Halfway to the destination, they bumped into a horde of Minions. In head-to-toe yellow and with an average height well above six feet, they were easy to spot. Less easy was for Haley and Alice to identify their respective boyfriends. When they did, they couldn’t help but laugh. Scott and Jack were silly adorable in their yellow onesies with big, round, fake eye goggles on top of their heads.
Scott kissed her and frowned at her sweatshirt. “What are you supposed to be?”
Madison pushed past them, muttering, “Told you no one was going to get it.”
“We’re The Chipmunks,” Haley explained, and she turned around to point at the big “A” on her back. “I’m Alvin, Madison is Simon, and Alice is Theodore.”
“Oh, I get it now. Shouldn’t you girls be speaking in shrill little voices?”
Haley obliged him, trying to make a good impression of that I-just-inhaled-helium-from-a-balloon little voice. “I can talk like this all night if you want.”
“Nope, just kidding. Your usual voice will do just fine.” He offered her his elbow. “Shall we?”
Chipmunks and Minions made their way to the house together and, since there were so many of them, they had to queue at the entrance and enter in smaller groups of two or three. Haley was impatient to get in, but just a few minutes after reaching the back of the living room, the main party area, the walls were pressing in on her.
The atmosphere inside the house was suffocating in comparison to the crisp air outside. With the party already in full swing, throngs of boys and girls were drinking, sweating, and dancing body-to-body to the hard beats of the loud music blasting from a set of giant speakers positioned on either side of the fireplace. It wasn’t just the volume of the music that felt oppressive; whoever was in charge of the playlist had gone full horror on them, and was spinning one dark, violent tune after the other.
Also, the lights were all off, the only illumination coming from a thousand fake candles scattered all over and a few fairy lights strung over doorways and around the fireplace. Still, the scarce light produced long and gloomy shadows on the walls, made even spookier by the great number of party-goers clad in blood-splattered, grotesque costumes who had taken Halloween too literally. Not to mention the many hooded figures hovering around.
Haley shivered despite the heat. Oh, please, she was being silly. It was Halloween. Costumes were supposed to be gruesome, and as for the stale air, they just needed to open a window or two. She tackled the closest one, relishing the fresh intake of cool air. But she couldn’t spend the night breathing out of a window, so she beckoned Scott to follow her out of the living room and into the somewhat less crazy kitchen area. A cool beer was what she needed.
Haley almost chugged the whole cup in one sip, and refilled from the keg, needing more.
What’s wrong with me?
Something about tonight didn’t sit right with her. Same as in horror movies when the innocent sorority girl doesn’t realize the killer is watching her, and she’s about to die.
Mmm, hello? No one’s going to murder you. I promise, Haley’s inner self chided.
Yeah right, no need to stress.
Haley took another sip of beer and followed Scott back into the living room. She searched the walls for another window to open… and froze.
Deep in the shadows, passing behind the dancing crowd, a mask caught her eye. Black and full-faced, with only holes for the eyes and a triangular opening at the bottom for the mouth and chin. The mask looked as expensive as Haley remembered it, with its silver beading, black feathers, and a surface so smooth it appeared to be made of the finest porcelain.
When Haley’s eyes met with the blue ones peering out of the black mask, the throbbing beat of blood in her body sped up. Her throat clenched, making absorbing the scarce oxygen in the room all the more difficult. The temperature inside seemed to grow even warmer, making it impossible for Haley to breathe. Or move at all. She was only able to stare into David’s eyes as he approached the patio doors, moving behind the mass of sweaty party-goers swaying in rhythm with the music—vampire girls dancing sexily with each other, witches grinding against their zombie partners, and all kinds of monsters throwing their hands in the air.
The black tux costume bestowed on David an eerie glamour, like a modern-day vampire prince, making the boy behind the mask even more handsomely wicked. Stopping by the French windows, he fixed the feathered and jeweled mask on his face and bowed his head in a barely perceptible nod.
Palpitations, followed by sweaty palms and a light head, were Haley’s first response to the sight of David wearing the mask. The unexpected appearance of a ghost from her past was too much. She was reacting in ways she didn’t like, but couldn’t ignore. He had power over her; Haley could no longer deny it. But she could choose not to act on it.
Feeling as guilty as if she’d done something wrong, she stared up at Scott. He seemed unaware that his brother had joined the party. He just stood there peacefully sipping his beer and nodding his head in time with the awful music.
Haley stared back at David. He was now leaning against the wall next to the patio doors, regarding her with a satisfied little smirk that seemed to say, “The ball’s in your park.”
“Hey, Scott.” Matt’s voice made her turn again. “I need a teammate for beer pong. You in?”
Scott looked down at her. “Do you mind?”
“No, not at all. Go ahead.”
The timing was perfect. While Scott played, she could go discreetly kill his brother. With all the fake blood around, no one would notice. Tonight, she could get away with murder.
“You’re not coming to cheer?” Scott asked her.
“No, actually, I need a breath of fresh air.”
Scott kissed her and followed Matt toward the beer pong table in the farthest corner of the room opposite to the patio doors. How convenient. Haley waited until they were a few throws into the game and completely absorbed by it, before marching toward David.
“What the hell?” she said without preamble, shoving him against the wall with both hands.
“Whoa-oh, calm down.” He smirked under the mask. “I like it feisty, but I have my limits. Should we pick a safe word first?”
“David, cut the crap!” she yelled, part out of frustration and part to be heard over the deafening music. “You disappear for two months and then you show up like this?”
“Like what?” he asked, infuriatingly calm.
“Wearing the same mask you had on the night we met.”
“Oh, you mean this little trinket.” He readjusted the elastic behind his head. “This was expensive. It’s good economy to wear it more than once.”
“Why here? Why tonight?”
“It’s Halloween, in case you haven’t noticed. Masks are all the rage.”
He was being impossible, and the music, the heat, the artificial fog…
“I need some air,” Haley said. She slid the patio door open and walked out. “Do not follow me,” she ordered, slamming the door in his face.
Not two steps out, and she heard the door slid open again. Without turning, Haley walked to the railing and gripped it with both hands. Soon someone was standing right behind her.
“Why shouldn’t I follow you?” David whispered, his mouth close to her ear, so that Haley could feel his breath blow softly down her neck.
“I’m in love with your brother,” she said, sounding rather desperate.
“So you are,” David said—angry, merciless.
Haley wriggled sideways and turned around to face him. Bad move. He was the exact replica of the boy she’d fallen in love with that night at the masquerade. Because he was the boy of the masquerade. Only now he was so much more.
Her head spun with memories from the summer ball. The flirting, the dancing, and David kissing her. The touch of his lips on hers, his arms wrapping around her body—
No. No. No. A walk down memory lane wasn’t a wise choice. Right now she ne
eded to get out of this conversation and go find Scott.
“You can’t keep doing this,” she said, in what she hoped was a composed, rational voice. “You keep going hot and cold on me. First we’re friends, then we’re not, and then you pull a stunt like this. What do you want?”
“I keep going hot and cold?” he hissed. “I don’t think so. I only came to a Halloween party wearing a mask—”
“Stop lying!” Haley yelled.
“You stop lying!” David shouted back. He took a step forward, grabbing her by the shoulders. Eyes locked on hers, he hissed, “What do you want?”
He was too close, and Haley’s chest heaved. She was dangerously close to tears, and the few beers she’d had were enough to make her too damn emotional to answer that question.
“Is everything all right here?” Scott’s voice interrupted.
Haley’s eyes snapped to him, hoping darkness and the whiskers painted on her face would help conceal how upset she was.
“Yeah,” she said, trying to master a normal tone and shrugging free of David. “I was just going to come look for you. Did you win the game?”
Scott didn’t appear convinced, even less so when David spun around and greeted him. “Hello, brother. Nice gear,” he said, eyeing the Minion costume sarcastically.
“David.”
Scott seemed confused. After the accident at the pool, and the way David had taken care of him in the following weeks, he wasn’t so quick to get angry with his brother. But now Scott was staring between his girlfriend and his brother with a deep, worried frown.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” he finally said.
David shrugged. “Oh, you know. This is the only half-decent party near campus. I’d better get back inside before all the pretty girls are taken.” He sent a pointed look Haley’s way.
She watched him move back inside and braced herself for the inevitable questions, but Scott only asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just so stuffy inside.”
“Not anymore. They’ve opened all the windows. I was coming to open the patio door as well when I saw you out here… The situation seemed tense.”
“Not really, just—”
“There you are.” Madison barged through the now-open doors, interrupting her. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. We’re playing girls versus boys. You have to come now or we’ll lose the table.”
Haley shrugged and looked up at Scott, “Do you mind?”
“No.” He forced a smile, clearly not happy their conversation had to stop. “Who’s on the boys’ team?” he asked Madison.
“You, Jack, and Matt. Come on, you two, hurry up.” Madison beckoned them inside and, without waiting to check if they were following her, she pushed her way back toward the beer pong table.
Haley plastered a smile on her face. “Come on, she’ll kill us if we don’t get there in two seconds.”
Scott stared at her for a moment longer, his expression seemingly saying, “This conversation isn’t over.”
She nodded in acknowledgment and went back into the house where, with all the windows open, the air was breathable again and not faint-inducing. Eager to have an excuse to drink more and not have to explain the whole David-in-the-black-mask situation to Scott, Haley joined Alice and Madison at their end of the table, yelling, “Ladies throw first!”
Eleven
Haley
“You’re upset,” Scott said—a statement, not a question.
Ah, so he hasn’t forgotten, Haley thought ruefully.
They’d been walking in silence toward her house for a good ten minutes now, and after an entire night of drinking and partying with no mention of the David Factor, Haley had hoped Scott had dropped the topic for good.
Apparently not.
“I’m not upset,” Haley said, keeping her eyes on the concrete.
“Okay, but you were before when you were talking to David. Why?”
Different brother, same annoying questions.
“It was nothing, Scott, let it go.”
Scott stopped, but Haley pretended not to notice and kept walking to see if he’d follow her. He didn’t, so she had no other choice than to stop and turn to face him. “You really want to do this now, at two in the morning, while we’re freezing our asses off in the middle of the street?”
“I don’t know, Haley,” he said, his features so serious that not even the Minion costume could infuse humor into the situation. “What is it we’re doing?”
“Discussing your brother, again.”
“Well, there’d be no need to discuss my brother again if I hadn’t found you talking to him with the face of someone whose cat just died. And don’t tell me it was nothing because I’m not an idiot.”
“It was that stupid mask, okay? Are you happy now?”
“What mask? What’s wrong with the mask?”
Haley stared at the ground. “It was the same one he was wearing the night we met.”
“And by the night you met,” Scott said in such a tense, cold, un-Scott voice that Haley had to look up at him. He was speaking through clenched teeth, his jaw tense. “What you really meant is the night you kissed him.”
“What do you want me to say? I can’t cancel the past.”
“I’m not worried about the past.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look at you. My brother shows up wearing a stupid mask, and you get upset, then pretend nothing has happened all night—nice act, by the way—and finally, when I ask you about it, you try to bullshit me.”
“I wasn’t bullshitting you, I just thought it wasn’t important.”
“Do you often get so upset about unimportant stuff?”
“Why do you have to make such a big deal about it? David came to the party wearing that mask to provoke me, and it worked. You know how he is; he’s the master at pushing a person’s buttons.”
“No, Haley, he’s a master at pushing your buttons. Can you stop pretending for a second?”
“Pretending to do what?”
Scott studied her for a long moment. “The only thing I can’t tell is if you’re just lying to me, or also to yourself…”
Different brother, definitely same annoying questions.
“Lying about WHAT?” Haley shouted back.
Scott stared at her dead in the eye, and when he spoke next he did so in a tone so calm it bordered on vicious. “Do you have feelings for my brother?”
Haley wanted to say ‘no,’ to shout it. But somehow her throat seemed to have clogged up and her mouth didn’t open. Eyes wide, she could only stare at Scott, unable to speak. They stood like that for an eternity, looking at each other while an unconfessable truth was being shared between them.
Scott’s jaw tightened, and he broke eye contact first. Gaze now fixed on the curb, he said, “Let’s go. I’m walking you home.”
Haley fell into step next to him, not sure what to say, her heart beating as fast as if she’d been running. In the end, she could only come up with a lame, “I’m sorry.”
It came out strangled, and it didn’t convey nearly a tenth of what Haley was feeling.
“It’s my fault,” Scott said. “I went away, and that’s all he needed to weasel his way into your life.”
“Scott, it’s not your fault. Whatever David has over me, it doesn’t matter. Scott, stop.” She placed herself squarely in his path and grabbed him by the shoulders. “I’m in love with you. I chose you, and I choose you every day.”
He gently but firmly shook her off. “See, Haley, the thing is: it shouldn’t have to be a choice. Least of all one you have to make every day.”
“What are you saying?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe you were right. We shouldn’t be having this conversation at two in the morning.”
They walked in silence the rest of the way to her house. In front of her building, she climbed up a step so that
their eyes were level, and asked him if he wanted to come up.
“Not tonight,” he said. “I think I’m just going to walk home and clear my head.”
Haley nodded, close to tears for the second time that evening. Same sadness, different brother.
Haley bent her head, touching her forehead to his. They stayed like that for a long time, until she finally said, “I’ll see you tomorrow and we’ll talk, okay?”
Scott pushed away from her and nodded, before walking away into the cold night.
***
In part because of what had happened with David and Scott, and also thanks to one game too many of beer pong, Haley spent the night tossing and turning in bed. Nightmares of zombies and vampires who alternately assumed the faces of either Scott or David tormented her all night, until she woke up in a pool of sweat.
She showered and ran to Scott’s apartment with her hair still wet, not caring if David was there or not. When Scott opened the door, she threw herself into his arms and kissed him with a desperate passion. Without a word, he scooped her up into his arms and brought her to his bedroom, where they made love with that same desperation. And the physical closeness seemed to cure the argument.
Scott didn’t bring up David anymore, and Haley carefully avoided the topic as well. And if conversation felt stiff and tentative at first, they returned to normal interactions in a couple of days.
So, on the first Thursday of November, five days after the dreadful Halloween party, Haley headed toward Lavietes Pavilion with her roommates to watch the opening basketball game of the season: Harvard versus MIT. A super competitive game between next door neighbor schools. Jack had provided the tickets, and once inside the gym, Alice led them to their seats in the center bleacher only a few rows back from the basketball court.
“I need the restroom,” Alice said as soon as she was out of her coat. “You guys need something from the concession stand?”
I Don't Want to Be Friends Page 9