Tik-Tok of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 9

  Ruggedo's Rage is Rash and Reckless

  The way taken by the adventurers led up hill and down dale and woundhere and there in a fashion that seemed aimless. But always it drewnearer to a range of low mountains and Files said more than once that hewas certain the entrance to Ruggedo's cavern would be found among theserugged hills.

  In this he was quite correct. Far underneath the nearest mountain wasa gorgeous chamber hollowed from the solid rock, the walls and roof ofwhich glittered with thousands of magnificent jewels. Here, on a throneof virgin gold, sat the famous Nome King, dressed in splendid robes andwearing a superb crown cut from a single blood-red ruby.

  Ruggedo, the Monarch of all the Metals and Precious Stones of theUnderground World, was a round little man with a flowing white beard,a red face, bright eyes and a scowl that covered all his forehead. Onewould think, to look at him, that he ought to be jolly; one might think,considering his enormous wealth, that he ought to be happy; but this wasnot the case. The Metal Monarch was surly and cross because mortals haddug so much treasure out of the earth and kept it above ground, where allthe power of Ruggedo and his nomes was unable to recover it. He hated notonly the mortals but also the fairies who live upon the earth or aboveit, and instead of being content with the riches he still possessed hewas unhappy because he did not own all the gold and jewels in the world.

  Ruggedo had been nodding, half asleep, in his chair when suddenly he satupright uttered a roar of rage and began pounding upon a huge gong thatstood beside him.

  The sound filled the vast cavern and penetrated to many caverns beyond,where countless thousands of nomes were working at their unending tasks,hammering out gold and silver and other metals, or melting ores in greatfurnaces, or polishing glittering gems. The nomes trembled at the soundof the King's gong and whispered fearfully to one another that somethingunpleasant was sure to happen; but none dared pause in his task.

  The heavy curtains of cloth-of-gold were pushed aside and Kaliko, theKing's High Chamberlain, entered the royal presence.

  "What's up, Your Majesty?" he asked, with a wide yawn, for he had justwakened.

  "Up?" roared Ruggedo, stamping his foot viciously. "Those foolish mortalsare up, that's what! And they want to come down."

  "Down here?" inquired Kaliko.

  "Yes!"

  "How do you know?" continued the Chamberlain, yawning again.

  "I feel it in my bones," said Ruggedo. "I can always feel it when thosehateful earth-crawlers draw near to my Kingdom. I am positive, Kaliko,that mortals are this very minute on their way here to annoy me--and Ihate mortals more than I do catnip tea!"

  "Well, what's to be done?" demanded the nome.

  "Look through your spyglass, and see where the invaders are," commandedthe King.

  So Kaliko went to a tube in the wall of rock and put his eye to it.The tube ran from the cavern up to the side of the mountain and turnedseveral curves and corners, but as it was a magic spyglass Kaliko wasable to see through it just as easily as if it had been straight.

  "Ho--hum," said he. "I see 'em, Your Majesty."

  "What do they look like?" inquired the Monarch.

  "That's a hard question to answer, for a queerer assortment of creaturesI never yet beheld," replied the nome. "However, such a collectionof curiosities may prove dangerous. There's a copper man, worked bymachinery--"

  "Bah! that's only Tik-Tok," said Ruggedo. "I'm not afraid of him. Why,only the other day I met the fellow and threw him down a well."

  "Then some one must have pulled him out again," said Kaliko. "And there'sa little girl--"

  "Dorothy?" asked Ruggedo, jumping up in fear.

  "No; some other girl. In fact, there are several girls, of various sizes;but Dorothy is not with them, nor is Ozma."

  "That's good!" exclaimed the King, sighing in relief.

  Kaliko still had his eye to the spyglass.

  "I see," said he, "an army of men from Oogaboo. They are all officers andcarry swords. And there is a Shaggy Man--who seems very harmless--and alittle donkey with big ears."

  "Pooh!" cried Ruggedo, snapping his fingers in scorn. "I've no fear ofsuch a mob as that. A dozen of my nomes can destroy them all in a jiffy."

  "I'm not so sure of that," said Kaliko. "The people of Oogaboo arehard to destroy, and I believe the Rose Princess is a fairy. As forPolychrome, you know very well that the Rainbow's Daughter cannot beinjured by a nome."

  "Polychrome! Is she among them?" asked the King.

  "Yes; I have just recognized her."

  "Then these people are coming here on no peaceful errand," declaredRuggedo, scowling fiercely. "In fact, no one ever comes here on apeaceful errand. I hate everybody, and everybody hates me!"

  "Very true," said Kaliko.

  "I must in some way prevent these people from reaching my dominions.Where are they now?"

  "Just now they are crossing the Rubber Country, Your Majesty."

  "Good! Are your magnetic rubber wires in working order?"

  "I think so," replied Kaliko. "Is it your Royal Will that we have somefun with these invaders?"

  "It is," answered Ruggedo. "I want to teach them a lesson they will neverforget."

  Now, Shaggy had no idea that he was in a Rubber Country, nor had any ofhis companions. They noticed that everything around them was of a dullgray color and that the path upon which they walked was soft and springy,yet they had no suspicion that the rocks and trees were rubber and eventhe path they trod was made of rubber.

  Presently they came to a brook where sparkling water dashed througha deep channel and rushed away between high rocks far down themountain-side. Across the brook were stepping-stones, so placed thattravelers might easily leap from one to another and in that manner crossthe water to the farther bank.

  Tik-Tok was marching ahead, followed by his officers and Queen Ann. Afterthem came Betsy Bobbin and Hank, Polychrome and Shaggy, and last of allthe Rose Princess with Files. The Clockwork Man saw the stream and thestepping-stones and, without making a pause, placed his foot upon thefirst stone.

  The result was astonishing. First he sank down in the soft rubber, whichthen rebounded and sent Tik-Tok soaring high in the air, where he turneda succession of flip-flops and alighted upon a rubber rock far in therear of the party.

  General Apple did not see Tik-Tok bound, so quickly had he disappeared;therefore he also stepped upon the stone (which you will guess wasconnected with Kaliko's magnetic rubber wire) and instantly shot upwardlike an arrow. General Cone came next and met with a like fate, but theothers now noticed that something was wrong and with one accord theyhalted the column and looked back along the path.

  There was Tik-Tok, still bounding from one rubber rock to another, eachtime rising a less distance from the ground. And there was GeneralApple, bounding away in another direction, his three-cornered hat jammedover his eyes and his long sword thumping him upon the arms and head asit swung this way and that. And there, also, appeared General Cone, whohad struck a rubber rock headforemost and was so crumpled up that hisround body looked more like a bouncing-ball than the form of a man.

  Betsy laughed merrily at the strange sight and Polychrome echoed herlaughter. But Ozga was grave and wondering, while Queen Ann became angryat seeing the chief officers of the Army of Oogaboo bounding around inso undignified a manner. She shouted to them to stop, but they wereunable to obey, even though they would have been glad to do so. Finally,however, they all ceased bounding and managed to get upon their feet andrejoin the Army.

  "Why did you do that?" demanded Ann, who seemed greatly provoked.

  "Don't ask them why," said Shaggy earnestly. "I knew you would ask themwhy, but you ought not to do it. The reason is plain. Those stones arerubber; therefore they are not stones. Those rocks around us are rubber,and therefore they are not rocks. Even this path is not a path; it'srubber. Unless we are very careful, your Majesty, we are all likely toget the bounce, just as your
poor officers and Tik-Tok did."

  "Then let's be careful," remarked Files, who was full of wisdom; butPolychrome wanted to test the quality of the rubber, so she begandancing. Every step sent her higher and higher into the air, so that sheresembled a big butterfly fluttering lightly. Presently she made a greatbound and bounded way across the stream, landing lightly and steadily onthe other side.

  "There is no rubber over here," she called to them. "Suppose you all tryto bound over the stream, without touching the stepping-stones."

  Ann and her officers were reluctant to undertake such a risky adventure,but Betsy at once grasped the value of the suggestion and began jumpingup and down until she found herself bounding almost as high as Polychromehad done. Then she suddenly leaned forward and the next bound took hereasily across the brook, where she alighted by the side of the Rainbow'sDaughter.

  "Come on, Hank!" called the girl, and the donkey tried to obey. Hemanaged to bound pretty high but when he tried to bound across the streamhe misjudged the distance and fell with a splash into the middle of thewater.

  "Hee-haw!" he wailed, struggling toward the far bank. Betsy rushedforward to help him out, but when the mule stood safely beside her shewas amazed to find he was not wet at all.

  "It's dry water," said Polychrome, dipping her hand into the stream andshowing how the water fell from it and left it perfectly dry.

  "In that case," returned Betsy, "they can all walk through the water."

  She called to Ozga and Shaggy to wade across, assuring them the waterwas shallow and would not wet them. At once they followed her advice,avoiding the rubber stepping-stones, and made the crossing with ease.This encouraged the entire party to wade through the dry water, and in afew minutes all had assembled on the bank and renewed their journey alongthe path that led to the Nome King's dominions.

  When Kaliko again looked through his magic spyglass he exclaimed:

  "Bad luck, Your Majesty! All the invaders have passed the Rubber Countryand now are fast approaching the entrance to your caverns."

  Ruggedo raved and stormed at the news and his anger was so great thatseveral times, as he strode up and down his jeweled cavern, he paused tokick Kaliko upon his shins, which were so sensitive that the poor nomehowled with pain. Finally the King said:

  "There's no help for it; we must drop these audacious invaders down theHollow Tube."

  Kaliko gave a jump, at this, and looked at his master wonderingly.

  "If you do that, Your Majesty," he said, "you will make Tititi-Hoochoovery angry."

  "Never mind that," retorted Ruggedo. "Tititi-Hoochoo lives on the otherside of the world, so what do I care for his anger?"

  Kaliko shuddered and uttered a little groan.

  "Remember his terrible powers," he pleaded, "and remember that he warnedyou, the last time you slid people through the Hollow Tube, that if youdid it again he would take vengeance upon you."

  The Metal Monarch walked up and down in silence, thinking deeply.

  "Of two dangers," said he, "it is wise to choose the least. What do yousuppose these invaders want?"

  "Let the Long-Eared Hearer listen to them," suggested Kaliko.

  "Call him here at once!" commanded Ruggedo eagerly.

  So in a few minutes there entered the cavern a nome with enormous ears,who bowed low before the King.

  "Strangers are approaching," said Ruggedo, "and I wish to know theirerrand. Listen carefully to their talk and tell me why they are cominghere, and what for."

  The nome bowed again and spread out his great ears, swaying them gentlyup and down and back and forth. For half an hour he stood silent, in anattitude of listening, while both the King and Kaliko grew impatient atthe delay. At last the Long-Eared Hearer spoke:

  "Shaggy Man is coming here to rescue his brother from captivity," said he.

  "Ha, the Ugly One!" exclaimed Ruggedo. "Well, Shaggy Man may have hisugly brother, for all I care. He's too lazy to work and is always gettingin my way. Where is the Ugly One now, Kaliko?"

  "The last time Your Majesty stumbled over the prisoner you commandedme to send him to the Metal Forest, which I did. I suppose he is stillthere."

  "Very good. The invaders will have a hard time finding the Metal Forest,"said the King, with a grin of malicious delight, "for half the time Ican't find it myself. Yet I created the forest and made every tree, outof gold and silver, so as to keep the precious metals in a safe place andout of the reach of mortals. But tell me, Hearer, do the strangers wantanything else?"

  "Yes, indeed they do!" returned the nome. "The Army of Oogaboo isdetermined to capture all the rich metals and rare jewels in yourkingdom, and the officers and their Queen have arranged to divide thespoils and carry them away."

  When he heard this Ruggedo uttered a bellow of rage and began dancing upand down, rolling his eyes, clicking his teeth together and swinging hisarms furiously. Then, in an ecstasy of anger he seized the long ears ofthe Hearer and pulled and twisted them cruelly; but Kaliko grabbed up theKing's sceptre and rapped him over the knuckles with it, so that Ruggedolet go the ears and began to chase his Royal Chamberlain around thethrone.

  The Hearer took advantage of this opportunity to slip away from thecavern and escape, and after the King had tired himself out chasingKaliko he threw himself into his throne and panted for breath, while heglared wickedly at his defiant subject.

  "You'd better save your strength to fight the enemy," suggested Kaliko."There will be a terrible battle when the Army of Oogaboo gets here."

  "The Army won't get here," said the King, still coughing and panting."I'll drop 'em down the Hollow Tube--every man Jack and every girl Jillof 'em!"

  "And defy Tititi-Hoochoo?" asked Kaliko.

  "Yes. Go at once to my Chief Magician and order him to turn the pathtoward the Hollow Tube, and to make the top of the Tube invisible, sothey'll all fall into it."

  Kaliko went away shaking his head, for he thought Ruggedo was making agreat mistake. He found the Magician and had the path twisted so that itled directly to the opening of the Hollow Tube, and this opening he madeinvisible.

  Having obeyed the orders of his master, the Royal Chamberlain went tohis private room and began to write letters of recommendation of himself,stating that he was an honest man, a good servant and a small eater.

  "Pretty soon," he said to himself, "I shall have to look for anotherjob, for it is certain that Ruggedo has ruined himself by this recklessdefiance of the mighty Tititi-Hoochoo. And in seeking a job nothing is soeffective as a letter of recommendation."