by Jamie Knight
We keep walking and she points out more flowers. "These are hydrangeas, and sweet peas. And those little ones there are lantana.”
She tells me a little more about each plant, almost like anecdotes about friends. Her knowledge astounds me. I'm starting to notice more about her than just her figure. She has a brain on her. Paired with her looks, it’s a lethal combination. I'm finding it more enjoyable than I thought.
She stops walking suddenly and turns around to look at me. I can see her cheeks turn pink in the moonlight and it’s absolutely adorable. "I'm so sorry for rambling. I forget not everyone likes flowers as much as I do. I must be boring you."
I walk the few steps towards her and cup her chin gently in my hand. Her eyes slowly meet mine, I can see the moonlight shimmering in them. I can’t stop staring at her. Her innocent beauty is something I'm not used to. It cuts through me, it stuns me, it's something that I can't get enough of. That scares me. I'm attracted to every part of her, body and mind. That hasn't happened to me in a long time, and while my first instinct is to flee, I can’t. I don't know how to deal with this, but I can't stop myself.
She lets out a soft gasp of surprise when she realizes how close my face is to hers. be honest, I'm surprised myself. I don't know if I can control myself around her. "Let me assure you, Lorelai, that every word that has fallen from your mouth tonight has utterly captivated me," I reply softly.
I watch her eyes widen. I can't tell if it's with surprise or delight, or a combination of both. I don't know what's come over me, but I can’t let her go. "There's just something about you." I murmur softly as I study every inch of her face.
Suddenly I lean forward and kiss her. There’s a sweetness, a tenderness to it, but it’s laced with pure, fiery passion beneath. I don't want to let go, and that is the scariest feeling of all. How much I don't want this moment or these feelings to end. We hold tightly to each other as she kisses me back.
I realize suddenly that this is the first kiss that I’ve initiated since my ex. With this kiss, I feel different, like the whole world is suddenly shifting underneath my feet. I feel something and I'm not sure if that's frightening or what.
I mean, the women I’ve hooked up with at auctions before have kissed me. The initiative was all on their part, though. I felt nothing, had no feelings or attachments to them. But being here now and kissing her, I can feel things moving in my soul that I didn't know existed anymore. It feels so new and strange, and suddenly I’m overwhelmed.
I quickly break the kiss and pull away from her. We both breathe heavily in the night air. Our eyes lock, but my fear forces me to look away from her.
Even so, the image of those sparkling hazel eyes is burned into my memory as if seared by a brand. Her face looks even more innocent and sweet by moonlight. I'm overwhelmed by so many different feelings. Guilt, because I never wanted to be involved in a relationship. I feel like I might be leading this poor girl on, but I’m also torn by confusion because I could easily end up falling for her.
It's the depth of these feelings that is frightening me a little. They are so new and unbelievably fast. Every time I have gone to an auction it was just meaningless sex with a woman. There was a reason I kept it that way. I keep looking at her face, and I don't know if I can fight off these feelings. It's like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff and I don't know whether to run back to safety or jump.
I'm sure other people who are looking for love are used to feeling this way, this terrifying uncertainty, but I’m used to knowing what to expect. I’m used to predictable. I'm not sure where to go from here, or what to think next. I have to take a few deep breaths to calm myself.
"Is everything ok?" She asks me softly.
I struggle to regain my composure before I finally nod. "Yeah, I’m fine. That was just intense,” I say, flashing her a smile.
Her cheeks color and she smiles. “Yeah, it was,” she murmurs.
We finish our walk around the garden, but I'm unable to concentrate on the rest of our conversation.
"I should take you home now. It’s getting late." I tell her reluctantly when we make our way back to the gate.
She looks up at me in surprise (and maybe it’s my imagination, but I think I see disappointment, too) before nodding her head in agreement. I walk her back to the car and open her door for her.
Can you just drop me off where the auction was? My car is still there."
I nod in response. I'm too much on edge to say anything right now. We sit in quiet the whole car ride over there, and I want to say something, but I’m too tangled in my own emotions.
When we arrive, she points me towards her car and I pull up beside it. She reaches for the door handle, then hesitates. "Thank you for a wonderful night."
“You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it,” I choke out.
She surprises us both by asking, "Maybe we can do it again sometime?"
I look down and see her leave one of her business cards on the passenger seat. My eyes widen in shock. "Um yes. I'll call you and let you know."
I watch her get into her car and pull out of her spot, and after a moment’s pause, I head out myself. When I stop at a red light, I look down at the card with her number. For some reason, I start to sweat. I force myself to think about something else, not wanting to get lost in my feelings or emotions. I don't like feeling scared or confused.
The light turns green and I speed away. I want to put as much distance as I can between me and everything right now. I don't know how else to process or deal with the tornado of emotions. I'm not much of a talker, so there's no one I share this with. I have a variety of methods that I use to block out my mind, but right now I just need to keep concentrating on the road.
When I get home, I take a long, hot, shower, then head to bed, trying to keep a certain redhead from drifting into my thoughts.
Chapter 10 - Lorelai
I wake up early in the morning feeling restless and anxious. After hurrying through my routine of showering and dressing for the day, I decide to distract myself from what's bothering me by cooking breakfast.
While I eat, I try to watch the news, but it doesn't really hold my attention. I'm halfway through my meal, and I'm back to worrying. I can't keep Gabriel off my mind. The other night is constantly in my head. It's the most powerful thought or memory that I have right now. It's also the most exciting thing to happen to me in a very long time.
What worries me now though, is that it’s been 3 days since my date with Gabriel and he hasn't called. I keep checking my phone, and still nothing. I replay the whole night in my head over and over again. Did I say or do something wrong? Did I offend him in some way? No matter how many times I think about it, that night seemed like a perfect night. Probably the only perfect date I have ever had.
I finish my breakfast, feeling more and more depressed.. Maybe he didn't like me as much as I thought he did. That night seemed so perfect to me, I don't know what happened. Maybe the chemistry that I felt was all on my end. But I couldn't have imagined it? Right? There was definitely something between us when he kissed me.
I get up with a sigh to wash dishes. I think back to how distant he seemed at the end of the night. After that kiss, he’d suddenly retreated into himself. Am I a bad kisser?
I try to remain logical by telling myself, "He said he gets wrapped up in work, he's probably just busy. Give him some time."
But it doesn't work. I can't stop my mind from obsessing over this. I don't know why, he’s still basically a stranger after all. But he’d made me feel so many new things. Whatever happened between us the other night was incredible and I wish it would happen again.
I just can't get over how he reacted on the way home. That's what leads me to think that I did something wrong. I take a cup of coffee and go sit on the couch in the living room, glad I don't need to be at the shop yet. But the extra time unfortunately leaves me with a lot of time to think and worry about this. This is going to be an in
credibly long day. I already feel tired.
I end up staring at my phone and willing it to ring. It doesn't, of course, so I'm more disappointed than before. I think back and remember how hot that kiss was. Both of us holding each other close. The way our lips felt together. I’d been more turned on than I’ve ever felt before.
I’d even briefly wished he’d won the bid for something more than just a date, shocking myself. I’ve been saving my virginity for so long, and now I’m suddenly ok with the idea of throwing it at this guy I went on one date with?
But something deep in my gut is just telling me he feels right. He's just so handsome and irresistible. It doesn't matter that he has money, I just like being with him. I want to know him more as a person. I want to see him again, but I don't think that is going to happen. Letting out a sigh, I hug a couch pillow to my chest. I imagine what it would be like if he did call.
I’d rush to answer it. He would ask me out again, like he said. We'd have another romantic night, I'd wear a sexy dress. He wouldn't be able to keep his eyes off of me during dinner.
Afterwards we'd share another moonlit walk, followed by another kiss. It would be so incredibly hot that I would lead him back to my apartment. My heart pounds in my chest as the fantasy unfolds. I want it to be hot, but gentle as well since it's my first time.
I'd take him by the hand to my room. I'd slip off my dress and would be wearing some sexy lingerie underneath. I don't own any, but I decide I might have to fix that.
Gabriel would pick me up in his strong arms and lie me on the bed. I can watch him undress, my eyes on every inch of his gorgeous body. I imagine him climbing on top of me.
Just the brush of his lips makes my body crave his touch even more. I wrap my legs around him. He slides my panties down my hips. I'm burning with desire, the hard length of his erection pressed against the inside of my thigh.
"Are you ready?"
"Oh yes!"
He smiles at me and I can feel his erection slide up the length of my thigh and into me. I can feel a pull or a pinch. I think a little discomfort, but suddenly it feels glorious. I'm so wet for him, and he slides in easily, despite the girth of his cock. He continues to move gently, and sensation builds and crests inside of me.
“Faster,” I plead softly, opening my eyes to meet his.
He eagerly obliges, and with each thrust my hips rise up to meet him. It feels even better than before. I don't want him to stop. He's so sweet and gentle. He leans down to kiss me again, and buries his face in the side of my neck. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. I can feel myself getting closer to my climax. "Don’t stop, I’m so close,” I whimper.
I don't want this moment to end between us. This is the most amazing thing I have ever done in my entire life. I never knew that love could be this hot and gentle at the same time. Maybe it’s because I'm with him.
I can feel all my muscles in my body tighten. I know what's going to happen, I know I'm about to cum. My whole body hums and my breath catches. I hold him even closer. "Oh, Gabriel!"
Suddenly my phone rings and I'm brought back to reality. My heart races, I'm so sure that its him. I hurry to answer it, not even bothering with the caller ID. "Hello?" I ask in a breathless voice.
"Hello, Ms. Rhys, this is Hayley with Field Textiles, we’re just calling to let you know that the ivory chiffon you had on backorder has finally come in and we’ll be shipping that out to you!" A chipper woman says from the other end of the line.
My heart sinks. "Oh um, thanks." I reply, trying and failing to keep the disappointment from my voice.
Fortunately, Hayley doesn’t seem to notice. "You are so welcome!” she chirps, “You can expect it at your shop within the next three days. Thank you for using Field Textiles!" She replies.
We both hang up and I throw the phone on the cushions and fall back with a groan. I stare up at the ceiling and then cover my face with my hands. I got carried away with my thoughts. It was dumb to think that he would be calling. Obviously I must have messed up or I did something to offend him.
Or maybe the attraction was only on my part and he’s just trying to let me off easy. Maybe I imagined the way he felt and reacted to me that night. I sigh softly and get up from the couch. I have no idea what to do or think. It's driving me crazy feeling this way, but no matter how hard I try, I can't get him out of my mind. Honestly, I don't know if I want to. Sure, his distant demeanor is a little intimidating, but there’s something underneath that’s just magnetic.
I sit on the couch and pull out the files that I use for work. I have a few clients left, so I begin to read through the details of the weddings and dress requirements. Maybe work is what I need. Maybe if I can immerse myself in something I love, I can forget about him and the way that I feel right now.
And I’m grateful when I finally become absorbed in it, losing my own thoughts and feelings to a world of lace and happy endings.
Chapter 11 - Gabriel
I thought being back in the office would help. But no matter how hard I’ve been trying to work, I can’t seem to concentrate. I feel like I'm on edge and I don't know why. It's making me insane, and making it impossible to get anything done.
I hate days where I'm not productive, and having this many in a row? It’s enough to make me fucking crazy. I tap my fingers rhythmically on my desk. I can't seem to sit still. Maybe it's because my mind is filled with a million thoughts and I can't seem to make them go away.
I look around my office and my eyes land on my clock on the wall. I roll my eyes when I see it's barely 9 am. Clearly this is going to be a long day. I hope I have enough mental strength to get through it. With a groan of frustration, I lean back in my chair, absentmindedly chewing on my thumbnail. I’ve never done that before. I realize what I'm doing and quickly pull my finger away from my mouth. No need for a new bad habit.
My gaze remains firmly locked on my cell phone. It sits in front of me on my desk. A few seconds pass. Suddenly I lean forward and grab it. I hold onto it for a few seconds. I look at it again, then shake my head. I slowly put it back down on the desk.
This whole stupid ritual is one I’ve been repeating, over and over, every day since my date with Lorelai. Ever since that night, I have been a confused and emotional wreck. I don't know why, this isn't me. I never develop feelings or emotions. I don't do attachments or relationships. So why am I acting like that's what this is turning into? I have no idea.
I get up and look out my office window, gazing at the street below. My eyes follow a couple of people out walking. The anxious feelings are still building, making me restless, so I start pacing the length of my office. I'm kicking myself.
It was foolish of me to get her number. It was even more foolish to promise that I would call her. I knew temptation was going to get the better of me. Now that I have her number I'll want to call her and see her again. I also feel guilty. I lied to her, I let her believe I would call.
I stop pacing and take a deep breath. I stand there and just fucking remind myself who I am and feel a little calmer. My mind a little more settled, I try again to focus, and I read through the stack of memos that's on my desk.
But of course, my mind drifts right back.
I mean, I only paid for the one date and that's all I needed right? I feel the doubt growing in my mind. I slam the paper that I was reading down on my desk in frustration. I can't get her out of my head. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I put my head in my hands and groan loudly.
I'm going to have a wicked headache, or stomach ache if I keep thinking about this. Or both. Lifting my head, I reach into my desk drawer and pull out a couple of antacid, popping them into my mouth. I put the bottle back in the drawer and chew the chalky tablets.
I think about that night constantly. I could have listened to her talk all night, about flowers, her bridal shop…hell, she could read me the phone book and I think I’d still be smitten.
I loved it when she would laugh or smile.
The way her eyes lit up in the moonlight. How I could see some of her freckles up close.
I think about that kiss. It had been perfect in a way I’d never experienced. I got to feel a little of her body when I pulled her closer. She had more than my heart at attention last night. I sigh wistfully. She's sweet, and beautiful with a body built for sin. Ideally she is the perfect woman. Any other man would be all over her in a second. The only things that are holding me back are these feelings that I seem to be developing for her. And to anyone else, they’d be a good thing. But I always do my best to keep this from happening. But maybe this time I can’t help it, because I've never met anyone like her before.
She really is the complete package. She is the exact opposite of every woman I have been with. It's just my luck that I happened to run into her at the auction. I play that night in my head again, all the way up until our kiss. Before I can stop myself, my thoughts go further. I imagine driving her home after the kiss. She invites me in. I can feel every curve of her body when she kisses me, pressing close. I imagine my fingers tangling in her red hair. Her eyes sparkling with desire.
She pulls off her dress and leads me to the bedroom. Then I'm naked in her bed, and when she joins me, I cover her body with kisses. I shower her with love. I can’t assume, but I'm guessing that from her timid personality, she might still be a virgin. Because of that, I want her first time to be special. I take it slow. Building up the moment. When we can't stand it any longer, I'm inside of her. Her body feels firm and tight around me. I thrust slowly. I want her to feel every inch of me, to cry out my name as she cums.
There is something so thrilling about being the first to have a woman. At the same time it's beautiful and emotional because you are their first time. I make slow sweet love to her. I’m gentle with each thrust.
Personally, I'm kind of kinky, and the sweet, tender scene is awfully vanilla for me, but I don't want to hurt her or scare her off. I want to see her and be with her again. I lean down and kiss her, then bury my face in the side of her neck. She smells incredible, sweet and delicate, like the flowers she talks about.