Awkward in Love

by Lily Adile Lamb

  “You slut. Instead of studying, you were sucking dicks and letting others suck yours?” John responded playfully.

  “Yeah. It was one time when this exchange student came to our town... Now where was I? Yes. I remember. I’m supposed to suck your dick, right?”

  He opened the buttons of his jeans, revealing red cotton underpants straining to hide John's erection. He nervously licked his lips and looked at John. He reached out to pull the underpants and jeans down, which was a struggle, but soon came off with John's help.

  “You stole my share of body hair!” Ilhan accused John playfully, trying to maintain an angry expression, but failing as lips lifted in a small smile.

  John's lazy smile grew as he opened his legs wider for Ilhan to move closer. “You going to whine or do something else with your mouth and hands, man?”

  Ilhan’s eyes were already on his darker shaded, much larger cock with an almost purple mushroom head. He seemed fascinated by the thick vein on the underside of his shaft, tracing his finger over it slowly. He pulled his finger away quickly, though, when John's cock jumped. Ilhan cupped the man's heavy, dark, hairy balls.

  When he brought his lips closer to the head of John’s cock with the skin pulled back, he whispered, “You smell sexy too.” The tip of his pink tongue slid over the slit where a small bead of cum sat. As he flicked his tongue around the tip, John took a sudden, deep breath.

  “Yeah. You can lick me there. I like that a lot,” he growled.

  When Ilhan took the mushroom head into his mouth in an effort to swallow him, John smiled tenderly. It was obvious, Ilhan wasn’t experienced enough and was trying hard to hide his gag reflex.

  “It's okay. Do it slowly. Get comfortable and do what feels right for you. The gag reflex is natural when you’re not used to sucking.” He pushed Ilhan's hair behind his ear. He liked watching him get used to his size and satisfy his curiosity. It was a huge turn on to see this virgin male experimenting and playing with his cock and balls.

  When it became too much, he stroked his cock and watched Ilhan eyeing his hand movements. John allowed him to push his hand aside so he could take over.

  “You’re learning fast. Yeah. I like being held tighter near the head,” John growled with his eyes closed which heightened his senses.

  So when he felt Ilhan's hot, wet mouth suckling the head of his cock again, he gasped. “Fuck, yeah. Keep doing that,” he whispered. When he was about to come, he warned Ilhan to give him a chance to move his head. But he showed no signs of moving and John allowed his orgasm to take over, spilling his cum into Ilhan’s mouth.

  He opened his eyes quickly to watch him swallowing his semen. At the same time, he masturbated himself with his other hand. When he was too sensitive, he gently pushed Ilhan away. “Stand up. I want to suck you again.”

  Ilhan, the brat, was no longer a brat, but an enthusiastic male. He stood up quickly and John took a long lick from his balls to the tip of his dick. Ilhan’s thighs shook and John wrapped his mouth around his shaft, to suck him greedily. When Ilhan came in John's mouth, he whimpered loudly and shuddered with deep pleasure. His knees sagged and John pulled him onto his lap for a cuddle.

  They sat in each other's arms until their hearts were beating slower and feeling calmer. Ilhan's face was hidden in his lover’s neck as John hugged him tightly.

  When John thought Ilhan was asleep, he slowly shifted to carry him to bed.

  “No. I’m awake. I was just enjoying you... Will you stay with me tonight?” he asked tentatively.

  “It's too soon. I want to go slowly with you, Ilhan,” John whispered against his ear.

  “We don't have to do anything. Just sleep here?” He knew John would stay the minute his arms tightened more and he nodded slowly.

  “Okay. I'll stay, but I need to go and bring my toothbrush and stuff.”

  “I have a spare toothbrush and razor... I don't want you going and changing your mind.” He tightened his arms and thighs around his man.

  “Fuck. I can't say no to you. Is this how it’ll be for us from now on?”

  Ilhan giggled and got off his lap.

  “Come on. Let's shower together!” He almost trotted to the bathroom. John shook his head and grinned. He nearly tripped over his jeans resting around his ankles. He quickly took them off and joined Ilhan in the en suite bathroom.

  While John turned on the water, Ilhan brought the extra towel and toothbrush. When he saw John under the shower, he hopped in, only to yelp loudly and jump out.

  “Fuck! We have no hot water.” He bounced around and wrapped himself in his big fluffy towel.

  John was in stitches when Ilhan squeaked and leapt out. “No. There’s nothing wrong with the water. This is my normal temperature for a shower. Don't you think it’s invigorating?”

  “What! Are you trying to freeze my nuts off, man! They must be sitting in my earlobes to warm up now!”

  “Get in here! Your nuts are fine.”

  “No way! My cock might develop frostbite and fall off.”

  “Get in here. I’ll keep you warm.”

  “Nuh-huh. Not coming until the water’s hot enough to defrost my bones.” He dug his heels in. When John laughed and turned on the hot water, Ilhan put his finger under the water to test it, but John grabbe4d him and pulled him into the shower.

  “Eeekkk! It‘s still cold.” He couldn't get out of the shower, though, as John hugged him tightly and laughed.

  When John washed Ilhan's hair and soaped his body, Ilhan washed John’s back in return.

  “See? I told you I’d keep you warm,” John murmured, hugging Ilhan to rinse them both.

  “Yes. You did,” Ilhan breathlessly replied against his chest. John turned off the water, and Ilhan went back to shivering again. John took the large towel and wrapped it around his man. “Here, I’ll dry you quickly so you can hop into bed.”

  Ilhan had never been treated so lovingly and intimately before. He let John rub him down and put him to bed under the quilt. John went back to the bathroom and got a smaller towel to put on Ilhan's pillow. Although he was still shivering, watching John dry himself to get ready for the night made Ilhan feel warmer, filling him with tingles and flutters all over his body.

  He watched John turn off the lights and open the window blinds. When he turned toward the bed, Ilhan lifted the quilt for John to slide in. They quietly looked into each other's eyes and slowly shifted to be closer to each other.

  “This is the first time I’ve been in bed with someone else, other than my mum when I was a kid,” Ilhan whispered.

  John turned his head and kissed him on the head. “The same for me too. I never stay over at any guy's place or let them sleep over at mine.”

  “You comfy?” murmured Ilhan.

  “Yeah...very comfy. You warm now?”

  “Very much...all toasty now,” he whispered.

  “I’m glad you’re toasty, but you’re like a furnace. I prefer the cold. Something about being colder means I sleep better.”

  “Hmm...and I love baking myself.”

  “Yeah. I noticed. By the way, I can’t believe you wear socks to bed, man.”

  “I can't help it. My feet get cold quickly. I’m happy to take them off if you let me put my feet between your legs?”

  “Man, really? I'll be boiling all night,” John complained as he hugged him tighter.

  “Yeah. But I bet you’ll find me very handy in the winter?”

  “Nope. I love the winter and we’re already in autumn...so how about that?”

  “Dandini dandini dastanaaaaaaa...hmmm…hmm...hmmm,” Ilhan hummed a silly tune.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Singing you a Turkish lullaby. Sshhh...close your eyes... Dandini, dandini dastanaaaaaaaaa...hhmmm…hmmm.”

  “You know it is not working, right? You’re still too warm, and I prefer to be cooler rather than warmer in the bed.”

  “Sshhhh...hmm…hmmm... Sleep, now…hmm…hmmm…” Ilhan continued to hum the tun
e which made John laugh, especially when Ilhan tried to rock him as well.

  “Us Turks often rock our kids gently while singing this lullaby.”

  “Something is seriously wrong here,” John murmured as Ilhan continued to hum the tune. “Okay…okay... I’ll sleep like that as long as you quit that whiny song-thingy.”

  “How dare you! I grew up with that heavenly tune.” Ilhan tried looking indignant, but failed because he made a piggy snort.

  “Did you just snort again?”

  “Shh... I can’t stop snorting when I laugh. Be gentle with me cos I can be hurt.”

  “No. You won't. I won't allow that.” He kissed Ilhan's head. “Now, sleep, cos I need to get up early for work.”

  “Okay...” Ilhan took a sleepy sigh and sunk into quietness.

  Neither let go of the other one until the morning.

  When John opened his eyes, he found Ilhan watching him. “Good morning.” He was still groggy.

  “Morning to you too. Did you know you make heavenly sounds when you sleep?”

  “Oh? Do I? What is that?” John asked, trying to wake up fully and catch up with Ilhan.

  “You snore,” Ilhan giggled.

  John suddenly playfully roared and attacked Ilhan, tickling him. “I never snore.”

  “You do!” a muffled voice squeaked under the quilt.

  “No, I don't! It's a lieeee!” John continued roaring in a dramatic way that could only compliment a slapstick Turkish comedy, or so Ilhan thought. He gleefully tried to tickle John, but once his fingers touched his side, John gasped and hopped off the bed to run to the bathroom.

  Ilhan evilly laughed. “Mwahahahaa.”

  When John came out of the bathroom, all refreshed, Ilhan made breakfast in the kitchen. He was wearing his bright green socks, cotton boxers and a short sleeved T-shirt. John thought he looked adorably sexy with his hair going everywhere—obviously not combed.

  “Come on. I made you coffee and prepared cereal. I wasn't sure what you normally have for breakfast.”

  “This is great. Thank you.” He went to hug Ilhan and kissed him at his own leisure. Then sat at the tiny table in front of the window.

  Once they’d had their coffee and eaten, John needed to leave for work.

  “Will I see you later? Or am I being pushy?” Ilhan asked hesitantly.

  “No. You’re not being pushy. Why don't you come to my place for dinner?”

  “Okay! I will. I'll bake something savory for us too when I come from uni.”

  “Great! You going to make those feta cheese and mint rolls?”

  “If that’s what you want.” Ilhan smiled at John and stood on his tiptoes, fishing for a kiss.

  John lowered his head and gave Ilhan a lazy, slow kiss. He whispered back against his lips. “Yes. I loved those tiny rolls you made before...and don't bother with the toothbrush, cos I have a spare one for you.” He grabbed his sexy lover by his buttocks and lifted him up for a long kiss. Ilhan was so light in his arms, so right. By the time he left the apartment, Ilhan looked flushed and breathless.

  CHAPTER EIGHT - Ilhan

  Ilhan stood in front of John’s flat, trying to hold the Turkish rolls with feta cheese and herbs in one arm and a bottle of wine between his legs. He wanted to brush his hair…just in case his was out of place. Fuck, I didn’t even get a chance to check my eye liner. I hope it stays on for eight hours as the brand says.

  “Oh! Hello, Ilhan. My. My. Don’t you look so handsome this evening,” John’s neighbour Alison chirped, startling Ilhan.

  “Alison! Wow! You scared the living daylights out of me!”

  “Sorry, love. Peter and I were about to go out for a walk. We didn’t mean to frighten you.” When Ilhan saw Peter behind Alison with a big grin on his face, Ilhan felt his cheeks burning.

  “That’s okay… Err…you two enjoy your walk.” Ilhan tried to smile, but failed, he felt deeply flushed and frantically knocked at John’s door.

  “Ilhan…son…I’m sure John heard you now,” Alison spoke soothingly.

  “Oh! Yes.” Ilhan laughed nervously. “You’re right.” He wished the ground would swallow him whole. He was sure Alison and Peter thought his behavior reeked of a nervous date.

  When he heard John opening the door, he quickly wished them a wonderful walk and practically threw himself into John’s apartment, smashing the door in his face.

  “What the f—? Ugh!” John held his nose in pain.

  “Oh, shit, John! I’m sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me,” Ilhan gasped when he noticed John’s nose bleeding.

  “It’s okay. No. It’s not okay. Fuck. That hurts.” John moaned.

  Ilhan put the baking tray and bottle of wine on the floor and guided John into the bathroom.

  “Come here. Let me check your nose. Fuck. I’m so sorry. Alison and Peter startled me. Here…sit on the toilet so I can check your nose.”

  “No. It’s fine. Just give me a minute to recover. The stinging is going away already.”

  “No. Pull your hand down, mate, so I can see the damage.” Ilhan pulled toilet paper from the roll to gently dab John’s nose.

  “Here…hold the tissues while I wet a towel to wipe your face… Look up… Thank God. The bleeding’s reduced.” He gently dabbed the wet towel on John’s nose and lips to clean him.

  “What was that about?” John mumbled as Ilhan cleaned his face.

  “Come here. Just lie on your back for a while.” He gently guided the injured man to his bed. “I’m not out yet. When I saw them, I panicked and rushed in. I’m so sorry.” He spoke quietly as he helped John to lie on his back. Once he was reassured John was comfortable and the bleeding had stopped, he allowed himself to lie down beside him.

  “Come here.” John pulled Ilhan to rest his head on his chest carefully. “It’s okay. It was an accident. No one in the block knows about me, either. I understand, but I think we need to talk about this. We keep spending evenings together. Someone is bound to notice what’s going on between us, you know,” John said softly, enjoying Ilhan’s soothing strokes on his abdomen.

  “So, what are you saying?” Ilhan took a deep sigh, feeling his heart beat increasing.

  “I think there’s something good happening between us…you know,” John continued casually as he reached out to hold the other man’s hand.

  Ilhan swallowed hard, uncertain how to proceed from here. “John, my family doesn’t know about my sexuality,” he replied. His heart thudded painfully.

  “Tell me more. I want to know more about you.”

  Ilhan slowly sat up, facing the other man, feeling unsure and troubled.

  “They’re proper Turks. They immigrated to Australia before I was born, but they never forgot about their heritage. Every summer, we went to Turkey to be with family. They’re all in Turkey… My grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, you name it. They’re from a small town called Konya. Most of the relatives still live there, busy with farming. A few of the cousins live in other cities after finishing university, but…they’re still very Turk, you know. I’m scared of my dad’s reaction.”

  As he spoke, he wrung his hands in agitation, which made John feel protective toward him. He reached for Ilhan’s face to bring him closer to his, and looked into his frightened dark green-eyes. Bringing Ilhan’s forehead closer to his lips, he kissed him gently.

  “It will be okay. You’ll see. You don’t have to say anything to anyone until you’re ready. I just wanted you to know, I’m okay if people find out about us. I like being with you. It feels right to see you in my home,” said John softly as he tapped their hands where his heart was beating strongly.

  Ilhan shifted toward John, bringing their lips closer and whispered, “I feel the same way. I’ve been feeling like that for a long time. I love being around you. You take my breath away with your quirky humor, gentleness, passion...everything. I think you’re an awesome guy.”

  John pulled Ilhan to him, guiding his leg so he could straddle him. He didn’t let go, holding t
hem possessively.

  “We shall sort everything out slowly and carefully. You know I don’t have any family but I’m hoping yours will accept us. It would be great to go together one day, you know…for Christmas or something like that.”

  Ilhan thought how this strong man, who could be so calm and sort out just about anything, now looked unsure of himself. He took a deep breath and smiled slowly.

  “We’ll work together to win them.” He touched John’s cheeks to reassure him. He gazed into his eyes for a few seconds and then kissed his cheeks, his nose and finally his lips.

  CHAPTER NINE - John

  John felt a shiver pass through his body at Ilhan’s words. He brought his arms around his slender body to hug him tighter, resting his cheek against his.

  He whispered, feeling choked up, “Okay. We’ll work together.” He wasn’t sure how long they snuggled together or if he cared, but his grumbling stomach told a different story.

  The man on top of him snickered and snorted.

  “Where’s your compassion, man? First, you injured me. Now you’re laughing at my starved state?” John spoke as if he was deeply wounded. Ilhan might have believed him if his voice wasn’t so dramatically loud.

  “No. We can’t have you starving and withering away. You stay here. I’ll make us something to eat here,” Ilhan said, gently patting John’s abdomen.

  “What? Eat on the bed?”

  “Uh-huh. We’ll have a mini picnic here cos of your injured state.” Ilhan jumped off the bed and left the room before giving John an opportunity to respond.

  Well. This is new. I don’t ever remember eating in the bed before, John mused with a smile on his face. While Ilhan prepared their picnic, John used the bathroom, having a quick shave and shower. He put on clean boardies and a T-shirt. Ilhan was already placing a can of cola on each side of the bedside drawers.

  “Get under the blanket. I’ll be back in a minute,” Ilhan said as he walked out of the bedroom.

  John got under the blanket, feeling special and pampered.