping with her. She’d sent a picture of her dress and, teasingly, told Connor not to wear anything that would clash. The instructions to pick her up at her house, with enough time to allow for traffic, had been a lot less playful.
The photo of the dress on the hanger had not, in any way, prepared Connor for how Ashley would look in it. The layer of sheer lace over some fabric that exactly matched Ashley’s tan made it look almost as though she wasn’t wearing anything more than some strategically scattered flowers. A neckline that dipped all the way to the band clinging to the curve of Ashley’s waist left enough bare skin between her breasts that Connor could only think about putting his mouth there, sucking his marks into her skin.
Connor was still staring when Ashley came up to him, tiptoeing to brush a kiss against his cheek. Connor’s hand settled immediately on her hip, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her close, and to lose himself in the scent of her skin and her hair.
“Wow,” he managed to say when Ashley stepped back a pace. “You look amazing.”
“Thank you,” Ashley smiled. It did nothing to make Connor less attracted to her. She ran her hand over her side, but there wasn’t any sort of shyness. She knew she looked great in the dress. There was something very attractive about that, too. “You look perfectly acceptable, I suppose,” she added but there was a tone of teasing.
When Connor pro
ceeded to just stand there - too distracted by Ashley - she gave him a small nudge with her shoulder. “So, are we going to this gala or just standing here all dressed up?”
Connor felt his face flush. He hoped he covered it by offering Ashley his arm. “Of course,” he agreed. Helping her to the car, he held the door for her the way his mom had taught him before his first-ever formal dance.
Focusing on the road, Connor could almost forget just how good Ashley looked. He’d get a glimpse of her every so often, especially when she laughed, or when she updated him on how her thesis was going. She looked so intense , in a way that made her dress seem even more feminine and alluring.
Connor had been prepared for the photographers, and he smiled his best smile as he helped Ashley out of the car. “Ashley! Ashley!” The press crowded around them, and Connor was glad to have an arm around Ashley’s waist. “Can we see your soulmark?” someone asked her. Connor tensed, resisting the urge to pull Ashley away. She could speak for herself. If she wanted them to hurry inside, Connor could make that happen.
“No,” Ashley replied almost bluntly and it surprised Connor a little. She usually wore her soulmark so openly. It was only then, really, that he noticed the carefully placed sticker. “And you should know better than to ask,” she pointed out. The journalist genuinely looked a little embarrassed at being called out on it. It wasn’t untrue . It was exceptionally rude to ask, but plenty of journalists (and fans) still did.
When Ashley told him that they had posed for enough pictures, Connor led them inside. Ashley turned to say more to him about the soulmark. “They know it’s there,” she said, because yes, there were plenty of tabloid or fan pictures where you could make out Ashley’s soulmark. “But I didn’t want it to draw attention away from the cause tonight. Or from you.”
Something about Ashley’s voice made Connor feel warm, all the way to his core. She’d really thought about it, not just from the perspective of what would make good PR; she’d thought about him . Connor had to fight a sudden instinct to pull her into his arms and kiss her.
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