by TJ Klune
He was ignoring me.
He’d done it before. “And you call me a child,” I said, knowing he could hear me.
Sure enough, his ears twitched.
“Fine. Stay out there. I’ll just be in here, eating your rabbits.”
He turned his head, flashing violet eyes in warning.
“What are you gonna do about it? Come in and roll in my stuff some more? Yeah, that’s right. I saw your wolf hair all over the shit in my bag. What’s that about, you nosy fucker?”
He turned away again.
Fine. Two could play at that game.
There was a large rod next to the fireplace. The metal was blackened. It was a spit. I picked it up and grimaced as I looked toward the rabbits. “You can do this. No big deal. You’ve eaten these things raw before.”
The rabbit, though skinned and drained of blood, was slimy and wet, the flesh cold. I heard the crunch of bones as I shoved the spit through it, causing my stomach to twist. I gagged when the edge of the spit poked through the rabbit’s neck, the end glistening wetly. I could have shifted (and most likely eaten it as it was), but I stayed human, hoping to get a reaction out of Gavin.
I didn’t have to wait for long.
I skewered the second rabbit before putting them over the fire, locking the spit in place on the latches on either side of the fireplace. There was an old crank on the side of the fireplace, and I twisted it, causing the rabbit to spin.
The smell of cooking flesh was rank and wild.
I heard an angry growl from outside the door.
“Guess you’re gonna have to shift back, huh? Opposable thumbs, a feat in evolution that—”
The door opened.
He dropped back down on his paws, wearing a look that could only be described as smug. He came inside and, without looking away from me, raised one of his back legs and kicked it against the door, slamming it shut.
I wasn’t impressed. “Oh, so you figured out how to work a door. Good for you. I’ve never been prouder. Seriously. It’s—what the fuck!”
He stood next to me and shook, spraying me with the water on his fur. I tried to shove him away, spitting out a mouthful of wet wolf, but he snapped at my fingers. And then he pushed his gigantic head against my shoulder, knocking me away from the fire. With a snort, he sat down where I’d been sitting, staring at the rabbit.
“Petty bitch,” I mumbled, pulling myself up. I wiped the water from my face and flicked it at him. He side-eyed me hard but otherwise didn’t react. “Keep it up, dude. See how far it gets you. And don’t act like those fucking rabbits weren’t for me. They were fresh. You caught them and skinned them while I was passed out. And do we even need to talk about how you obviously pulled a silver bullet out of my leg? Because we could do that too. I know you, man. This bullshit act you’ve got going on isn’t going to fly with me. Do us both a favor and knock it off. It’ll make things easier.”
He turned his head away pointedly.
I narrowed my eyes. “So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Fine. Be that way. See if I care.”
He stiffened when I crawled toward him. He growled in warning when I sat next to him, only inches between us. I reached up and turned the crank, spinning the cooking meat.
“You got me wet,” I reminded him. “I’m going to sit in front of the fire until I dry off and the rabbit is done. Plenty of room if you’d like to move somewhere else.” There wasn’t, in fact, plenty of room. Given his size while shifted, the cabin felt smaller than it had when I’d first woken up. “Or you can go back outside.”
He didn’t move, still keeping his head away from me.
I sighed. “Whatever. You do you. But I’m telling you now, we’re gonna have a goddamn conversation, and we’re gonna do it soon. You’re going to shift when we do, because I expect you to participate. I deserve answers, one way or another.”
He turned his head slowly to look at me.
I was relieved, thinking I was getting through to him.
I should have known better.
He sneezed in my face.
I fell back, shrieking as I rubbed my face. “Why are you like this!”
His tail thumped against the floor.
I WAS RAVENOUS as I tore into the rabbits. Gavin had no plates or cutlery or even a kitchen, just a sink that didn’t work. I hissed as the hot flesh burned my fingers when I tried to pull the first rabbit from the spit. I blew on it, hoping it would cool quickly. I was close to just eating it as it was. The flesh was split and cracked, and disgustingly, juices leaked from it onto the table. I had to stop myself from bending over and licking it up.
Gavin snarled at me, pushing me away from it. I thought he was going to go for the rabbit, but he nosed at my hands. They had already healed, the sting fading. He snorted onto my palms, first the right, and then the left.
“I’m fine,” I told him.
He froze as if he hadn’t realized what he was doing. He stomped away to the other side of the cabin near where he’d been sitting when I woke up. He grabbed the blanket he’d dropped to the floor earlier and, with a practiced flip of his head, tossed it up and over his shoulders. It covered the top of his head, and he lay down away from me, facing the wall.
“Oh, so now you’re pouting. Great. Wonderful. Extraordinarily mature of you.”
He didn’t move.
“I can still see you. Your ass is hanging out. Blanket’s not that big.”
His tail tensed ramrod straight. He rose slowly, turning around and facing me before lying down again, lower half against the wall. The blanket fell off his eyes as he lowered his head to the floor.
I ignored him, going back to the rabbit. It was cool enough now. I barely cared about the cracking of bone as I ripped pieces off and shoved them in my mouth. I groaned as I chewed, feeling light-headed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten anything substantial. I knew I’d lost weight in the past ten months, but I’d been so driven to find him that I hadn’t given it much thought.
Now, though?
I’d barely eaten a quarter of the rabbit before my stomach clenched. I swallowed what was in my mouth, licking the tips of my fingers.
I glanced at the wolf.
He was watching me, nose twitching. As soon as he saw me looking at him, he looked away.
“Full,” I admitted. “It’s… been a while since I’ve eaten something like this. Stomach must have shrunk.”
He huffed out a breath.
“You should eat too. Keep up your strength. You’re gonna need it for what I’m going to do to you.”
He lifted his head quickly, staring at me.
“Not like that,” I said quickly, horrified with myself. “I don’t—dude, what the hell.”
He sneered at me again.
It was startling how used to that look I was, how often I’d seen it. That void in my chest, that gaping black hole that had felt like it’d been eating me alive over the past year, seemed to lessen. I couldn’t feel him, not like I used to. Whatever bond had been between us, between him and the pack, was gone. I should have seen it for what it was while I still had the chance.
It hit me just how fucked this situation was. I was so far from home, and while I’d found what I’d been searching for, what had it gotten me? We’d tried after Robbie had been taken, some of us thinking darkly that he’d left of his own accord. But no matter the front we’d put forward, mostly for Kelly, it’d still felt like a lie.
I wondered if they were acting the same now.
Lying to each other.
And themselves.
All because of what I’d done.
Kelly had crumbled at the loss of his mate. At first he’d moved through the house like a ghost, haunting the rooms and hallways. He hadn’t spoken much and barely ate. I’d chided him, I’d pleaded with him, I’d yelled at him, telling him he couldn’t let himself go, that I’d be damned if I was going to let him waste away in front of me.
I hadn’t known it then, but I’d been stoking a
fire in him, one that rose until it consumed him with growing whispers of Robbie Robbie Robbie.
And then, after everything, just when he was starting to heal, I’d turned around and left him too.
My chest hitched.
My breath caught in my throat.
I blinked rapidly, willing away the burn in my eyes as I shivered.
Everything was blue here, in the middle of nowhere.
Gavin grunted as he rose from the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walking toward me. He stopped in front of me, dropping the blanket in my lap. I glanced up at him. He wouldn’t look at me as I pulled the blanket over my shoulders. I ignored the scent of old-growth forest that enveloped me. I couldn’t get distracted.
“I’m fine,” I told him roughly. “Don’t worry about it. Eat. It’s going to get cold. You hate it when your food is cold.”
His eyes widened briefly before he went to the table. He nosed at the remaining rabbit, sniffing along the edges. And then he bit down on it, bones crunching as he chewed. His throat worked as he swallowed the thing almost whole. His tongue came out over his lips, chasing the taste.
Then, without so much as a look in my direction, he went to the door again. He hit the latch with his snout and pulled it open. Cold air swirled in, and I shivered. I didn’t know what he was doing or where he was going. I thought about following him, but I couldn’t make my legs work.
I closed my eyes when I heard the telltale grind of muscle and bone. He exhaled explosively.
I sat down on the bed and waited.
A moment later a man wearing nothing but a scowl appeared in the doorway, carrying pieces of wood from the stack next to the house. He hit the door with his foot, closing it behind him, the thin muscles on his hairy thighs flexing. He stomped over to the fireplace and dropped the wood next to it. He crouched down in front of the fire, feeding it with logs. The ridges of his spine stuck out, bumpy down his back to the top of his—
He said, “You’re staring.”
My face grew hot as I quickly looked away. “I am not. And you should put on clothes.” Not that I thought he had any. I’d looked through the cabin in his absence, and it was mostly empty. Nothing that could have told me anything about him or what the hell he was doing here. What his plan was. What I could do to convince him to leave.
“No.”
“Your dick is just… hanging out.” I stared furiously at the far wall. “That’s not cool, dude.”
“Don’t. Not dude.”
“I’ll make you a deal. I will absolutely try not to call you that if you just get dressed.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his shoulders hunch. “Don’t have clothes. Always wolf. Easier.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
“How long have I been here?”
He scrunched up his face. “Two days.”
The full moon was Friday. Which meant it was Sunday. I ignored the pang in my chest. “Where did you go? What happened to the hunters? What happened to my truck? How far away from the house are we?”
“Talking,” he muttered. “Always talking.”
“Oh, am I bothering you? I’m so sorry. I feel just awful about it. I mean, sure, you’re probably not used to hearing another voice, seeing as how you decided to run to the ass end of nowhere and—”
“Stop.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. “You broke my phone.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Stop it. Stop asking questions. Always questions. No more. Enough.”
Jesus fucking Christ. I wanted to knock him through the goddamn window. “Yeah, not gonna happen. Sucks for you.”
He huffed out a breath. “Tomorrow.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“You leave.”
I turned back to him. His face was illuminated by the fire. It was strange seeing him as he was now after all this time. It was like being familiar with a stranger. Wolves never looked like their human parts when they shifted, and vice versa, but there was something about his face, the set of his jaw, the way his eyes flashed. I would have recognized him anywhere. “Only if you’re going with me.”
He pulled his lips back over his teeth. For a moment I thought he was smiling, or at least trying to. But it twisted down like he was in pain. “Not going. You go. I stay.”
“The quicker you get that idea out of your head, the better off we’ll be. If you think I’m just going to go after all this time, you’ve—”
“You found me.”
I blinked. “I did.”
He didn’t look at me. “How?”
“Oh, so you get to ask questions, but I can’t?”
“Yes. No more questions. I get many questions.”
“Why?”
“That’s a question.”
The skin under my right eye twitched. Of all the aggravating motherfuckers for me to be stuck in the middle of nowhere with, I had to choose this one. I made terrible choices. “Maybe I don’t have to tell you anything since you won’t extend me the same courtesy.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
He stood and began to pace, shoulders stiff, hands flexing and unflexing. His feet scraped against the dirt floor.
I grabbed the shorts from where I’d set them on top of my bag and tossed them at him. He glared at me as he snatched them out of the air.
“Put those on.”
“Why?”
“So I don’t have to see your junk flopping around. Just do it. Please.”
He looked down at them, then down at himself. The light from the fire rolled over his bare skin. He’d lost weight since I’d seen him last, and though he wasn’t quite skin and bones, he was too skinny for his own good. Wolves needed to eat. We burned hot, our metabolism going into overdrive to compensate for our shifts. If we were too weak, we wouldn’t be able to turn wolf, or back to human.
“You don’t like. When I’m naked.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you.”
“No conversation.” He tossed the shorts back at me. I knocked them away, and they landed on the floor. “I stay like this. You don’t like it. Leave.” He jerked his head toward the door.
I couldn’t help it. I laughed at him. “You really think that’ll work?”
He walked toward me, hips rolling. I swallowed thickly, feeling like prey in this small room. He stopped right in front of me, and if I turned my head just right, I’d be face-to-face with his—
He said, “You’re sweating.”
“At least your observational skills are still intact. Which is more than I could say for—”
He took another step forward. I spread my legs to keep him from bumping into them, and he moved between them. I could hear him breathing, could see the muscles in his stomach tightening, the sharp jut of the bones in his hips covered in shadows. “Found me.”
“Yeah.” My voice sounded like I had a mouthful of gravel.
“Chased me.”
“Yeah.”
“Look. Look at me.”
I was helpless not to. He grinned down at me, and it was a nasty thing full of sharp teeth. His eyes flashed violet, and I could see the wolf just underneath.
“This what you want?” he asked.
“I don’t…. That’s not….”
He bent slowly toward me. I leaned back on the bed, my hands flat against the thin mattress. I was cornered by an Omega wolf, but I couldn’t bring myself to shove him away. He invaded my space, not quite touching, but I could still feel the heat rolling off him. It was like he was on fire, burning from the inside out.
His smile widened. It looked crazed.
I dug my hands into the mattress.
“Take it,” he said. “Take it.”
“No.”
The smile disappeared. “Know nothing. Lost little boy. Think you’re so smart.”
This was a game to him. Intimidation. He was trying to force my hand. �
�Found you, didn’t I? No matter where you went, I still found you.”
“What now? Little boy.”
I didn’t have an answer.
“You won’t leave?”
I shook my head slowly.
“Then I will.”
“Go,” I said, jerking my head toward the door. “See how far you get. I don’t care if it takes days or weeks or months. Hell, it could take another fucking year, but it doesn’t matter. I found you once. I will find you again. You think Livingstone will keep me from—”
His hand covered my mouth, pressing harshly. His eyes glowed, his forehead furrowed as he bent his face toward mine. “Don’t,” he snapped at me. “Don’t say his name.”
I shoved him away. He hadn’t been expecting that. He stumbled back as I stood, letting the blanket fall to the bed. He pulled himself up to his full height, but fuck him. I was bigger than he was. Wider. Stronger. Maybe he had the feral strength of an Omega, but I was irritated and just about done with his bullshit. “Why?” I demanded. “Is he going to hear me? Is he out there in the woods? Can he hear me now?” I pushed by him and went for the door. I threw it open, letting it bang against the side of the house. The clouds were gathering again, the air sharply cold. “You out here, Livingstone?” I shouted. “Come on, you fucking asshole! Show your face! I’m right here! You want—mmmph!”
He wrapped his hand around my mouth and pulled me back into the house. He slammed the door again and leaned against it, chest heaving. His eyes were wide and wild, his hair hanging down around his face. “What are you doing?”
“I have no idea,” I muttered. “But you’re not going to scare me away. Neither will he. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”
“I don’t.”
“That makes two of—”
Something roared in the woods. It sounded very big and very angry.
The walls of the cabin shook.
Gavin closed his eyes. “You… don’t understand. Never. Never should have come here. Stupid boy. Stupid child.”
“I’m not a child.”
“Then why you act like one? Stay here. Don’t go into woods. Don’t follow me.”
And then he was out the door, pulling it shut behind him. I made it to the window in time to see him hit the ground on four paws, hurtling toward the tree line. The last I saw of him was his tail, and then he was gone.