He slammed the door as he left the room, Charlotte’s laughter could still be heard as he hurried down the hallway. If there wasn’t anybody that was going to help him in the office, there was one person he could turn to in a situation like this. It was risky, but he knew that Alex had the money to make it happen and that he was willing to do just about anything to go on a date with Nicole. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Chapter 11: I’ve got it!
Jerry rushed to his office and closed the door, shielding himself from the world like a mad scientist. He sat at his desk and scrolled through the list of contacts in his phone, searching for one man he knew could help out in this situation. He was sort of a weird guy, but his creations were just outside of brilliant, and they were known to do just what they were set out to do. He finally scrolled past his number and, taking a deep breath, he sent the call through.
It rang a few times before he heard a voice on the other end, “Hello?”
“Hi,” Jerry said anxiously, “Albert, uh I mean, Dr. Albert Rosenthall? It’s Jerry, I’m so glad you answered.”
“I think-”
“Now, I know you told me not to contact you anymore, and I’m truly sorry about setting your dog on fire. It was an honest mistake, ok Doctor? I mean, I didn’t know the dog would actually know how to strike the match. I guess your potion worked better than I thought it would.”
“Excuse me, sir but I-”
“Ok, I’ll just get to the point, Doc. Just hear me out, alright? I’ve got a friend. He desperately wants the attention of a young woman. However, she has no interest in him whatsoever. I mean, she wouldn’t even piss on him if he was on fire,” he paused. “Oh, sorry, Doc. I didn’t mean to use that analogy. I know you might still be sensitive about it all but listen if you can help at all. I mean, potions, serums, a freaking tranquilizer, anything! Anything that can help out, I would truly appreciate it. I’m sure he will pay anything for it!”
There was a long silence that sat between them just after Jerry finished his rant. He waited for Dr. Rosenthall’s response patiently, not knowing if the Doctor was contemplating his response or deciding whether or not he should hang up the phone. After a few more moments, Jerry finally spoke up, “Dr. Rosenthall?”
“Now that you have given me the opportunity to speak,” the elderly voice on the other end stated, “I am not Dr. Rosenthall. I am Charles Dillhickie from Mississippi, and I have not a clue what in tarnation you are talking about! Now, if you call my phone again, I’ll have you arrested for slander and child abuse!”
“Slander and Child abuse?!”
Charles hung up the phone before anything else could be said. Jerry looked at the phone number and dropped his head to his desk, causing a thumping sound to radiate inside of his office. He picked up his head and dropped it down a few more times as if to punish himself for exposing secrets to an unknown man. He logged onto his computer and began to search the area for Dr. Rosenthall. He still has to be local; he said to himself as he frantically typed in his name and all of his known inventions. After digging for an hour or so, he finally came across something that may have been a breakthrough in the Doctor’s whereabouts. His eyes lit up, and his hands shook as he nervously inserted the address into the GPS on his phone. “Your destination is 45 minutes away,” the robotic woman said.
His next step was to call the number next to the address. He took a deep breath and inserted the phone number carefully, in fear that he would somehow find a way to redial Charles Dillhickie from Mississippi. The phone rang twice before someone picked up, “Hello?” he said in a creepy, monotone voice. With that, he immediately knew it was Dr. Rosenthall. His voice was extremely distinct and had it not been for his anxiety on the previous call; he would have paid attention to that superfluous detail. With that, he hung up the phone and rushed up to Alex’s office.
He balled up his fist and obnoxiously knocked on the door until Alex yanked it open. Jerry rushed past him and went straight to the suit coat he had hanging on his coat rack, “Come on, Alex,” he said tossing it to him, “we have to go right now!”
“Go where?”
“Just, come on! I’ll explain to you on the way! Tell Shaun to hurry up! This is going to change your life!”
Alex put on his blazer and looked back into his office one last time before he shut the door behind him. Little did he know that this was not only going to change his perspective on life but how others viewed him as well. They got into the back seats of the Maybach as Jerry yelled out to Shaun, “52nd and Calumet, Shaun, pronto!” Shaun remained in his position as Jerry looked around, bewildered as to why the vehicle hadn’t begun moving. “Didn’t you hear me, Shaun?! 52nd and Calumet! This is life or death! Get the stick out of your ass and let's go!”
Shaun cleared his throat and straightened his tie, peering back at him in the rearview mirror. Jerry looked towards him and then to Alex, “What the fuck is wrong with this guy, Alex!? Is he deaf!?” he glanced back Shaun, “Hellooooo, anybody home!? Go, man! Drive!” The car remained still as Alex peered at Jerry, “He doesn’t take orders from anyone who does not pay him.”
“For Christ’s sake, we don’t have time for semantics!”
“Now, just hold on. Where are we going?”
“Ok, it’s this guy. He is like some crazy, nut job and I lit his dog on fire once-”
“Wait, crazy, nut job? You lit his dog on fire?!”
“No, just. Ok, I know it sounds bad but just hear me out, alright?”
“I’m listening.”
“Ok, this nut job is a genius. I mean, there is a fine line between insanity and pure brilliance and he is definitely toting that line with precision. But, anyways, I lit his dog on fire once, but it was an accident. He made this liquid stuff that made his dog smarter. I mean, all the dog had to do was drink it and then moments later, it was like he was fucking Air Bud. He was doing shit that only humans can do. I just accidentally had the lighter fluid too close to the match, you know. Honestly, I didn’t think the little shit would be able to do it but-”
“Jerry, get to the point, please?!”
“Right! Ok, so I know he can create something that will help Nicole become more attracted to you. I mean, I know he is a little upset with me right now but money talks and one thing I know you have a lot of is money!”
“Help her become more attracted to me?”
“Yes! I mean, it’s nothing that will kill her or turn her retarded or anything like that. It’s all natural stuff that he uses; it’s just that it’s kind of umm, unethical.”
“Kind of?!”
“What else do you want to do, Alex? I mean, the woman has no interest in you whatsoever. I mean, if you were a fly, I don’t even think she would take a shit for you! This is your way in!”
Alex squinted in the direction of Shaun as he returned the glare through the rearview mirror. He knew what Shaun was thinking, and if it were just the two of them in the car, he would have advised Alex against it, but he knew his place. This was a decision that Alex had to make on his own, and he wasn’t going to cross any lines. He wrestled back and forth in his mind as Jerry sat beside him, prodding for his agreement. The only interest Jerry had in this outcome was landing Currie Anderson and that, in itself, would pay for everything he was risking right now.
“Shaun, to 52nd and Calumet, please.”
“Right away, Sir.”
With that, the car was set in motion, and they were on their way. Jerry only hoped that when Dr. Rosenthall saw him, he wouldn’t follow through on his threats about setting his dog on fire. Even if he did, he was sure that Alex would take care of him until the effects wore off. At least, he hoped that he would but Alex, he had his mind on different things. Nicole’s beautiful, brown skinned and well-toned body sat in his imagination, smiling and waving for him to sit next to her on the sandy beach. On his way over to her, he tripped over his own feet and fell head first into a sand castle. Even in his own imagination, he couldn’t escap
e the awkwardness that was Alex Rawlings.
Chapter 12: This just might be crazy enough to work
They drove up to an eerie, large house just on the end of the neighborhood block. The houses were scattered out in an odd way, and only three of them sat on either side of the block. Shaun parked right in front of the house as they all peered out at it from inside the car, “This looks like Hotel Transylvania. Are you sure this is the right place, Jerry?” Alex asked curiously.
Jerry looked down at his GPS and confirmed it with the link he found Dr. Rosenthall’s information on, “Yup, this is the place,” he said as he sat back in his seat, “Well, you two go in and let me know how it goes.”
“What? No way, you brought me here, and you’re the one that knows him, so you’re going to take me in!”
“C’mon, Alex! I got you to the guy’s house! How about this, I’ll call him and let him know you’re coming.”
“No!”
“Alex, please!”
It seemed that everything was alright with Jerry until they had reached their destination. His palms were sweaty, his eyes bolted back and forth from side to side, looking in every direction as they were parked outside.
“Get ahold of yourself, Jerry!”
“You don’t understand! Ok, since I burned the guy’s dog, he threatened to… he threatened to make something that would turn me into a dog the next time he saw me! I don’t want to be a dog, Alex! I don’t want to sniff anybody else’s ass! I hate smelling my own farts, so I know I’ll go crazy if I stick my nose in another dog’s ass! Please, Alex!”
“Jerry, let’s go,” he said, matter-of-factly.
Shaun walked to the back and opened their door as they both stepped outside. It seemed as if clouds suddenly began to appear just above Dr. Rosenthall’s home and crows circled the top of it, cawing as if they were alerting the occupants inside of the company. Alex straightened his blazer and headed up the stairs. He had taken a few steps before he realized Jerry was still by the car, “Jerry, come on!” He stomped his foot into the sidewalk and then headed up the stairs behind Alex.
The front steps of the home were wooden and they creaked as soon as Alex stepped foot onto one of them. A strong gust of wind blew as things seemed to become creepier the closer they got to the door. Fear attempted to sweep into Alex’s mind but he quickly shook it loose, nonsense, he said to himself as he glanced back to Shaun for reassurance. Shaun stood at the car door, watching Alex’s every move as he was accustomed to doing until Alex got inside the location.
Jerry stood right behind him, cowering, “maybe, maybe I put in the wrong address,” he said, “yeah, let’s just go back to the car and,” in the midst of Jerry’s rebuttal, Alex rang the doorbell. Jerry tried to turn around and leave, but Alex grabbed his arm and pulled him back front and center. Suddenly, a face appeared behind the curtains of the door. His face was old and wrinkled and a scowl stretched across his countenance as he peered at Alex and Jerry momentarily before he opened the door.
The sound of five latches being disengaged from the other side before the big, brown door crept open. Dr. Rosenthall pressed his face into the lone clear, glass door that was separating them from each other. His nose was flattened as he scanned both of them while they stood on the porch. Alex glanced towards Jerry as he stood, visibly shaken by the presence of the Doctor. “You!” he said, pointing at Jerry from the other side of the glass door. “I’m sorry!” Jerry screamed as he tried to hide behind Alex.
Dr. Rosenthall snatched the door open and just then, a shorter, elderly woman appeared out of nowhere, “Albert, pipe down and move on out of the way!” she said, shoving Albert aside. She turned towards Alex and Jerry, a smile that was a sharp contrast from the scowl on Albert’s face. “We hardly EVER have company here, and whenever we do, this old crow-faced man does all he can to scare them off!”
“But Mother!” he hissed, “That is the man that lit Georgie on fire!”
“Pish-tosh! Georgie healed up just fine, and it was all an honest mistake, I’m sure! Let bygones be bygones!
She reached out her fragile hand towards Alex, “now, who is this gorgeous young man we have in front of us?” Alex smiled, “Hello, ma’am. I am Alex Rawlings, and this here is a good friend of mine, Jerry Luckett.” Jerry removed himself from behind Alex and shook the elderly woman’s hand, “Oh, my, he’s not bad looking either. Well, I’ll say, Albert, you’ve got some handsome friends,” she said, smiling suggestively at them. Albert hissed, “They are not my friends!”
“Oh, hush up!” she said, cutting her eyes at Albert, “Now, you two come on in and have a seat. If I had known you two were coming, I would have freshened up a little bit beforehand.”
“Mother, please!” Albert interjected.
She waved him off and led them into the living room. Everything was antique, from the couch to the tables and picture frames. They even had long candlesticks in the middle of the dining room table. Alex and Jerry sat down on the stiff, red velvet couch as the elderly woman sat just to the side of them. She smiled, laboring a bit to cross one of her legs over the other and expose a small portion of her thigh to the gentlemen. “Mother, please!” Albert said as Alex smiled awkwardly at her gesture.
“So, what brings you two handsome men on my side of town?”
“Well, it’s your ummm…,” Alex searched for the relationship between the two.
The elderly woman interjected, “My son?”
“Yes, your son. I was directed here by Jerry, and I believe that he has something that can help me with umm… some trouble that I am having.”
“Oh,” she said with a concerned look on her face, “Is it about, umm. Is it about your,” she whispered but it was still loud enough for everyone to hear, “Your private area,” she said, winking and pointing down at his pants.
Jerry covered himself, “No! No, ma’am! Not at all. I don’t have a problem keeping that ready to go.”
“Oh,” she said as she made a kiss with her lips, “that’s good to know.” She reached her hand out to feel Alex’s leg,
“Mother!” Albert said as he rushed and stood between them, “that is enough!” He looked at Alex and Jerry, “You and you! Follow me!”
They both got up without hesitation and followed Albert down into the basement of their home. His mother yelled out to them, “You all behave nicely with each other, now. Mama is going to go umm, freshen up. I’ll see you all before you leave.” Albert opened the basement door and stomped all the way down the stairs. He wasn’t a tall man at all, in fact, he was much shorter than both of them. He wore glasses, and the top of his head was balding with hair around the sides. He had a long, skinny string of hair that stretched down from his chin to the top of his chest. Both of his ears grew to a dull point like a gently flattened triangle top.
As they got to the interworking of the basement, it was like the laboratory of Frankenstein. Beacons of various colored liquids were simmering on boilers as short bursts of colored smoke escaped from the openings. Long tubes connected one beacon to the next as Dr. Rosenthall adjusted the temperature on one of them as it began to sing like a coffee pot. Jerry sat down on one of the stools and immediately, Albert hissed, “Who told you to sit down, you… you… dog burner!” Jerry hopped up out of the seat and out the corner of his eye, he saw Georgie curled up in his doggie bed. “Georgie!” he yelled out.
“Don’t you speak to him! The nerve of you! As a matter of fact,” he reached into his drawer and pulled out a glowing yellow potion, “this is for you!”
“Noooo! Alex, nooo! Stop him, please!” he said as he darted behind Alex.
Alex put his hand up, “Sir, um, Doctor Albert Rosenthall? I’ve come here to discuss business. If you don’t mind holding off on whatever cruel and unusual punishment you have for him for just a moment, I would appreciate it.”
“Just a moment?!” Jerry said frantically.
Albert peered at Jerry momentarily before he slid the potion back into the drawer, “And w
hat do you want?” he said as he walked around the basement, checking on the other beakers. “Listen, I’ve. I’ve got this woman that I like. I mean, I really like her a lot, and I want to get to know her, but the problem is, she hates me. She literally doesn’t want anything to do with me whatsoever.” Albert stopped and peered at Alex, crossing his arms over his chest as he used one hand to caress the lonely twine of chin hair that grew from the bottom of his face, “I see.” He smiled at Alex, seemingly enjoying the magnifying glass that was placed on his weakness. Albert was a twisted man, and he had moved in with his mother after he was released from a mental institution a few years after he met Jerry. Although he would never harm anyone intentionally, sometimes things just happened.
“So, you want me to help you get this woman to like you, is… that… right?” he said, his beady eyes peering at Alex from behind his glasses.
“Yes, Dr. Rosenthall. That is what I-”
“Silence!” he yelled out, “since you can’t get her to like you, yourself, you have come to the aid of this world renowned Doctor to fix your problem, huh?”
“Ye-”
“Shut your mouth!” he said as he pointed at Alex, his finger erect and shaking as he continued stroking the hair on his chin, “now, why should I help someone like you?” he said, as he began to tap his foot on the ground.
Alex looked at Jerry as Jerry shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what Alex should do next. Alex turned back around, “I just-”
“Shut up! Shut it, now! If I want an answer from you I’ll give it to myself!” he hissed.
Jerry and Alex looked at each other, completely confused as to what he said. “That didn’t make any sense,” Alex whispered to Jerry while the Doctor looked away from them. “Now, I may have something that could suit your needs just fine,” he said as he walked over to a cabinet next to the wall. He bent down to rub Georgie as he uttered some indecipherable mush to him, then he suddenly stood up and frantically searched through the cabinet. It wasn’t long before he pulled out a small bottle and malevolently smiled as he peered at Alex. “This,” Albert said, “will have any woman you desire crawling all over you in just thirty seconds.”
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