by Kaylee, Katy
She laughed. “God, I’d have loved to watch that.”
“It felt good,” I admitted. “I won’t let you down, Beth. I promise.”
“I know you won’t honey, but listen. Plans need to be made about the baby. Trust me when I say it will be hard to build a business with a little baby.”
“I have a new G.M.,” I said, trying to avoid sounding defensive. Throughout history, women have toiled carrying babies on their backs. It might be hard, but I could do it too.
She was quiet for a moment, and I had a sense of dread at what she was trying to gear up to say. “Hunter told Ash that Kade had asked for his advice. It seems he’s in love with a woman who is pregnant.”
Oh, god.
“Ash wanted to know if that could be you. I told him I didn’t know, and I don’t, which is why I’m calling, but I suspect it is.”
I didn’t say anything.
“And I suspect he’s the father of said baby and doesn’t know it.”
“Why would you think that?” My voice was unsteady.
“Listen, men can be a little slow on the uptake about things like this. I think it stems from their ability to live in denial a lot. But eventually, they catch on. Unless you’ve never slept with Kade, at some point he may put two and two together. Trust me, that’s not a good moment.”
I still couldn’t talk.
“Kade might be a little abrupt, but he’s a good guy. He’ll do what’s right. I can’t imagine you’d have slept with him if you didn’t think that about him.”
“Maybe it’s someone else’s.”
I heard a tsk from Beth. “Honey, he might believe you’d do that, but I know you. You don’t have it in you to sleep around. To be honest, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t tell me you finally lost your virginity. We used to talk more.”
“You were getting married and having your own life.” I wiped away tears, feeling so emotionally raw at the moment.
“That doesn’t mean we’re not friends or that I don’t have time for you.” When I didn’t reply, she asked. “Do you love him? Or at least care for him?”
“Yes.”
“Is the baby his?”
I closed my eyes, not wanting to say out loud the truth. It would make my deception all the more real and heinous. “Yes.”
I waited for her to give me a lecture or say she was disappointment in me.
“When will you tell him? The longer you wait, the worse it will be.”
“I don’t know how. He said he wants to be with me and raise the baby — ”
“Well, that’s a good sign.”
“But I still didn’t tell him, and now it’s too late. I can’t go forward with a lie, but the truth will make him leave.” I grabbed a tissue to wipe more tears.
“You don’t know that he’ll leave. Ash didn’t. He forgave me. Second, it doesn’t matter how he responds. He deserves to know, Morgan. You know this.”
I nodded, forgetting that she couldn’t see me over the phone. “I’m scared.”
“I know, honey. But I’m here for you.”
We finished the call. I’d felt so lovely after Kade’s massage, but now I was emotionally drained, while also feeling crushed under the weight of my lie.
“Everything okay, baby?” my mother asked from the kitchen doorway.
“Yes, mom.” I inhaled a breath, hoping she wouldn’t be able to tell I’d been crying.
“Is Mr. Raven gone?” She went to the kettle, filling it with water and putting it on the burner.
“Yes.”
“I liked him. Is he special to you?”
I closed my eyes as I prepared to let her know the truth. “Yes. And you were right about one other thing.”
“Oh?” She turned toward me, leaning against the counter.
“I’m pregnant.”
Her face went blank for a moment. It was like she couldn’t decide if it was good news or bad. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yes. I feel fine. Well, tired, but other than that, I feel good.”
“What about the father?” Her brows shot up to her hairline as she put two and two together. “Is Mr. Raven the father?”
“Yes, but…” I looked down, because I was too ashamed at my behavior to look at her. “He doesn’t know.”
“Why not?”
“I haven’t told him. Actually, he knows I’m pregnant, just not that he’s the father.”
“Oh, lord.” She moved to the table and sat next to me. “What are you thinking, Morgan?”
“At the time, I thought he wouldn’t want me or the baby. Or that he’d accuse me of trapping him.”
She took my hands. “So, what if he did? That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the right to know. And you’re going to need him, baby. Trust me on this. It’s not easy to raise a child on your own, especially in New York.”
“I’ve waited too long, and I let him believe a lie. I want to be with him, but this will make him hate me.”
She squeezed my hands. “That’s possible, and if he can’t forgive you, that will be a tragedy. But there’s no other way out but to tell him.”
“I know. I just wish I could find a way to make it all right.”
“If he’s a good person, then he’ll come around. Look at Ash. He was kept from Hannah for five years, and he forgave Beth.”
She sat back as another light bulb appeared to go off in her head. “If you and Kade get married, that will mean you and Beth will be sisters-in-law. Wouldn’t that be something?”
I tried to smile, but inside my chest, my heart was breaking. Kade said he wanted more than casual and that he’d raise the baby, but that wasn’t a marriage proposal. Once the truth about the baby came out, any possibility of becoming Mrs. Kade Raven would be gone.
“That would be something.” I got my mom her tea and told her about the dinner I left in the refrigerator, and then I headed to the restaurant.
One thing was going right. Pat had everything under control.
“Did you know some of the menu items weren’t entered right into the system?” she asked me. “Some bar drinks weren’t either.”
“That’s why the last guy was fired.”
“Well, it’s all fixed now. Chef has some new ideas he’d like to pass by you, and he made a few things based on what you said you wanted.” She cocked her head to the side. “You look a little pale. You okay?”
I nodded. “Just a little tired.”
“I can expedite tonight,” she said. Since it was Wednesday, it wouldn’t be too crowded, but I knew I wasn’t in the mood to schmooze with my customers. Expediting would keep my mind busy and off my problems.
“I’d prefer to expedite, if that’s okay.”
She laughed. “It’s your restaurant.”
I went into the kitchen where Chef brought out a few samples of the fusion options we were thinking of adding to the menu. It was hard to review them, as my taste buds seemed to have stopped working.
“Have you tested any of this on the waitstaff or Pat?”
“Pat, yes. She liked them all except for the chipotle pork bruschetta.”
“Let’s do a test during a lunch run. Next week?”
He nodded. “Sounds good.”
The dining shift was busy enough to take my mind of Kade for a bit, but the minute things stopped, he was front and center in my mind.
When we closed, I locked myself in the office while the staff took care of cleaning and shutting things down for the night. I sat staring at the phone on my desk, willing myself to call Kade and arrange to see him to tell him the truth. But I couldn’t get my hands to work.
The phone buzzed on his own, startling me. Kade’s name came on the caller ID. It was like the universe was telling me what to do.
“Hello.”
“Hey. You sound tired. Busy night?” he asked.
“Busy enough.” I took a deep breath and prepared to ask him to come by tonight.
“Listen, I’ve got to fly out to Romania tonight.”
/>
Huh?
“My dad bought some resorts in Romania and Latvia and I need to visit the one in Bucharest. He’s hassling me about plans and I can’t put him off any longer.”
“Duty calls.” Should I tell him over the phone? I couldn’t decide.
“I’m sorry.”
“No. It’s all right. Of course it is. This is your work. It’s important.”
“So are you, Morgan. You’re important to me.”
My heart both melted and cracked. I was such an idiot to risk losing this man.
“I should be back Saturday, maybe Sunday. I’ll call you then,” he said.
“Okay.”
“Or maybe I’ll call you when I’m lonely in bed in Bucharest. You can cheer me up with a little phone sex.”
I laughed, even as I was crying inside. “What’s the time difference? When you’re in bed there, I might be expediting.”
“Expediting turns me on, baby.”
God, he was so perfect.
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Safe travels.” I hung up the phone having mixed feelings. I was going to be able to put off telling him, and yet, putting off telling him was only going to continue to make things worse. How was I going to get out of this mess and still have the man of my dreams?
29
Kade — Sunday
I liked to travel. In the past, when I’d visit our properties in other countries, I’d enjoy the food of the culture, and maybe find a willing warm woman to show me their country’s language of love. This time, all I could do was miss Morgan. We texted a few times, but between my working sixteen to eighteen-hour days so I could get home, the time difference, and Morgan’s schedule, we had little time to chat.
I was able to confirm that her mother had started her treatment program. I was sure to get that all arranged before I left. I’d also started looking for a new place to live. One that would have a grandmother’s apartment for Mrs. Andrews, and would be big enough for a child. I wondered if Morgan would think I was moving too fast. She hadn’t really agreed to move beyond a casual affair, so asking her to live with me might be more than she wanted. Still, I was a man who asked for what he wanted, and more times than not, got it. I might have to be patient with Morgan, but eventually I’d win her over.
I arrived home early this morning. I’d wanted to see Morgan, but I still had some work to do, and then I had to go to a family dinner, this time at Hunter and Grace’s, because Sara was too pregnant to host. I’d thought about inviting Morgan, but again, I was concerned she wasn’t ready to be included in official family gatherings. Instead, I’d try to arrange to see her later that night.
The family all looked the same. Chase was hovering over Sara, who looked like she would have that baby any moment. Hunter was feeling up Grace’s ass as she plated the appetizers I’d brought from the bistro. It didn’t seem right to have a family meal and not bring some food, considering I was the food guy.
Only Ash and Beth seemed out of sorts. They were in a heated discussion across the room. On occasion, Beth would glance at me. It made me squirm a little. Did she know I was fucking her friend? Was she upset about it? Or was Ash? He was the one who told me to stay away. Maybe they thought I was the father of her baby. Considering how adamant Ash was about my not touching her, if he thought I’d knocked her up, he’d be pissed.
I sat and watched it all from the outside looking in, as it had always been. As the youngest, it was hard to be included. It took forever to be taken seriously by my brothers. Even now, I felt like they often dismissed my ideas.
“Okay, appetizers are served,” Grace said setting the dish on the table. “Dinner will be up shortly. By the way, boys, no shop talk okay?”
Hunter leaned over and whispered something to her.
“Now?” she asked, looking up at him.
“Oh please,” I moaned. “Surely you can wait until you don’t have company to indulge in your marital duties.”
“Shut up, Kade,” Hunter said.
“You’re the one feeling up her ass.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why are you watching me feel up my wife?”
Okay, that was embarrassing.
“As much as I would indeed like to engage in marital relations, that’s not what this is about,” Hunter said. He beamed down at his wife, who was beaming right back.
“We’re having a baby,” she burst out.
“Oh, how wonderful!” Sara waddled her way to them, the first to hug them both. Chase followed suit, with Ash and Beth right behind. Finally, I took up the rear, as usual, feeling happy for them and at the same time sad for myself. I could have that, I thought. If only Morgan would accept me. Granted, the baby she carried now wasn’t biologically mine, but I could adopt it. That would make it mine.
The dinner went on as usual, or the usual it had become since Chase married Sara. B.S., or before Sara, my brothers and I had little tolerance for each other. My father made sure that we worked hard and earned what we got in the business, and that meant competing with my brothers. Then he went and changed the rules, saying we had to get married because he was willing our inheritance to our kids. I hoped to hell he’d consider Morgan’s child mine when the time came. If the time came.
I helped with the dishes, noticing again that Beth and Ash were in a serious exchange on the other side of the room.
“What’s with them?” I asked Grace.
She glanced over. “I don’t know. Looks serious though, doesn’t it?”
“Maybe the honeymoon is over.”
“Speaking of honeymoons, there is a rumor that a woman has captured your heart. I’ve been dying to ask you about it.”
I put the dried pan in the cupboard. “Not much to tell. I want her. She’s not so sure she wants me.”
“How is that possible?” She handed me a pot to dry.
“Can’t imagine. I’m a catch.” I grinned.
“Could be the conceit,” she said with amusement shining in her eyes.
I laughed. “Maybe.”
“Seriously Kade, is this something special?”
“I think so, but it’s complicated. She’s pregnant.”
Her face went blank.
“It’s not mine,” I said quickly. “But I’ll accept it as mine.”
Her smile widened. “That’s lovely. She doesn’t want that?”
“I’m not sure what she wants. Sometimes I feel like we’re there, you know? Like it’s clear as day that we’re together. And then she gets distant. I figure I’ll wear her down eventually.”
She laughed. “No doubt. But you do have to know for sure you want her. With a child to consider, that might be why she’s hesitant.”
I nodded. “That’s what Hunter said.”
Her smile was wistful as she looked over at him. “He’s a smart man.”
I rolled my eyes.
Later, all the couples were chatting, which made me miss Morgan. I decided to text her to see if I could stop by later. I went out onto the terrace with my wine and phone.
For a moment, I stared over the city, wondering how Morgan was doing. Was she thinking of me? I had a moment of doubt as I considered that she probably didn’t think of me as much as I thought about her.
“Ash, now isn’t the time,” Beth said from behind me.
I turned and saw Ash come out on the terrace with Beth right on his heels.
“There is no best time, Beth. He needs to know.”
My gut clenched. What did I need to know? Did one of my restaurants burn down? Did Ben die in a fiery drunk driving crash because I failed to help Alex get him into rehab?
Ash stood in front of me, crazy emotions passing over his face. What the fuck was wrong?
“Ash, it’s not for us to tell — ”
“He has a right to know. I won’t let him go through what I did.”
“Give her time,” she pleaded with him.
“She had her chance. She can betray him, but I won’t, Beth. Don’t ask me to.”<
br />
Sadness washed over her face. She looked like she was caught between a rock and a hard place. Ultimately, she sided with her husband, as she nodded. “Yes, okay.”
Ash turned his attention to me.
I inhaled a quick breath, steeling myself for whatever bad news he was going to tell me. Because whatever this was, it couldn’t be good if it was creating tension between them.
“Kade…” Ash blew out a breath, like he needed a moment too.
“Ash?” I looked between the two of them.
“Morgan’s baby.”
“What about Morgan’s baby?” Jesus, did she lose it?
“You’re the father.”
It took a moment for the words to sink in. I simply blinked.
“No. She would have told me.” I looked to Beth, Morgan’s best friend, for confirmation that she would have told me.
Beth’s face told me a different story.
“What the fuck?”
Ash put a hand on my shoulder. “Look, I know how this feels. I’ve been there. That’s why you had to know. I don’t want you missing any part of your child’s life.”
I couldn’t breathe. It was as though anvils were sitting on my lungs. Why would she lie?’
“If you love Morgan, you can work past this,” he said.
“How? How do you work past a woman wanting to keep your baby from you?” My body couldn’t decide which emotion to go with. Rage? Despair? Hurt?
“Morgan’s reasoning is likely misguided, but I’m sure not malicious,” Beth said softly. “She loves you, Kade — ”
“No, she doesn’t. How could she love me and keep this from me?”
“It’s complicated.”
“No. It’s not. Jesus.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I told her I’d raise it as my own. So many times, she could have come clean and didn’t. She was never going to tell me, was she?”
“She was,” Beth insisted. “I know she was.”
“But she didn’t.” Even outside on the terrace, the area felt too small. I had to get away. “I need to go. Will you make my excuses?”
“Where are you going?” Ash asked.
I looked up at him with an ‘are you kidding’ expression.
“Maybe you should wait until you’ve calmed down,” he said.