by Kaylee, Katy
“Do you feel this exhausted every night?”
Kade laughed. “No. The first few openings, yes. Now, not so much.”
“It must be nice to be you.”
He flinched.
I looked up at him. “I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just think… you’re so handsome. You get to pursue your passion. You’re a good person. You’re living your best life.”
“I want you to live your best life too, Morgan.”
“Tonight, I did. Almost.” My best life would be not just living my passion, but having my mom get all the help she needs. And having a forever love. Having Kade.
“Almost?”
I rested my head on his shoulder. “The pursuing passion was my best life.”
“What’s missing?” he asked, his hand rubbing my arm.
“Right now? Nothing.”
We pulled up to the curb, but it wasn’t at my apartment. It was at a fancy upper west side building.
Kade got out of the car and held a hand for me. He was taking me to his place. As tired as I was, it was surprising my hormones could wake up. But they did. They started to hum. I took his hand and let him escort me to his apartment.
I didn’t know what all this meant, but I wasn’t going to question it. What better way to end a perfect night than with him?
We entered his apartment, and it was exactly like I’d have thought it would be. It was large and open. The kitchen had restaurant grade equipment and huge workspace. A floor-to-ceiling window let the moonshine cast a romantic glow through the room.
He took my hand and led me back to his bedroom. His bed was huge. Was there a size bigger than a king size?
He stood in front of me, his hands cradling my face. “I don’t share, Morgan.”
“Uh… okay.”
“John — ”
I scoffed. “It’s not like that.”
Then his lips were on mine, and I was in heaven. He tasted like Kade and scotch. I gripped the lapels of his jacket to make sure he didn’t get away from me. That’s how it often felt; like we’d come together, but then he’d get away from me. I supposed I allowed it by always being willing to let him touch me, knowing that for him it was just sex. It would ruin everything to tell him about the baby. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want me, except in moments like this.
Of course, I’d have to tell him at some point, but it didn’t need to be now. Now I just wanted to immerse myself in him. To surround myself with his heat and scent. To touch him and let him touch me.
He kept things slow, as our clothes came off, and he took his time to touch and taste my skin as it was exposed. I was impatient to get his shirt off so I could feel the hard strength of his chest. I pressed a kiss over his heart, before licking at his nipple.
He hissed out a breath. “Morgan.” I heard a yearning in his voice that echoed my own feelings. I wished it included love, but for now, I’d take this; because when he touched me, it felt like I was the only thing in the world.
Finally, I stood before him completely naked as his gaze raked over my body. I felt self-conscious that I wasn’t a skinny beauty, and yet the desire in his eyes told me he liked what he saw.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said as he cupped my breast, brushing his thumb over my aching nipple.
“Kade,” I moaned.
He leaned forward, sucking my nipple into his mouth, making my pussy clench and flood with heat.
“I’m going to take my time tonight,” he said. “It always ends too fast with us.”
I nodded. “I want that too.”
He led me to his humongous bed and laid me back. “I’m going to worship every inch of you.”
My hips rocked, up seeking contact from him. “I need you.”
“I’m right here.” He kissed me again, a little firmer, a little more desperate than before. But his tongue was thorough as it swept through my mouth, hot and wet. His hands roamed over my body, followed by his mouth. He wasn’t kidding. He worshipped me from head to toe, and back up again. He stopped at my pussy, using his mouth and fingers to drive me mad. He took me to the edge, but wouldn’t push me over.
“Kade, please.” I was writhing with need.
“I want your pussy’s first big O to take me over with you,” he said.
“Then fuck me, now. I need you.”
He groaned, and reached into a drawer in his bedside table pulling out a condom.
“You don’t need that.” I said, desperate to have him. Flesh to flesh. I was already pregnant, so there was no need to prevent that.
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“Yes.” I reached for him, wrapping my hand around his dick and stroking.
He growled. “Fuck, Morgan.” He moved over me again, resting his hips between mine. “Be sure, baby.”
“I am.” I arched up, seeking his dick to fill me and put me out of my misery. Pushing away what it meant that he was insistent that I be sure. He didn’t want to make a baby; that was clear.
He clasped his hands on mine, sliding them up over my head. “Tell me you want me.”
I opened my eyes, and stared into his green ones, filled with desire. “I want you.”
“Only me,” he growled.
“Only you, Kade. Only you,” I said, arching again and feeling his wet tip slide along my pussy lips.
He thrust in, filling my body, and making me gasp at the whoosh of pleasure that blew through my body.
“Yes,” I cried out, my fingers gripping his, and my legs wrapping around his hips. I wanted to hold him there forever.
“So good. So, fucking good, Morgan. Do you feel that?”
“Yes.” My hips moved with his, as he slid in and out.
“Only we have that.”
“Yes,” I said on a moan. I got lost in sensation. The scent of him filling my nose. The heat of him, wrapping around me. The friction of his cock as he thrust in, pushing me higher and higher toward ultimate bliss.
“Open your legs, baby,” he said.
I pulled my knees up and open. He plunged in, and oh my god, it was like he went deeper. He was in me. A part of me. We were one for this single glorious moment.
“Ah fuck yeah, Morgan.” He released my hands, putting his on the bed next to me and levering up. He picked up the pace, thrusting harder, faster. I let myself go, letting him drive me higher and higher.
“I’m going to come… fuck, Morgan…come on me, baby.”
I tilted my hips, and he sank into me hitting that one glorious spot. My breath caught as my entire body imploded for an instant before pleasure blasted out to every neuron.
“Kade!”
He let out a long feral growl as he bucked in and out, swiveling his hips before pounding inside me again. Liquid heat filled my body. The same liquid that had given me his baby. This time I savored the feel of it. The magic of a part of him merging with a part of me to make life.
I had an urge to tell him. To blurt out that we’d made a baby. Before I could, his lips were on mine, kissing me as our bodies rocked their way back down from the high. By the time the kiss ended, I was snuggled tight in his arms, and reality had returned. This was just sex. Not love. I’d tell him about the baby soon enough, but right now, I wanted to live in this alternate reality. One where I could pretend that he loved me. Where I could feel safe and secure in his strength of his arms.
19
Kade — Friday Night
I didn’t know what it was about this woman that made me ache for her, not just physically, but emotionally as well. It was maddening and exciting and scary and thrilling; it was everything rolled up in one confusing package.
My dick lay limp on my belly, glistening from where I’d just fucked her without a condom. I’d never not used a condom. Ever. I’d known early on that as much as it might be pleasurable, that I wasn’t going to risk getting a woman pregnant. I wasn’t made like my brothers, with that sappy love gene. I was going to have plenty of nieces and nephews, so I wouldn’t need any
kids of my own. I wasn’t going to let a woman who wanted the Raven name or money use a child to get it either. Plenty of women had told me they were on the pill, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to take the risk.
And yet with Morgan, my only concern had been for her. Was she sure she wanted to take the risk? She had been. In some ways it was a relief, because as well as I’d stuck to my always use a condom rule, I broke it with her several weeks ago. I guessed she was on the pill then. Maybe she went on it after she finally lost her V-card. Thank fuck; otherwise, she could be pregnant.
But even as I thought that, I ran a hand over her belly wondering what she’d look like with my child growing in her. See? I was totally and completely fucked up where this woman was concerned.
“That was a perfect way to end a perfect night,” she sighed as she snuggled close to me.
“I’m glad you think so.” I didn’t want to say the next thing, but I couldn’t fucking stop myself. “You glad you chose me over John?”
She tilted her head up to look at me. “Are you jealous?”
“Not if there’s nothing there.” Hell yeah, I was jealous. I didn’t like that feeling, either.
“There’s nothing there. Besides, you don’t think I’d really be caught between two men.”
“Why not? You’re smart, funny, sexy…Not that I want you to, but it’s not like it couldn’t happen.” At least whatever had happened between them was over. Did she fuck him without a condom too? Ah fuck, Kade, stop. I was going to torture myself into an insane asylum.
“This is where I want to be. With you.”
I grinned. “Good to know.” I brushed my thumb over the dark circle under one of her eyes. “Will you stay?”
Her breath caught, and her eyes looked a little stunned. Why would that surprise her?
“I’m not done with you yet, but you look tired. I should let you rest,” I said.
The glimmer in her eyes faded slightly, and I hated that I said something to make it go away. What had I said? She didn’t like that I wanted her?
She looked away for a moment and then her expression shifted again. “I want a turn to worship your body.”
I lay back putting my hands underneath my head. “Have at it.”
She straddled my body and ran her hands down my chest. “What is your favorite thing sexually?”
“Anything you want to do to me is my favorite.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I’m being serious.”
“I am, too.” I nodded down toward my dick, which was already thickening. “See, it’s just happy at the idea that it’s going to get some attention.”
She smiled, and wrapped her hand around my cock. I closed my eyes as the first flood of arousal heated my blood.
“I want to be on top, Kade.”
“Top, bottom, side, backwards, forwards… whatever you want, you can do, baby.” I reached between her pussy lips. “Are you wet enough?” I felt my own cum along with her juices. It made my dick extend to full tilt.
She moved over me, putting her pussy over my dick. “I love how you feel inside me.”
“Then take me.”
Her gaze captured mine as she lowered herself over me. I fucking loved how I felt inside her, too. It was like a smooth, hot, wet glove, made just for my cock. Her pussy walls squeezed and massaged, shooting sparks of white, hot fire coursing through my blood.
Her hands rested on my chest. “I don’t know what to do.”
I rested my hands on her hips. “What do you want to do? Feel like doing?”
She rose up and lowered down again, repeating it, awkwardly at first, but then she found her rhythm.
“Fuck yeah, see, you know what to do.”
She rocked her hips, sped up and slowed down, like she was testing to discover what she liked too. When she’d elicit a groan from me, she’d repeat it, over and over.
“You’re going to make me come,” I said on a hiss. My hips were rising and falling in motion with her. We were totally in sync as together we raced to the finish line of ecstasy.
“I’m coming…” she gasped. “Oh, god.” Her head dropped forward and her fingers clutched painfully in my chest. It was one of those hurt so good types of pains tough, as her pussy clamped down around my dick like it was never going to let it go.
I yelled out and bucked up, shooting my load up into her sweet pussy. We kept moving together, riding out the storm until finally she collapsed on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close to me.
She moved off me, but snuggled against me. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing began to soften until I realized she was asleep.
I smiled and kissed her forehead. “Sleep tight, my beauty.” I watched her sleep for a moment, thinking was a sap I was for doing so, and yet, unable to take my eyes off of her. She was so sweet and lovely. She fit right here in my arms. In my bed. In my life.
Feeling tired myself, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. Images of a large house on the coast filled my head. I recognized the home as the one my family owned in the Hamptons. The house was loud, and the dining table was filled with food and family. My brothers were there with their wives, and children were running around. Their children. It was the type of scene I’d scoff at, and yet in this dream state, it was pleasant. The scene was filled with love and joy. The only sadness was that my mother wasn’t there to see it.
As I watched, I realized I wasn’t a part of it, and those old feelings of abandonment and rejection started to fill me. I was there with them, but outside of them. Not included. Not one of them.
From across the room, Morgan appeared holding her hand out to me. I moved toward her, feeling the pull she had on me. I like my heart was somehow tethered to hers. I reached out, taking her hand in mine, and a sweeping motion moved me with her toward my brothers and their families.
I put my arms around her, like she was some sort of life preserver. As I held her, she kissed my cheek, and then looked down. Her belly was round, filled with a life. I looked at her, wondering what was going on. She took my hand, placing it on her belly. I felt movement, and my heart about burst open. Emotion crashed through me, and I was sure I was going to cry like a fucking baby.
“It this real?” I asked her, holding her to me with one hand while the other stayed firmly planted on her belly.
“If you want it to be.”
I woke with a start. I took in a heaving breath as I looked around the room. It was still dark out. The woman I was dreaming about was still in my arms. I pulled her close and kissed her head. Like a lightning bolt, clarity zapped into my brain. This is what I wanted. Sappy or not, Morgan was the missing piece to my perfect life. Here in my arms, was exactly where I wanted her for tonight, tomorrow night, and all the nights to come.
I laughed at myself, and wondered what sort of teasing I’d get from my brothers. I didn’t give a fuck. I wanted this woman. And tomorrow, I was going to talk to her about having a real relationship, not just this fuck-when-convenient thing we had going on. I wanted to hear her tell me I was the only one, and make fucking sure that John knew it. She was mine. And scarier still, I was hers. My heart skipped a beat, a mixture of terror and excitement. I’d never given myself emotionally to a woman. Not like this. I scared me to death, and yet, I wanted to wake her up right now and tell her because I didn’t want to wait another second for the next phase of our lives to begin.
But she was in a deep sleep. Those dark circles were lighter, but still showing under her eyes. I’d let her sleep, and in the morning, I’d lay it all on the line.
The end of the dream played back in my mind’s eye.
“It this real?”
“If you want it to be.”
“I want it to be,” I whispered to her, as I closed my eyes, and fell back asleep.
20
Morgan — Saturday
I woke feeling wonderfully rested. It had been some time since I’d slept so deeply. But quickly I realized I wasn’t home. I turned my hea
d. Holy crap. I was in Kade’s bed. Kade’s huge, soft, warm bed.
“Not yet,” he murmured turning toward me and putting his arm across my belly. “Sleep.”
I didn’t want to sleep. I was wide awake with the wonder of waking up in Kade’s bed. I couldn’t stop the smile of the spectacular day I’d had yesterday and even more spectaculicious night with him. He’d asked me to stay. And here I was, next to him.
His hand caressed my belly over the sheet and the next reality it. Oh, god. I hadn’t told him about the baby. I really should tell him. Now.
But then his hand stroked up, cupping my breast. Immediately my body flushed with arousal.
“We’re going to have morning sleepy sex,” he said, brushing his thumb over my nipple. “You okay with that?” His eyes were still closed, but he had a sexy smile on his lips.
“Is it different than nighttime awake sex?” I asked, glad that my morning sickness hadn’t reared up to ruin this lovely morning.
“Let’s find out.” His eyes opened, as he pulled me under him and slid inside me.
I groaned as he filled me. Not just my pussy, but my entire being. What was he going to say when I told him about the baby? Yes, he’d pursued me beyond our agreed upon one night. He’d asked me to stay. But that didn’t mean he loved me, or wanted a relationship. Of course, that didn’t mean he shouldn’t know, but I couldn’t bear to lose him right now. Maybe, I could bide my time. Maybe I could show him how good we could be together. How I could love him like Beth loved Ash?
My heart did cartwheels at the realization that I was in love with him. Not just a little crush, but full, soul-deep love.
“Stop thinking,” he murmured as he sucked on my nipple while he pressed in.
I gasped, letting all thoughts leave my brain. Right now, I’d just feel. Feel his body inside mine. Feel my love envelop him. Would he feel that from me?
He continued to move in and out, but not in the frenetic pace we usually head. It was steady, and sweet, and all of a sudden I was there, perched on the edge of pleasure.