Pia grinned, if only briefly, while Nate scoffed. “You wouldn’t have said that to his face.”
“Of course not,” Blake insisted, laughing briefly. “Just wait for what we’ll say at your eulogy one day.”
I had to fight a grin at the disgusted expression on Nate’s face. Amos, Cole, and Hill joining us kept me from having to add a witty remark. Somehow, the attack on the town seemed to have done away with some of the raging animosity that had been going on between the army lot and the scavengers, although they still kept a respectful distance from each other. Cole sniffed the air but refrained from offering any wisecracks about wasting perfectly good liquor. They all echoed Blake’s sentiment one way or another, then left once they’d grabbed some coffee. It almost felt like an offering to the gods of war, only in reverse.
All too soon, it was time to pack up camp and leave, hoping we’d hit the next stop before the worst of the heat of the day hit us. Before she could collect her kid and disappear into one of the other cars, I pulled Sadie aside, much to her annoyance. “What?” she asked in the same petulant tone I would have used if someone had done that to me back at the bunker. Shit, but things had changed so much…
“You know that we’re not just pawning you off to Minerva and her people, right?” I asked. “You’re not safe around us. And I hate to say so, but you’re kind of a liability until we know you’re out of harm’s way.”
Sadie grimaced but inclined her head with more grace than I could have mustered. “I’m well aware of that. And no, I’m not mad at you for abandoning me, yet again, while you go out and wage war. Happy?”
Not exactly, but since I wasn’t trying to incite a fight, I left it at a nod. Much to my amusement, Sadie scowled at me. I flashed her a quick grin. “Hey, you had to contribute to the next generation of the human race—you can’t complain that you can’t play warrior goddess now.”
“Yeah, because that’s your job,” she harped. It was my turn to frown now, which made her crack a smile. “Oh, admit it. You get a kick out of how the scavengers all get breathless and are about to break out in fanboy squeals whenever you walk past them.”
I pointedly looked over my shoulder, intent on proving to her that wasn’t the case—only to find a huddle of five scavengers, two male and the three girls we had along, standing together, all staring at me. One of the women went as far as to wave. I quickly turned back to Sadie, a little aghast. “Yeah, I’ll never get used to that.”
“Might come in handy,” she offered.
“Already did, when we cased the camp to spring Nate.” I realized we hadn’t really had time to catch her up on everything, but that wasn’t important now. “Just… I don’t know what to say, but I hate that we have to push you away so soon again. If this shitshow has taught me anything, it’s to make the most of what little time we still have with the people we actually like being around.” I was actually surprised that Hamilton didn’t miraculously appear at my elbow, ready to ruin the moment.
Sadie’s body language eased up a little, and for a moment I wondered if she’d give me a hug, but she refrained from that. “When we crash over noon, why don’t you tell me about the crazy scavengers? I never bought the bull they were reporting on the radio. Most of them we had dropping by from New Vegas were a raucous bunch, but no worse than what I’ve been used to from before. I’ll sleep a little more soundly knowing you’ll have them at your back. I got a little concerned when Pia radioed us after you all left the camp and she said you were stuck with Hamilton glued to your side. I’m actually surprised he’s still alive.”
I couldn’t help gritting my teeth in anger. “Yeah, and it’s not gotten any more bearable since he’s the one who saved my life.”
Sadie gave me a curious look but I gestured that I’d fill her in another time. Martinez would likely do the deed as soon as they were in the car together, anyway. She dropped the point, then looked around, her gaze briefly snagging on Pia and Nate where they were standing to the side, markedly out of earshot of us. Her expression was imploring going on cautious, and she kept eyeing them as she whispered to me.
“Okay, this needs to stay between you and me. Promise me. I can’t unload this on Nate, because as much as he’s trying to appear all calm and composed, it’s pretty obvious that he’s a mess, and losing Andrej didn’t exactly help. But you asked, and I feel like the same is bothering him, so it’s up to you to play diplomat and somehow keep your confidence to me and talk him down off his ledge.”
I kind of hated where this was going but dutifully nodded. “Sure, I promise. Fascinating that you’d think of me as the stable one, but hey. We all have our moments.”
She looked incredulous rather than vexed at my assessment. “You toughed out rotting from the inside out and losing half of your fingers and toes in what must have been your scientist past’s worst nightmare. I’d say that qualifies you for keeping a level head—or as level as you can, running with this crowd.” She bit her lip, stalling, and eventually resumed when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to retort anything. Shit, but I was starting to see why Nate constantly did this to me. It was kind of fun—and rather effective in making the other get to the point. “I know this sounds bad, and in many ways I feel guilty for it, but I’ll be kind of glad to be rid of you once we get to the Utah settlement,” Sadie confessed.
My first reaction was hurt, although I hoped I managed to cut down on the impulse of showing it. My mind, slowly grinding into gears, quickly hashed out what she was actually trying to say. “Because you are too aware that we will turn into a true menace once we lose it, and you can’t have that around your daughter.”
Sadie managed to look both guilty as hell and elated that she needn’t spell that out since I just did. “Bree, I don’t think any of you really get what happened to me. I spent a night, an entire day, and almost another night bound to Andrej while he was fighting tooth and nail not to lose it. And he had already started to turn when they pulled him up and drove those damn meat hooks through him. I could see it in his eyes. He was ready to give in, to give them hell the only way he still could. They knew it, and they turned his last chance at redemption around on him when they bound us together.” She paused, licking her lips. “I can’t say that I wasn’t borderline hysterical when they rigged me with that C4 vest, but that was a hell of an entirely different magnitude. Every time he moved, I felt more of his blood run down on me. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I knew that every drop he lost was one drop closer to death. Every groan of agony, every moan or ragged breath, I felt through my entire body, dreading it would be his last. I know that you loved him like a brother, and he’s always been the same to me, although probably more the weird, inappropriate uncle always getting drunk at family gatherings. Of all the people in my life that I knew would protect me, he has always been among the first that came to mind. And they not only took that away—they turned that around on me. I don’t think I will ever forget exactly how scared I was the entire time. You’d think that decreases as it goes on, as you go numb? No such luck for me since I could tell he was getting too weak to continue fighting the longer we were forced to wait for you like that. It wasn’t even a day yet when I was tempted to simply step off the detonator plate and end it, so it would finally be over, but because of how they’d tied us together, I couldn’t. Bree, they made me want to blow myself up and even that possibility they took from me! I will forever be so fucking grateful to all of you that you got me out of there, and even more to Pia for saving my little girl, but I don’t think I can sleep soundly until I know you’re at least half a state away so none of you can suddenly turn and eat my face.”
Stunned pretty much summed up how I felt at her confession, if you could call it that. Horrified, too, but mostly feeling stupid because that had been completely outside of what I had considered might be weighing on her mind. No wonder she’d gotten in my face earlier. I was at a loss for words but at least I managed to nod, then took her hands because, hey, physical contact w
as probably what she was really wanting from me after telling me all that, right? But I couldn’t very well recoil from her now, so I squeezed her hands, as if to underline my promise already given.
“Thanks for telling me,” I muttered, feeling utterly useless. “And, yeah, it was a sound choice not breathing any of that where Nate can hear. He’s… he has a lot on his mind right now, and the last thing he needs is feeling guilty or second-guessing himself for something he can’t change.”
“You think?” Sadie said, unnaturally acerbic, narrowing her eyes at me when all she got was a blank stare. “I saw him gnawing on a raw piece of meat behind a shed yesterday. They killed all our livestock when they took over the town—I know that wasn’t cow or pig. I’m not quite sure that’s something you can resolve in couples therapy.”
She couldn’t know it, but that barb mostly stung because it echoed what Richards had remarked to me after we’d watched Nate’s spectacular arena kill. I’d been afraid to find him among the mindless drones in the town but that had thankfully not been the case. Wherever he was right now, I hoped that he was still alive, still of sound mind, and not a lying, deceiving, traitorous asshole. Forcing my attention back to Sadie, I found it relatively easy to offer up a somewhat wry but real smile. “That’s my problem, and nothing you need to concern your pretty little head with.”
Her eyes went wide, anger sparking in them, setting my mind at ease. I much preferred dealing with her anger than having her afraid of us—although I really got why.
“Just because the scavengers worship you doesn’t mean you need to be such a bitch,” she hissed, using her momentary indignation to leave me standing there as she marched off toward the cars. I looked after her, shaking my head in silence.
And I had zero qualms about breaking my promise to her as soon as our convoy was underway, Nate driving for the first stretch of the journey. He didn’t flinch at my compacted report, taking it all in with a stoic expression. “Well, at least there’s hope this takes her off the target list,” he surmised, actually sounding amused.
“How so?”
He shrugged, never taking his eyes off the road. “Whoever planned it likely did it to make her hate all of us. That means she’s less useful as a bargaining chip.”
I didn’t miss the frown appearing on his face but it was gone almost immediately. “What’s with the doubt?”
Nate mulled this over for a little before answering. “Remember what I told you in the car when we were waiting to leave Dallas? It’s a wrong move. It’s the opposite of what Decker should have done. Sure, making one of those closest and dearest to me horrified of me is powerful, but it pales in comparison to how much more useful she was before that.”
“Maybe the old asshole is losing his edge?” I suggested.
“Probably,” Nate admitted. “And it could be as simple as this being his Plan B.”
“You mean, Plan A being her blowing up right in front of us, with you having no chance of saving her?” He nodded. “Shit, but I hate being right.”
“No, you don’t,” he teased, but it didn’t hold much humor.
I gave him a fake sweet smile that he missed—too bad. “Of course I don’t. And that’s why we are leaving her behind but I’m coming with you right into the lion’s den.”
I didn’t miss that Nate hesitated before he nodded, but that was a battle for another day. And damn, we still had a way to go until we got there.
Chapter 10
We made good headway at first, but somehow that only added to my paranoia rather than subtract from it. The roads weren’t completely abandoned—we saw traders pass by in the distance every day, and Cole kept updating us on what their Humvee caught of Dispatch’s chatter, which was also going strong—but somehow I felt like my nerves would have been less frazzled if someone had attacked us. At least the fighting would have done a thing or two to let me bleed off some energy.
It took me around two sets of our haphazard day-and-night driving schedule until I felt moderately refreshed, my body not minding much whether it got the sleep it needed in one long stretch or diced up into three shorter sets. Judging from how Sonia and Martinez were still walking puppets, my recovery was on the quick side, even if I still felt the last dregs of having, once again, hopped right off my deathbed. The wound—well, scar now—still bothered me but I had full range of motion back, even when I got up from slumbering with half my body stiff. My untimely tumble off that roof hadn’t exacerbated any of it, leaving only my ego bruised.
We decided to bypass New Vegas in a likely unnecessarily long loop without sending anyone close, and we didn’t get a request from anyone to join although they likely must have been expecting us. The scavengers didn’t speak up, if anything looking pleased that they got to play my honor guard—or whatever they called themselves—while others were denied that pleasure. Our share of the group was down to what was left of the Lucky Thirteen plus Sonia and Sadie since the others had remained with the survivors in California, their bonds to them stronger than to Nate and me. I honestly felt some relief over that since I trusted Santos and Clark not to knife me in the back, but wasn’t so sure about whoever Pia had managed to recruit. I knew that was likely unfair, but after Marleen I was hesitant to make it that easy for anyone else. That of course the scavengers themselves were the most likely host for further insurgent action was obvious, but, if anything, any suspicious glance from anyone in their direction made them stand up a little taller, beaming proud, defiant grins back. And those were surprisingly sober grins; since joining up with us, Amos must have set new rules about intoxicants. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen them smoke anything worse than a conventional cigarette or the odd joint. Of course they were still just as loud and full of swagger, particularly when any of the soldiers were around to see. On watch, they were as disciplined and quiet as the rest of us—just as if they were pretending, which they obviously were. Although none of them had had any affiliation with our townspeople, I could tell that the attack on the town had taken a toll on them as well, once again proving just how vulnerable all of us were in the end, however many weapons we were toting around with us.
Damn, but I was so ready to be done with this shit!
Nevada turned to Utah, but not much changed. It was still dry as fuck and hot as hell, and with our food supplies dwindling as fast as our water, it was hard not to be miserable constantly. Sadie’s remark about watching Nate eat meat of questionable origin at least alleviated my concern regarding his energy levels. Two of the springs on our route had dried up but we managed to find water at a third, and got lucky when Hamilton shot a deer too thirsty to stay at a distance although it must have smelled us. Nate made himself scarce when it was time to divvy up the grilled meat, but otherwise he’d stopped lurking around with Hamilton, instead spending most of the time when we were not on the road sleeping or on watch next to the Ice Queen in seemingly silent companionship. Since usually Sadie and Chris were around, too, it didn’t appear as if they’d spoken ten words between them, but I noticed, as the others who gave a shit must have. Hamilton surprisingly behaved himself, apparently having found the last shred of decency—or so I thought until I happened on Pia pinning him against one of the Humvees, knife to his throat, hissing something at him that I didn’t need to hear to know was as hostile as it got. Bucky appeared appropriately chastised—and maybe a hint scared—but as soon as she let up and walked away, he spit on the ground where she’d been standing and looked ready to come after her, fists flying. I pointedly cleared my throat, making his head whip in my direction, eyes narrowed. I gave him the most level look I could manage before I turned back to my perimeter round, aware that I shouldn’t have felt that satisfied that—finally!—someone had put the asshole in his place. I had a certain feeling that whatever truce they had reached wouldn’t hold up beyond us reaching the Utah settlement, but I didn’t really care, I realized. For how much Andrej’s loss made me feel dejected and raw, I had my people back, and it was hard not to be hap
py about that.
Setting a punishing pace to California before came with one advantage—all the vehicles that had been prone to breaking down had already been left for scrap metal at the side of the road, with those remaining holding up well. Two of the ATVs started stalling out, but Martinez fixed one using spare parts from the other over one hot midday break, forcing the two scavengers now without a ride to hitch with the marines.
And then we were on the last two-hundred mile stretch almost true north, our destination tantalizingly close. I could tell that Nate was tempted to have us drive through the night and forego two longer rests in favor of reaching our destination sooner, but decided against it. It was only when he mentioned it that I realized it had been over a day since the last trader caravan had made us veer farther off track. Just as if my rising paranoia had conjured it, Cole hailed us on the radio, letting us know that he had someone from Salt Lake City on the open frequency.
Nobody tried to pretend they were not listening in as people crowded around the Humvee, Pia needing to bark a few sharp orders so someone would do a passing impression of keeping watch. Nate accepted the mic from Hill, remaining standing outside the vehicle in the afternoon heat baking us all.
“Thought you would be dropping by my humble abode sooner or later,” Minerva herself offered instead of a greeting.
Nate’s expression was completely neutral but he had that fake jovial tone going that he so often used when he was sure someone was spying on us. “Must be a real surprise since you’re the only waypoint of interest going pretty much anywhere from where we were last.”
Minerva laughed. “That is true, and also the reason why we are one of the most important trading hubs in the country.” I wondered for whose benefit she was mentioning that since it couldn’t be for ours. “Do you have an ETA for your convoy? Just so we know when to put out a few extra placemats.”
Green Fields Series Box Set | Vol. 4 | Books 10-12 Page 90