The Fake Bride Loophole - A Mountain Man Romance

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The Fake Bride Loophole - A Mountain Man Romance Page 7

by Layla Valentine


  “Without hesitation.” Lauren briefly looks my way.

  All I can do is nod my humble gratitude. I may be a solitary creature, but no one gets ahead in life without at least one good friend, and the sheriff is mine.

  “I have to get married,” Michelle mutters, giving me a troubled glance. “Playing pretend in front of a skeevy lawyer is one thing, but this…”

  My head hurts. It took too much out of me to even ask for help, let alone get her to do this in an official and legal manner.

  “Are we sure it’s necessary?” I wonder aloud, hoping for a reassuring reply. “What are the odds that Cline or Sykes can even check our marital status?”

  “Very high. If Sykes could pull the bachelor’s amendment out of his hind, I imagine him figuring out your lie will be a walk in the park,” Lauren replies, shaking her head. “You have to do this properly.”

  “Dang…” I turn to Michelle again. “If you wanna back out—”

  “We can get a divorce when this is over,” she says, cutting me off with newfound determination. “The Bachelor Amendment doesn’t cover that. I checked.”

  “Michelle is right,” Lauren confirms. “All you have to do is get married.”

  “Even that might not be enough, considering my age.” I sigh, somehow getting cold feet. This is all buffoonish. Ridiculous. Too much hassle.

  And yet, what other option do I have? In past centuries, I might’ve gotten away with… I don’t know, an accidental shooting, a hunting mishap or something. Today, too many eyes are fixed upon me. A legal course is my only option. Well, giving up is also up there, but… No. I can’t let Cline do this.

  “We can fight that in court,” Michelle insists, her slim brows pulled into a determined frown. She keeps her chin up in sheer defiance, and it sends my blood rushing like crazy again. “The main thing is to seal the deal as quickly as possible. I doubt we can get the certificate backdated, but since the Bachelor Amendment is ridiculous and antiquated, I’m pretty sure I can push it in our favor because we’d be married upon submitting the motion.”

  The certainty in her eyes fills me with fresh energy, as if I’ve just stuck my fingers into a 220V socket. Her legal lingo would qualify as a turn-on in more casual circumstances. If we were dating, that is. But we’re not dating. We’re skipping straight to the marriage part. I need to make this right, then.

  “All right. Lauren, if I remember correctly, you’re perfectly equipped to officiate the ceremony. Deputy Banner here can be our witness,” I say, drawing him back into the conversation. Jax keeps sniffing his hind and making him uncomfortable. The guy could clearly use a break.

  “Yeah, that works,” Lauren replies.

  Michelle gives me a terrified look.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask her. “You can always say no. I don’t want you getting into something you’ll regret later.”

  “It’s okay,” she says, making herself smile. “I’m sorry. It’s just… you know, not the usual way one goes about a relationship.”

  “Technically speaking, you two are simply faking one,” Banner chimes in with an awkward smile, and neither of us can contradict him.

  As Lauren looks up the standard wedding vows and transcribes them onto a sheet of paper, Michelle and I hand Banner our driver’s licenses so he can take photocopies with his phone. He’ll need them for town hall, later. Once we’re ready, Lauren officiates the actual wedding, while I lose myself in Michelle’s gaze, overwhelmed with gratitude, anxiety, and a host of new emotions I have yet to fully understand.

  “Do you, Daley Fontaine, take Michelle Rose Perez to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” Lauren asks, then hands me a set of cheap silvery wedding bands she picked out of Kate’s jewelry store.

  I take one and slip it on Michelle’s finger. “I do.”

  When it’s her turn, Michelle puts the band on and looks into my eyes. “I do,” she says.

  My heart sings a little song.

  This is just pretend.

  Why am I so giddy, then?

  I’ve been alone my whole life, yet I have come alive from the moment I crossed paths with this remarkable woman. This marriage is going to be on her civil record for life. Sure, we’ll get a divorce once I’m rid of Cline, but still… Part of me dares imagine a particularly interesting scenario where a divorce won’t be necessary.

  No, that’s just my mind going haywire. I’ve got too much on my plate. This is just the thrill of novelty toying with my senses.

  Michelle probably feels the same way.

  “You may now kiss the bride,” Lauren says, and my blood reaches boiling point.

  “I forgot about this part,” I mutter.

  “Do we have to?” Michelle asks.

  Lauren shrugs. “Might as well do it properly.”

  There’s a gleam of mischief in her gaze, and I know she’s enjoying this more than she should, but I don’t say a word. She’s helping me keep my land. Let her have her fun.

  I turn my focus back on Michelle. She’s waiting for me to kiss her, and my throat’s closing up. I’m nervous, and stupidly so. It’s just pretend. What the heck is wrong with me?

  Banner clears his throat, like that’s gonna make me go faster, but I’m frozen on the spot, unable to take my eyes off this… this dark-haired angel who somehow just said yes.

  Finally, I kiss her.

  The moment our lips meet is etched into the fabric of this universe. I’m sure of it. She’s tender and sweet. Soft and plump. Her warm breath tickles gently, and I’m getting lightheaded while pressure gathers in my stomach and down below. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure that I’m getting turned on. This is bad. This is dangerous.

  “Well done!” Lauren exclaims.

  I have a feeling that the kiss took longer than anyone might have expected.

  Pulling back slowly, I notice that Michelle is breathless, her eyes darkened to a deep black as she straightens her back. “Right, so that’s out of the way,” she murmurs, voice raw and tremulous.

  “What next?” I ask, looking to Lauren for rescue.

  “Next? Well, Banner and I will head down to the town hall and get that certificate going. I expect it will be ready by tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow?” I sound disappointed.

  “It’s not like I can get Judge Durbin to sign it,” she replies with a bitter smile. “He approved Cline’s Bachelor Amendment angle, so I need to take this to a different judge. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.”

  She means it. She will do whatever it takes to keep Cline from getting his way, but she will operate within the scope of the law. I’ve yet to forget the murderous look on her face when I suggested that she backdate the marriage certificate earlier. It gave me chills.

  Once Lauren and Banner are gone, I’m left in the middle of the clearing outside my house, standing like an upright plank next to Michelle. We’re married. We’re actually married, and I need to figure out a way to make this worthwhile. Determined not to let her leave this place without the ultimate satisfaction, I gather the nerve and take her hand.

  “Come on, Mrs. Fontaine. Let’s get you to the Teddy Roosevelt National Park. I know you’ve been dying to see it,” I say.

  She flashes me a bright grin. “Honeymoon, huh?”

  “If you’re up for it.”

  There may be a double entendre here, but neither of us seems to mind. On the contrary, we’re both giggling as we head back into the cabin to get our gear. Michelle tripped and fell into my life when I least expected it yet most needed it. The least I can do is make her the happiest I can. I want to make her love this mountain and this part of the world as much as I do.

  I’m a lucky son of a gun, I know.

  But something tells me the crazy is just getting started.

  Chapter 11

  Daley

  As expected, Michelle is left speechless by the natural splendor that is Theodore Ro
osevelt National Park. I used to come here so often as a kid, I basically know every nook and cranny—not to mention all the best sights. Without the assistance of a guide but always making sure she’s got me to lean on in case her ankle gets iffy, I take her down the more popular paths.

  There are wooden bridges built across wide creeks and over deep ravines. There are stony ridges working their way up the side of the mountain, flanked on both sides by thick pine woods. There are clusters of deer making their way across the valley to our left as we walk slowly up to the waterfall. It’s one of my favorite spots, and I know she’s going to love it.

  “How are you holding up?” I ask.

  We’ve been quiet for the past twenty minutes or so, but it’s not the awkward kind of quiet that I get with most people down in Dickinson. A sense of tranquility prevails, like perhaps we’re a good fit for each other. It’s a scary but strangely comforting thought.

  “I’m okay. Marveling at everything around me,” she says, a permanent smile etched across her beautiful face. “This place is amazing.”

  I seem to be happy when she’s happy, and it worries me. I’ve allowed myself to fall into the rabbit hole of this make-believe marriage way too fast, and now I’m clawing at the dirt as I struggle to get back to reality.

  By the time we reach the waterfall, Michelle is out of breath but in a good way.

  The stream comes down from the other side of my mountain, swollen by three different springs. The water tumbles over an uneven mass of green moss and limestone boulders, filling the pond at the bottom before it continues its journey south of here. The constant murmur is accompanied by bird trills and rustling leaves. It’s colder than usual, but we’ve got proper coats on.

  Steam rolls from our parted lips as we stare at the water coming down and down and down. It’s hypnotizing. It’s a relatively common trick of nature that still compels and demands one’s full attention. I’ve seen it so many times, yet I never grow tired of its simple, inestimable beauty.

  Michelle shudders beside me, and I feel compelled to put my arm around her shoulder. I hold my breath as I expect her to react, but nothing happens. She lets me hold her, and I’m smothering a smile before I make myself look like a fool.

  We spend most of the day hiking lightly across the northwestern side of the park. On the right, we’ve got a sturdy mountain with rich forests. On the left, the valley widens, riddled with tributaries that keep the entire ecosystem thriving. Wolves, bears, deer and a plethora of birds of prey call this place home. I’m always impressed by the amount of work that the rangers put in to make sure nobody soils the purity of this wonderful land.

  By now, Michelle and I know each other a little better. She’s a defense attorney with a rich cultural background, a big loving family and constant social dynamics. The complete opposite of me—the isolated mountain man who barely has one, maybe two human friends. In that sense, we couldn’t be further apart. Still, our conversations never dwindle or fade without resolve. She questions my position on certain issues, and I don’t hesitate to call her out on the “city slicker” jargon she sometimes throws at me. I’m never going to be bored with this woman.

  “Daley, I understand that you like your mountain and solitude, but do you ever miss it? The town, I mean.”

  We settle on a wooden bench right on the edge of the pond. Frogs frolic beneath, fish come up with gaping mouths, and four-legged mosquitoes sashay across the water as the sun begins its lazy descent into the west. For a moment, I find myself gazing, brought to a complete halt by the delicate yet bold features of Michelle’s profile. Thoughts flicker beneath her long, black eyelashes, and I would give an arm and a leg to hear what’s on her mind.

  “Dickinson? Sometimes. But mostly because of my history with it. I was born there. Raised there. I knew everyone, and everyone knew me,” I tell her.

  “Have you ever been to the city? Sorry, it might be a stupid question.”

  She giggles nervously, and I’m compelled to cover her hand with mine as a gesture of reassurance. I underestimate what touching her might do to me, but it’s too late. I have to ride this out.

  “I made it as far as Seattle once. Just once.”

  “What about Minneapolis?”

  I shake my head. “Most of the projects that take me out of the county are farther north or north-west. But I wouldn’t mind visiting Minneapolis. You’ve made it sound interesting enough.”

  “Well, when this is over, and maybe later down the road… you’d come visit,” she says, her gaze dropping to her boots. “I mean, if you’re ever inclined to head south instead of north. I might even get you a couple of furniture orders if you’re interested. I know a couple of people with money to throw on beautiful objects, so…”

  “That is very kind of you,” I reply, smiling gently.

  She gives me this long and curious look, as if she’s only discovering me now for the first time. I can’t quite understand what it means, but I know it rattles my senses almost as fiendishly as our wedding kiss.

  Dammit, I’ve yet to pull myself out of the rabbit hole, and it’s getting scary ’cause I like it too much.

  “This whole marriage thing is weird and kind of funny, but I want you to know that I am, in fact, having a surprisingly good time,” Michelle says. “Our circumstances may be out of the ordinary, but I’m glad we met, Daley. You’re a gracious host and a good man. I’ll be happy if we manage to get Cline out of your life.”

  “I owe you so much already, but I promise I will repay you. Such acts of kindness will make the universe smile,” I reply.

  Time seems to slow down around us, if only for a short breath’s worth. I imagine kissing her again, then immediately admonish myself for going there. She’s being a decent person. If I want to get it on, I can just go down to Dickinson and that’s it. Michelle deserves better. Much, much better. She’s a frickin’ goddess, and I’m just a grizzly bear.

  Even so, I could stay like this forever.

  On the way back to the cabin, I can tell that she’s getting tired. Her ankle is acting up, and she keeps tripping down the dirt road. The darkness settles over the woods, and the trees around us seem taller, like dangerous strangers with cloaks of pine needles ready to cover and smother those who pass through here.

  “When was your last date? And I mean proper date. Dinner-and-a-movie date,” Michelle asks.

  It’s impossible not to notice her interest in me. Normally, I wouldn’t mind it, but I fear it might feed my secret delusion that she likes me, when clearly she’s just making conversation. It’s a good question to ask a guy like me, anyway.

  “Three years ago,” I say. “Her name was Rachel, and it only worked between us for a couple of months before she got a job in Fargo and left. Can’t say I tossed and turned when it was over, though. What about you?”

  “A proper date? A few months, maybe. I lost track. To be honest, my career has been my sole focus lately, and for good reason. There’s this big firm that’s eyeing me for a position, and if they make an offer, it will push me higher up the legal food chain, so to speak.”

  “You cherish your work more than anything,” I conclude.

  “Absolutely. I put myself through law school and clerked for the most obnoxious judges in the entire state so I could get to where I am today and especially where I will be tomorrow,” she replies with a dry chuckle. “There are few things in the world that are more complex than our legal system, even with its faults. I plan to make it better, someday.”

  “So you see yourself on the Supreme Court?”

  She’s unable to hold back a dreamy smile. “Maybe in my sixties. But I want a few more good years on the defense side before I switch to prosecution. Right now, I’m trying to attain a financial balance that is better achieved working high-profile cases in big-shot three-name firms, if you catch my drift.”

  “Aha, so once you get some nice bonuses in your savings account and a white picket fence somewhere nice, you’ll jump the fence and start pr
osecuting people instead of defending them.”

  “Basically.”

  “Some might think it’s devious,” I say, carefully gauging her reaction.

  Michelle smiles with brilliant confidence. “I am but a tool of the legal system. My personal opinion of the defendant doesn’t matter. I just want to make sure I understand this world before I later try to reshape it. There is so much injustice in our courts, Daley… I can’t live without trying to make a difference.”

  The grand statement is followed by Michelle tripping and nearly falling flat on her face. She squeals as I catch her in my arms and hold her close.

  For a few seconds, the entire world vanishes from around us. There is only darkness and the frantic thudding of our hearts brought close to one another. I don’t know what will happen next, but I do know what I’d do if I had no manners. The peppered look in her eyes tells me I’m not the only one thinking it, but maybe I’m reading the wrong signals here.

  I’m not exactly known for my social skills or my ability to pick up on the finer hints of body language. My breath is nowhere to be found, but Michelle manages to recover and laughs nervously as she puts her hands on my shoulders.

  “Thank you. And sorry I keep splattering all over you like this. I think my leg’s done for the day.”

  “We still have half a mile to go. Would you like to rest?” I ask, still holding her hips. Tiny waist, generous hips. If I close my eyes, I can imagine her hourglass figure beneath the layers of wool and corduroy.

  “No, I can do it.”

  She can’t, but pride won’t let her admit it, and I would be an idiot if I called her out on it.

  “Jax will have picked up our scent by now, so don’t be alarmed if you spot a wolf coming toward us. He’s pretty much the only one in the area,” I say, then crouch before her. “Come on, get on my back.”

  “What? No.” Michelle snorts with laughter. “Are you crazy?”

  “It’ll be easier for the both of us, I promise. I’m used to carrying much heavier stuff up this mountain.”

 

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