“Something like that...” She then quickly asked, “Were you a science major in college?”
Shep’s brows furrowed as he studied her, like he knew she was changing the subject and wanted to figure out why. “I didn’t go to college.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s what my parents expected and at that point, I wanted to do anything to make them mad, especially my dad.”
Rosie gave a small cry then, and Shep slowed the swing to a stop then lifted her out.
“She might be getting hungry,” Paige said, checking her watch.
The girl yawned.
“Are you already sleepy?” Shep asked his daughter then turned to Paige. “Did she nap well today?”
“Almost two hours,” Paige reported, finding it strange to have these little domestic conversations with Shep. It was funny how something that would have been so out of the ordinary just last week now felt normal. Like having Shep Bennett be such a big part of her life.
“That’s my girl,” Shep told Rosie, lifting her high above his head. Rosie laughed with delight.
“Do you mind taking her back to the house?” Paige asked. “I need to run an errand and it could take a couple of hours.”
“Sure,” Shep agreed. He’d bought an extra car seat for Paige’s Honda so that either of them could transport Rosie. “I’ll make dinner tonight.”
“Um...okay.” Paige wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or irritated. She’d never had a man offer to cook for her, but it also reminded her that The Bumblebee officially belonged to Shep. Her mother had called yesterday, ready to coordinate Paige’s return to Denver. Susan Harper had been frustrated and annoyed when Paige explained that she wasn’t giving up on her dream of reopening the inn quite yet.
“Unless you have other plans,” Shep said casually, obviously trying to give her an out based on her reaction to his offer.
“I do,” she blurted.
Disappointment flashed in his eyes but he quickly hid it, his mouth curving into the self-satisfied smirk she’d quickly come to realize was a defense mechanism on his part.
“Hot date?”
“As a matter of fact, yes,” she lied because he clearly hadn’t expected that she might answer in the affirmative. “It’s not a big deal.” She waved her hand in the air, hoping the gesture seemed casual instead of nervous. “A man I’ve been seeing for a few months.”
“Months?” Shep’s grip on Rosie tightened slightly. “Sounds serious.”
“Um...actually more like weeks. A month maybe. Feels like I’ve known him forever.” Oh, gah. Why couldn’t she get her mouth to stop moving? “It’s casual. But nice.” She drew in a deep breath and forced a smile. “Very nice.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw, like he cared that she might have a date tonight. Was that possible? “You haven’t mentioned a boyfriend before now.”
“Not a boyfriend,” she said quickly. “Not serious. I mean...it could be.” Sure. She could be having a serious relationship with her make-believe date. That would be lovely. “I’ve got to go.” She leaned in and kissed Rosie’s cheek, trying to ignore the heat of Shep’s body and how much she wanted to be closer to him.
Yep, she thought as she walked toward her car, a make-believe boyfriend was much safer than spending another evening with real-life Shep.
* * *
Shep’s stomach tightened as Paige’s car pulled up the driveway later that night. He’d put Rosie to bed an hour ago and now sat on the porch swing, a half-empty beer on the rail in front of him. It was a perfect summer evening, something he was quickly becoming used to in Crimson.
The blue sky of this afternoon had faded, and streaks of pink and orange soared above him, making everything appear to glow. A slight breeze eased the stillness of the approaching darkness, and he watched as Paige adjusted the elastic band that held back her curls, the sweater she wore lifting to show a pale strip of skin as she did.
Had she let her hair down earlier, for whomever she’d had dinner with? Some nameless, faceless man whom Shep already hated with a fiery passion.
Even though he had no right. No claim on her.
He’d called Cole earlier, casually working the mention of her date into the conversation. His twin hadn’t seemed to know anything about this mystery man, although he’d been happy to hear Paige was going out with someone. She deserved happiness, Cole said.
Well, duh. But why did she have to find it with some other guy?
Because you’re a jerk, his conscience reminded him. He was using her to help with Rosie and had no intention of giving her a chance to buy the inn.
Shep had told his conscience to shut the hell up.
“How was your evening?” he asked as she approached the steps.
“Fine,” she murmured, and he noticed her fingers grip the rail. “You?”
“Great. Rosie ate a decent dinner, took a bath without complaint and fell asleep minutes after I put her down. I’m not sure what it says about me that I rate the success of an evening almost entirely on whether we get through it without tears, but there you go.”
“No tears is a good thing,” Paige agreed. She got to the top of the stairs and paused, her gaze shifting between Shep and the front door, like she couldn’t quite decide which was more appealing.
Pick me, he wanted to scream. Pick me!
“Did you get your errand taken care of?”
She nodded.
“And dinner?”
“I ate,” she reported.
“I meant the date part of it,” he clarified. “How was your—”
“I lied,” she blurted, stalking toward him. She stopped a few inches from the swing, wrapped her arms around her waist and glared at him. “I never lie, but tonight I did with you. There was no date. I had no plans. I drove over to Grand Junction, finalized brochures for the inn then had dinner by myself, the way I did most every night before this week with you and Rosie.”
He slowed the swing, kept his features schooled and was careful not to show any signs of the happy dance he was doing on the inside.
“Why the lie?” he asked.
She lifted one shoulder, let it fall again. “It freaked me out when you offered to make dinner. This is my house.” She reached out and grabbed hold of one of the porch’s wood columns. “Or at least it should be. But you’ve changed everything. The worst part is I like having you here. I’m supposed to hate you, Shep. I want to hate you.”
“You told me you hated me,” he agreed, relieved beyond belief that she’d changed her mind.
“Exactly. I meant it, too. Except I didn’t.” She shook her head. “I don’t.”
“But dinner overstepped the bounds?” He stood, moved toward her until only inches separated them.
“What are the bounds of this?” she demanded when he took her hand.
He looked down at her small hand cradled in his, her skin creamy next to his work-roughened fingers. “Whatever you want them to be,” he said quietly.
She gave a small laugh. “That’s the problem,” she admitted. “I don’t want boundaries with you.”
“Thank God,” he whispered and leaned in to claim her mouth. Her lips were soft and tinged with sugar. “You stopped for ice cream on the way home,” he said against them and she made a little sound of agreement before pressing closer.
Yes. Closer. This was what he wanted. No more distance between them. No more wondering what she would feel like in his arms.
It was better than he could have ever imagined, and Shep had quite the imagination. He ran his tongue against the seam of her lips, desire roaring through his body when she immediately opened for him. Her arms wound around his neck, and he encircled her waist with his hands, loving the feel of her gentle curves under him.
Paige kissed him like she’d been wanting this moment as much as he had. He moved his hands under the hem of her shirt
and along her back, his fingers skimming the waistband of her jeans then dipping lower to... God help him...the lace edge of her panties.
His need for her overwhelmed him—he’d kissed plenty of women in his time, but this was different. Paige was different. He felt new with her. More. He wanted more.
As if she could feel the intensity of his desire, Paige pulled away, her cheeks flushed in a way that made him wonder if the color would extend across her whole body. Her eyes were cloudy with both desire and uncertainty, a mix of emotions he well understood at the moment.
“That was...” She drew in a shuddery breath. “Unexpected.”
“But not unpleasant, I hope?” He tried to make the question flirty and light but his voice came out on a croak. He hadn’t felt this close to losing control since he’d been a randy teenager in the back of his dad’s Ford truck, which he’d borrowed without permission, to pick up his first serious girlfriend.
Serious. Damn if he didn’t feel serious about the sweet, spunky, beautiful woman staring at him.
“The opposite of unpleasant in fact,” she said with a nod, lifting her fingertips to her mouth. “Maybe I should lie to people more often.”
“Don’t do that,” he told her, taking her hand again and leading her to the porch swing. They sat, and Shep draped an arm over Paige’s shoulders, pulled her closer. “But I’m all for the kissing that comes after. Tell me about the women you interviewed for the nanny position.”
She gave a little shake of her head. “Both nice and qualified but not right for Rosie.”
“Did she scream at first sight?” he asked with a sigh.
“It wasn’t that bad, but I didn’t get the feeling they’d be as patient with her as she needs.”
“I don’t know that anyone will be good enough for her except you.”
“You know this arrangement is temporary.”
For most of his adult life, Shep had reveled in temporary. He’d cultivated a nomadic lifestyle, much like the one he’d had as a military brat. Only he’d been in control. Where was that control when he needed it?
“I know,” he said quietly, sifting the ends of her soft curls through his fingers. “Monica’s dad called me today.”
Paige sat up straight, turned to face him. “Rosie’s grandpa?”
He nodded. “He and his wife want to meet her.”
“Just meet her?”
Shep felt his jaw tighten. “That’s as much as he’s telling me now, but I can’t help but think there’s more.”
“They couldn’t take her from you, right?”
“I don’t think so, although the call was a reminder that I need to make things official on the custody front.” He shook his head. “It’s still difficult for me to believe I’m her best bet.”
“You are,” Paige answered without hesitation. She scooted a few inches away then lowered her head to his lap, her dark hair spread across his jeans as she stared out at the night sky. She flipped off the sandals she wore and raised her feet to the swing’s armrest. Her pink-painted toes were about the sexiest thing Shep had ever seen, and he focused on staying in control of his body. He didn’t want to ruin the sweet intimacy of this moment by scaring her off with his raging lust.
“Is this okay?” Paige asked, as if sensing a change in him.
“It’s perfect.” He placed a hand on her stomach, one finger tracing patterns across the patch of skin that had been revealed where her shirt rode up.
“Tell me about your relationship with Cole.”
Paige posed the request casually, but Shep’s gut tensed in response. “It’s a classic case of golden child versus black sheep.” He cleared his throat. “I’m the sheep in case you hadn’t guessed.”
“But why?” she pressed. “You’re twins. It’s obvious you both want to be close.”
“Is it?” He gave a small laugh. “I’ve never thought of it that way. Our dad was career military, a tough guy who ran a strict house—or at least tried to. I was never much for rules, even when I was a kid. Cole was different. He fit easily into what my dad expected.”
Shep looked out toward the waning light of evening, the aspen leaves fluttering in the breeze and the sounds of crickets beginning to chirp from the nearby woods. Shep had spent a lot of time actively trying not to remember his childhood and what came after, the call that had changed all of their lives.
“Several years ago, my dad was arrested as part of a scandal involving about a dozen high-ranking army officers. He was charged with conspiracy and bribery. There was a ring of officers being bribed by a defense contractor in the Middle East. Apparently it had been going on for years, and he was one of the ringleaders.”
Paige covered his hand with hers but didn’t speak, which somehow made it easier for Shep to continue.
“I’d gotten in a lot of trouble when I was a kid for little white lies or ways I didn’t live up to my dad’s strict moral code. Turns out his code was a bunch of bull. I was a real sanctimonious jerk about it, to him, to my mom and to Cole.” He drew in a breath, familiar guilt moving through him. “Honestly, I don’t think I knew how much anger and resentment I carried until I had an outlet for it.”
“I understand,” Paige murmured.
He glanced down, her pretty gray eyes meeting his with compassion but no judgment. That would change when he told her the rest. “Cole didn’t understand. Having my father’s reputation in tatters tore him apart. He lost his hero when the scandal broke.”
“What happened to your dad?”
Shep closed his eyes and tried to stop the pain that stabbed into his heart every time he thought of his father. “He maintained his innocence so, of course, my mom believed him. I called him a liar, a cheat and pretty much every derogatory name I could think of to tear him down from the pedestal he always seemed to occupy for me. He’d demanded Cole and I both come back home to support Mom. He shot himself the day we arrived.”
At that little bombshell, Paige sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. Shep had no idea how much he needed the comfort until she offered it to him. He pulled her into his lap and concentrated on drawing breath in and out of his lungs.
“It’s fine,” he said when he trusted his voice. “It was years ago.”
“That doesn’t make it less awful,” she whispered against his throat. “I can’t imagine how your mom got through it.”
“With no help from me,” Shep admitted. “I was so damn angry with him. It felt like such a cop-out. He killed himself and left the rest of us to deal with the fallout. They stripped him of his rank, and the scandal destroyed his reputation. My mom was a career army wife. All her friends were military wives, and most of them turned their backs on her.” He sighed. “But I was no better.”
Paige drew back, cupped one hand on his jaw. “What do you mean?”
“I got in a fight with Cole at the funeral. Egged him on about what a scumbag Dad had been and we ended up throwing punches inside the sanctuary. I can’t remember a time I’ve seen Mom so mad, and I did plenty to push her buttons when I was younger.”
“She’s your mom,” Paige told him gently. “I’m sure she understands that you were hurting.”
“She died six months later. A heart attack.”
Paige’s eyes darkened with sympathy. “Did you reconcile before that?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “She tried because that’s who she was—sweet and caring to a fault.” He brushed a wisp of hair from her face. “You remind me of her in that way—how easily you care about people.”
“Thank you.”
He inclined his head. “Which is why I know I’m a bad bet for you, Paige. I hurt my mother badly. I never saw her after the funeral. We talked on the phone a few times, but that’s all I’d give her. I was self-absorbed, intent on proving I wasn’t like my dad. I wanted to be a success without any shortcuts.”
; “You aren’t like him,” she said with so much conviction it made him want to weep with gratitude.
“I talked to him after the arrest, a few days before he died. He told me the reason he’d been so hard on me as a kid was because he saw himself in me. He knew I’d always look for the easy way out and that it would get me in trouble in the same way it had for him. The basic message was that he’d been a bad seed and I was a chip off the old block.”
“No—” she insisted, and he placed a finger against her lips. Right now he needed everything out in the open. Paige had to understand who he was, and if she went screaming in the other direction, he wouldn’t stop her.
“I don’t cheat,” he agreed, “and I’m not swindling my company out of millions. But I fight dirty, and I play to win. Very rarely do I even notice the collateral damage when I’m intent on a goal. I thought I’d have more time with my mom. I wanted to return home a success and to know that I’d earned it the right way.”
“Do you think she cared?”
He shook his head. “I know she didn’t because she told me as much. She just wanted me home, but I couldn’t give her that. I put my needs in front of hers and look where it got me.” He closed his eyes and whispered, “I couldn’t bring myself to go to her funeral.”
“What about Cole?”
“That was the straw that broke my golden brother’s back,” he admitted. “It was years ago and until the day I showed up in Crimson, we hadn’t spoken.”
“But you knew he was okay,” Paige guessed. “Don’t twins have some kind of sense for how the other one is doing?”
“I guess. And, yes, I kept up on him so I knew he was doing well.”
“Your mother wouldn’t want you to still carry this guilt.”
Paige sounded so sure, and he wanted to believe her. “How do you know that?”
“Because,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “I wouldn’t want that if I had a son and I’m like her, right?”
One side of his mouth curved. “You’re too clever for your own good.”
“Or for yours,” she added. “Think about it, Shep. Is there anything Rosie could do that would make you not love her? Anything you wouldn’t try to forgive her for?”
Anything for His Baby Page 9