"We'll be all right," Maya says. "You need to lay low for a while after this."
"Yeah. I should probably go, in fact. My parents are going to be wondering where I am." Jackie pulls out of Maya's arms and stands up. But she doesn't actually leave. She just stands there and stares at the mouth of the valley for a long minute. "Hey. Can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure," Maya says.
"Lashontae."
"I…what?"
"It's my name. Lashontae." Jackie doesn't look at her. "I don't think my parents realize I remember it. Helen hated it. She thought other people would make fun of her for having a kid with a 'ghetto' name, so they just started calling me the short version of my last name, like it was some way to honor my roots or something."
Maya ponders that for a moment. "Lashontae," she says carefully.
"Yeah." Jackie gives her a sad little smile. "That's my name."
"Do you want me to call you that?" Maya asks.
"Not really," Jackie says. "I just wanted somebody to know." She zips up her jacket. "I'll see you later."
She climbs over the edge of the roof onto the fire escape, and she's gone without another word.
*~*~*
Jackie knows she's going to be in deep trouble by the time she gets home. It's been dark for well over an hour. Her family will be eating dinner and wondering where the hell she is. If anyone has told Nick about how she was 'injured' during training, they're going to know something's up. If somebody connects that to the failed raid, she could be in real trouble.
She stands by the fence and for a moment entertains the idea of just not going back. She could hook back up with the Callaghan pack. They'd make it somehow. Even without access to the patrol schedules, she still knows a lot about how the militia operates, and she could be an asset.
With a sigh, she lets that fantasy go. As much as she'd like to go curl back up in Maya's arms—something that is definitely going to keep her up at night—it won't do. She's not done with the Donovans yet. Not until she gets her chance at Mitchell. So she waits until the rotating spotlights have moved away before climbing over the fence and heading back home.
She's sure that Nick is going to be pacing angrily and Helen's going to have that pinched expression of disapproval when she gets there. So she's surprised to find them sitting down at the dinner table and eating without concern. Valerie looks up as she comes in, and a bright smile crosses her face. "Hey! How was your date?"
"My—it was, uh, it was great," Jackie says, fumbling a little but recovering well. "You know, I had a good time."
"Did you eat?" Helen asks.
"No, we uh, we just walked around the edge of the complex," Jackie says, hoping that she won't blow whatever cover has miraculously sprung up out of nowhere. "We got a drink down at the commissary but we didn't eat anything." She sits down at her place and accepts the platter of baked chicken that Helen hands her. Her stomach growls accordingly. She thinks of the thin, hungry looks of the people in town, and shoves it aside. She needs to keep her strength up if she's going to be any use to anyone.
Nick is smiling at her. "You should have him over for dinner this weekend."
"I will absolutely ask him," Jackie says, hoping it's not somebody she can't stand.
She catches Valerie's eye. Valerie smiles at her and says, "Does anyone mind if I have the last leg?"
"Go ahead," Helen tells her daughter, and then starts talking to Nick about what supplies she's asked for from the next supply run. Jackie takes the opportunity to fill her face and avoid having to talk. She ducks out of the room as soon as she's able, doing the dishes in a frenzy.
She's barely sat down on the edge of her bed when there's a knock on the door and Valerie pokes her head in. "What's up?" she asks, and Valerie comes in and shuts the door behind herself. "Uh oh."
Valerie grabs her desk chair and turns it around so she can straddle it backwards and face her sister. "So!" she says. "Since I know you weren't actually on a date with Henry, where were you?"
"Oh, Henry," she says, with a touch of relief. Henry's one of the boys she used to go to school with. He never joined the militia, because his asthma is too bad. He's nice, though, so she can totally bring him over for dinner without it being a catastrophe. "Wait, what?"
Valerie gives her an impish smile. "I happened to be down at HQ today because Mom had asked me to bring a list of requests to Leo about supplies. Then I got cornered by Dalton," she adds, rolling her eyes, "who wanted me to admire his war wounds and comfort me in my sudden singleton status, so I was still there when I saw you limp out of the infirmary. When I got home and you weren't here, I figured you were up to something, so I told Mom and Dad that you had a date with Henry and might not be home in time for dinner."
"Geez, do I owe you one," Jackie says, huffing out a breath.
"Yes, you do," she says, "which is why you're now going to tell me where you actually were."
Jackie grimaces. "Look," she says, "you have to promise you won't tell Mom and Dad. Or Uncle Leo. Or anybody."
"I won't tell a soul," Valerie says, drawing a heart over her chest.
She can't tell Valerie the truth, that's obvious, but she knows her too well for her to believe a lie. So a partial truth will be the best way to handle this. "Sometimes I sneak supplies to the town," she says. "You know, Mitchell insists on hoarding all the good stuff for himself. The folks in town get the basics, but they don't—there are a lot of people who go without a lot of stuff. So once a month, a couple weeks after the shipment comes in and people are starting to run low on things, I bring some stuff down into town. That's all."
Valerie chews on her lower lip. "Like, what stuff? Mom always says they get everything they need."
Jackie thinks back to what Kyra had said. "Everything they need, yeah. Have you ever gone through your period without tampons?"
"What? Yuck, no."
Jackie just gives her a look.
"They don't get tampons?" Valerie asks, aghast.
"They don't get tampons. They don't get painkillers—Mrs. Mendoza has arthritis, and she cries when I bring her Tylenol." This is true. Jackie has made friends with more people than the Callaghan pack. Some of the humans in town are still sympathetic to the supernatural creatures, and they help Jackie keep track of everyone. "They get toothpaste but they don't get floss. How about sunscreen? A lot of these people do manual labor outside all day. We've had two cases of skin cancer in the past six months."
"How do you know all this?" Valerie asks.
"Because I talk to these people, Val. Because I go on patrols and I talk to people and actually listen to what they have to say."
"But I thought…" Valerie looks confused, and a little bit sad. Jackie sympathizes with her. Up until five minutes ago, Valerie thought the people in town had everything they needed. She thinks of her family, of the militia, as benevolent providers. She thought they took care of the town. "Do we go short, if you bring them this stuff?"
"No," Jackie says. "We've got more than enough. Mitchell hoards things because he doesn't know what we'll get or when we'll get it." She thinks again of the lies that Mitchell tells, of the shipments of supplies that Leo brings back. Is it even remotely possible that all Leo does is drive to a grocery store two towns over? Or some bulk store where he can buy truckloads of stuff without it seeming bizarre?
If the rest of the world has settled down, did anyone even notice what happened to Cold Creek? Is there some hapless census taker out there right now, wondering why he can't get a hold of anyone there? Wouldn't the IRS notice? It's questions like these that make Jackie think that there is some truth in Mitchell's lies.
But really, if the war outside was over, if the dust had settled, would anyone think to look for a small town in the Colorado mountains? Maybe they were still trying to reassemble the country, and nobody had yet gotten around to an isolated little town that nobody had heard from.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
"Maybe he's right," Valerie says, drawin
g Jackie back to the present.
"Maybe he is," Jackie says. "But I'd rather share what we have now. I'd rather we all go down together than sit on my throne and watch other people suffer in silence."
Valerie's quiet for a minute. "I won't tell anyone," she says, "if you let me go with you next time."
Jackie blinks. "What? No. It's too dangerous."
"I'm a Donovan too." Valerie's chin tilts up in that stubborn expression that Jackie knows there's no arguing with. "I want to help people. If Grandpa isn't helping them, then I will."
"Jesus," Jackie mutters. She'll need to do some prep for this. Reach out to a few people in town, figure out what supplies will work best. "Fine. But it'll be a few weeks. I just went, obviously, and I can't do it that often. So just…relax, okay? I'll see what I can do."
"Okay," she says. She hesitates, then adds, "I'm glad you're helping them, Jackie."
"Yeah," she says. "Me too." She waits until Valerie has left the room, then lies back on her bed, drags the pillow over her face, and sighs.
Chapter Five
Ryan doesn't anger easily, but by the time Maya has gotten two sentences into her patient lecture, he's furious. He's cold and tired and he hasn't eaten in almost three days. They hadn't had a chance to compile their spoils before the raid, and then he had spent most of the next two days making sure Gabby had her fill. All he wants is to have some food and then get some sleep, but instead he has to listen to this drivel.
"Hang on a second," he says, interrupting Maya. "I want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly. We nearly all got killed because Mama's Boy here didn't cover his tracks. And your solution for this is to give him a stern look and tell him that you understand his pain?"
Maya scowls. So does Jared, but that doesn't concern Ryan. He doesn't care what Jared thinks. "How I deal with my betas is none of your business."
Ryan realizes in that moment that he made a mistake. He's tired and short-tempered, and he came at Maya wrong. Maya is always on the defensive, and he's just gotten his sister's back up. "Fair enough," he says, raising his hands in mock surrender. "But I hope you see my point."
Maya huffs out a breath. "Jared," she says, "you have to be more careful. I know that it's hard to lose your mother. God knows that I know that. But you're putting her in danger too."
Jared's scowl doesn't fade, but he does look away, embarrassed. "I do all the things I'm supposed to. I always take different routes, we never meet in the same place twice. I try to make sure I'm not being followed. I don't know what else you want me to do."
"How often do you see her?" Maya asks.
"Every couple of weeks."
Ryan doesn't need the shifting look in Jared's eyes to tell him that that's a lie. Maya apparently doesn't either, because her jaw tightens and her fists clench. "Tell me the truth."
Jared rubs a hand over the back of his head. "Okay, it's more like twice a week. But I can't just abandon her. She needs my help, she can't get to some of the places I can get to, so she doesn't have access to the water purification tablets and—"
"You're giving her our supplies?" Maya asks, and even several of the other pack members look affronted at this.
"Only those! We don't need them as much as a human does—"
"You know that Jackie risks her life to bring us those supplies, right?" Maya asks, and Ryan glances over at her, interested. It isn't exactly the part that he would have expected her to get hung up on. "Jesus Christ, Jared. If you had asked me, I would have told you what was and wasn't okay to bring. I would have given you some of the water tablets—"
"Oh, well, pardon me for not expecting generosity from you," Jared snaps back, "since every other time my mother comes up, you treat me like I'm the asshole for wanting to be able to help her."
Ryan half-expects Maya to blow her stack, but instead his sister visibly stops and takes a deep breath, calming down. "Look," she says, "I know that your mother is important to you. And I'm sorry if I've been a jerk about it in the past. We're all in this together, and we need to cooperate. But you have to be more careful."
"We're all fine, though," Jared says. "Maya, we're fine. Jackie warned us about the raid."
"Damn it, Jared, we can't rely on that," Maya says. "Jackie only barely made it here in time. That might not always happen. And the more risks she takes, the more likely it is that she'll get caught, and then nobody will be warning us about anything. So if you can agree to visit your mother once a week, and only bring her what I say is okay, then we can deal with this and move forward from here. But if you—"
"That's your solution?" Ryan speaks up from his corner. "Maya, that's not acceptable. He's risking all our lives—including Jackie's," he adds, since Maya seems to have a bee in her bonnet about that. "Miranda Cooper is an adult woman who made her own choices. I seem to recall specifically telling her when we took Jared in that their contact would have to be minimal for everyone's safety."
Jared's growling, but Maya stays calm. "It's his mother," she says.
"Yeah, but you know what, it's not fair." Surprisingly, it's Marcus who speaks up. "I cut off contact with my entire family. Dominic hasn't seen his mom since he got here. We all have to follow the rules. What makes Jared so special that he doesn't?"
"The difference is that my mother had to go underground," Jared says. "Your families are all living mundane lives; they get supplies from the Donovans like everybody else because the Donovans think you guys just ran away or got killed or something. My mother had to give that up because General Donovan thought she might know where I'd gone."
The betas look at each other, uncertain. Jared has a point, but so does Marcus.
"Bend the rules for Jared, and how long will it be before the others think you can bend them for them too," Ryan says. "They won't tell you. They'll just sneak away. And sooner or later we'll be caught. And I, for one, am not going to die for Jared's motherly love."
Maya takes another deep breath. "This pack," she says, "this family is all we have. If anyone has a problem with my letting Jared help his mother, speak up now and we'll deal with it."
Uneasy silence falls.
"We stick together," Maya says. "It's safest for everyone. Jared, one visit per week, and you don't go alone anymore. Someone will go with you to watch from high ground and make sure neither of you are followed in or out. Is that clear?"
"Yeah," Jared says.
"Maya, this is not acceptable," Ryan says, unable to fathom how he's losing this argument.
Maya stays surprisingly calm. "Ryan, if I forbid him from seeing his mother, it won't make a difference. He'll do it anyway. He's pretty much proven that. If he's willing to abide by reasonable limits to keep everyone safe, then I don't see where the problem is."
"A beta who won't follow orders is a beta not worth having," Ryan says.
"This from you?" Maya asks, eyebrows arching. "When the hell have you ever listened to anything I say?"
"I'm not your beta," Ryan says. "I'm your brother. I'm not even that. My father married your mother. That's it. I've stayed with you and this pack and risked my own skin because of that. But I won't sit here and let you risk my life because you've developed a soft spot at all the wrong times."
"Then leave," Jared says, scowling at him. "We don't need you anymore. We have Jackie now."
Ryan looks straight at Maya and says, "You're going to get all of these kids killed without me. And you know that."
Maya's jaw tightens. "If you have a problem with how I run my pack, the door's to your left."
Ryan snarls despite himself. "Fine," he says. "Just don't expect me to cry at your funeral."
He turns and walks out the door without another word.
*~*~*
"Hey, Solomon," Jackie says, jogging through the healer's door. "Brought you some supplies," she adds, setting her bag down. It's not anything particularly exciting. Gauze, syringes, some rubbing alcohol. But for Cold Creek's only remaining doctor, it's invaluable. Almost everybody comes to him
when they need medical help, and it's the reason Mitchell hasn't caught him yet. The militia has eyes and ears everywhere, but even their most fervent supporters know that they don't provide much in the way of medical care. Solomon's magic can't heal everything, but it certainly doesn't hurt.
Miranda Cooper had used his clinic as a base of operations since she had gone underground. For more grievous injuries or illnesses, he can usually get in touch with her. He keeps careful track of all the supernatural creatures in Cold Creek, and he treats them too, when they need it. They move around so much that Jackie can't keep track of all of them to bring supplies without his help.
"Thank you, Jackie," Solomon says, accepting the bag. "What are the odds you can get me some antibiotics next time? Lucy Welch keeps getting ear infections and there's only so much I can do for her. Miranda said that if her fever spikes much higher, there could be permanent damage."
"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Jackie says. "I'm gonna need a favor in return," she adds, and Solomon raises an eyebrow. "Valerie wants to come with me on my next supply run."
"Oh dear," Solomon says, as reserved as ever.
"Yeah. She's got a bee in her bonnet now about how maybe, just maybe, her family members aren't the benevolent caretakers she thought they were. So she wants to help me out. But I don't think she'd take very well to the people I actually smuggle supplies to. So can you find some poor, pathetic townsfolk who need some stuff, tell me what it is, and then tell them to act really grateful when I show up, like it happens all the time?"
Solomon gives a quiet snort. "I think I can arrange something of that nature, yes."
"Great. I'll be back in a couple days with those antibiotics." Jackie hops off the counter.
"But I don't think it's going to work out quite the way you think it will," Solomon adds.
"Why not?"
"Is your sister anything like you?"
Jackie frowns. "Well, I guess. How exactly do you mean it?"
"Is she stubborn in all the wrong ways and far too smart for her own good?"
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