I loved Carl with more affection than I had ever shown my own brother. My brother and I didn’t see each other much because of the distance between us, and we both knew Adam didn’t really care much for him and Tasha. Carl had almost filled his shoes. The more I thought about that I wondered, since my brother practiced family law, if I should run this story by him for a second opinion. JJ could offer a different perspective, because I suspected he had seen it all. And it was a good excuse to connect. I dialed his cell and he answered right away.
“Hey! You okay?” he said.
“I’ve been better,” I said.
There was a pause then, and the fact that I didn’t just spill my guts told him it wasn’t a call about our boys. Intuitively, he knew it was about Adam. My brother had a squirrelly personality, but he wasn’t stupid.
“Adam’s a challenge for me and you know it. Tell me what happened,” he said.
“It’s complicated,” I said.
“It’s always complicated,” he said. “But you’ve never come to me for advice before, so I’m all ears.”
So I told him the story and he listened. When it seemed that I had recounted enough of the worst episode that ever occurred between Adam and me and I thought he could see everything from my perspective, I got quiet and he cleared his throat.
“People are so fucking stupid, men in particular,” he said. “But I gotta say, Eve sounds like a real piece of work.”
“She is. This whole thing is a little bit pathetic,” I said. “How could I not have known how deeply he felt about her?”
“The wife is always the last to know,” he said. “But before you tear up your whole life over this, let’s think it through.”
“That’s why I called. I mean, in your experience, once something like this happens, how impossible is it to restore the marriage?”
“Well, I’ve seen couples patch things up and go on with their lives. But Eliza? You’re not going to like this, but it all depends on your ability to forgive.”
“Wait a minute. He commits the sin but I have to forgive?”
“Yes. That’s how it works. Do you think they actually had sex, or maybe they were having an affair the whole time behind your back?”
“To be honest? I don’t know. I still can’t believe what my eyes saw. And I just don’t think of Adam as that calculating and dishonest. Sneaking around has never been his style. I mean, he can’t keep a secret for ten minutes.”
“Well, it sounds like he did this because he thought he wouldn’t get caught. And if he swears they didn’t have sex, it leaves him a tiny little bit of moral ground.”
“Like the smallest ant hill on this earth.”
“I’ll tell you what I don’t like, besides the obvious.”
“Tell me, JJ.”
“I don’t like that you’re not getting all the things you want out of life. None of us are getting any younger. You and Adam have plenty of money and your kids are in college. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t go to Greece if that’s what you want to do.”
“Well, Adam says it would be super expensive and that he’s too busy. He is awfully busy these days.”
“Hold on, sister. What if it’s not expensive, and since when do you need him to go with you? Seems to me that right now might be an opportune time. You know? Let him worry a little bit? It won’t kill him.”
“Didn’t you tell me we had a cousin with a B and B on Corfu?”
“Yeah, Kiki, Aunt Anna’s daughter. Kiki’s been sending Dad a Christmas card for years and I wrote her back telling her that Dad had passed. In fact, I think she owns one and manages four or five others. You want her contact information?”
“Yes, please. Does she speak English?”
“Jesus, Eliza. Practically the entire continent of Europe speaks English. She went to UCLA, don’t you remember? She’s as fluent as you and I are.”
Adam had assured me for years that no one in Greece spoke English except for a few wealthy people and that from the way I described my mother’s family, it didn’t sound to him like they were particularly educated or rich people. Therefore, they couldn’t possibly speak English. Suddenly I realized that there was a control problem here. Adam calling the shots was more important to him than me fulfilling a dream, and right then and there I knew that if Adam and I ever got over this, things would be very different between us.
“I am so happy to hear that, you couldn’t possibly know.”
“You have a pencil?”
“I’m ready,” I said and took all the contact information for my cousin Kiki. “Thanks, JJ.”
“Happy to help. I think you and Adam can work past this if you want to. Like I said, it’s all up to you.”
“Right. Thanks. I mean it.”
“Let me know how things pan out.”
I promised him that I would, and we hung up. The first thing I did was check my passport to be sure it wasn’t expired. It was not. The only time I’d used it was for a short trip to Jamaica. I sat down on the edge of my desk chair and looked around the kitchen again. I still felt nauseated and light-headed. I ignored that and decided to go online and look for a cheap ticket. But first I sent Kiki an e-mail. What was the time difference? I thought it might be seven or eight hours. It was two in the afternoon and probably nine there. She might be having her evening meal.
Kiki, I know you won’t remember me but I’m your cousin . . .
To my surprise, she responded in minutes.
Come, come! Come for a visit and stay as long as you like! I can give you your own house! Please . . .
Wow, I thought. Just wow.
I wrote back,
I’m on my way!
An hour and a half later I had booked a flight, I had packed a bag, and I was in my car on the way to the airport. I called both boys. I said it was an impromptu decision. I told them about Kiki and that I’d be staying with family. They both knew this was something I had wanted to do for a long time, and they sounded genuinely happy that I was going. I wasn’t sure which day I’d be back, but we’d be in touch through e-mail.
I’d left Adam a note on the kitchen table.
I’m going to visit my family in Corfu. For once, I’m putting myself first.
I’ll let you know when I’m coming back.
Not Oh God I love you but I’m taking my broken heart to Greece or Adam! How could you? I’m devastated!
Oddly, I wasn’t brokenhearted or devastated. I just felt very disappointed. I had depended on Adam’s faithfulness for the better part of my life and now I didn’t know if I ever could again. I remembered reading a line by Emily Dickinson about the heart wanting what it wanted. Was that how Adam felt? Had this friendship with Eve and Carl been a sham so that Adam and Eve could see each other every so often?
I checked my phone again. Nothing from Adam. Maybe he’s dead in a ditch, I thought. The thought of it made me smile. This fucking till-death-do-us-part thing could have already happened for all I knew. Nah, the police would’ve tried to contact me. He was probably in the kitchen of the condo changing the drawer pulls and trying to figure out a way to blame me for snooping on him.
As I began to drive I had the thought that it would be a good idea to leave my car with Ted and Clarabeth. Why should I pay for parking for more than a week if I decided to stay longer?
I dialed Ted’s cell and he answered.
“Ted? I need a small favor . . .”
I gave him part of the truth and left out the majority of the details.
“I’ll drive you to the airport,” Ted said. “It’s no problem.”
I went directly to Clarabeth’s home on the Ashley River and parked under a sprawling live oak tree in front of the house. I got out and saw Ted, Clarabeth, and Cookie standing on the front porch. It was getting chilly, as it did in the afternoons in winter. I rubbed my arms and looked up to see that their faces were covered in concern.
“No reason to be alarmed,” I said. “It’s kind of spur of the moment, I know. It mus
t seem funny but believe me, everything’s okay.”
I gave everyone a little hug and a pat on the back, which was how we all greeted each other.
“You got time for a cup of coffee?” Clarabeth said.
I looked at my wristwatch. I still had three hours before my flight to New York.
“Sure,” I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
We all went inside the house together and I noticed that Cookie had her hand on Ted’s lower back, a gesture that seemed too possessive.
I had the thought then that Clarabeth had sure seen better days. She looked decrepit. Cookie, however, was dressed for tea with the First Lady of the United States, should she drop by, and already circling the carcass before it gave up its ghost. And as usual, Ted was oblivious to Cookie’s attention, or perhaps he just decided to take the stance that Cookie couldn’t possibly be serious. In any case, Cookie and I sat down at Clarabeth’s kitchen table while she opened a tin of shortbread and Ted took out cups and saucers. He made each of us a cup of coffee from a rather fantastic looking cappuccino machine. The thing was huge and a vision of chrome and knobs and gauges. I’d never seen one like it in someone’s home. Starbucks? Maybe. Clarabeth’s kitchen? It was a very high-end and luxurious accessory.
“Wow!” I said. “When did you get that?”
“I surprised him with it just this week!” Clarabeth said. “You know how he loves a good cup of coffee, and we’ve been using my old Mr. Coffee machine for a thousand years, so I saw this in a catalog and . . .”
“I’m a barista now,” Ted said. “Would you like your milk frothed?”
“Why not?” I said. “Thanks.”
“So where are you going?” Cookie asked.
“Greece,” I said.
“That’s wonderful! Is Adam going too?” Clarabeth asked.
“No. He has to work,” I said.
“I didn’t know you were planning a trip,” Ted said.
“It came up sort of suddenly,” I said.
“You and Adam had a fight?” Cookie said.
It was hard to get anything past Sober Cookie. She had feline instincts.
“I don’t know if I’d call it that,” I said. I felt my neck get hot.
“Must’ve been pretty gargantuan to prompt a trip all the way to Greece,” Cookie said.
I felt tears welling up and knew that within a matter of seconds they’d be sliding down my face. She saw it too and pounced.
“Listen, Eliza, between Clarabeth, Ted, and me, we’ve got the better part of two hundred years of experience, and I’ve had more men in my bed than I can count or remember. You can tell us anything.”
The story and the tears came tumbling out.
“Oh, honey,” Clarabeth said.
“I can’t believe my son would do something so terrible,” Ted said. “I mean, I believe you, but I seriously doubt he would actually be unfaithful. I’d stake my last dollar on that.”
Cookie looked at Ted and Clarabeth and then she looked at me.
“Look, I don’t want to burst your bubble, Eliza, but here’s the truth. When Adam and Eve were just out of high school, I caught them screwing their brains out in my house downtown. I threw him out of the house and told him to get lost or I’d call the authorities. When y’all met up with Eve and Carl at Wild Dunes I doubt that there’d been a word between them since then. But if you want my opinion? I wouldn’t trust my daughter as far as I could throw her. Adam grew up to be a nice man. But my daughter? She’s never happy.”
I was stunned. I looked at Ted and said, “We’d better get going or I’ll miss my flight.”
chapter 12
adam
Our condos had the same floor plans but hers was absent any crown molding or shiplap. And our fireplace was bigger. Still, they rented for the same money. As soon as Carl and Eliza’s cars were gone I walked back over to Eve’s. I rang the doorbell and stood there waiting for what seemed to be a long time. She finally opened the door. Her hair was in a towel and she was wearing that same silk robe.
“Sorry! I was in the shower. Oh, Adam, I feel so terrible,” she said. “Come in. It’s cold.”
She had been crying and was holding a fistful of tissues.
“Well, you shouldn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Carl said I should’ve had clothes on. He’s furious with me.”
“He’ll get over it. Eliza’s not too thrilled with me either. But she’ll come around, she always does.” Truth? I didn’t know how fast Eliza would calm down. I couldn’t remember her ever being so upset.
“You want coffee? Did you eat anything for breakfast?”
“Actually, no. Coffee might be good, not that I need the caffeine today. Carl gave me a jolt that should last for a few days, at the least.”
“Oh God, Adam, I’ve never seen Carl like that. I thought he was going to kill you!” She took the towel off her hair, which was wet. “Give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?”
“To comb out my hair and throw on some clothes in case Carl comes bursting in here again.”
I hated that she was getting dressed. I loved seeing her this way.
She ran up the steps to her bedroom and I called after her.
“He’s not coming back. Guaranteed he’s on his way home to Raleigh.”
“Maybe! Who knows?”
A few minutes later, I turned to see her coming down the steps barefooted in tight jeans and a tight long-sleeved turtleneck. Eve could put on rags and still look gorgeous. She went to the kitchen and I followed her. She poured me a mug of coffee.
“Splash of half and half, right?” she asked.
“I love that you remember that,” I said.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too, but let’s face the facts. We’re in trouble because of it.”
“Want to split an omelet?”
“Sure.”
I’d never seen Eve prepare anything more complicated than sandwiches and I wondered how her food was. She cracked three eggs into a bowl and added water. I’d never seen Eliza add water to eggs. Eliza always used milk.
“Want me to set the table?” I asked. “Make myself useful?”
“Sure. Leave me the plates.”
“So, what do you propose we do about our spouses?” I said.
“Pray that they get over it and never mention it again?”
I took some flatware from the drawer and two paper napkins from the holder and put them on the table that was just outside the kitchen. I saw her spray the frying pan with cooking spray and thought, Oh boy, this is going to taste awful. Eliza always used a pat of butter to cook eggs, not some rank oil—and I knew it was rank because I could smell it as soon as it hit the heat of the pan. But Eve didn’t seem bothered in the least by it, so I didn’t say anything. She put the eggs in the pan and it sizzled again. The pan was too hot. Even I knew that.
“That would be nice, but I can tell you that Eliza is probably going to spank me for this the whole way into eternity.”
“Carl thinks we had sex.”
“I’m sure Eliza does too. But if we didn’t last night, we never will.”
“I’ll say.”
She attempted to flip the omelet and it broke. The bottom of it was brown with crust. How I was going to eat this abomination was anybody’s guess.
“I think so too,” I said.
“But if we’re going to get blamed for it we might as well do it,” she said, scooping the poor eggs onto plates. “Let’s eat.” She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.
“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” I said, sitting down.
“Am I?”
“Eve Church Landers! Are you suggesting that we have a trashy affair or just a onetime trashy screw?”
She giggled and took a bite of the eggs.
“Who knows? Maybe both. Oh, God! This is delicious, isn’t it?”
I took a bite and I swear to everything that�
��s holy, I thought I was going to vomit. I tried to swallow without tasting them but the metallic oil was so overwhelming that my gag reflex kicked in and threw them out of my mouth. Thankfully I caught the whole unholy mess in my napkin.
“So, you don’t like my eggs, huh?”
“It’s just that I’m feeling a little hungover. Maybe I’ll take some toast?”
“Sure! There’s bread in the freezer.”
“Oh? Do you want me to make it?” I said. I never made toast, except when the kids were little. Eliza did that for me.
“No, no! I’ll do it! I’ve been wanting to make toast for you since the seventies!”
She practically hopped up from her chair and disappeared into the kitchen. I sipped my coffee, listened to Eve banging things around, and thought about Eliza. If she or Carl could see us sitting here having breakfast together they’d call lawyers. I really shouldn’t be here, I thought. This is bad. Adding insult to injury. I’ll just eat the toast and go, I told myself. Yes, that’s what I would do. I would excuse myself as gracefully as I could.
She returned to the table with a plate of toast. It looked reasonable. I took a bite. The bread was still frozen in the center.
“So?”
I swallowed it anyway and said, “What?”
“About us?”
“Eve, I’m going to love you until the day I die. But you know me. I’m a coward.”
We stared at each other and then we started to laugh.
“So am I!” she said. “Thank God! Otherwise I’d be dragging guilt around like Marley’s chains!”
“But if, God forbid, something happened to Eliza and Carl I’d call you right away.”
“Not funny, Adam.”
“Sorry. I’m just saying that now is probably not the ideal time for us, unless of course they left here and have already decided to throw us out and divorce us.”
“I really should probably call Eliza, but I feel like it would be admitting that something happened between us. Don’t you agree?”
Same Beach, Next Year Page 14