“We’re already broke,” I said tiredly. “Why spend perhaps our entire eating budget for the month on Caviar?”
“I still don’t get what the problem is,” she argued.
Maddie turned to her. “Stop being so dense. Caviar is rich people’s food. Not for the broke and struggling.”
“Are you joking? Caviar is not that expensive.”
I stared dumbfounded at her, but I shouldn’t. Ella’s parents are moderately rich and she has had little luxuries all her life. Even now she lives with her parents. Maddie is from a firmly working class background.
Maddie held her hand up to her forehead. “I think she does this purposely.” After a few seconds, she moved her gaze to me. “How bad is it? Are we talking repossession anytime soon?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked too deeply, but I know the boutique is struggling.”
The room went totally silent again until Maddie took my hand. “You’ll get through this, Freya,” she assured me. “You'll be fine.”
“That’s what you all said to me when—” I still couldn’t bring myself to say it. Sometimes, I could have sworn that it was all still just a dream. Some cold distant dream that I was bound to wake up from. I straightened my spine and went on, “It’s been a year, and I’m still not fine. Nothing is fine.”
“You’ve smiled again,” Ella pointed out. “Remember we watched Sex and the City for days after to get through it all, and you asked the same question Carrie did. ‘Will I ever smile again?’ Well, you have.”
My smile was dark. “It was the wrong question. What I should have asked was, will I ever stop crying? Big didn’t die, my father did.”
Maddie rubbed my knee in calming motions.
I shook my head to push it all aside. “There's no point for any of this,” I said. “I’ll have to give up Uni and get a full-time job.”
“You can't give up Uni!” Maddie protested. “I already had to give it up and our dear princess here is barely thriving in hers. We both need you to graduate, get a good job and help us out.”
“I’m not even offended,” Ella said, and rose to head into the kitchen. “I didn’t sign up for this goddamn tough world.”
We both turned to watch her dancing to the music in her head as she poured some of Maddie’s table wine into a plastic cup.
“How I wish I was that carefree,” I muttered.
“She can afford the luxury,” Maddie replied, in a hushed tone. “She still has her parents. We both don’t.”
I began to stretch out on the sofa to sleep.
Maddie pulled me back up. “You can’t sleep. We have to figure out this home repossession thing.”
“Not tonight. I can’t take any more of life’s bullshit today.”
Ella returned with her wine and kicked the sofa in agreement. “Get up. Let’s brainstorm. We’re good when we put our heads together.”
“How much does your mother’s apartment cost?” Maddie asked.
I popped one eye open. “Why? You want to buy it from my mom?”
“Sure, let me just make sure I can pay my rent this month first.”
I smiled weakly.
“No, really,” she insisted. “How much did your mom borrow off her home?”
“I don’t know. I was too shocked to take it all in properly. I’ll look tomorrow.”
Maddie looked at me sadly. “I think I’m going to cry.”
“It’s alright,” I consoled both her and myself. “It’s not a big deal, just a small hiccup. I’ll get through it. I’ll drop out of Uni and it’ll all be fine.”
That was when Ella suddenly dropped her bombshell, “I know how you can get at least fifty thousand pounds overnight.”
Freya
Maddie sat up from her bean bag, while my eyes narrowed with a mixture of skepticism and dangerous hope. For the longest time, none of us said a word, Maddie and me because we didn’t know what to make of Ella’s statement and Ella because she was milking every last drop of drama from the situation.
“Are you joking?” Maddie asked, finally.
“Why would I?” Ella shot back.
“How?” I noticed the slight vein bulging in Ella’s temple. That was her mark of honesty. She wasn’t kidding.
“Yeah, how?" Maddie asked, her eyes filled with curiosity.
If Ella had any hope of using the same method for herself, they were immediately dashed by Ella’s next words, “You can’t participate, Maddie, and neither can I. Only Freya can.”
“Why is that, then?” Maddie asked, her tone had become cynical.
“Do I have to sell a lung or something?” I asked.
“Not exactly.”
I immediately sat up. “Then what do I have to sell?”
Ella hesitated, her gaze roving between Maddie and I. “Think. What is it you have that Maddie doesn’t?”
“Fucking talk, for the love of God!” Maddie exploded.
“Calm down.” Ella chuckled. “It’s just a virginity auction.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Maddie asked.
“Haven’t you heard? It’s a big thing now. Instead of just giving it away, lots of girls are selling it at auction.” She got up and headed to the refrigerator.
“Hang on a minute,” Maddie squealed suddenly. “Freya’s still a virgin?"
Both Ella and I turned to frown at her.
She covered her mouth with a hand in amusement. “Sorry, I always thought you were messing about.”
Ella returned with a bowl of grapes.
“Can you please stop giving it to us in dribs and drabs and just spit it out,” Maddie said, her eyes flashing with impatience.
“Hold your horses, girl … I’m just about to do exactly that. The auctions are held in this very exclusive club. It’s called the Blue Butterfly. I heard of it from a friend.”
I immediately lost interest at the hearsay tag, but Maddie’s interest diminished not a bit. “Fifty thousand just for a night? You’re exaggerating.”
“I’m not,” Ella replied. “Thirty thousand is usually what an intact hymen goes for, but some girls, the really beautiful ones, have walked away with fifty, sixty, even seventy grand. The sky’s the limit. Just depends on the girl and how badly the guy wants her. With Freya’s figure and looks, I don’t see why she shouldn’t achieve a high sum either.”
Maddie was stunned speechless.
Whereas, I didn’t believe a word of this. “This actually happened to your friend?”
“No, to her friend’s sister.”
“Yeah, right ‘a friend of a friend’,” she said, making air quotes.
“I know it sounds totally unbelievable, but honestly, she’s a straight kind of person. I wouldn’t mention it otherwise.”
“What exactly does it entail?” Maddie asked.
Ella plopped a grape into her mouth. “It’s a club owned by this mysterious and secretive billionaire. You have to be someone in the inner-circle to be a member. Its main activity is to promote experiences of extreme pleasure, whatever that means, but that of course has nothing to do with the virgin thing. That is a special, I believe, once a month event at the club.”
“The girls go through an auction?” Maddie asked.
“Yeah,” Ella replied.
Maddie inched closer to her, and hung onto her every word.
I fished out my phone to check the message coming through. It was my mother apologizing. I put the phone back into my pocket. I was beginning to feel slightly ill in the pit of my stomach. I looked up and saw Ella watching me intently.
“Girls can auction off their virginity to the highest bidder. All they have to do is set a reserve price, and from there onwards, the price can get as high as the market decides. An ex-Ukrainian beauty queen walked off with one hundred and fifty thousand. An Arab prince bought her.”
“An Arab prince?” Maddie asked. “So after you’re bought, what happens?”
“Okay, I don’t know all the details, but from what she told me
, you spend the night with the man, soil the club’s sheets, and leave when it’s over. It’s in the club’s rules that you can’t be forced to do anything sick or violent unless you both mutually agree on that. You are also advised to use a condom. Since the whole affair takes place at the club, security is provided, unless of course, both you and the client insist on taking it elsewhere, which is not recommended and you have to sign a document releasing them of all liabilities if anything should happen to you.”
“And after that one night …”
“You never have to meet up with him again, unless you want to, of course. Oh, and because it’s all celebrities, billionaires, and royalty that attend these auctions, you sign an NDA.”
Maddie nodded. “So, I’m assuming a doctor’s physical exam is involved somewhere. Otherwise, anyone could just lie that they are a virgin, right?”
Ella turned to her in surprise. “You’re surprisingly detailed in mischief.”
Maddie sighed miserably. “It’s a gift and a curse.”
“You’re beautiful, Freya,” Ella said in the softest of tones. “You could easily come away with at least fifty thousand. It could really help you out, but think about it long and hard. Don’t force yourself into anything you’ll regret one day. There are other routes to take to help your mother. They’ll just be slower and full of painful sacrifices, like giving up your education and moving into a housing estate.”
I clasped my hands together. “What would you do, Ella, if you were in my shoes?”
Her answer was simple. “You both know I was basically raped for my first time and it hasn’t been all that wonderful most times since then either, so I would be the first in line at that club. Especially, if it would help my mother.”
“Mine was with that bastard, Derek,” Maddie said. “He was only special until after the fact. I still can’t believe he jumped out of bed after the bloody ordeal and said he had to meet his mates at the pub. Fucking demon.”
Ella covered her mouth to contain her giggle.
“Anyway, Freya,” Maddie continued. “I know you’ve always wanted your first time to be with someone special, but in my opinion, perfection is overrated, or perhaps doesn’t even exist. I’m not saying you should do this, but speaking from experience, don’t let such an old-fashioned and stupid idea hold you back. I’ve yet to meet a girl who told me her first time was special. It’s awkward, messy and a bit painful too. As feminists, we own our bodies. We can do whatever we want with them.”
I blinked a couple of times to be sure that it was Maddie speaking, then I shook my head. “The two of you can dress it up any way you want, but this is just prostitution, pure and simple.”
Ella turned to me. “Actually, Freya, most relationships between men and women have an element of transaction to it. It may not be hard cold cash, but excuse me, what is dinner and a movie, an all paid for weekend in Paris, or even a wedding ring? I would have no problem doing it, especially for such a noble cause, but you are different than me and I don’t want this to taint you. If I’m being honest, then I have to admit that your first time is probably going to be a billionaire weasel who looks like Carlos Sim or Warren Buffet, or worse, the living dead himself, George Soros. There isn’t a muscle to share between the three of them.”
Maddie and I stared at her.
She took a deep breath and went on. “I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t want this thing to change you, so I’m sorry I even brought it up in the first place. You’ll have to make some painful sacrifices, but you and your mother will get through this.”
I didn’t need Ella to tell me. I knew in my heart from the moment she mentioned an auction—I was never doing something like that.
Freya
By the time I went home, it was late and my mother had already gone to bed, but she had left the caviar out for me and a sweet little note telling me she loved me. It had little love hearts drawn all over it with red ink.
I sat down at the kitchen table and looked around me. We lost our fine home and it looked as if my mom was almost definitely going to lose this little apartment too, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to be sad. I was determined I would find a way to solve our problem … without selling myself to the highest bidder.
I decided then to quit university and find a proper job that would help support us. I also intended to go through the accounts of my mother’s boutique. I would either try to revive the business, or if the situation was too bad, tie up the loose ends and get rid of it. It was time my mother stopped living in fantasy land and woke up to the reality of our new situation.
Once I had made that decision, I felt better, freer than I had since Dad died. I made a slice of toast, spread the caviar on it and ate it. I knew it was the last time I was going to be eating anything this luxurious for a long, long time. When it was all gone, I wiped the table clean of crumbs and went to bed.
By the time I woke up Mom had left the apartment. She left a note that she had a hairdressing appointment. I put the note down and sighed. Obviously, I was not begrudging Mom a trip to the hairdresser, but her hairdresser cost nearly a thousand a visit.
We were both going to have to make a lot of changes and sacrifices.
Just before I headed off to Uni, I called Martin to find out if my mother was at the boutique. He said she had just popped out and told me to come over as there was some leftover cake, Marie, the cleaner, had baked and brought to work. I loved her baking so I headed there.
I arrived at the store and felt a pang of sadness at the sight of it. We were in this mess partly because of me. In the heat of the moment, I’d forgotten that I hadn’t put up much of a fight when she wanted to open this place. I guess we were both reeling from my father’s death. The way he died. I just wanted to make her happy again.
I had known that owning a high-end boutique had been one of her dreams when she was younger. It was only superseded by being married to a wealthy man and playing the part of a socialite.
As I waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, I saw a woman walk in. With her bright red heels and long black coat, she seemed like just the demographic that my mother’s store aimed to cater to. Perhaps my mother was seeing her customer of the day, that is what my heart hoped.
I saw Martin hurrying up to welcome her, but at the sight of her, he came to a dead stop and actually began to retreat.
The light turned green, and keeping my gaze on the store, I crossed the road and stopped by the window. I don’t know why I didn’t go in. I guess I knew I was about to witness something important.
With his hand up, he appeared to tell her to wait. Then he hurried away to the back.
I watched, wondering what was going on.
Then my mom showed up, her reading glasses on her nose. My mother was the vainest person I know so she loathed them and only put them on when no one could see her, and for her to forget and come out into the front shop with them on, must mean something extremely serious was going down. She went towards the woman and listened as the woman launched into an animated monologue.
My mom tried to speak, several times, but the woman would cut her off and eventually her voice rose, and despite the bustle of the people around me, and endless stream of vehicles passing by, I could still hear her voice.
And that was not okay.
My mom was watching her with a placating, almost bewildered look.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I took a step forward, ready to barge in and give the woman a piece of my mind, when she turned and began to go through the racks of clothes. As she did so, she began to snatch dresses and blazers off the racks.
My mom went after her, trying to speak and hold on to the clothes to stop the woman from taking them away. It was then I realized what was happening. I froze and took a step back so I was hidden by one of the large potted plants on either side of the door.
Although, it hurt so much to do so, I forced myself to wait. My mom had to be the one to handle this on her own, or I might make matters worse.
The woman was probably a supplier whom my mom had defaulted on payments to.
My heart ached as the woman piled a heap of clothes in her arms. The whole time, my mom followed behind her pathetically pleading with her as she went through the store.
I couldn’t take it anymore, but yet, I couldn’t bring myself to move because I knew that it would hurt my mom more than anything to know that I was a witness to her humiliation. I blinked back tears for my mother. How life had changed for her.
Then suddenly, my mother rushed towards the woman and tried to pull the clothes back.
I watched in disbelief. Oh, Mom! Just let her take them and go.
But my mom wouldn’t let go, until the woman got tired of the tussle and threw the clothes at her. At that moment I forgot my earlier intention to let my mother handle the situation. I stormed into the boutique, and I was just in time to hear my mother’s plea.
“They’ve been paid for,” she cried pitifully, her gaze to the ground. “The clients will be coming tonight to pick them up.”
“That was what you said last month,” the woman screamed into my mother’s face.
I couldn’t move.
“Catherine,” my mother begged the woman. “We need this sale to be able to survive this month.”
“Evelyn!” she called my mother by her first name, and my mouth fell open. “If I don’t get these clothes back to the office, I will not have a job by the end of today and there is no way I’m getting fired because you’re in over your head.”
My mom placed her hands together as if in prayer. “Please, Catherine. Please? Give me one more day. The credit card sales will register tomorrow and I’ll give you the money in cash if you want. Please. The client who bought these is a huge one, and it will bring us the opportunity of more business, which just means more business for you. They will be coming for a fitting at lunchtime, and if these clothes aren’t here, I might as well close down the shop right now and go out of business. I’m begging you, just give me today.”
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