by Rose Pearson
“Yes, I am aware of what you have already tried to do,” Lord Halifax interrupted, mildly. “But I’m afraid I will not be put off. Miss Brookes, I must speak to you in private.”
Jane’s stomach roiled, her hand clutching Mary’s arm. She had thought that this moment would be a good deal more wonderful than this, quite certain that Lord Halifax intended to propose to her but found that she was not at all excited by the prospect. Perhaps it was the gravitas in his voice or the way that George was shaking his head, looking mutinously up at Lord Halifax.
“Good gracious, Lord Halifax!” Mary exclaimed, suddenly staring at Lord Halifax’s cheek. “Have you been in some sort of accident?”
Jane tipped her head, looking at Lord Halifax again only to see a large bruise by his ear. In the flickering shadows of the drawing room, she had not immediately seen it.
“I’m afraid that this was my doing, my dear sister,” George interrupted, taking a step in front of Lord Halifax. “Jane, you are not to go with him. You cannot.”
Lord Halifax’s shoulders slumped, his gaze still fixed on hers. “Please, Miss Brookes,” he said, softly. “Mr. Grainger, although entirely honorable in his attempts to protect you, has quite misunderstood what occurred, nor has he given me a chance to explain.”
“Explain?” Mary interjected, patting Jane’s hand gently by way of reassurance. “What has happened, Lord Halifax?”
Lord Halifax closed his eyes tightly for a moment. “I would not like to speak of it here, Lady Harrows,” he replied, his voice dropping low. “For there may be worse to come and I would like Miss Brookes to know the truth of it all before then.”
Jane felt herself tremble inside. This was not to be a proposal, then. There was something much more severe going on, a severity that was tearing at Lord Halifax’s heart and evidently filling him with anxiety. She looked to George Grainger, the man who was more like a brother to her than a friend and saw him shake his head. Her mind filled with confusion. She trusted and relied upon George, knowing that whatever he was doing, he was doing it for her best – but then again, she loved Lord Halifax and, with that knowledge, surely, she had to give him the chance to explain whatever it was that was troubling him so?
“I will speak to you, Lord Halifax,” she said, slowly, as George let out a frustrated noise. “Where shall we go?”
“Just to the corner of the room, I think,” Lord Halifax said, looking both relieved and utterly grateful. “I cannot know when the thunder will hit us so we must be prepared.”
Visibly trembling, Jane turned to Mary and saw the widening of her eyes, her growing concern evident.
“The four of us will go together,” Jane said, firmly, trying to find some strength within herself. Her confidence rose as Lord Halifax gave her a small smile, her eyes filled with a deep desperation that pained her heart. “George, you will listen to everything that Lord Halifax has to say – as will I – and thereafter, we will consider it carefully.”
George shook his head but said nothing.
“Thank you, Miss Brookes,” Lord Halifax said, his hand touching hers for just a moment. “You cannot know what this gesture means to me. I pray that you will continue to be as open and as trusting with what you have to hear next.”
Jane lifted her chin, feeling herself slowly begin to settle as she walked into the corner of the room, leaving Mary and George to follow her. She had to stop allowing others to tell her what to do and simply accept it. Even though she knew George meant well, she did not want him to turn around and tell her that she had to ignore Lord Halifax, had to turn from him without even allowing him an opportunity to talk about whatever was troubling him.
“I’m afraid, Miss Brookes, that this matter concerns Lady Crawford,” Lord Halifax began, practically the moment they had hidden themselves in the shadowy corner. “You may not know who she is but –”
“Yes, I know,” Jane interrupted, an icy hand grasping her heart. “I have become well aware of her…presence.” She shot a quick glance towards Mary, who was frowning heavily as Lord Halifax rubbed one hand across his forehead. Indeed, it had been Mary who had mentioned this particular lady in the first place. From what Jane remembered, Lady Crawford was a poor widow who used her favors to garner protection and the like from gentlemen of the ton and she did not care who knew it. She could not imagine how Lord Halifax had come to involve himself with her.
“I saw him,” George hissed, jabbing one finger in Lord Halifax’s direction. “I saw him come out of her house only yesterday afternoon. You have no explanation for that, Lord Halifax.”
“I do,” Lord Halifax replied, quickly, as Jane drew in a sharp breath. “It is the fact that you would not listen to me state it clearly that had you planting me a facer.” He pressed one hand to his cheek, wincing just a little. “Lady Crawford has attempted to manipulate me. I have refused to agree to her demands and, therefore, she intends to punish me by smearing my name.”
Jane swallowed hard, her eyes widening with shock. Lady Crawford was a manipulative shrew, from what Mary had said, but that did not seem to prevent gentlemen from seeking out her favors.
“I helped her in the snow storm a few days ago,” Lord Halifax continued, earnestly. “She has since stated that she will use that event to make out that I was…perhaps doing more than simply aiding her.” His face flushed red and he dropped his gaze as though embarrassed to speak so candidly. “She asked for money in order to stop her from doing what she had threatened and, initially, I was to give it to her.”
Drawing in a long breath, Jane looked at him steadily, hearing the noise of the guests fade away as she focused everything upon Lord Halifax. “But you did not do it, Lord Halifax?”
“No,” he whispered, as she took a step nearer to him. “No, I did not. I could not do it, Miss Brookes. I feared that she would then use such a thing to take more and more from me and that the fear I was left with would constantly haunt my every step. The only reason I first considered giving her what she asked for was because of you.”
She was closer to him now, seeing the fire burning in his eyes, the hope that flared deep within.
“I did not want you to be harmed by her lies,” he finished, his words barely reaching her ears. “I planned to come to you straight away to tell you all that had occurred so that you would be protected, but I am afraid that Mr. Grainger had other ideas.”
She glanced at George, who was still looking rather sullen. “I understand, Lord Halifax,” she murmured, feeling as though she was slowly sinking into the floor with the weight of what was slowly being revealed.
“The bookshop owner will confirm everything I have told you,” he said, quickly. “He was the one who saw me help Lady Crawford into his shop and he was the one who overheard her conversation with me. Oh, Miss Brookes, if only you will believe me! If only you will trust that I am not involved with Lady Crawford in any way!” Throwing his head back, he let out a long groan before dropping his chin to his chest, evidently in abject misery.
“Lord Halifax,” she replied, ignoring George’s growl of disinclination to believe Lord Halifax. “You need not be afraid for my sake.”
“But I am,” he muttered, not raising his head. “For I am quite sure that Lady Crawford will do all she can to turn me away from society, even though her own reputation is less than perfect. It is her revenge for my lack of willingness to do as she asks.” Slowly, his gaze lifted to hers. “What will you do then, Miss Brookes?”
Chapter Ten
For a long time, neither Lord Halifax nor Jane spoke. Blood was roaring in her ears, making her stomach clench with a sudden fright as though she had finally recognized what Lord Halifax was so afraid of.
He did not want to lose what they had only just begun to explore together, but now that Lady Crawford could threaten his very reputation, he was afraid that she might be smeared by those rumors also.
“I think,” Mary murmured, in her ear, “you may wish to consider your answer for a little longer, Jane.
Look. Lady Crawford is here.”
“Lady Crawford?” George exclaimed, evidently overhearing them. “Where?”
Jane threw a glance towards Lord Halifax, seeing him pale slightly but then turn towards the oncoming onslaught that he was sure to face. Lady Crawford, whether she had been invited or not, had obviously come to the soiree this evening in an attempt to decry Lord Halifax.
Jane felt herself being pulled away by Mary and, without realizing what she was doing, allowed herself to be taken a few steps away from Lord Halifax, coming to stand with Mary on one side and George on the other. It was as if she were deliberately setting herself apart from the man, as though she wanted him to deal with Lady Crawford on his own, instead of standing by his side. Lord Halifax looked at her for a moment, his eyes filled with a deep disappointment that had her almost surging forward towards him, had it not been for Mary’s hand on her arm.
“Lord Halifax!” Lady Crawford exclaimed, coming to stand directly in front of him with another gentleman by her side. “I have just now been telling Lord Dolton what it is you have tried to do, and he insisted on coming here this very evening to confront you.”
The sound of her voice carried across the room, bringing the other conversations to a complete stop. The room became breathless, as though the house itself were waiting in anticipation for Lord Halifax to speak.
“Lady Crawford,” Lord Halifax said, eventually, putting his hands behind his back and standing a little taller. “If this is your attempt to ruin my reputation, then I’m afraid you will have to do a little better than that.”
Lady Crawford smirked, her pale blue eyes filled with wrath. “You mock me, do you?” she asked, in a pained voice. “You try and laugh at the person you have tried to seduce?”
A ripple of shock ran around the room, sending Jane’s stomach into a spasm of anxiety.
“You know full well that is not the case, Lady Crawford,” Lord Halifax returned, firmly. “I came to your aid during a snow flurry and you have attempted to use that kindness in your own way and for your own means. I will not have it, I tell you.”
The other guests slowly began to move forward to were Lady Crawford and Lord Halifax were standing, sending another wave of nerves crashing through Jane. She wanted to go to Lord Halifax’s side, wanted to prove to him and to herself that she trusted him completely and that, knowing Lady Crawford’s reputation, she believed everything he had said. And yet, her feet were like blocks of ice, holding her tight to the floor.
Lady Crawford put one hand to her head, as though struggling to comprehend what Lord Halifax was saying. “This is your excuse then, Lord Halifax? You come to London and take advantage of a poor, lonely widow? You think that your good name and your standing in society can cover it up?”
Lord Halifax closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “Lady Crawford, without being rude, society is well aware of not only my reputation, but yours. There will be more than one gentleman, I am sure, who has found themselves manipulated by you.”
To Jane’s horror, Lady Crawford swung her hand out and slapped Lord Halifax hard in the face, before stumbling back into the waiting arms of Lord Dolton, who then threatened to call Lord Halifax out for such rudeness towards Lady Crawford, the lady whom Lord Halifax had apparently already wronged.
“This is nonsense,” Mary said, firmly, her expression rather grim. “You may be disinclined to believe what you saw, Grainger, but I am quite inclined to believe the viscount.”
Her brother said nothing but shrugged. Jane, feeling caught in between the two siblings, drew in a ragged breath, fear tightening itself around her heart.
“I have to do something,” she whispered to herself, her heart pained in what she saw happening directly in front of her. Lord Halifax was the one man she loved, the only gentleman she had never been able to forget, and she was not about to stand far away from him and allow Lady Crawford to run, roughshod, over him.
She trembled, knowing that to step forward and speak aloud to Lady Crawford would be to speak to the assembled guests also. She would have to reveal the depths of her heart to them all, would have to share what she had come to recognize as love. Being so unused to speaking of her feelings to anyone, the very thought had her shaking visibly.
“Jane?” Mary whispered, looking at her with a confused expression. “Is something wrong? Is it Lady Crawford?” She frowned, darting a hard glance towards Lady Crawford, who was now apparently weeping in the arms of Lord Dolton whilst Lord Halifax rubbed his cheek. “I am not inclined to believe her, my dear. I do think Lord Halifax is being quite truthful, despite my brother’s desire to defend you.”
Jane nodded, her fingers twisting as she held them tightly in front of her. She had to do this. She had to speak aloud to the guests and to Lord Halifax, so that his reputation might be saved and to prove to him that he had both her trust and her heart.
Her stomach twisted. She was plain, was she not? The guests might laugh at her, thinking that Lord Halifax could do a good deal better in his choice of lady than her. In fact, they might not even believe her, not when Lady Crawford was standing there in all her majestic beauty. Her fair hair, blue eyes, and delicately oval face were a far cry from her dark tresses, somewhat dull eyes and rather strong jaw.
And yet, Lord Halifax has never been able to forget you.
The memory of what he had said to her that day in the library came back to her mind with such force that she struggled to breathe for a moment, realizing that she had to make a choice. She had to choose to believe those words and, in doing so, find the strength she needed to go to his aid, or she had to sink back into the shadows, still filled with uncertainty and doubt. Her mother’s harsh words, said to her over and over again, came forcefully back to her mind. Her heart sank low in her chest, recalling how she had been told that she would never amount to very much. She was not worthy of the viscount, given that it had been her sister that had been pushed towards him first.
And then, Lord Halifax turned his head and looked into her eyes. Jane’s eyes burned with tears, seeing the two roads before her. Rejecting the one of her mother’s angry words, the road lined with anger, frustration and insecurity, she held Lord Halifax and, gently pushing away Mary’s hand, walked away from her friends and towards Lord Halifax.
Lady Crawford’s feigned upset immediately seemed to stop, for, without even drying her eyes, she lifted her head from Lord Dolton’s shoulder and glared at Jane, her arms folded across her chest.
“Lady Crawford,” Jane began, hating that there was a tremor to her voice. “I cannot stand here and allow you to decry Lord Halifax in such a fashion. Not when it is patently clear to me – as well as to many others – that what you have accused him of is nothing more than a lie.”
Her words elicited a gasp from Lady Crawford and a good few whispers began to sound from the guests behind her. Jane lifted her chin and refused to allow the trembling in her heart to quell her voice.
“Is that so?” Lady Crawford sneered, her eyes glittering. “And who might you be, might I ask?”
Jane smiled up at Lord Halifax, despite her ongoing battle with her confidence. “I am the lady that Lord Halifax came to London to find,” she said, softly, although it seemed to her that her voice traveled right to the very back of the large drawing room. “I am the lady that has loved Lord Halifax from the very first moment we met, only to find that it seemed nothing could come of it.” She kept her eyes fixed on him, drawing courage from his slowly increasing smile. “When all seemed lost, I came to London to escape my sorrow, only to discover that Lord Halifax had come in search of me. I know that he would not have broken apart such happiness to do something so terrible.” She turned back to Lady Crawford, aware that every eye was on her, every ear listening to each word she had to say. “He is not a gentleman who seeks the company of ladies such as yourself, Lady Crawford. He is a good, kind, and wise man when it comes to choosing the company he keeps. He is single-minded and determined and has made me happier t
han I could have ever imagined.” Lifting her chin, she pinned the lady with her gaze, feeling her breath shudder out of her as she forced herself to say the very last, the most important thing of all. “Lord Halifax has my heart, Lady Crawford. I love him very dearly and I refuse to accept what you say of him. That is not the gentleman I know. He would not take something as delicate as my heart and trample it into the mud.”
“And I would not give Miss Brookes up for a quick fling with you, Lady Crawford,” Lord Halifax interjected, his voice ringing around the room as he gently touched Jane’s hand. “I have sought her and pursued her, lost her and then found her again. My joy is complete in her. I have never once considered you. I would not so much as look at you twice, Lady Crawford. Miss Brookes is the most beautiful lady in all of England as far as I am concerned, and you simply could not match up to her.”
Jane felt tears on her cheeks as she smiled up into Lord Halifax’s face, his fingers curling through hers. The room was deathly silent for a moment, only to be broken by the sound of Lady Crawford’s scream.
“No!” she shouted, her face burning red with anger. “No, that is not the case, Miss Brookes, whoever you are. You do not know Lord Halifax as I do. I –”
“I think, Lady Crawford,” said a voice, as the master of the house suddenly appeared by her side, the crowd moving to the side to let him through. “That you have outstayed your welcome. In fact, I have no recollection of sending you an invitation. Nor you, Lord Dolton.”
The room became completely still as Lady Crawford suddenly turned puce, looking up into Lord Fraser’s stern expression.
“I suggest you take your leave, Lady Crawford,” Lord Fraser said, gesturing towards the door. “I do not think I will have cause to welcome you here again.”
Letting out a long sigh of relief, Jane watched as Lady Crawford dropped her head, her shoulders slumping as the fight left her. Lord Dolton kept his head high, however, as he led Lady Crawford from the room. The crowd parted like the sea to let them through, each person watching the couple silently until the door finally closed behind them.