Dashing Through the No

by Sivec, Tara

  “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas!”

  Tess groans as the hippo pillow sings beneath my foot that I just stomped on like glass, in honor of our Jewish friend and officiant, Millie.

  And because it’s fucking hilarious!

  “You’re telling our grandkids this story.” Tess shakes her head at me as I wrap my arms around her and kiss her again while she mumbles against my lips. “I want absolutely no part of repeating this story.”

  EPILOGUE

  Bodhi

  “Dashing through the no.”

  Christmas Eve

  “Want some more of my hot beef in your mouth?”

  I smirk at Tess while I hold up a forkful of the best pot roast dinner I’ve ever tasted in my life that she had Allie help her make for us tonight.

  “You are ridiculous,” she groans, trailing off into quiet laughter while we finish eating.

  Even though Tess spent most of her life protesting the idea of marriage, it suits her. She laughs easier, doesn’t threaten people’s lives as much, and she doesn’t reach for her lighters as often. I think coming to terms with the fact that she’s pregnant, and not blaming it on dying from a brain tumor like she’s been doing for the last two months, helped as well.

  “I swear to God if you take one more potato off my plate, I will gut you like a fish,” Tess growls, smacking my fork away with her own.

  She hasn’t gone completely soft though, thank goodness.

  Not only did Tess surprise me a few days ago with things I wrote down on a list in a pot-induced haze in the back of a van twelve years ago, but she surprised me again by making all my Christmas wishes come true without even realizing it. I didn’t exactly write everything down on that list back then. I was high for the first time in my life. I’m lucky I could even spell most of those things.

  It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m spending it eating roast beast, wearing matching Christmas pajamas, curled up by the tree in the Redingers’ private living room, as it gently snows outside through the windows, in front of a roaring fire currently burning my “you’ll log.” Just like I’ve seen on TV.

  And best of all? I’m spending it with someone who loves me for me. Who lets me be whoever I want and doesn’t shame me for my choices, whatever they might be. And who will deal with the hour-long screaming wrath of the Bennetts when she informs them we won’t be home to spend the night tonight with everyone, because she extended our reservation. So we could have a quiet Christmas Eve with just the two of us, while the Redingers and Millie are over at Jason and Allie’s place, and all the guests are out in the barn watching a movie.

  Well, almost just the two of us. Tess made a small concession with the Bennetts to get them to calm down about us not being home with them tonight.

  “I’m just saying, it looks weird that Tess and Bodhi match each other, and they aren’t wearing the shirts I made for all of us tonight. I told you FedEx would have gotten to West Virginia in time.”

  “I am not wearing a glittery shirt all freaking night long that says Christmas is too sparkly, said no one ever!

  “Shepherd, honey, tell Owen he doesn’t have to wear the shirt all night.”

  “If the kid doesn’t have to wear it all night long, then neither do I. Who the hell turned up the Christmas music? That racket is giving me a headache.”

  “Everyone say hello to Rex Matthews! He’s my Christmas date and will be spending the holidays with us!”

  “Uh, Laura, I thought you said Steve Clements was your Christmas date. The guy who did that thing with the jingly balls from your front door wreath.”

  “No, Emily, that was Fred Lumbar. Who knew wreath bells could be used as Ben Wa ba—”

  “Mom! Come on, it’s Christmas Eve, and I’d like to spend one year not vomiting.”

  “At least take off your pants and show me the Christmas underwear I made that FedEx did get to you in time. I got a new attachment for my Cricut that—”

  I slam the laptop lid closed that’s sitting in the middle of the coffee table and cut Shepherd off. Tess lets out a long, happy sigh when the room is silent again, and it’s back to officially being just the two of us in here. The video chat Tess agreed to so everyone wouldn’t miss us so much sounded like a good idea at the time. And honestly, up until the last five minutes, it was really nice spending the evening with everyone we love. We walked the laptop around The Redinger House and showed them all the crazy Christmas decorations, we propped the laptop facing the windows for a little while so they could appreciate all the snow, and we had a good time catching up with everyone while we all “ate together.”

  Best. Christmas Eve. Ever.

  “You’re totally wearing the underwear Shepherd overnighted, aren’t you?”

  “You’re goddamn right I’m wearing a tight pair of red underoos that say Oh what fun it is to ride over my dick.” I nod. “Speaking of beef, you sure you don’t want any more?”

  Tess shakes her head when I point to the plate of foil-covered food in front of us.

  “I think I’ve officially eaten enough tonight, Mr. Powell,” Tess states as she pushes back from the coffee table and pulls her legs up onto the couch, making my heart skip a beat as I set my empty plate down on the coffee table next to hers.

  Not just because I fucking love hearing her call me Mr. Powell, using her last name, but because of the real reason why Tess made all my Christmas wishes come true.

  “You down with BPP?” I sing, as I scoot closer to her on the couch.

  I gently shove her hands away from where my eyes were glued to them resting on her stomach, so I can rest my own hand there against the wish I didn’t even know I wanted until it came true.

  “We are not singing that song every time someone says your new name.” Tess laughs, the sound always like music to my ears as her stomach bounces with her laughter against my palm.

  My heart skips again, wondering how I got so lucky that all my dreams are coming true. I’m finally going to have my own family to love and to cherish, and to never, ever judge for their choices, always supporting whatever they do, as long as it makes them happy. You know, as long as it isn’t like, a meth addiction or a gambling habit.

  Leaning down, I put my mouth right against Tess’s stomach. “We’ll see about that. Won’t we, Tiny Tim? Sing it with Daddy! You down with BPP?”

  Tess lets me sing an entire round of the song and give her belly a kiss before she slides her hand through my hair and gently tugs. Pulling my face up closer to hers, she smiles when Jack Skellington starts singing “What’s This?” from the flat screen television hanging above the fireplace. Watching The Nightmare Before Christmas is a new Christmas Eve tradition that Tess insisted upon, if I was going to make her suffer through It’s a Wonderful Life later. I was so happy she even suggestion any kind of a Christmas tradition that I would have agreed to watching A Nightmare on Elm Street every year, if that’s what she wanted.

  “I love you the most-est,” I whisper.

  Tess drops her hand from my hair and snuggles into my side, resting her head on my shoulder and throwing her legs over my lap, laughing softly when I refuse to remove my hand from her stomach.

  “You better,” she sighs back contentedly as I kiss the top of her head, while she softly starts singing along with the movie.

  I know things won’t always be smooth sailing. No marriage is ever perfect. I’m going to do stuff that pisses Tess off, and Tess is going to do stuff that pisses me off. I’ll probably accidentally get super stoned right before she wants to have a serious talk and not hear one word of it, and she’ll probably accidentally light another article of clothing of mine on fire while it’s still on my body. We’re gonna fight about stupid little things, and we’re gonna disagree about important big things, because life isn’t perfect, and we’ll have hurdles to jump over. But we’re never going to stop fighting in the right direction for what we want, and we both want the happily ever after we read about in our bedtime stories. Even if Tess says they’re
boring and predictable.

  Life with Tess Powell will be anything but boring and predictable. It will be fucking terrifying and exciting, and I will always be happy to stay in one place, as long as I’m staying with her.

  “You know how we agreed not to go to the other side of the mountain the last few days just to buy some presents for each other so we’d have something to open tomorrow?” I quietly ask Tess as Jack Skellington kidnaps Santa.

  “Correct, because we already shopped for each other, and all of our presents are back home, and we agreed to just open everything when we get back to Summersweet,” Tess replies.

  It made me love Tess even more that she didn’t care about having anything to open tomorrow. She might think she’s not good with the mushy stuff, but when she said the important thing about Christmas is being with who you love and not about the presents, I cried like a goddamn baby.

  And then totally didn’t listen to a word she said, because come on! It’s Christmas, and she has to have something to open.

  This is that part of our marriage where I’m going to do something to piss Tess off, just in case you aren’t paying attention.

  “What the hell is this?”

  Tess bolts up on the couch next to me when I slide an envelope out of the pocket of my shorts and hand it to her.

  “Just another Christmas tradition where we get to open one present on Christmas Eve. Did I forget to tell you about that one?” I ask with a cheeky smile as she narrows her eyes at me. “I didn’t go to any stores to buy anything, so technically I didn’t break any rules.”

  With a sigh, Tess finally looks away from me and rips into the envelope, pulling the tri-folded piece of paper out. Followed by the most blood-curdling scream I have ever heard come out of a human before.

  “What the fuck did you do?” Tess finally whispers once she’s gotten all the screaming out of her system, her eyes scanning the words on the paper.

  “Yeah, so, you know how you told me I wasn’t allowed to spend any of that money I earned being a caddie for Palmer, unless it was something important that was worth spending my money on?”

  “You son of a bitch. You’re sleeping on the couch forever.”

  Tess sniffles and swipes away at a tear that falls down her cheek, and I’m surprised she doesn’t smack my hand away when I rest it against her back and start rubbing soothing circles with my palm.

  “This is the deed to my cottage,” Tess mutters, shaking the paper in her hand as she continues glaring at me through her tears.

  “Correct. It’s officially yours. I want us to start fresh without you worrying about the mistakes someone else made. You shouldn’t have to pay for your grandmother’s mistakes. It’s time for you to make your own, so our kids have to pay for them.” I wink at her.

  It takes her a few minutes of sniffling back tears and pushing back the need to reach down the front of her Let’s get baked pajama top and grab the lighter in her bra, but she finally returns my smile.

  “Right on, I guess.” Tess shrugs, refolding the deed, sliding it back into the envelope, and setting it down on the coffee table next to our plates before she snuggles back into my side.

  I’ll wait until we’re back home to tell her there are currently two FAO Schwartz trucks on their way to the island. I’d much rather die in the comfort of my own living room than on vacation. I just hope she lets me test out the slide on the pirate ship tree house first.

  “Did someone scream? I thought I heard screaming. I’ve got duct tape if you—”

  “We’re fine, Sheldon!” Tess and I cut the poor man off when he pops his head in the living room, the reindeer antlers switched out for a festive Santa hat this evening.

  “Alright, well, I’m gonna head on out to the barn with everyone else. I’ll keep one ear open for more screaming in case you need me.”

  With a nod, he disappears down the hallway, and I go back to cuddling my wife.

  “After I fuck the hell out of you in front of the Christmas tree when the movie is over, we should bundle up, head outside, and go dashing through the—”

  “No,” Tess stops me.

  I let out a big sigh, and she pulls her head back from my shoulder, narrowing her eyes at me when I push my bottom lip out.

  “Fine!” she finally relents after a few seconds with a roll of her eyes, as I start bouncing up and down on the couch next to her. “But only for a little bit, and you have to wear a hat and a scarf this time.”

  And I will. Because I love it when Tess orders me around.

  Totally gets my dick hard.

  “You’re gonna be the best mom ever.”

  “Fuck off,” Tess mutters, but I see a big smile come across her face before she rests her head back on my shoulder.

  “If you reach under the pillow by your arm, there might be a small Christmas Eve present in there for you as well,” Tess says nonchalantly.

  Sliding my hand under the pillow, I pull out a folded piece of paper shoved between the arm of the couch and the cushions, shaking it out to unfold it with one hand.

  “It’s not Ten guys named Lord leaping over something, like, really tall, as per your Christmas list of necessities, but I thought this would be just as good,” Tess informs me when I finally finish reading the paper and turn to look at my wife with the biggest smile on my face, knowing I made the best decision ever to stay in one place with this woman.

  “Baby! You bought a small plot of land in Scotland for $195 so I could officially become Lord Bodhi Armbruster of Tess Powell Manor?”

  “I’ll send them an email and have the official deed updated with your married name,” Tess reassures me as she snuggles deeper into my side.

  Tucking my lordship paperwork into the back pocket of my shorts, I kiss the top of Tess’s head and smile when she starts singing along to “Oogie Boogie’s Song.”

  Yep. Best Christmas Eve. Ever.

  With many, many more to come.

  The End

  Want to hang out with Millie again, and see where Allie and Jason began?

  Check out their book, Christmas Cliché!

  Other books in the Summersweet Island Series:

  Kiss My Putt (Summersweet Island #1)

  Swing and a Mishap (Summersweet Island #2)

  First and Tension (Summersweet Island #4)

  Remember Tess and Bodhi’s bedtime story, The Stocking Was Hung? If you’re looking for another crazy Christmas story, I’ve got you covered!

  The Stocking Was Hung (The Holidays #1)

  Check out all of Tara’s books:

  tarasivec.com