by Erin Havoc
Being his employee. Younger. Poorer. Being a curvy girl dating a rich, extremely good looking man.
I’ve thought of this. And I don’t care. All I want is him.
My whole face is so warm now I’m starting to sweat. I press my hands on my thighs, wiping them on my dress, but it makes me feel self-conscious. When I lift my gaze, I meet Ben’s questioning eyes.
I clear my throat, leaning to Asher. “I’ll be back in a second. Restroom.”
He nods once, turning back to his family as I get up and weave my way between tables to the nearest ladies’ room.
On my way back, I catch sight, near the table, of the most beautiful vase of flowers I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed it when I arrived. The vase itself is enormous, and the flowers stand almost as tall as I am, in a huge bouquet. Walking on clouds, mostly feeling like a teenager in love, I approach the bouquet to sniff on it.
That’s when I hear the voices.
“Can you believe that? Marketing.” It’s Mrs. Hunt. She doesn’t hide the disgust in her voice.
“Well, at least she has a job.” The older Mr. Hunt says. “And her kind is definitely not in for the money.”
My kind? What kind?
“Really, Arthur?” Mrs. Hunt scoffs and I lift my head to the table. The flowers are indeed so large they hide me from their sight. I cannot even see the group from here. My heart racing, I wonder about revealing myself or waiting. If I’m caught, they’ll be mad at me for eavesdropping. “You really think all gold-diggers are skinny? Don’t be innocent.”
Oh, wow. Mr. Hunt doesn’t think I’m a gold-digger because of my size. I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.
And why isn’t Asher saying something?
As if summoned, I hear his voice answering.
“You two are thinking too much. Girls like her are not made for serious relationships. They don’t have discipline. Neither self-love. It’s just a short-term thing.”
My heart plummets. I feel dizzy and nauseous at the same time. Stretching a hand, I catch myself on the lip of the vase.
He doesn’t think I’m a girl for relationships because of my size? I can’t believe the words I’ve heard. Everything else grows quiet, and all I can hear is the shattering of my heart.
How dare he? I’ve signed up for this to help him. How dare he say this kind of thing?
My size has nothing to do with my relationships. It has nothing to do with my self-esteem or my personality. It’s just a freaking number. It says absolutely nothing about no one.
How would they feel if I just spat stereotypes at them? How Mr. Hunt might have a limp dick because he’s old, or how Mrs. Hunt is trying to conceal her fake personality with surgery. They wouldn’t like that because it’s freaking untrue and it’s freaking rude.
The words rise on my throat. They claw their way up, and I’m ready to stride to the table and yell at them.
But my heart is shattered.
I want to scream at these rude people. I want to make a scene to embarrass them.
But the words die on my parched tongue. Because those last ones could’ve come from anyone, anyone but Asher.
I can’t believe he said that. He’s been such a great friend. I have fallen in love with him.
He’s been lying all along.
Twirling around the vase, I stride away from the table, hiding from their sight. I aim at the main exit, where the rain is pouring and the maître is waiting with an umbrella.
“I’ll give you a ride, miss,” he offers, opening the umbrella just outside the exit.
I grip it from him, my eyes welling up. “Would you mind if I borrowed it?”
He must have seen the pain flashing across my face, for he merely nods. “Very well, miss.”
I flee, but the pain follows me.
10
* * *
HAILEE
Gripping the umbrella for dear life, I stride along the causeway, gritting my teeth. My jaw begins to pain, a dull pulse that doesn’t hold a candle to the pain in my chest.
My heart is breaking apart. And all I can feel is anger.
At Asher, yes. At his parents, and at the words they exchanged when they thought I wasn’t listening. But most of all, I’m angry at myself.
From the very beginning, I knew this was a ruse. I accepted the terms and I smiled when he said he didn’t do relationships. After all, this had all been a favor.
How could I be so silly? Asher is not the kind of man a girl wants to fall for, and he warned me of so. I’ve been so stupid. So blind, thinking I would be immune to his act.
But it’s impossible. Absolutely impossible not to fall for him, for his beauty, his soul, his heart. He’s the good pain, he’s an addiction.
He’s a heartbreaker.
Sweet as sour apple.
And I have fallen in love with him.
My throat closes and I choke in unshed tears. My eyes sting and I blink them away, pretending this pain isn’t real. Pretending this is all going to pass once the night fades and daylight brings my sanity back.
I curse myself for having parked the car so far from the restaurant. My toes hurt from these stupid heels I bought for this occasion because I was silly enough to want to impress him. My nails digging on my palm, I curse the new dress and the makeup and everything I put together to look good for him.
As if he’d truly want a girl like me.
His parents are right. We don’t look like a couple. We never will. They expect him to have a trophy wife, blond and skinny and brainless, while I am a curvy girl with fierce opinions and beliefs.
But I am not giving my dreams up for any man. Even if the man is Asher.
The rain pitter-patters on the umbrella above me as I descry my car. The sound is not loud enough to mute the running steps behind me.
Steeling my spine, I’m dragged back to the present. It’s still a rainy night, and I’m still a girl walking in heels by herself. Pulling my purse closer to my body, I peek over my shoulder, my heartbeat kicking in as adrenaline runs in my veins.
I stop in my tracks, turning to watch Asher running in my direction. He doesn’t have an umbrella, the rain pouring down over him like a cascade. His dark hair glistens and water drips from the bridge of his stupidly perfect nose as he nears me.
“Hailee,” he calls, breathing hard. His eyes are wide and feral and astonishingly blue as he stops next to me.
Asher’s chest rises and falls as he catches his breath, rain soaking his suit and shirt. My heart beats faster, and even if I want to turn around and ignore him, I can’t find the strength in me to do so. Pressing my lips together, I raise the umbrella to protect him. He doesn’t seem to take notice of the rain or its absence as he takes a step closer. His proximity sets my whole body aflame, but I swallow and hold his gaze. My eyes still sting, but I lift my chin and promise myself he will never learn of this pain. Of the feeling he ignited in me.
“Asher,” I say simply, but my voice breaks, betraying me. Looking at him hurts, but I squint as if I’m looking into the Sun and I let his beauty burn me for one last time. Taking a deep breath, I look up square at his face. “I’m feeling under the weather. I hoped you wouldn’t mind if we settled it all tomorrow.”
The words burn in my tongue as I realize I’ll have to see this man every day for I don’t know how long. I can’t quit the job if I want the money. The morrow doesn’t seem very bright to me at the moment.
Asher frowns and his upper lip curls as if I had just slapped him. He shifts in place, and I can’t take my eyes off his glistening lower lip. Water still runs down his face but he ignores it.
“What did they say to you?” His whole face twists as if in pain.
I hold back a scoff. As if he didn’t know what he had just said about me. About how he thought girls like me were only for flings.
Yes, I know it wouldn’t last because it is a freaking ruse, but it still hurts. The words are still a thorn to my side.
Becau
se I have convinced myself that we could actually have something special. A connection.
“‘They’? Really?” A tear threatens to roll down my face. I wipe at it furiously. “I thought you were the grown man who admitted his errors. Who was honest to a fault. You were the one who said it, no? That you would rather be taken as rude instead of a liar. And yet,” I cannot hold back the pained laughter that bursts from my lips. “Yet, you lie to your family about a relationship and you lie to me about all those things you told me.” I shake my head, looking up. “But I am the idiot here. After all, you told me from the very beginning you were not interested in relationships and all.”
His whole face twists with what I can only say is regret. Asher takes another step closer and he towers over me, to the point I have to tilt my head back to keep looking at him.
“Yes, I lied to my parents.” The words sound hoarse as they leave his mouth. Grave. “You are right to catch me on my hypocrisy about this. But I never lied to you, Hailee. Not a word.”
“Oh? Then what was that inside the restaurant as I came back from the restroom? About this not being for real, and me not being girlfriend material? About this…” My voice breaks and I force the words from between gritted teeth, “About this not lasting long?”
His brows press together and he breathes out. I wait for him to admit it, but he digs on his pockets for his phone. Blinking with astonishment, I watch him unlocking it and wiping around the screen.
Unbelievable. He’s not even going to deign himself to answer this.
I’m about to turn and let him soak in the rain when he turns the phone to face me. The most recent call is from Neil, his assistant. It lasted around five minutes and ended five minutes ago.
Clenching my jaw, I look up at him with creased brows, my hands itching to flip him the finger. But even through pain and rage and disappointment, I make the math.
He was on the phone when I overheard his parents talking about me.
Asher offers his phone to me, “You are free to call Neil and check on this. I left the table to pick up his call. We were going over the meeting agenda for Monday.”
Blinking, I don’t take the phone. “But if you were on the phone, who the hell was talking to your parents?”
His face is still twisted in pain as he puts his phone back in his pocket. “My brother. Remember when I told you we sounded so alike we’d prank each other?”
Oh.
His brother had been so silent throughout the night I basically forgot about his presence there. It had been hard enough to try and keep my hands off Asher and to not tell his parents to fuck off.
What have I done?
My jaw drops as I look back up at him, and his face is deadly serious. I have just run off without a word, without an excuse, because I thought he had said those things. When it had been his brother, the man he had told me didn’t trust women and had no reason to trust me.
How could I do this? How far have my doubts crept into my beliefs? When did I become this uncertain person?
Asher has no reason to lie about this. He has nothing to prove. He’s. in fact, offering me the chance to call Neil and check on this.
But what kind of person would I be if I did so? He has been so good to me so far. So good I have fallen in love with him.
My face warms in shame. I can’t believe I called him a liar, the thing he hates the most in this world. And all because I haven’t been brave enough to face the ones who had been talking shit about me. Because I have been a coward, and unsure about this whole thing.
His face hasn’t changed as I look back up at him.
“I told you, Hailee, that my brother mistrusts people, and women all the worse. He has his reasons. I’m not the one who’s going to change this.” His features are still hard as stone but he doesn’t go away. He doesn’t turn from me. Instead, the gaze upon my face is intense and the blue of his eyes is bright as flame. “I thought you had been feeling the same I did. But maybe I was mistaken.”
“What you have been feeling?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you, but I didn’t know how to tell you. You know my story. You know what I’ve done in life, and I told you that time that I don’t date.” He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, “I feel like I dug my own grave. I have warned you against myself, and here I am, wanting you to love me back.”
My heart punches against my ribs, my throat dries. I blink, not able to believe the words I have just heard. “Love you back, Asher?”
He takes a moment, a beat, and I know he’s choosing his words carefully. He does this when he wants to be clear about something. When he wants no doubt to remain.
Asher cups my face. His hands are cold, making me shiver, but I don’t step back. I widen my eyes, wanting to take it all in.
“I have asked you to do this for me because I trusted you from the first moment we exchanged words. You’re honest and logical, and you don’t let people’s reputation change the way you see them. You never treated me any different because I’m the rich guy that orders around the company. I have chosen you for this because I know you’re tough as nails, and I always admired you. I thought you’d never fall for me. And I thought I’d never fall for anyone because I’ve never been even close to. Every other relationship in my life has been a candle flickering in the dark, while you’re… You’re a forest fire. You’re blinding and scorching hot and you take my breath away every time I look at you.”
I gasp, his words making me grow breathless. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
A pained smile stretches his lips. “Because I have told you not to fall for me. I didn’t want you to think I was playing with your heart. I don’t want you to ever think that, Hailee. I would never do that.”
My free hand comes to his elbow, and the coldness of his fingers balances the warmth of my face to the point I grow comfortable. Relaxed. And I never want to leave his embrace.
His face relaxes as I let my guard down.
“No lies then?” I try, blinking up at him.
He shakes his head, “No lies.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “I thought you were the one saying those things.”
“You should have checked, but it’s understandable,” his thumbs brush my cheeks. “My brother and I sound awfully alike. But you knew that.”
I nod, “I know. I think I just forgot about it in the haste. In the pain.”
He presses his brows together again, “I’m sorry you had to live through this. I’ll never let another person hurt you.”
“It was silly of me. As you said, I should have checked. But I was a coward.”
“You are no coward,” he brings his face closer to mine and I can taste his breath on my tongue. His gaze boring on mine, I can’t pull my gaze from his. “You’re brave, and beautiful, and bright. And I love every inch of yours, Hailee. Every curve and every edge. Every rise and every vale. I want you, I want this for as long as you want me back.”
Love, pure, bright, blazing love fills me and overflows and tears run down the sides of my face to his fingers. He brushes them off and smiles, and I smile back, and I laugh and laugh.
He leans and presses his forehead against mine. “Tell me you want me, Hailee. There’s nothing else I want more in life.”
Gripping his suit, I grin, laughing out of breath. “I want you! I want you for I love you. I love you so hard and so deep this feels like a dream!”
One of his hands come around my head to cradle my skull and he sighs against my lips. “You got me so damn worried when I walked back into the restaurant and didn’t see you there. My parents said you just ran off, and I knew they had said something…” He shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but you, and me, right here and right now.”
Grinning like a fool, I nod. “I won’t ever let my doubts cloud my feelings again. I want this so bad it hurts.”
His face sobers to a focused look as he gazes down at my lips. “I’m going to kiss you now, Hai
lee.”
I nod once, and tilt my head back, waiting for his lips to crash against mine. But they don’t, and I look at him in wait through half-lidded eyes.
Asher licks his lips, and the voice that comes from him is hoarse. It tastes like desire and barely held back lust. “I need to hear it, Hailee. May I kiss you?”
Shivering under his scrutiny, his hard gaze, I lick my own lips. He follows the motion of my tongue with deep attention. “Yes. Please.”
The word escapes me before I notice it. I’m a little ashamed of it at first, but once his gaze flickers and darkens, I drop that act completely.
I’m already his. There’s no way to hide it.
Leaning, he presses his mouth against mine. He crashes his lips against mine, pressing hard, holding my head in place.
It’s not gentle. It’s not careful.
He kisses me with a vengeance. In that hard press of lips, he tells me how much he hated the pretend. How much he wanted to drop that act.
Because Asher is not gentle. He’s feral and intense, and he makes it clear he’s about to claim me once he pries my mouth open with his tongue.
I let him in, and the sweeping of his tongue over mine is, like everything he does, sharp and elegant. He kisses the air out of me, controlling the kiss as his fingers curl around my hair, gripping a handful.
The pull, and his body pressed flush against mine, make my nerves stand on end. I groan as he tilts my head to kiss me harder yet, sucking my lower lip between his lips. My knees buckle and I hold his arm harder, trying to keep my balance.
Pressing my thighs together, I cannot deny how wet this kiss makes me. Tension coils low in my belly, his teeth grazing my lip. Asher kisses me thoroughly and I know, deep in my bones, I will never be able to forget this.
He kisses me to mark me. So I will never forget to whom I belong to.
Tilting me further back, he devours me, new lust coursing through my veins to pool low on me. I’m soaking wet now, my knees quivering under the sheer force with which he drinks me in. There’s no doubt about how much this man wants me.