by Beck, J. L.
Minus Warren, I love Blackthorn. The teachers are kind, and the work is easy. Attending such a high-profile college is going to get me the best job once I graduate, so I can’t mess this up. This education is going to last me a lifetime, Warren is only going to last the time it takes me to get this degree.
Gritting my teeth, I type out the address and hit send. It was nice to have a little peace, but I guess it’s time to get back to being terrorized.
* * *
An hour later, Warren pulls up to my parents’ tiny house in a blacked-out SUV. I kiss my mother on the cheek, grab my bag and walk outside. No point in elongating the inevitable. If I don’t go out there, then he’ll come in here, and that’s the last thing I want.
I make it out the door and three steps onto the sidewalk before he’s at my side. The first thing I notice is his eyes. They’re so dark they might as well be black. The second thing I notice is that he looks tired, really tired.
Guilt niggles at me, but I push it away. Why should I feel guilty about leaving to visit my parents? Why should I feel guilty when he is crazy, and I’m nothing but a possession to him?
“That was a pretty reckless stunt. I thought you were smarter than that.” His fingers wrap around my wrist, and he pulls me to the SUV, basically dragging me along the way.
“You’re right, it would have been smarter not to tell you where I was.”
“You think so? You think I would’ve stopped looking for you?” He growls into my ear, and I can feel the heat of his breath on my skin. I shiver, my body responding to his closeness.
Why do I want him? Even when he’s mean and cruel—so cruel it hurts—a small part of me still clings to him, craves his presence.
“Never. The answer is never. You’re mine, every fucking inch of you is mine. When you chose to stay instead of walking away, you gave yourself to me.”
The possessiveness in his voice is something I’ve never heard or even felt before. Opening the door for me, he shoves me into the passenger seat, then slams the door shut. Shifting in the seat, I’m stunned into silence because I’m not sure how this will end. Where is this going? I still haven’t figured out why he thinks all these horrible things about me, and I’m not sure how to get it out of him either.
When he gets in and starts driving, the tension in the vehicle mounts. It’s so heavy I can barely breathe. Warren white knuckles the steering wheel, probably envisioning it as my neck.
“I need to ask you something… and you need to tell me the truth. This is really important.” His voice is a little calmer than before, and there is a weird urgent need to his tone as well.
“Okay, what is it?”
“When we were dating… or before, did someone hurt you?” His question catches me completely off guard. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.
“What do you mean, hurt me?”
“Like abused you, raped you, or hurt you in any other way?”
“What? No! Why would you ask me that?” I’m so confused by his question. Where is this coming from?
“Are you sure?” He presses.
“Yes, Warren. No one hurt me. Not when we were dating, not before or after. I swear.”
Just when I thought I couldn’t get any more confused, he gets angry again. Hitting the side of the steering wheel like that’s the only way he can channel his uncontainable fury.
“I’m going to have so much fun fucking you, making you scream my name. I’ll make you regret everything. Make you beg for my forgiveness.”
“I didn’t do anything… all I did was go and see my parents. I’ve never hurt you.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see his body vibrating.
Is he going to hurt me? Punish me? Explode into the hulk? I don’t understand why he’s acting this way, why he blows up like this.
“Stop! Stop talking. I don’t want to hurt you, Harper. I really don’t, not physically, at least, but I’m close to losing my fucking shit, and I don’t know what will happen when I do.”
His confession has me pressing my lips into a tight line. With my chin to my chest, I stare at the floor. Closing my eyes to get away from him, I somehow manage to drift off to sleep.
A short while later, I come to. Warren is carrying me. Lifting my head off his chest, I notice that we’re at his house.
“I want to go home,” I mumble tiredly. All of this back and forth with him is exhausting. I just want to go to my place right now.
“Yeah, that’s never going to happen. You belong to me now. I don’t know why you can’t get this into your head. When I tell you to jump, you’ll ask how high? When I tell you to spread your legs, you’ll ask how wide? When you go to class, I’ll be there waiting for you. You. Are. Mine.” He speaks each word with a deepness and darkness that makes me believe him.
As soon as we enter his room, he tosses me onto the bed like a doll, and I scurry backward and away from him. All my sleepiness is suddenly gone, leaving me wide awake and on high alert. He shuts the door, the sound much too soft for the raging storm that I know is brewing inside of him.
When he turns to face me again, it’s like every shred of who he is, who I’ve known him to be, is gone. Even in his darkest moments, I could still see the human beneath the mask, but right now, I can’t see any humanity.
“It’s funny, you were so tough-sounding over the phone. Where is that girl now? With her strong backbone and spitfire tongue?” He’s taunting me, trying to get me to fight back, but fighting back is what he wants, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give my bully the bullets he needs to shoot me in the heart.
“Warren, please? It doesn’t have to be this way.”
He tilts his head to the side and even as devilish as he is, he still manages to look gorgeous, “It does have to be like this, and it always will be, because of you. You made us this way.”
Watching him stalk over to the bed, I tell myself I can’t do this. I’ll fight back. I know what’s coming. He’s going to take from me, take the last thing I have to offer him. It was always meant to be his but never like this.
Grabbing onto my ankle, he tugs me to the edge of the mattress. Tears fill my eyes, and I contemplate my next move. Blanketing his body with mine, he leans into my face. His eyes searching mine, and I shiver at the darkness inside of his. What happened to the boy I loved? Who hurt him? Who destroyed what we had?
Licking his lips, he whispers, “Cry for me, Harper, let me see your tears. I want to taste them, see if your fear tastes as sweet as it looks.”
I shake my head, “What happened to make you hate me so much?” I croak, choking on the emotions in my throat. “Just tell me.”
In an instant, Warren has his hand wrapped around my throat. The tears I was trying to keep at bay spring from my eyes and trail down my cheeks, leaving cold rivulets behind. He gives my throat a squeeze, and the air in my chest feels like a ton of bricks.
Darting his pink tongue out, he licks the salty tears from my eyes. It’s fucked up, so fucked up, but it’s also intimate. I don’t understand how to explain it.
“I’m going to fuck every ounce of hate I have into you.” He licks down to my cheek, stopping at my ear, he nips at the tender lobe. “I’m going to make you feel all the pain you’ve made me feel. I’m going to destroy all the good inside of you, just like you’ve destroyed all the good inside me.”
Fear pulses through my veins at his words, but to my utter shame, there is a need as well, a need for him to touch me, make me feel what he feels. Maybe that’s the only way I’ll be able to understand. If he won’t tell me what I’ve done to hurt him, maybe he’ll show me. It’s a risky move… and I shouldn’t even consider giving myself over to him, but if this is the only way, then I’ll do it.
32
Warren
I’m doing everything I can to keep myself in line. I want to hurt Harper, mark her body, but something is stopping me. There is a softness in her eyes that I don’t understand. She looks afraid, but she also looks like she’s willin
g to give herself over to me, as if she knows deep down that’s what she needs.
Stupid girl. Stupid for running away from me. Stupid for thinking she could escape. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I squeeze her throat a little harder, and she whimpers like a scared animal.
With my other hand, I sneak under her shirt. My fingers move all on their own, gently grazing over her smooth skin. She feels like silk in my hands, slowly slipping away from me, but I can’t let her go, won’t let her go. Reaching the edge of her bra, I trace my finger against it, watching as her eyes grow wide, and her chest swells.
Grazing her hardened nipple through the thin fabric, I watch with fascination as she bites her bottom lip, trying to stop herself from reacting to my touch. Little does she know, by the time I’m done with her, she won’t be able to do anything but scream my name.
Rolling the bud between two fingers, I release her throat so I can use my hand to pop the button on her jeans. Even as afraid as she might be, I know she wants this. She can’t hide her arousal. I bet the moment I touch her pretty pussy, she’ll melt into me, spread her legs, and plead with me to take her.
Staring into her eyes, I slip beneath the waistband of her panties and trail down over her mound. My fingers move lower, and I graze her folds, dipping the edge of my pointer finger into her sweet honey. Of course. I knew she’d be wet, so it’s no surprise when I feel her arousal on my fingertip.
“You might be afraid, but your body knows how good I’ll make this for you.” I move my hand lower until I’m cupping her entire pussy in my hand. All-fucking-mine. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want to be fucked by the monster that I am, and I’ll do it. I’ll fuck you so hard the entire house will hear us.”
Hesitation flickers in her eyes, she’s still searching for the boy I used to be, the guy she used to know, the one who would’ve given her the entire fucking world if she had asked for it. But he’s gone, broken, burned by her betrayal.
“If you’re looking for any part of the old me, you won’t find him. This is who I am now, who I will always be. So, tell me, do you want this? Do you want me to fuck you?”
She chokes on a sob, and I pull my hand away, giving her nipple a hard pinch.
“Yes…” She says breathlessly.
“Strip out of your clothes and then get back on the bed.” On shaking legs, she moves off the bed. I strip out of my own clothing in the time it takes her to take off her pants. She’s stalling, and my patience is growing thin.
I don’t even know why I care to fuck her, maybe to give myself a taste, to tell myself she wasn’t really worth it. I could have any chick I want, and yet, no one gets my pulse-pounding like she does. My hate for her is becoming an obsession, but it doesn’t matter. She’s mine. Always has been and always will be, the only difference, now I’ll make sure she remembers it. I won’t ever let someone else touch her again.
Slowly, she peels her shirt off and undoes her bra. Both items fall to the floor, landing softly. I take in her naked body before me. If perfection could be described and put into a person, she would be it. But it’s an illusion… she’s not perfect. She’s evil, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and this time I won’t let her fool me. This time, I’m ready...I see her, really see her.
Taking a step forward, I press both hands to her full perky breasts. She lets out a shudder at my touch, and I grin. Giving her a gentle shove against the chest, she takes the hint and steps backward and away from my touch.
“Get on the bed,” I order.
“Warren,” she pleads, crawling up onto the mattress.
“It’s time to pay up, sweetheart.” I fist my cock in my hand and stalk over to the bed. So pretty, and so completely fucked. Spreading her legs with my hand, I drop my gaze down to her pretty pink pussy. “Do you have any diseases I have to be worried about?”
“Of course, not.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“Yes…” She opens her mouth to continue, but I press a finger against her soft lips.
“That’s all I needed to know,” I whisper, tugging her ass to the edge of the bed. Moving my hand away from her lips, I trail it down her chest, between her breasts and over her smooth stomach. I try not to get lost in the way she looks beneath me, but it’s always been a dream of mine. In my mind, I always thought I would be her first, but she took that from me… the thought hits me right in the chest like a bullet being shot from a gun, it shatters every thought I have about her.
“I always thought…” I start but stop. No point in telling her something that she never cared about to start with. Spreading both thighs, I take my cock and rub it against her folds, gathering the juices that are there. It’s time for revenge, it’s time for me to fuck her memory from my mind. Her juices glisten against my blunt head, and I bring it back to her entrance pressing against the hole.
She lets out a small whimper as I drive my hips forward, seeking the confines of her tight and warm pussy. Pure bliss encompasses me. I’ve fucked a lot of women, but none have ever felt like this. Like… home.
Harper struggles beneath me, her entire body shaking. Leaning forward, I cage her face with my arms so I can stare into her eyes. Tears slip down her cheeks, and all I can do is stare at them. There is something there, in her eyes, but I can’t bring myself to reach out and grab it. I’m too far gone to care, too high on anger, and revenge.
Pulling out, I slam back into her, hissing at the pleasure that ripples through me.
I knew it would be good, real good, but I didn’t expect it to feel like heaven.
“Fuck,” I growl, burying my face in her neck. She smells like vanilla and flowers, a smell that’s intoxicating. Harper sinks her nails into my skin, marking me, and I welcome the pain as I thrust in and out of her at a feverish pace. Soft whimpers fill the room as I rut into her, claiming her over and over again just like I should’ve three years ago before she gave herself to some other bastard.
The pleasure at the base of my spine builds with every deep thrust inside her tight channel, and I know I should be selfish, come without caring about if she gets pleasure from this or not, but I can’t. I want to feel Harper come on my cock too badly. I want her to feel what she has been missing, what she could have had a long time ago.
Balancing my weight on one arm, I snake a hand between us and find her clit. It’s hard, and as soon as I start rubbing small circles against it, Harper’s whimpers turn into soft moans.
“I shouldn’t let you come, you don’t deserve it,” I whisper against her skin as I press a gentle kiss to her collarbone. “But I won’t deny you, because as selfish as I am, I still want you to feel the same way I’m feeling right now.”
Fucking her harder and faster, I move my finger against her clit at the same pace until we’re both panting and on the verge of unyielding satisfaction.
“You feel too good… I’m going to come…” I grunt, slamming into her. Pulling away so I can see her face, I notice that she too is close. Her eyes are pinched together, and her lips are parted. I grit my teeth and rub her faster, watching with amazement as her eyes flutter open and her mouth forms into a full O. All at once, she bears down on me, squeezing me so tightly, stars appear before my eyes.
At the cusp of her orgasm, mine barrels into me, dragging me down. Forcing me to still, I fill her tightness with every drop of cum inside of my balls until I feel nothing but emptiness.
Sagging against her chest with relief when it’s all over, my heart beats furiously. I swallow thickly, trying to figure out what my next move is going to be.
The need to hold her and cuddle up with her in my bed is almost too much. But I can’t get attached to her, can’t want her any more than I do.
She broke me once, ruined our precious future. This is entirely her fault, and I need to remember that before the guilt sets in.
Pushing off of her, I notice that she winces as I pull out. Maybe she hasn’t been with a guy as big as me? I don’t know. I don’t really care.
“You�
�re free to leave now until I need your pussy again.” I shoo her away.
She blinks. Confusion, then burning anger filling her eyes. “If this is how you are going to act, then there won’t be a next time.” In a flash, she’s off the bed, tugging all her clothes back on.
“We’ll see about that,” I grin, lying back on the mattress, I interlace my fingers and tuck them behind my head.
Her pretty eyes glisten with tears, and seeing her so distraught, so hurt, tugs at me.
“I hate you, Warren. I really, really do. I thought if I did this, I could understand you better, but as it turns out, there isn’t anything worth understanding. There isn’t a bone in your body that still cares about me…”
And just like that, she walks out, slamming the door shut behind her. It takes every shred of willpower I have to remain on the bed and not chase after her.
Remember, she did this to us. She chose someone else. She lied. She betrayed you. Like a sponge, I soak up every word, repeating them to myself over and over again until the need to go to her disappears.
The image of the bill from the abortion clinic is ingrained in my mind. It’s a never-ending nightmare, one that my heart refuses to let me forget. I can still feel the paper in my hand.
I’m staring at the medical bill, confused and angry. Harper’s name is written on the top of the paper, and right there in the center is the word abortion. I’ve read the thing three times, but the words still don’t quite make sense.
“I wanted you to know, son,” my father’s voice fills my ears, but I can’t hear him. All I can see is the betrayal right in front of me. I want to ask him why he would show me this, but I already know why. He’s hated Harper since the moment I showed interest in her, and this is just another thing to drive his point home.
I’ve defended her for years, to the ends of the Earth, but I can’t justify this.