by L.H. Cosway
“I will, thank you. That’s very kind of you.” James cast me a grateful look, his hand coming to rest on my knee under the table.
“What about you?” Dad went on. “How have you been? Michaela mentioned you were close with your mother.” I had mentioned that, but I was a little embarrassed by Dad bringing it up. I didn’t want James thinking I was talking about him to anyone who’d listen.
He frowned, dragging his fork across his plate. “I’ve definitely been better, and I’ll never stop missing her. Now I just need to figure out how to live without her.”
Just like that, a thick ball of emotion sat heavy in my throat. I wished James wasn’t going through all this, wished he could’ve had a few more years with his mum. Under the table, where his hand still rested on my knee, I placed my hand on top of his, giving it a small squeeze.
“Well, I’m happy to talk with you, also. Not just your father,” Dad offered.
James cast me a look. “Michaela has actually been a big help in that department. She’s a great listener, too. She must’ve gotten it from you.”
Bennet gave a derisive snort. “Didn’t she tell you she’s adopted?”
“Bennet, mind your manners,” Mum scolded. I found it laughable that a thirty-three-year-old still had to be reminded of his manners by his own mother. He was kind of pathetic. I didn’t know how it had taken me so many years to realise it.
James frowned at him, his jaw working as he replied, “Not everything is genetic. Michaela was only four when your parents adopted her. I’m sure she learned how to listen from her dad.”
My chest warmed that he remembered what age I’d been when I was adopted. Bennet’s cheeks reddened; his fingers clenching around his fork. Now he scoffed.
“You obviously don’t know her very well if you think she’s a good listener. My sister has her head in the clouds half the time.”
“Bennet! That’s quite enough,” Dad cut in.
Fury bubbled within me. It was an anger that I’d kept buried deep for years and years. Perhaps right now was a good time to finally let it out. “No, keep going. Show Mum and Dad exactly how you like to talk to me when they’re not around.”
Bennet rolled his eyes, like I was being ridiculous. He looked to Dad. “She’s making it up. I’m nothing but kind to her.”
“How you’ve been speaking to her today hasn’t been very kind,” Mum pointed out, folding her arms as she levelled him with a disapproving look.
“Well, I just don’t think it’s very appropriate how Michaela’s been conducting herself. She moved to London only to start having a seedy affair with her employer.”
James’ hand on my thigh tensed, his jaw working, and I knew he wanted to interrupt, put Bennet in his place, but I didn’t need him to fight my battles for me. No, I realised quite starkly that I was well-equipped to fight them all on my own. I squeezed his hand, a silent communication that he didn’t need to speak for me, as I levelled my attention on my adopted brother.
“There’s nothing seedy about mine and James’ relationship, but I don’t need to justify myself to you. I never have. In fact, it’s pretty pathetic that you seem to believe I need your approval. You’re a hateful person who’s spent the last nineteen years trying to make me feel like I’m not loved or wanted by our parents, and I’m sure they’ll tell you right now that isn’t true. So, go ahead, keep looking down your nose at me all you want. Your opinion means less than nothing.”
“I…I have spent nineteen years doing nothing of the sort,” Bennet sputtered, but the way Mum and Dad were looking at him, their eyes full of disappointment and sadness to finally see the truth of how Bennet treated me said it all. He could protest all he wanted. They wouldn’t believe him.
“Bennet, might I have a word with you in private a moment?” Dad asked and they quietly left the table. I watched as they walked to the back of the restaurant, where my dad spent the next ten minutes reprimanding his son. When they returned, Bennet looked shamefaced for the first time in his life. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t outed his behaviour to our parents sooner.
“Michaela,” he said, his cheeks red from whatever Dad had just said to him. “If I ever said anything or behaved in a way that made you feel belittled or hurt, I’m sorry.”
I stared at him. His apology was a start but it in no way meant I was going to sit here and forgive him for years of bad treatment. Instead, all I said was, “Okay,” and seeing that I wasn’t going to give him any more than that he sat back down in his seat and quietly resumed his meal.
The rest of dinner was a little subdued, and when we left the restaurant, Bennet, Laurence, and Dad sat in the car while I hugged Mum goodbye.
“I’m so sorry about Bennet’s behaviour,” Mum said. “I truly had no idea”
I believed her. I guessed sometimes parents looked at their kids with rose-tinted glasses. Mum and Dad were the sort of people who always saw the best in others, even if sometimes the best didn’t exist.
“You don’t need to apologise for him,” I said. “Maybe we’ll never see eye to eye, but that’s fine.” I pulled her close, hugging her tighter. “I got you and Dad, didn’t I? As far as I’m concerned, I won the lottery with you guys, and Laurence, too.”
“Oh, Michaela,” she breathed, and I heard her give a little sniffle. “You’re such a wonderful young woman. Don’t ever forget that.”
I smiled into the hug. “I won’t.”
When I finally let go, Mum’s attention went to James, who stood a few yards away waiting for me. “He’s a good man, that James,” she said.
“I know,” I replied.
Her hand came to rest above my heart. “Just be careful with this. I know you’ve always been wary of trusting people. Given your start in life, that’s understandable. To be all alone at such a young age certainly leaves its mark. When you were a little girl, it took months for you to finally trust your dad and me. Anyway, the fact that you trust James means something. But even if it doesn’t work out, remember we’ll always be there for you. No matter what happens.”
“Thanks, Mum. It means a lot to hear you say that.”
After one final hug, Mum finally got inside the car, and I tried not to get too emotional over her kind words.
I walked to James and we waved them off. I slid my hand into his and he gazed down at me. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Everything’s more than okay,” I said, going up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “You were amazing tonight. Thanks for being here.”
“I had a good time,” he replied with affection. “Well, except for your brother being a monumental fuckwit. You handled him well. I was impressed.”
He arched an eyebrow and I chuckled. “Thanks. I’m just glad my parents know what he’s really like now.”
“It’s always a good thing to have your eyes opened. By the way,” James went on. “You never opened your present.” He motioned to where I’d stowed it away in my bag.
I pulled out the small gift and opened it to find a velvet jewellery box. My stomach fluttered as I pried it open to discover a delicate gold necklace. It took me a moment to notice the pendant contained an engraving of the Manhattan skyline. “It’s so pretty,” I said in awe. I couldn’t believe he’d gone out and bought me a gift, and one with such meaning, too. December in New York would forever remind me of James.
“You like it?” he asked hopefully.
I turned to him, pressing my lips softly to his. “I love it,” I whispered. We stood in that spot, our kiss going from gentle to heated. The cold nipped at my ears and I drew away.
“Thanks again for coming tonight,” I said, breathless now. “My family really liked you.”
“Most of your family,” James corrected.
“Yes, well, Bennet doesn’t count.”
“The bloke really is a dick,” James said flatly.
I giggled and snuggled into him, the frosty air creeping under my coat. James exhaled, his breath visible in the cold. “Come on,” I urged
. “Let’s get out of this cold before we freeze to death.”
With that, he led me over to where he’d parked his car.
Twenty-Three
Michaela
Several days passed. James was busy caring for his dad most of the time, so I didn’t see him a whole lot. We talked a little through texts and phone calls. Every time my phone buzzed, I got a little thrill of happiness thinking it might be him. In the evenings we’d organise to meet up, or he’d cook for us at the house.
We decided to take on the task of telling everyone we were seeing each other together. It was nerve-wracking, but then I was taken aback by their smiles and support. It felt weirdly like they’d seen it coming, which made me wonder if perhaps my feelings for James weren’t as secret as I’d thought.
“You make a very handsome couple,” Paul said with a wink.
“And smart, too,” Callum added. “Together, you two will rule the world.”
I chuckled shyly. “I don’t know about that.”
James squeezed my hand, shooting me a warm smile, before Leanne pulled me into a hug. “I’m so happy about this. You have no idea.”
“Just don’t forget, if the big guy ever screws up, I’ll be here to comfort you, Michaela,” Isaac said playfully and James shot him a fake scowl.
James took me out to dinner a few times after that, and even some dates to parks and the zoo. Our sex life took up a lot of my waking thoughts. The more we discovered about each other, the steamier things got. We pushed and prodded at each other’s boundaries, learning something new each time.
I was just leaving the gym late one evening when my phone buzzed with a text. Like always, butterflies played havoc with my insides. Hastily, I pulled out my phone, but the message wasn’t from James. The butterflies flew away in disappointment.
Leanne: Have you seen these photos?
She included several links, mostly to posts on the Daily Mail. They featured pictures of James and me, some of them taken from outside the restaurants where we’d shared meals, and others of us sitting on a bench at the park, chatting and sharing a coffee. They’d even caught us checking out the giraffes at the zoo.
The photos were accompanied by short articles, questioning who James Khan’s new lady friend was? Everything inside of me recoiled at my picture being splashed all over these websites. I hated to be in the spotlight, but this was a whole other level. Maybe I was silly not to expect it. James was in the public eye, after all.
I was still reeling from the pictures when another text came in.
Leanne: Diana is going to be PISSED when she sees them.
Stomach all in knots, I quickly locked up the gym, since I was the last to leave, then headed down the street toward the tube station. I was just rounding the corner at the end of the street when Diana appeared. It was almost like Leanne’s text summoned her. I paused mid-stride, wondering what she was doing here. Was she looking for James? Her expression was oddly friendly, which took me off guard.
“Michaela. I was hoping I might catch you,” she said casually, though I sensed something else bubbling underneath, something that was far from the calm façade she displayed.
“You were? Why?” I asked, frowning.
She gestured over my shoulder. “Can we go back to the gym? It’s freezing out here.”
I worried my lip, not exactly keen on going back into the gym alone with her. “Um, I actually just locked the place up, but there’s a bar across the street,” I said, gesturing to the busy spot. I didn’t entirely trust Diana, so staying in public seemed like a good idea.
“A bar is fine,” she said and we crossed the street together.
“Can I get you a drink?” she asked as we entered, but I shook my head.
“No, thank you.”
She appeared the tiniest bit annoyed that I wouldn’t share a drink with her and proceeded to take a seat at the bar and order a glass of wine. I sat on the stool next to hers, starting to grow antsy.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, hoping to get to the point quickly so that I could go home. I had very little time for this woman after hearing how she treated James.
Diana lifted her wine and took a sip before placing it back down on a cardboard coaster. “No need to look so concerned. I’m actually here to help you. I don’t like to see smart young women being taken advantage of.”
Her statement got my back up, but I was curious about what her angle was. I eyed her with no small amount of suspicion. “Go on.”
Her expression was sincere, but I couldn’t tell if it was real or affected. She reached out, placing her hand on mine. “Oh, honey, I saw those pictures the tabloids have been printing of you and James. Normally, I wouldn’t get involved, but it’s clear to see you’ve fallen for him. If it was just sex, that would be fine, but toying with someone’s emotions isn’t right.”
My breathing quickened, my stomach twisting. “What are you trying to say?”
She withdrew her hand and unzipped her handbag, pulling out a tube of lip gloss. She took her time delicately smearing it across her lips, before putting the lid back on and returning it to her bag. She sucked in a deep inhale. “This isn’t an easy thing to tell you, Michaela.” For once, she didn’t pretend not to remember my name.
I gritted my teeth. “Please just get to the point.”
She cast her pretty hazel eyes on me. “James and I have an agreement.”
Just like that, I knew she was bullshitting. I remembered the conversation I’d listened to between Diana and James a few weeks ago, when she offered to let him sow his wild oats so long as he came back to her in the end. James would never say yes to that, I knew it deep in my bones even though I hadn’t actually heard the end of their conversation.
“What kind of agreement?” I asked, faking like I was dumb. I had to admit, she put on a good act. If I didn’t know James so well, I might’ve been fooled.
“I’m not sure if you know this, but I was James’ first,” Diana went on. “I know it’s hard to get your head around, since he’s such a good-looking guy, but he was really shy when we first met. He’d never been with a woman until me. It wasn’t long before we entered into a relationship and, well, it felt a little selfish. After all, I had a number of lovers before I met James, and I wanted him to be sure before he committed his entire life to me. I wanted him to experience what else was out there. So, we agreed that he could explore different sexual avenues, but that once he was done, he’d come back to me.”
“And when did you two make this agreement?” I tried my best to keep my voice neutral.
She appeared to be thinking about it before she replied, “Do you remember when I came to the house a few weeks ago? I’m pretty sure it was then. Please don’t be upset. Like I said, I couldn’t go along letting James take advantage of you. You’re such a nice girl. You don’t deserve it.”
“No, I don’t, but I also don’t believe a word out of your mouth,” I told her with conviction and she paled.
A second later, the mask slipped, her fake empathy slithering away, revealing the real Diana underneath. Her lips thinned, her eyes narrowing to slits. We stared each other down for a long moment.
“If you just came here to lie to me, you should leave now. I know all about how you treated James, how you hit him, how you manipulated him. He told me everything.”
Now she looked angry. Perhaps I shouldn’t test her, but I couldn’t help it. I was mad. Mad about what she did to James, mad that she thought she deserved him back, and mad that she’d come here spouting lies to try and interfere in what we had.
“You don’t know a thing,” she said finally. “You’re a child. You have no clue what it’s like to be in a relationship like James and I were. It’s complicated, and yes, I might’ve behaved poorly, but you’re hardly any better, getting your claws into him when he was most vulnerable. We broke up two months ago and you’ve clearly been seeing each other a while. How long did you wait to make your move, huh? I might not have been
the best girlfriend, but at least when James and I got together, he was in a healthy frame of mind. You took advantage of him while he was grieving for his mother, while he was still processing our breakup. You put on the sweet little assistant act, but I see you. You’re nothing but a dirty opportunist and James isn’t a stupid man. He might be blind to it now, but soon enough, he’ll see the truth.”
I stared at her, a brick forming in my gut. Diana had most definitely hit a nerve.
I stood abruptly, my throat heavy with emotion. “Okay, well, if that’s all you have to say, I think I’ll be leaving.”
“Is the truth a little hard to swallow, Michaela?” Diana asked with a cruel laugh.
I didn’t give her the satisfaction of a response, instead walking right out of the pub without a single backward glance. She was trying to get inside my head, but I refused to let her.