“No, he won’t,” I agreed. “It doesn’t help that he’s trying to avoid facing the problem.”
“How so?”
I thought about how to best put it. “I think he’s afraid raw animal meat is his last resort, and he doesn’t want to accept losing that. I think it’s safe to say that if Marleen hadn’t almost managed to kill me, with him consequently almost losing it, he would have tried to stave off the inevitable by any means available. That means he likely would have ended up starving himself, and I wouldn’t have caught on to it before it was too late. I don’t mean being too weak to fight. What if something else triggers him and he loses it? I’d hate to do it, but if he converts, I’ll put him down in a heartbeat. What if he’s coming after one of you but manages to not fully turn? Either way, he’s not coming back from that.”
Martinez didn’t look happy about my assessment but didn’t protest its accuracy. “How about this,” he proposed. “I’ll put out a general recommendation that we take some extra time for hunting. Most of the scavengers aren’t in exactly stellar health, and everyone else could benefit from some more protein in their diets. If it prevents another breakfast like we had today, I don’t think anyone will protest. And if we only catch a small rabbit or a handful of fish, Miller has dibs on it. We won’t tell him, and nobody else will think twice if we don’t make a big deal out of it. Should anyone complain about it, I’ll take care of that.”
I couldn’t help but smirk. “Leader gets first dibs? We really aren’t in the army anymore.”
Martinez looked, if anything, annoyed at my remark. “You really spend too much time with that bunch,” he told me in no uncertain terms.
“Yeah? Maybe,” I conceded. “But if I take Hamilton out of the equation, they’re an all right bunch. And I distinctly remember you all being quite happy not to have to shoot any former buddies of yours.”
I realized his ire was focused elsewhere only after Martinez grunted. “If you ignore that your favorite lieutenant is a traitor.”
I didn’t try to disband the annoyance from my voice when I answered. “I’m not sure Richards betrayed us. It seems a lot more likely that Marleen misled him, and then forced him to tag along if he didn’t want her to cut his throat.”
Martinez didn’t seem convinced. “Don’t you think those are your feelings talking?”
“My what?” I didn’t have to feign ignorance there—and a hefty dose of anger.
I got a level stare back that could have meant anything, and was way too accusing for my taste. “You were awfully quick to plaster yourself to his side when we met up to storm the camp,” he pointed out.
“Because it made the most sense to stick with him since we were all fitting in well with the scavengers,” I protested. “And sure, I get along well with him. Also because when Hamilton was doing his very best to be the human incarnation of a massive heap of shit, he acted like a normal human being, and even went out of his way to play nice. Cole and Hill didn’t respect me until after we hit that damn lab, and I don’t think they actually take me seriously. Richards does.” I couldn’t help the frustration coming up inside of me, also because I realized how much all that in juxtaposition with him disappearing grated. “Where’s this even coming from?”
The question was clearly making Martinez uncomfortable. “A few of the scavengers mentioned—”
“Well, they are wrong!” I ground out, a little too emphatically for my own good, as I belatedly realized. Taking a calming breath, I did my best to center myself. “He kind of laid it on a little heavily when we were trying to infiltrate the camp, but trust me when I tell you, he very quickly saw the error of his ways. And don’t you think that Nate would have—quite physically—come after him if he felt himself threatened?” The idea was so ridiculous that it made me want to throw my head back and laugh—except that Martinez appeared, if anything, grim.
“He didn’t look particularly happy whenever he saw you tag along with Richards at the camp,” he let me know.
“Maybe he shouldn’t have stormed off without me everywhere then,” I snarked, getting increasingly furious at everyone involved. “He knows that he has zero reason to feel threatened. And he was more than happy to see me tag along with Richards in Dallas.”
Martinez looked downright disturbed at hearing that. “He let you out of his sight?”
“Pretty much the entire time until the very end,” I explained. “He was way more interested in hanging out with that ass-wipe—as he still does. If I was a little more insecure in our relationship, I’d be concerned, but I guess I should consider myself lucky that I get to spend the nights with him, seeing as otherwise we’d absolutely miss our last chance to unleash our spawn on this world.” I wasn’t exactly seething but close—and that didn’t stop when Martinez broke out in a shit-eating grin, making me realize he’d been leading me on to get a quick, honest answer from me. I glared at him for another second before I crossed my arms over my chest, giving him the “touché” nod that he deserved. “To answer what you actually want to know, no, I don’t think Richards betrayed us, but even if he did, it’s not even in the top five concerns that are plaguing me right now. Do I hate the fact that I misjudged Marleen and thus gave her the golden opportunity to end us all? Yes, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s just one more hitch in the road. I’m not even having nightmares about it, but that’s probably due to my body needing every single moment of rest because of the toll wound healing takes. I think Nate’s way more broken up about the whole thing than I am.”
“I’m sure he is,” Martinez agreed, still smiling slightly. Fucker. His amusement dissipated as he went on. “Have you two talked about this, too?”
“Not much to talk about. But I know it hit him hard.”
“Of course it did,” he remarked, surprised when all he got from me was a neutral stare. “He almost lost you again—and this time it would absolutely have been his fault for trusting the wrong people and giving them the opportunity to get to you.”
“He didn’t seem that disturbed. More suspicious that something else is wrong,” I pointed out—but couldn’t shake off the unease that Martinez was right.
I got a borderline belligerent snort for my troubles. “What isn’t?” But he dropped the point quickly enough. “Just… I don’t know. Part of me wants to tell you not to be a cunt to him about it or the way he keeps acting, but at the same time I don’t get it. If you happen to decide to make a run for Bucky after all, let me know. I’ll make sure you have overwhelming backup for whatever you plan.”
I didn’t miss that he used Hamilton’s much-hated nickname, and the overall sentiment amused me a lot. “Hate to break it to you, but I won’t. Do I hate spending even a single second breathing the same air as he is? Hell, yeah. But Nate is hell-bent on giving him a shot at redemption, and I can’t protest bringing another meat shield along for the ride. If it means we have a slightly better chance of survival, I’m all for it.”
Martinez looked less than happy at my response but accepted it for what it was. “Guess I’d better set to finding some chow for him,” he muttered. “And tell him that if he needs to talk, I’m here.”
“I don’t quite see that happening,” I admitted.
“Me neither,” Martinez said with a heavy sigh. “Same as I know I won’t get a straight answer out of you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I complained. “I’ve been pouring my heart out to you for the past twenty minutes!”
He grimaced. “Keep telling yourself that.” When I kept glaring at him, he sighed again but relented. “You two are so damn similar. It’s no wonder you hit it off from the very start.” I opened my mouth to protest—not quite sure what I was going to say—but he talked right over me. “Sure, on the outside, not so much. But inside you’re a damn near perfect match. You’re like two wolves, only that you started out bundled in fluff, while he long ago learned to be the loner, wrapping himself up in layers of armor. You lost the fluff and wormed yourself throu
gh the cracks in his armor, and what’s underneath is like two sides of the same coin. You understand him like no one else—and the same is true for the reverse. The only difference is that you would be able to walk away from his grave, but he won’t make it long past your death. So make sure to give him a reason to keep hanging in. We’d all miss you both terribly.”
Part of me wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that analogy sounded—except it resonated with something deep inside of me. It was almost as if he’d just put kindling onto the small flicker of hope that kept burning somewhere in the back of my mind—hope that we would, somehow, get through this and not die before we’d made sure to leave the world a better place.
“I will,” I promised—no “try” or “do my best” because nothing short of iron-clad conviction would work, that much I was sure. I hated how that made me feel—like we really were on the last leg of our journey together—but that didn’t diminish my conviction that I would see this through to the very end. If that meant I had to put up with Hamilton, so be it. I knew Nate well enough to understand that he had his reasons.
I also knew him well enough to realize that Martinez’s words also held a hidden warning: to protect me, Nate would try to either push me away or set out on his own, leaving me behind in an attempt to keep me out of harm’s way—and if he succeeded, he would leave himself exposed and vulnerable. I would die before I let that happen.
Martinez inclined his head, sure that his message had been received. “I better get going. Try going easy on yourself for another day, and this should be the last time I need to check on your injuries.” He let out a humorless bark. “Damn, but that level of healing power would have come in handy when I impaled myself on that damn tree.”
“I think Nate’s truly jealous of exactly how well I put myself back together,” I said. “Might annoy him more than the fact that I might have jumped Richards’s bones if all I’d found in the prison cells was a gravestone.”
Martinez snorted. “No, you wouldn’t have. You didn’t even consider it.”
“Of course I didn’t,” I agreed, smiling grimly.
With nothing more to say, I left, checking in with Blake about the watch schedules for the night—and then I went on the lookout for my husband to give Martinez a chance to have a crying, barfing bundle of joy to look out for in the years to come.
Chapter 4
I woke up early the next morning, the sky not even starting to lighten yet. It wasn’t of my own accord, but because Nate—after coming back from his watch shift—was hell-bent on giving me a great start into the day. I was still officially off the watch rotation to maximize my rest, but that didn’t seem to stretch to where a different kind of physical activity was concerned. Something was definitely different about the downright fervor he put behind his attempt to both peel me out of strategic parts of my clothes and kiss and lick along the side of my neck until he had me panting and squealing in no time. His own injuries were definitely healing up well, too, leaving my back the only real hindrance. I was still a little too sluggish with the last dregs of sleep, so rather than me crawling onto his lap, he turned us both on our sides—making sure my weight was on my left—and pushed into me from behind, hands and lips already getting busy again on every inch of me that he could get to. I gave up craning my neck to steal a kiss from him when he seemed reluctant to stop devouring me, although it did earn me a growled, “You taste so damn good.” That made me laugh huskily.
“If you follow that up with a claim that I smell fertile and ripe for the plowing, I’ll kick you in the nuts. After we’re done.”
He eased up for a second to chuckle, which was my chance to twist and grab his head, almost having to force his lips apart with my tongue, but he relented quickly enough when he realized I wasn’t taking no for an answer. Sure enough, underneath the near overpowering scent of mint, I picked up a clear taste of blood, making me guess that Martinez’s plan was already in action. The nasty voice at the back of my head asked itself how healthy it could be that, apparently, slaking one hunger seemed to stoke a different one in Nate, but if that meant I’d get to wake up like this every single day from here on out, I was ready to sacrifice an hour of sleep each night to go hunting myself. While understanding why he’d withdrawn a little from me after we’d taken over the camp, it was only now that I realized how much I’d missed him.
And if the zombie apocalypse had taught us anything, it was how to make the most out of stolen moments like this—and that was exactly what we did.
It was only later, when we were curled up against each other, enjoying a few more moments of comfortable silence together, that I realized something: I’d only smelled the mint on his breath—but I’d absolutely tasted the hint of blood.
My, wasn’t that a sobering thought.
I was still contemplating whether to mention that observation or not when someone knocked on the back window of the car, carefully outside of the range where he might have caught a glance at anything inside. “We have a problem.”
More than happy to postpone that conversation—external or internal—I quickly pulled everything back into place. Nate beat me to it, already exiting the car while I was still busy trying to close my belt without getting up first. It wasn’t hard to guess where he went to since people all over the camp were streaming toward the Humvee that Cole and Hill had taken over. Nate had grudgingly agreed to make it our official radio station since it had by far the best equipment, and neither the tech-savvy scavenger nor Blake’s marine who knew a thing or two about spyware had found anything wrong with it. It also had batteries strong enough to leave the radio on through the night and still power up the next morning.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I pushed through the throng of people, meeting little to no resistance. Hill was in the driver’s seat, Nate standing next to him, listening to Hill trying again to get someone on the line. After another minute he gave up, shaking his head as he glanced down at a handwritten log lying on the dashboard.
“Last confirmed contact was at 0300 and 0320, respectively,” he told Nate.
Looking grim, Nate turned to me to explain. “We lost contact with our California settlement and our vanguard both. They’ve just missed the third consecutive check-in.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Any chance it’s on our end?”
Hill shook his head. “That’s the first thing we checked. We got through to the radio station back at the camp, and both Dispatch and New Angeles told us to go fuck ourselves. Reception’s not perfect, but not problematic. And before you say the cars could be out of battery, that’s true, but the settlement has banks of generators with backups. From what your people told me, they never lost radio contact, not even in the fires and earthquakes.” He nodded at Santos, standing a little to the side—his apparent source for that. Santos looked worried himself, even though he was trying to hide it.
Nate glanced at the maps Hill had spread out next to him. “How far ahead is our vanguard? And how far are they from the coast?”
Hill must have already checked, his answer coming promptly. “They’re three days out of Vegas at the pace they were going, four and a half from the coast. About the same away from us, considering that they can go faster with just three vehicles.”
Nate scratched his chin. “Any chance we can make it to the settlement in under a week?”
Hill shook his head. “Not unless we split up again. If we take the strong cars only and pack them light, we can cut the distance down to two days by the time we blow past Vegas, but that’s already praying that we don’t run into any obstacles.”
“Can you get Harris on the line and ask him to send a small recon team over to our people?” Nate asked. “So we know what we’re barreling into, running blind at full speed.”
“Consider it done,” Hill acknowledged, already fiddling with the radio.
I looked at the faces around us, finding everyone at least slightly worried, even the marines. Sgt. Buehler was the one who asked t
he question that must have been on everyone’s mind. “You think that your traitors caught up to them and took them out?”
Nate hesitated but shook his head. “I know it sounds silly considering how she managed to mislead me, but I know Marleen well enough to be sure she’s not stupid enough to show her face anywhere near Zilinsky or the town. They’re warned, and they know who to look out for. I’m sure she’s on her way back to Decker, or she’s already there. She knows we’ll eventually show up on his doorstep—why bother with coming to us instead?”
Damn, but I hoped he was right, because I wasn’t going to let that bitch walk away alive from this.
“So we split up?” I ventured a guess.
Again, Nate took a moment to consider but then shook his head. “No. If this is a trap, it’s already set, and we’ll need all the manpower we have not to spring it—or survive if that’s unavoidable. We proceed as planned. Everyone, get breakfast going as fast as you can. We’re moving out as soon as possible.” The crowd around us quickly broke up, setting to work as if that would help lessen their unease. Before I could do the same, Nate held me back, leaning in to whisper softly into my ear. “Looks like your grand feeding schedule will have to wait until we’ve made sure that our people are safe. I have a feeling that won’t be too much of a problem once we get there.”
I looked after him for a moment as he left to help with breaking up camp. Hill gave me a curious look, but since I had no intention of spilling the beans, I quickly turned to do the same. Oh well—at least we’d gotten one meal into him. And whatever was waiting for us at the coast, it would come with something bloody and raw to sustain him for another week. Just maybe I’d try to sneak a bite or two myself, for curiosity’s sake.
And, my, didn’t that thought leave me all relaxed and happy.
Chapter 5
Green Fields Series Box Set | Vol. 4 | Books 10-12 Page 80