Brothersong

by TJ Klune

  “We don’t have time,” I told him, and he said, “I know. I know. I know.”

  He shoved me down onto the bed. I bounced once before he pressed me into the mattress as he settled on top of me. He was heavy, and I could barely breathe, but I’d never felt more awake. I wasn’t dreaming. This was real. All of this was real.

  He kissed me again, grinding his hips against mine. His cock was thick and heavy against my own, our skin already slick with sweat. His tongue rolled in my mouth artlessly, but I didn’t care. He felt feral, the thrum of the wolf trembling between us. I opened my eyes to find all I could see was violet.

  His hands tugged my hair, pulling my head back. He found my throat again, nipping at my skin. “That’s good,” I gasped. “Keep doing that.”

  He growled, and I couldn’t keep from laughing. I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he captured my wrists with one hand, holding them tight, pressing them into the mattress above my head. His eyes glittered as he rose up above me. He looked down at me, head cocked. “This,” he said. “This is what you want.”

  And I said, “Yes. You. You’re what I want.”

  There was relief there, green like nothing I’d ever felt before. It poured off him, and in my head, a whisper broke through the haze, saying carter carter carter, and it was him, I knew it was him. I’d heard it before. Maybe I’d ignored it. Maybe I hadn’t recognized it. I did now. This was us.

  “Keep your hands there,” he said. “Don’t move.”

  “Of course you’d be bossy here too,” I muttered, and then I yelped when he bit my nipple before kissing his way down my chest. “I don’t know why I thought otherwise.”

  He looked up at me, chin on my stomach. “You thought about this.”

  Because it was him, I said, “Yes. All the fucking time.”

  He grinned, and I swore I saw the hint of fangs. It shouldn’t have thrilled me as much as it did, especially since he was so close to my dick. But there it was, regardless, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.

  He pressed his face into my groin, inhaling deeply, my cock pressing to his cheek.

  “Dude, that’s probably not—”

  “Don’t call me dude.”

  “This is so stupid, this is so—fuck!” My hips arched off the bed as he swallowed me whole, gagging as the tip of his nose brushed against my pubes. I felt his throat working around my dick, and I started to reach for his head, either to pull him off or hold him in place, I didn’t know. His eyes opened. They were wet as they flashed violet in warning. My hands stilled just above his head.

  He pulled off my cock slowly, swirling his tongue around the head. He must have seen the look on my face, because he said, “What?”

  “Nothing,” I managed to say.

  I didn’t know how to tell him.

  Violet. His eyes had been violet.

  But for a moment, there’d been a flicker of orange.

  He knocked my hands away before he went down on me again. He was better at this than I thought he’d be, and I felt an insane twist of jealousy at how he’d learned. Of course he wasn’t a virgin. I wasn’t either. But that did nothing to quell the urge to find whoever else he’d been with and tear their fucking heads off.

  He tugged on my balls and I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose. “You keep that up, I’m not gonna last. It’s been a long time.”

  “I know,” he said, letting my dick slap wetly against my stomach. “Could smell them on you. When I first got here. All those women. I hated them.”

  “Nothing since. You know that.”

  He gripped my dick, slowly sliding his hand up and down. “Cockblock.”

  I gaped at him. “What the hell?”

  He shrugged, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Followed you around. Shadow. Cockblock.”

  Motherfucker. I was laughing again, unable to stop. He frowned at me, and I sat up on the bed, pulling him up by the armpits. I kissed him again, and there it was, that old-growth scent that belonged to him and him alone.

  I chased after it as I twisted, laying him flat against the bed. I looked down between us, our dicks rubbing together. I moved my hips slowly, marveling at the sensation. My skin felt like it was on fire, sweat dripping from my brow into the hollow of his throat. His stomach and chest were covered in a fine layer of dark hair, his hip bones jutting out in sharp relief.

  I said, “I’m going to suck your dick.”

  And he said, “Thank you for announcing instead of just doing.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’ve never done it before.”

  He snorted. “Obviously.”

  “I might not be very good.”

  “Stupid Carter,” he muttered. “Watch your teeth.”

  It was inelegant, though that was probably putting it mildly. I gagged almost immediately, the heady taste of him foreign. He was careful with me, moving his hips in shallow thrusts, his hands on the sides of my head, holding me in place. He growled at me when my teeth scraped against the head of his dick, but he said, “Do that again.”

  I did.

  “Good,” he panted. “That’s good.”

  His cock was hot against my tongue. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through my nose as spit ran down my chin, my eyes watering. He said my name again and again, and I didn’t know if it was out loud or in my head. I thought i feel you i’m here and i feel you, and the bond between us, the thread that tied us together, went taut as it vibrated.

  carter carter carter

  i know let me just let me i

  He was kissing me again, my lips swollen, throat sore. He gripped my chin, and it hurt, but it was oh so good. He pressed his forehead against mine, and we stared at each other in disbelief. He hummed quietly under his breath.

  He said, “This. Me. You.”

  I said, “Yes.”

  He said, “Together.”

  I said, “Yes.”

  He said, “You want this. With me.”

  And I said, “Yes.”

  He flipped us over, and I found myself on my back again. He was stronger than I expected, and I felt a deep pride I could have someone such as him. He settled himself on my hips again, my dick rubbing against the crack of his ass. He reached over to the nightstand next to the bed. He opened the drawer and pulled out—

  My eyes bulged. “Is that lube? What the hell? How did that get there?” Then, “Wait. How did you know it was there?”

  He shrugged as he popped the cap. “Kelly and Joe.”

  I said, “What.”

  “Gave it to me.”

  “What.”

  He scowled. “It’s not hard to understand.”

  “Oh, excuse me for wondering why my fucking brothers gave you a bottle of lube.”

  “You’re excused.” He poured a generous amount onto his palm before reaching behind him. I tensed when he slid his hand along my cock, coating it with slick. “Stop talking about your brothers. We’re busy.”

  My eyes bulged, whether because of his words or grip, I didn’t know. “You’re the one who—”

  And then he groaned, and it took me a moment to realize it was because his fingers were in him. His eyes fluttered shut, the back of his hand rubbing against my dick as he stretched himself open. I could do nothing but watch his face, the subtle wince, the way his mouth dropped open as he twisted his hand. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, hissing quietly before he dropped the bottle onto the bed next to us.

  He rose on his knees to get a better angle. I reached between us, my hand going to his. He gasped when I pressed against his hand, pushing him farther into himself. He nodded, and I pushed again. He was three fingers deep, and my thumb hooked around his, pulling it back and then pushing it up again.

  “Ready,” he whispered, and I pulled my hand back. I heard his own hand slide from his body, and I swallowed thickly. “Ready, ready, ready.” He leaned over me, brushing his nose against mine.

  “Are you sure?” I whispered.

  He said, �
�Yes. You. I’m sure. You, Carter.”

  “There’s no going back after this.”

  “I know.”

  “We’re going to be—”

  “Carter. Shut your mouth before I fuck it again.”

  “Oh, look who’s got all the words now. You asshole.”

  “I’m trying to get you in my asshole.”

  “Yes,” I said. “That. Do that.”

  He sat back up, looking pleased with himself. He reached behind him again as he raised his hips. He held on to my dick before he lowered himself slowly as the sirens continued to bray. The pressure was immense, and I was lost to it, to him, and all the while the specter of what lay ahead hung over us both. It was heavy, but my hands were on his thighs, his muscles quivering underneath my fingers. He put his hands flat against my chest as he grimaced, baring his teeth and hissing out a breath.

  “Slow,” I told him. “Slow.”

  He said, “I know, Carter. I know.”

  He settled onto my lap and bent over, his head hanging above mine. He blinked rapidly, and there was green, and then violet, and then it was orange, orange, orange, and I didn’t think it was possible. I didn’t think it could be like this.

  He began to move, rolling his hips. He gasped as he rose up and slid back down. I was too scared to move, not wanting to hurt him and not wanting to end this before it even began.

  He said, “Carter, Carter,” and across my vision, little flashes of light, the room growing brighter, the haze receding into sharp clarity.

  I reached up and held on to the back of his neck. “It’s all right,” I whispered. “I’ve got you.”

  He said, “Please” and “Don’t let him have me” and “Don’t let him take me” and “It hurts, Carter, I can feel him in my head and it hurts.”

  I rose up and kissed the words away, the angle awkward, my stomach straining. He breathed into my mouth as I dared to move, fucking up into him with a quick snap of my hips. His mouth fell open as I did it again and again. He was shaking, a full-body tremor that I couldn’t stop. He pulled away, putting his hands on my knees behind him, arching his back. His dick slapped against his stomach. I reached for it, but he growled at me, knocking my hand away before stroking himself.

  I said, “Do you want this? With me?”

  He said, “Yes.”

  I said, “Me and you. Nothing else matters.”

  He said, “Yes.”

  I said, “Gavin.”

  His mouth dropped open, the cords on his neck thick as he groaned. An urge roared through me, a primal instinct at the sight of his throat. My fangs dropped, and I knew, I knew this was it. This was an ending. Whatever followed, whatever would happen next, we’d gotten to this moment, and I said, “Fuck him. Hear me. Hear me. I’m the voice in your head. I’m your pack.”

  The sirens screamed.

  A low rumble crawled up from his chest and through his throat.

  I saw the flash of fangs.

  He leaned forward again. “Mine,” he said, and it came from the wolf. “Mine.”

  “Bite,” I snarled at him. “I’m close. Do it. Do it now.”

  He didn’t hesitate.

  I felt the bright wave of pleasurepain the moment he bit down, but it was lost in the hot slick of blood that filled my own mouth as my fangs sank into his skin between his shoulder and neck.

  I

  I

  i

  am

  strong

  brave

  scared

  wolf

  i am wolf i am wolf i am wolf

  i am carter

  (gavin)

  i hurt

  my head hurts

  my brain hurts

  it’s on fire

  everything is on fire

  bitch woman bitch woman hunter

  says she’ll cut me says she’ll take knife and put it into my skin

  says it’s because god wants it

  god demands it

  fuck your god

  fuck you

  chain around neck

  silver

  she pulls it

  hard

  she says

  she says don’t show me your teeth

  do it again

  do it again and i’ll pull them out one by one

  find them she says find them find them

  kill them

  kill them all

  i hunt

  there’s

  man

  witch man raven witch man kill him kill him but

  there’s

  smells like

  ????

  what is

  that what is that in him

  that smell

  that scent

  that stench it’s like it’s like

  familiar

  it’s i know it i know it

  can’t

  hurt him

  humans

  he is with humans

  scary woman with crowbar

  witch man says jessie no

  but she says fuck this and crowbar

  fucking crowbar it burns it burns

  they run they run and i follow

  i follow them hunt them stalk them hide hide hide

  big wolf bad wolf big bad wolf

  witch man raven man i follow you why do

  why do you smell like that

  who are you they say gordo gordo gordo

  and i know that

  name

  i know that name brain in brain on fire where where where do i

  know that name this place i know this place

  trees i smell the trees they smell like

  man alpha big alpha comes to me

  child i am child and alpha says there are wolves gavin there are wolves and

  witches gavin there is magic and monsters

  you are not

  you are not a monster gavin your father is

  you are safe here alpha man says i tell you this

  i tell you this not to hurt you but to

  make you know you are never alone

  i looked for him i remember now dead he’s dead he’s dead

  follow gordo

  follow ???? brother ????

  is that who witch man raven man is is is

  and i

  i attack i kill them make smell go away

  don’t need him don’t need this don’t want this place

  but then

  but then

  he comes

  out

  he’s yelling

  wolf stupid wolf big stupid wolf

  he is

  not

  ???

  others see him

  don’t

  don’t touch him

  that’s mine

  that’s mine

  he’s mine and i will take him away into woods

  i will hunt for him

  i will keep him warm

  and safe

  he yells at me tells me to stop dragging him

  stupid wolf man

  not dragging you saving you stupid man stupid wolf

  it’s

  thump

  it’s

  thump

  it’s

  thump thump thump and i

  i can breathe

  i can breathe

  i can

  I OPENED MY EYES.

  Gavin stared down at me.

  Blood dripped down his chest and onto mine.

  I said, “Gavin,” as I looked to the mark on his shoulder, the perfect impression of fangs already scarring over.

  Gavin said, “Carter? It’s…. Carter. I can… I can.”

  I reached up and cupped his face. He turned and kissed my palm.

  “Show me,” I whispered. “Show me your eyes.”

  He shook his head furiously. “I don’t know. I don’t know. If I can. If it’s real.”

  And because I had a part to play, I said the words he’d told me once in the snow stained with blood. “What do you want?”


  He knew. Of course he did. He said, “To feel like I’m awake.”

  “Show me, then. Show me your eyes.”

  He did.

  Oh, he did.

  He opened his eyes, and for a moment nothing happened. But then the tangle of threads in my chest burst to life, writhing and wild, and it stretched between us. It connected us. It was strong and true and I heard him, loud and clear even though he didn’t speak aloud.

  carter carter carter

  His eyes filled with the brightest orange I’d ever seen.

  A tear trickled down his cheek.

  I brushed it away.

  “Awake,” he whispered. “Awake. Carter, I’m awake. I’m awake.”

  THEY WERE WAITING FOR US.

  We walked toward them, hands clasped between us.

  The sirens blared, cracking the cold air like it was glass.

  Chris and Tanner and Rico were grinning. They looked almost feral.

  Rico said, “This is some goddamn Disney shit right here.”

  Jessie rolled her eyes. “Mystical moon magic.”

  Dominique shook her head fondly.

  Bambi laughed, and it was sweet and kind. Joshua looked up at her from her arms, blinking slowly at the sight of his mother so carefree.

  But it was my own mother I turned to.

  She was smiling quietly.

  She said, “Gavin. To me, if you please.”

  He stiffened, but it didn’t last. He squared his shoulders. He dropped my hand and walked slowly to her. She stood on the steps above him, looking down.

  She said, “Did you make your choice?”

  He said, “Yes.”

  “What did you choose?”

  And Gavin said, “Carter.”

  She started to nod, but then he spoke again.

  “And family. I chose family. Pack. Pack. Pack.”

  She took his face in her hands. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He shuddered at the press of her lips. She pulled away, but only just.

  She whispered, “This is where you belong. This is where you’re supposed to be. No one else can have you. No one else can take you. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

  He stepped forward, pressing his face against her stomach. She was startled, but then she chuckled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She looked to me. Her eyes flashed. “It’s time to show the world why we’re the goddamn Bennett pack.”

  like this/little god