The Patchwork Quilt of Happiness

by Ava Miles

  “I was going to say that,” she said, fighting the urge to put her hand on his chest. She wanted to be closer to him, to confirm that his heart was beating as fast as her own.

  He looked down, and she took a breath. “Sadie, I don’t normally explain myself, but I want to with you.”

  The way he shifted on his feet told her just how hard this was for him. She waited for him to continue.

  “I don’t like country music because Jess’ mom had big dreams of being a star, and she was a really destructive force in my life and Jess’, so I associate the music with her. It’s not fair perhaps…”

  “But understandable,” she said quietly. “Thank you for telling me that, Riley. I might have been a bit of a prude about the burlesque show, and I’m sorry.”

  Suddenly his hand was covering her forearm, and he was gazing into her eyes. “No, I shouldn’t have taken you there for a first date. The balloon act…even I was a bit shocked, although…”

  Was that a twinkle in his eye now? She found herself smiling.

  “Although you can dig it,” she said, making him laugh.

  “Dig it?” he asked. “I love that. Really, I love the way you talk.”

  She decided to put it all out there. “Even when I talk about going to church?”

  “Ah,” he said, nodding. “Best to pull off a Band-Aid all at once, right? I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m not against church per se. I…don’t like people who talk out of both sides of their mouth. Since I was…a young kid, I’ve…drawn what I see, and some so-called ‘religious’ people told me I was bad for drawing what I did.”

  She tried to imagine someone saying that about one of her quilts. “Oh, Riley, that’s terrible.”

  “I want to live in a world where…” He gestured to the sky. “Where people do the right thing because they believe it’s right. Not because someone or some institution tells them so. Does that make sense?”

  His hand was still cupping her forearm, and she laid her hand over his. His eyes locked with hers. “That’s how I feel too,” she responded.

  “Good,” he said, nodding and taking a breath. “Sadie, I really like you. I even…this is going to sound weird, but I admire you. Coming to Paige’s front door like you did…like I said, you’re an inspiration. Plus, you’re really beautiful, and I…can’t stop thinking about you.”

  She found herself gripping his hand to keep herself anchored. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you either, Riley.”

  “Would you…go out with me again? Forget about our first date? Because I’d…really like that. A lot.”

  Her chest felt tight, and she had all sorts of emotion rolling through her, but she didn’t want the moment to end. “I’d like that too. A lot.”

  His exhale seemed wrenched from deep inside him. “Good. Ah…how about…heck…I’ll just ask…tonight? Seven? I mean, you have church tomorrow, right? And quilting class Monday? I don’t think I can wait until Tuesday. Plus it’s a school night, and I try—”

  “Tonight would be fine, Riley,” she said, fitting her hand around his finally. She had a good feeling about today’s family meeting with Paige, and she didn’t want to wait any longer to see him.

  Their hands lowered, and he gave hers a healthy squeeze. “Ah…I should confess something though.”

  She held her breath.

  “My thoughts on iguanas remain the same,” he said, his mouth curving.

  She felt the corners of her mouth curve too. “I can deal with that. But no more balloons. Deal?”

  He turned her hand and shook it. “Deal.”

  She heard an approaching car and looked over to see J.P.’s SUV coming down the street. “My family is here.”

  Letting go of her hand, he stood in front of her with an easy smile. “I’ll see you later then.”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven.” He started jogging back to the house. “I’d better corral Jess before she escapes again.”

  By the time she turned back around, J.P. had parked his SUV in front of the Bradshaws’ house. Her siblings were filing out, and everyone was fussing with their clothing. Each of them had worn their Sunday best. Even J.P.

  “I’m so nervous I could throw up,” Shelby said, linking arms with her when she reached her.

  “I was thinking the same thing,” Susannah said. “How is it you look so calm, Sadie?”

  Because she’d made another date with Riley, she realized. No, it was more than that. His presence affected her in a good way. She rubbed her arms, his touch lingering somehow. “I had a few moments to settle.”

  J.P. rubbed Susannah’s back. “It’s only natural to feel a little off. Let’s remember Paige is probably feeling the same. We’re all going to take it easy.”

  “Easy?” Shelby muttered. “When I’m about to meet our half-sister for the first time? Ask me anything else, J.P.”

  Susannah reached for her other hand and gripped it tight. “I’m ready.”

  “All right,” J.P. said. “Let’s go.”

  They walked down the sidewalk to the front porch. Their lawn was also freshly mowed, and even the bushes in the front looked as though they’d been trimmed. Unlike the first time Sadie had stepped onto the porch, there was no purple bicycle. In fact, there were no toys at all and the floor looked freshly swept.

  “She bought a Welcome mat,” Sadie said, noticing the new item in front of the door as she rang the bell.

  “She did?” Shelby asked. “Oh, my God, I’m already tearing up.”

  “Keep it together,” Susannah said. “We don’t need to show up crying.”

  The front door opened, and there stood Paige. Somehow she looked tiny, rocking on her heels, her hands fisted around her waist like she was trying to hold it together. She had on a blue cotton dress paired with cream-colored heels. Her hair looked like she’d blow dried it out in waves. Apparently, they’d all decided to wear their Sunday best, and suddenly all thoughts of Riley were gone. This was their moment—as a family.

  Susannah crushed the bones in her hand, and Shelby gave an audible sniff.

  The corners of Paige’s mouth lifted in a smile. Then fell. Then lifted again.

  “Welcome.” She laughed nervously. “I’m Paige.”

  J.P. moved through the door first and enfolded her in a gentle hug. “I’m J.P. and it’s a blessing to meet you.”

  Sadie felt tears track down her cheeks, and Paige was dashing at tears too when J.P. finally let her go. She seemed embarrassed to realize it. “Oh, I didn’t mean to cry.”

  “Me either,” Shelby said, rushing forward and wrapping their sister up in a fierce embrace. “But I can’t seem to stop it. I’m Shelby, by the way. And goodness, you look so much like me. I wasn’t expecting that. Sadie, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I think she looks more like Susannah,” Sadie said.

  “Don’t squeeze her to pieces or freak her out,” Susannah chided softly. “Give the woman some room. I mean, the three of us are new to her.”

  “She can handle it,” Mark said, appearing in the hallway. His eyes were wet as well, Sadie noticed.

  He crossed to J.P. and shook his hand. “I’m Mark, Paige’s husband.”

  Shelby let go of Paige with an exclamation and then hugged Mark enthusiastically, making him laugh.

  Susannah stood before Paige for a moment, as if not quite sure of what to do, before putting her hands on the woman’s shoulders. “It’s a real joy to meet you, Paige.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Susannah,” Shelby said. “Go ahead and hug her. You know you want to.”

  Paige laughed and opened her arms awkwardly. Susannah was a little rigid at first, but then she folded into their sister. Sadie knew she was trying to hold it together, but how in the world could anyone expect them to do that?

  Mark seemed to realize how delicate Susannah’s emotional state was because he simply put his hand on her arm gently and introduced himself.

  Paige shuffled forward
to Sadie. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she said, wiping at the corners of her eyes. “It’s…it’s—”

  “I know,” Paige said, hugging her tightly. “It’s a big day. Thank you, Sadie.”

  “You made this happen as much as I did,” Sadie said, rocking them both in place. “You could have sent me on my way when I showed up here unannounced.”

  “All right now, Sadie,” Shelby said, tapping her foot. “Give the rest of us a chance to get to know Paige.”

  Paige wiped her nose when they broke apart. “We made a few snacks.”

  “I don’t think I can eat yet,” Susannah said.

  “Neither can I,” Paige admitted, crossing to Mark and taking his hand. “Let’s go into the family room.”

  They shuffled in and found seats on the navy-colored sofa while Paige and Mark took the matching loveseat. Sadie hadn’t been in this room before, but it was painted a soft yellow. She found herself smiling at the photos lining the wall to her right. They told the story of Paige and Mark as a couple. The two of them racing down the aisle, an expecting Paige with Mark’s hand on her rounded belly, and them holding hands while looking down at a newborn Haley.

  “I wasn’t sure what you might want to drink,” Paige said, “so I went with sweet tea and water. We can make hot tea or coffee if anyone has a hankering.”

  “This is more than enough,” J.P. said, gesturing to the coffee table where everything was arranged, including a vegetable and cheese tray and a platter decked out with apple slices, oranges, and a few nuts drizzled in honey.

  “Yes, thank you,” Shelby said. “We didn’t want you to go to any trouble.”

  “It was no trouble,” Paige said, her hand firmly in Mark’s.

  Sadie could feel everyone’s mood shift and decided to call it out there. “We’re all falling back on our manners. I mean…it’s totally fine. I don’t think there’s some sort of right or wrong way to do this.”

  “Sadie!” Susannah exclaimed.

  “Well, I’m only trying to break the ice a little,” Sadie said, giving her a look. “We all want to feel comfortable, but no one knows how to begin. So I’ll refrain from saying, ‘Paige, this is a lovely room.’ Susannah is an interior decorator, you see, so she knows far more about that sort of thing than I do.”

  Paige nodded. “I know that. I mean I…went online and looked y’all up when Sadie showed up.”

  “At your front door,” Sadie couldn’t help but add. “Golly, I was nervous.”

  “I imagine we all are,” J.P. said, patting her knee to settle her down. “I know you and Sadie have had some time to talk, but I was wondering how you and Mark met.”

  Leave it to J.P. to ask that one. The way Paige looked at Mark for a moment confirmed what an easy answer this was going to be.

  “In college,” Paige said. “I took one look at him in psych class and knew I wanted to go out with him. I was trying to straighten myself out, so I didn’t think I wanted to fall into anything serious, but…”

  “Lucky for me I was both good-looking and a good talker,” he joked, rubbing her back.

  “We didn’t expect to get married so young,” Paige said, still looking at him, “but we just couldn’t seem to stop ourselves.”

  “We knew what we’d found with each other,” Mark said softly. “I understand a few of you are married or soon-to-be.”

  Sadie nearly came out of her skin, thinking for a moment he meant her, but she realized he was talking about Shelby.

  She listened as her siblings ran them through their own love stories in brief. When Shelby mentioned that she and Vander had met because they’d hired him to find their daddy, Paige’s eyes darkened. But she soon rallied and asked more about everyone’s lives before filling them in on her own story—how she’d put herself through college to become a website designer.

  “And Sadie tells us you’re a middle school guidance counselor,” Shelby said, engaging Mark.

  “Yes,” he said, “and I love it. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best job on the planet.”

  “He’s so great at it too,” Paige added, leaning in and pressing her cheek against his, “but mostly, he’s the best man I’ve ever met.”

  “What a blessing y’all found each other,” J.P. said. “I think there’s a guiding hand that leads us to our mates. It’s wonderful to see you so happy. Tell us about Haley. Sadie said she’s a sweetheart.”

  “Well, she’s a little shy, here and there,” Paige said. “She…ah…knows about y’all now.”

  “I’d also like to tell my children, Annabelle and Rory,” J.P. said. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what were you comfortable sharing with your daughter?”

  Mark shot a look at Paige, who nodded, and then answered, “We told Haley that Paige has learned that she has some siblings who are really nice people. She understands that we don’t see Paige’s mom or dad or grandparents because they’re mean. We both know Haley will have more questions as she gets older, but for now we try and be honest—and brief—and describe things in a way she can relate to.”

  “I totally understand that,” J.P. said. “My wife was abused by her ex-husband, and her oldest boy knew about it toward the end. We’ve told them he’s a bad man who will never be allowed near them again, and for now, it seems to be the right way to handle things.”

  “It’s important to protect children from the harsh reality of things,” Paige said, her tone hardening. “My mother didn’t do that for me.”

  J.P. sighed and leaned forward. “I know it’s an ugly thing to talk about, and we don’t need to talk about it in any detail, but Paige, I want you to know we are appalled by what our daddy did. We’re very sorry he hurt you and your mother.”

  “He didn’t do right by y’all either,” Paige said, “but we’ve all overcome that, thank God. We are not responsible for our parents’ choices. That’s something I realized a long time ago. My mother made some very bad decisions, and she continued to do so throughout my childhood. I’m not going to be around that kind of destructive energy again, and neither is anyone in this family.”

  “We completely agree,” J.P. said. “I only wanted you to know that had we known about you, we would have reached out years ago. Okay?”

  Sadie felt her eyes fill with tears, and she wasn’t the only one.

  Paige nodded. “I appreciate you saying that. After meeting Sadie, I can’t say I’m surprised. I need to tell you that I didn’t reach out to y’all because my mother said a lot of conflicting things about y’all, and frankly, I didn’t want to open that door. I was…making peace with the way things were with my mom and how I…was conceived…”

  Mark put his arm around his wife, and they all waited for her to pull herself together.

  “Doing that was pretty much the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” she said hoarsely. “She’s a liar and a user, and while I have some compassion for the fact that my conception and the events around it were part of what messed her up, she continued to repeat the same destructive patterns with me along for the ride. I decided to stop speaking to her when I was a sophomore in college. The last straw was when she came after Mark for money to support her drug habit.”

  Sadie nearly gasped. She hadn’t known that. “Oh, honey.”

  “I also didn’t want to open a door I thought y’all might want to keep closed,” Paige said. “I wasn’t sure you’d want anything to do with me.”

  “You tell us how you’d like to proceed, Paige,” J.P. said in a gentle tone. “You should know that we don’t plan on having to anything to do with our father after the events of the past few months. Frankly, after what he said to Shelby’s fiancé, I wouldn’t want to hear him out even if he wanted to talk to us.”

  Sadie wanted to agree, but there was still a part of her that couldn’t let go of the hope that her daddy would change. Hadn’t she seen it happen to other people? Call her fanciful, but he was her daddy.

  “I don’t ever want to talk to him,” Paige said. “That’s
unequivocal.”

  J.P. nodded. “You should know that in our search for him we ended up meeting his mother, Lenore, a grandmother we never knew. She’s actually a lovely woman. Had a hard life and is ashamed of her son. We’re in the process of building our relationship with her. We’d hoped to move her from Memphis to an assisted living facility here in Nashville, but none of them would take her bulldog, who is both her protector and friend. That made Me-Mother—that’s what she likes us to call her—shut down all talk of moving. We try and visit her from time to time…and that’s something you’re more than welcome to be a part of if you’d like.”

  “I’ll have to think about it,” Paige said, looking pale. “I don’t know…”

  “Who can blame you for taking your time? I mean, you only met us. We actually might be crazy people or downright mean.” Shelby made a dramatic show of rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out. “I mean, thank heavens for Facebook. Right, Sadie? Because if you hadn’t looked so nice, what with you and Mark and your Haley, I don’t think Sadie would have shown up at your door like she did.”

  “Facebook, huh?” Paige said, shaking her head. “Well, I knew y’all weren’t crazy or mean—at least it didn’t appear that way when I looked you up years ago. I just didn’t feel I had the right to reach out…”

  She made a gesture with her hands like the words wouldn’t come, and Sadie eased herself up from the couch and came forward to sit by her feet.

  “It’s okay, Paige,” she told her softly. “We understand.”

  The woman inhaled like she was fighting a serious cry. Sadie took her hand and squeezed it. “Like I said to you before, we…all of us…only want to get to know you better.”

  “And love on you like a sister,” Shelby said, dashing tears off her cheeks, “if you’ll let us.”

  “I honestly don’t know what that feels like for me even though I’ve watched Haley and Jess—her best friend—be together that way,” Paige said, laughing and crying. “It’s like I have an idea about what it’s supposed to look like, but it isn’t grounded in me somehow. Does that make sense?”

  Sadie nodded. “I feel that way about having a daddy love on me even though I see other daddies do it with their daughters. Whenever I hear the phrase ‘daddy’s little girl,’ it’s as foreign to me as something scientific…like a superconductor.”