“I’m financially secure now, Mom. I’m sorry, but I’m keeping my baby.” I turned around to leave.
Her voice softened into a tone that I couldn’t ignore. “Freya," she called. “I can’t stand by and watch you become tangled up with that man in any way. He is ruthless. And even if you decide to keep the child, in the future, when he finds out about it, he might end up taking it from you and leaving you with absolutely nothing but fury and regret. Wash your hands of him and move on with your life. I beg of you.”
My head felt like it might split into two as I continued on my way to my room.
“Freya,” she called after me. “Freya!”
I slammed the door shut and locked it behind me.
Freya
I was awoken by Maddie’s text later that evening.
Are you in love with him?
I gazed at the message. As I was contemplating even responding to it, another one came in.
Your mom called me.
She says your door is locked.
You might not want to talk right now but call me soon. Please.
My debating came to an end then. I picked up the phone and called my best friend.
Her voice was careful and soft as she picked it up. “Your mom is livid. I’ve never ever seen her like that before.”
“Me neither,” I responded. “Did she tell you everything?”
“She did. I won’t berate you yet for keeping it from me, but you can be sure that is coming.”
Somehow, I smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah ... I imagine you’re already so upset right now.”
I breathed deeply.
“Why are you hesitating?” she asked.
A long time passed before I could respond, “I want the baby, Maddie.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s mine,” I sobbed.
“Do you want me to come over?”
“No,” I said quickly. “The phone is better.”
“Do you want to be with him?”
“I do, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to want to be with him. Apparently, he scares everyone around me.”
“Does he want to be with you?” she asked.
A little laugh bubbled out of me. “The way I behaved when he came around, probably not.”
“You need to speak with him, Freya,” she said.
“And say what? ‘Hey, I think I’m in love with you but I’m scared that you’re a psychopath?’”
“That sounds fine to me,” she responded. “He’ll probably say, ‘I am a psychopath and I’m incapable of loving anyone’. Doesn’t that solve everything? You’ll stop doubting yourself, and you’ll be able to move on. Problem solved.”
When I didn’t respond, she went on, “Are you scared of being rejected?”
“I don’t expect anything from him.”
“I know you don’t, but you have to hope. And the baby … that gives you a greater chance.”
I hated everything she was saying, but I couldn’t deny the truth in her words.
“Speak to him, Freya, so that you can move on. You mentioned that he scares you … why?”
“Well, you all keep warning me away from him, for one.”
“Forget about us,” she said. “Why does he scare you?”
I pondered on the question for so long, and she waited patiently until I responded.
“He feels like a timer in my hand,” I explained. “Everyone says that it’s a bomb, but all I see is my new favorite toy. I don’t ever want to let it go but at the same time I keep wondering, when is it going to explode in my face? What scares me is that if I had to choose, if I forgot everyone else and chose, I would choose to be hurt rather than let it go.”
“Okay, big question for you. Everyone is saying he is a psychopath, but has he ever hurt you?”
“No. In all his actions, he has always been caring and protective.”
“You have your answer then,” she said. “Don’t listen to us. Go ahead and try. Don’t hold back and especially, don’t make assumptions. You’re young and this is your first relationship so of course, you’re gonna act a bit childish, but you’ll get there. Go see him and get the facts out of him and then you’ll know exactly how to proceed.”
Freya
Two days later, Liam Lucan died of liver failure.
I did not even get the news until that evening after it had thoroughly circulated the office and news outlets that his half-brother, Brent, had chosen instead to attend a conference in France than the funeral. That evening, feeling a bit sick, I sat at my desk as the sun went down.
It’s only polite to express your condolences, I tried to convince myself, but I knew that it was perhaps the last thing that he wanted. Still it was a good chance, and I chose to take it.
He picked up on the third ring. “Hello.”
I was so surprised to hear his voice that for the first few seconds, I completely forgot what I wanted to say.
“Hello,” he called again.
“It’s Freya,” I said.
“I know,” he responded, and it made it easier for me to breathe.
“I uh, I wanted to apologize ... I mean I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“I didn’t lose anything,” he said.
My mood instantly darkened as the reality of his words dawned on me. “Your brother just died,” I reminded him.
“Freya I’m very busy right now. Do you need something?”
“Yes!” I replied. “We need to talk.”
“Alright.”
“When can we meet?”
“I’ll be out of the office in an hour.”
His office would have been the best meeting place, but I was skeptical about being in his territory. “Do you want to meet in a cafe? It might be a bit risky for you especially—”
“It’s fine. Send me an address.”
“Alright,” I replied, and he ended the call.
When I arrived, he was already waiting with a cup of coffee. Only when I took my seat did I realize that he was speaking to someone on the phone via the ear-pod in his ears. His eyes followed me as I took my jacket off and sat down, and he only ended the call just as I gave my order of a latte to the waiter. My nerves were fraught as I briefly busied myself with checking my phone for alerts, and by the time I looked up, his hardened gaze told me that it was time to speak.
“I won’t take much of your time,” I began. “Judi called me, and told me that you told her to take over my mother’s boutique.”
He watched me, and didn’t say a word.
“Is that true?” I urged.
“It is,” he answered.
I gasped with shock. I really thought she’d lied.
He took a sip of his coffee, lightly brushed away the stray strands of hair that had fallen unto his face, and returned his gaze to me. He looked at me without any element of remorse.
I sat back, amazed, a thousand words that I wanted to say to him passing through my mind but I didn’t even know where to begin. “Brent, do you truly not see anything wrong with that or do you just not care?”
“It was wrong,” he admitted.
At this admittance, I almost pressed my hand to my chest in relief. He wasn’t completely insane.
“But it was the only way I knew to get you.”
“Brent, you cannot possibly think that it is okay to toy with people like that.”
“What do you want from me, Freya? I’ve had a long day. Do you want me to apologize?”
“I don’t need your apology,” I replied. “You can keep it. I do however want to know exactly how much you paid for my mother’s arrears. I’d like to return it back to you.”
This was not how I had planned the conversation to go, but I watched in horror as it all twisted away from me.
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” he stated.
I froze.
“Were you planning to ever tell me about it?”
“How did you know?” I declared.
His smile w
as bitter. “Judi told me because she had the impression I would hate the idea so much I’d make you get rid of it.”
I bit my lip. “And that’s what you want?”
“No, I want you yo have the child.”
My heart stuttered to a stop. “What?”
“I’ll support you,” he said. “I’ll be there every step of the way. I’ll ensure you’ll have all that you’ll need so that the child does not hinder you in anyway. You’re still incredibly young.”
My head swirled around with confusion. “Brent, what would have happened if I didn’t call you here today? You’re not just finding out now, are you? If you chose to remain silent then why are you speaking about it now?”
“Freya,” he said. “I don’t know what you want. I’ve asked you before, but you chose to push me away instead. You’ve constantly chosen to push me away. Am I that unsavory to you?”
I was struck at his words. Tears filled my eyes and I didn’t bother to hide them. “Can you blame me? Look at the things that you do!”
“Like what?” he asked.
“You got Judi Mirren to take over my mother’s boutique.”
“I wanted you.”
“Is what you want all that matters? How can I be with someone who is so …” I searched for the words. “Unfeeling? You almost shut down my mother’s business.”
He didn’t blink so I decided then that as long as he was listening I was going to say all I wanted to. “Did you sleep with Judi Mirren after we got together?”
He frowned. “I told you. Judi and I haven’t been lovers for years, but after what has happened with you, I’ve completely cut my ties with her. We’re nothing to each other now.”
I felt relief flood through me. “Brent, you scare me.”
“Freya, I know who I am, and I will not apologize for it. Yes, I took control of your mother’s assets because I wanted you, but if I didn’t sense any interest from you whatsoever I wouldn’t have. Your reasons for holding back were based on your groundless and misinformed perceptions of me. I was fucking crazy about you, and hearsay was not going to stop me. And yes, I had quite a lot to do with the destruction of your father’s company. He stole a product from a kid and then got rid of him. That kid’s name is Bernardo Barros. He had only an elder sister whom he was fully dependent on. They lost their parents two years earlier. He had to drop out from university while his sister had to constantly hold down two jobs. In order to change their lives, he developed the VR program which is like nothing that exists in the world and your father wanted to steal it from him. I was a competitor at first. I was in contact with him too and suddenly, I couldn’t reach him anymore. He disappeared and after I found out what your father had done, I directed my attacks on his company. Yes, I wanted to destroy him, just as he had so mercilessly done to someone else. I’m only sorry that he took his life, and it in turn affected you and your mother so terribly.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I felt like I was being hit with too much information so instead, I recorded it all and gave up on trying to process it in the moment. “What about Liam?” I asked. “He died today… and you told him that he would. Does that mean … you had a hand in it?”
Something shifted in his gaze as he watched me. “Liam poisoned my mother, Freya,” he said. “Slowly and ruthlessly. He blamed her for my father’s maltreatment of his mom, and deemed himself fully entitled to everything that came with being the Duke of Leighton’s heir. And so he got rid of her, without thought, and would have done the same to me if I had been gullible enough. So tell me,” he said and leaned in, his fingers linked together as he rested his elbows on the table. “If I did in fact have a hand in his death, what would be your verdict of my actions in this case?”
“You might not have been able to forgive him, but ... this was too far.”
“According to whose standards? Yours? I watched my mother die. She was perfectly healthy before they came along, and then she began to develop sudden lesions on her skin. She was constantly in pain, constantly vomiting, and for the weeks leading up to her death, she became bedridden and died a slow and painful death. We couldn’t find any proof, until one day one of the housekeepers disappeared and she left me a note explaining all that Liam had instructed her to do over the course of a year. I watched him closely thereafter and that was how he was found out. My mercy to Liam was that I left his mother out of it.”
“Well, he’s gone now,” I said. “Does that console you?”
“It does. My only lament is that he is gone. He can no longer feel any pain.”
I didn’t have a word to say, so I just watched him, my heart bleeding for the boy that he was. The image of him the day he had almost killed Liam in their home came to mind and more than before I could understand the pain, I had seen in his hollow eyes, and the fury in his trembling hands. Right now, he was a grown man, fully confident but bearing wounds that only a few knew about and even fewer could understand. My heart hurt with the need to soothe it all away, but I knew that it could never happen. The wounds ran too deep, and had so molded him into whom he had become.
With a crumbling heart, I lowered my head and spoke with my heart, “What I want, Brent, is you.” The moment the words fell from my lips, I dropped my head at the complete vulnerability. “These words are not enough,” my voice broke. “I want you, your wounds, your arrogance, your passion, everything that you are. Is that an impossible request?”
“No. It isn’t.”
I raised my head and stared at him, my heart beating so fast I could hear it in my temples.
“Freya, I want to try for us and our baby.” His voice sounded strangled and torn out of him. “I just can’t let you go.” He raised his head.
My heart almost stopped at the sight of his reddened eyes.
“Deep down I always wanted you. I always remember the fire in your eyes all those years ago. I tried to pretend to myself, but it was always there. No woman was right because she was not you. I want to give you everything, Freya. All of my heart. I want to be everything that you’ll ever need, but I’m not confident enough. My father loved my mother, Freya, but in the end, he completely destroyed her. I never want to do that to you.”
His eyes were swimming with tears, but he refused to blink. He just stared at me right in the eye as he had always done. My chest filled with pain for him. He seemed so strong and aloof on the outside, but he had deep feeling.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I just can’t let you go, Freya. Life would be torture without you, so I’m going to do everything in my power to be a better man than my father was. But I don’t completely trust myself … I might hurt you. And the thought scares the shit out of me.”
I reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think a time would come when he would cry for me.
“Will you teach me? Please teach me how to be who you need me to be, Freya. Otherwise, I don’t have a chance.”
Slanting my head, I kissed him, softly, breathlessly, wholly.
His eyes remained shut as he savored my taste.
I watched him, my heart melting within my chest. I broke the sweet kiss. “You’re going to screw up,” I said. “A lot, but I’m going to be there no matter what. We’re going to make this work.”
His eyes fluttered open, and I saw the fear in them. “I know. Promise me that you won’t ever give up on me?” He raised his hand to my cheek.
I held onto his hand as it cradled my face, and reveled in his warmth. “I won’t,” I responded.
“I love you, Freya Anderson.”
“And I love you, Brent Lucan.”
“Will you marry me, Freya?” he asked.
My eyes widened. “What?”
“That’s the only way that I can be assured that you’ll be in this with me, until the end.”
“My mom will kill me,” was all I could say.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to win her over.”
I kissed him long and dee
p and when we finally broke apart, I whispered the words that would forever bind me to this man whom so thoroughly owned my heart, “Yes. I’ll marry you.”
“We have a baby on the way and a lot of work to do before that,” he said to me. “I want to know everything about you. I want to know what pisses you off, what makes you happy, what makes you excited … I want to know everything.”
“Well, that’s easy,” I replied, my lips twitching with amusement. “You.”
His brows furrowed in confusion, but when my jest finally clicked, he stood up, lifted me away from the ground and buried his face in my neck to hide his smile.
Evelyn Anderson
ONE MONTH LATER
“Would you like another glass of champagne, Mrs. Anderson?”
I opened one eye and smiled. “I don’t mind if I do.”
“Just relax and I’ll get someone to bring it to the waiting area for you.” The quiet sound of her soft-soled shoes faded away.
I closed my eyes and sighed with contentment. It’d been so long since I was treated like a queen. It felt good. Really good. For a while there, I thought I would never have this luxury in my life again, but as my mother would sing to me, Che sera sera. What ever will be will be. Without any warning, my daughter was marrying a billionaire duke and suddenly, she was insisting that I go for 24 carat gold and caviar facials.
Irina, the beautician came back. “Okay, it’s time to remove your masque now.”
“Is it? This bed is so comfortable I was about to fall asleep.”
She laughed easily and as she worked, she chatted about her noisy neighbor who played the drums till late at night, depriving her of her sleep.
Her movements were precise and efficient and soon she was done. “Finished,” she declared in her lovely accent. “Have a look.” She pressed a button and the bed I was lying on became a chair again.
I leaned forward and peered at the large mirror on the wall opposite. The treatment cost the earth itself, but it really did make one’s skin glow.
“Doesn’t your skin look amazing?” she gushed.
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