‘I need to find you, Ali!”
TRAPPED
It had been days since I have had a nightmare but it all changed today. I guess John was right; my mind stirred up whenever it had nothing else to do. ‘Idle mind is truly a devil’s workshop.’ It was already getting hot in Delhi in the first week of February and had caused a ruckus for one and all. John had to fit an old cooler in my room which was a respite in these turbulent times. I kept thinking about Shikha’s mobile phone and what mysteries would it uncover. I was grasping for any clues, and I was failing miserably. I never knew when I drifted off to sleep, and then it happened. I knew that this was not real, but I couldn’t shake it off or get up. Sleep paralysis had struck me, and I had nowhere to run.
I looked all around me, there was no living soul anywhere. Then it hit me, it was a graveyard, and the whole environment around it ran chills down my spine. “Anyone here?” I shouted.
Then I realized that it was the most stupid thing to say here. Any answer to this question would cause me to shit my pants. To my relief, there was no answer. I started walking ahead scanning the names on the gravestones. After a while, I realized something which caused an uneasiness in my stomach. There was a pattern that I quickly deciphered. All of the graves were of those people who were dead because of me. I could see the names of all of the gangsters, murderers and all of the convicts whom I killed.
Anwar, Chota Lala, Ramesh, Marco, Saeed, Ranga – the list went on and on.
I kept walking, knowing that all of this was a nightmare, but still unable to break free. Then I saw some graves which were not as decorated as others – they lacked finality. The graves were cracked in the middle, and blood splattered all across the headstone. I saw the writing on the stone of the grave at my left.
‘JACKIE’
Looking at the writing made my chest hurt. I had forgotten all about him. Jackie was my dog when I was eleven. My parents gave him to me on my birthday. He was like a brother that I never had. One day, I did what I did best – fucking things up. My parents were inside the house while Jackie and I played in the garden. He was loved by one and all; I wanted to see him first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. I was trying to wake Jackie up, but he was not getting up. It had been hours that we played together; perhaps it had tired him off. I picked up a flower pot and threw at him to wake him up, but it was a horrific site. There was blood everywhere, and his cute little body laid lifeless there. My parents tried to bring another dog in my life, but I never agreed. It had been all these years that I had forgotten about him, but he was one of the first innocent lives that I had snatched.
After reading the names on the next grave, I couldn’t suppress my tears.
‘SOORAJ & KAVITA RATHORE’
They say that you can’t hear sounds in your dreams. They lie. I could very well hear the sounds of my cries and tears falling down on the side concrete pathway. It was my parents’ grave. We were a loving family, and I couldn’t have asked for better parents. My mother was a housewife and father was an English professor. I still remember the night when everything changed for me. I was in my teens, and like any other teen, I too was trying to be a rebel and making wrong choices. I had skipped my tuition class and went straight to my friend Sameer’s place. He had introduced me to drinking, and I was sloshed that night. Dad faced a heart stroke in the middle of the night, they tried calling me, but I was enjoying elsewhere. I checked my phone at three in the night and saw twenty missed calls from Mom. I had told them that I would go straight to my friend’s place after the tuition for group studies. When I called her back, I heard my Mausi crying. I immediately rushed over to the hospital and came to know that Dad had expired due to heart failure. I fell on the floor hearing it. Many relatives had swarmed the place, and cries and accusations were being made.
“Aisa beta toh bhagwan kisi ko na de.”
I could hear them clearly, and I wanted to kill myself. Then I rushed to my Mom, and that’s when it felt like a blinding pain in my chest. My mother couldn’t face the trauma of my father’s death and committed suicide in the hospital itself. I had killed both of them, the only good things in my life. I cried for months, never stopping. I didn’t do anything, just sat in a room’s corner. Then I was taken into an Orphan Privilege Center and was taken care of.
There was an empty grave named Shantanu Majumdar, and I was petrified. Suddenly, I was being shaken and woke up. “What?” I shouted and jumped up on my cot.
John was petrified too; he looked at me as though he had seen a ghost. He held a jug of water in his hand. I looked at the clock in my room. It was four in the morning. My grey t-shirt soaked in sweat and I took deep breaths. I don’t get scared easily, but this nightmare had killed me. I thanked John in my mind as I drank huge gulps of water within a second.
“Another bad dream, Arjun?” he asked placing a hand on my shoulder.
“The worst.”
“Stop taking all the blame kid, don’t hold yourself responsible for every bad thing that has happened.”
“John, I deserve it. I am toxic. Everyone around me is in danger, and it’s all because of me.”
“Would you like to confess?”
I looked at his old wrinkled face. It was a reassuring sight. “Someday,” I muttered.
I was afraid to sleep after that. I took a shower and John prepared a delicious breakfast for me. I was about to join him at the dining table when we heard a knock on the wooden door. I sensed something fishy; nobody enters the rooms behind the main hall of the churches.
“Open up! It’s Delhi Police.” Somebody banged the door unexpectedly.
I stood there dumbfounded. This was unexpected. Did they finally realize that I was hiding under their nose all the time?
“John, you have got it under control.”
He nodded and smiled. The old man was extra cheerful today. He opened the door as I quickly hid in the bathroom.
“Yes, officers! How may I help you?” John asked.
There were two mean looking officers, handing out flyers and enquiring in every house.
“Father, have you seen this man?” asked one of them.
John looked at the flyer, and a mugshot of Arjun greeted him. “I am afraid; I haven’t seen him around here.”
“If you see him, please let us know immediately. He is armed and extremely dangerous.”
John nodded and was about to close the door when the second cop intervened. “We are dying from thirst, have been out on the streets since early morning; can you fetch us both a couple glasses of water? We would also like to take a look inside while you are at it.”
John nodded. He opened the door and allowed both of the officers to come inside.
‘FUCK!’ I shouted in my mind kicking the bathroom door lightly.
The Police must have some suspicion regarding this place. They were pretty eager to check it out. Both of them stood near the dining table inside, and John brought two glasses of water.
“Nice breakfast, are you expecting someone?”
“No, why do you ask?”
Then he realized that there were two plates of white sauce pasta and orange juice at the table. This was what differentiated cops and civilians. The formers had an eye out for even the smallest of the details.
“Oh, you mean the two plates?” John asked grinningly.
He usually was confident while talking to anyone but he was off his game this time. He was a man of religion and was stuck in all this mess because of me.
They nodded and emptied their glasses in a second. John cleared his throat. It felt that this was it. I was made.
“There is God everywhere. I like to have all my meals with him. He is my partner for life.”
They nodded and thanked him for the water.
“Father, don’t forget to call us in case you ever see that murderer.”
John nodded and closed the door after both of the Police officers had left the building.
“That was a close one,” I
mumbled. “Sorry John, you hate lying, and you have to do it many times a day now all because of me.”
He started eating the pasta with a smile on his face. “If a lie is used for good then that is not a lie.”
I looked at the flyer that the Policemen handed all around the area. They had declared one lakh rupees as the reward for anyone who would give my whereabouts.
“Old man, wanna earn the easiest one lakh rupees?” I asked jokingly.
“Eat the pasta while it is hot.”
~*~
Tia’s ex-boyfriend had finally managed to decrypt Shikha’s phone that I had found. He had called us near an old factory in Noida. I had horrible luck with old buildings, but I had no other option left. Tia had called and asked me to meet at the factory as she was going to check on her father at Agastya Hospital. I decided against it and reached the hospital; I put her father Shantanu there – this was the least that I could have done for her.
As we entered inside the ICU, I could see him struggling for his life. He was on a ventilator, and his body had become a lot weak. I still remember the day when I had shot him accidentally. I was catching a notorious gangster Ranga at that time. The death of Shikha had tormented me, and I was not ready to join the field duty. Pratap tried his best to convince me not to join the duty so soon, but I was being the asshole that I always am. Tia broke down into tears as she touched Shantanu’s body. I didn’t know whether I should have comforted her, being the reason of their dismay myself. I looked at his eyes and couldn’t control the hatred towards myself. I suppressed a lone tear; I couldn’t be seen crying publically.
“I am waiting for you outside. Don’t stay too long here; anybody could see us.”
She had seen my face out of the corner of her eye and nodded. I exited the ICU and decided to wait by the water dispenser. To my horror, Rita the reporter was thrashing me on one of the news channels.
“Police are still trying their very best to capture this beast. There have been many measures taken by the rival party leader Devraj but where is our Chief Minister? As per our reports, the reward has been increased to ten lakh rupees now. Inspector Zayed is leading the investigation, and he is pretty confident that they will succeed. For the common people of Delhi, here is a photograph of the murderer Arjun Rathore. Please inform your nearest Police Station if you see this scum.”
My photograph ran uninterrupted for at least a minute, and I realized that I was a walking target here. I quickly rushed out and jumped into Akshay’s Indica. Soon Tia joined me. She was wearing a black sleeveless kurta and salwar. Though she was still crying, I couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked.
“Tia, I know I have said this enough, and it still means horse-shit for you, but I truly am sorry for my actions. I have lost my parents in my childhood, and I know how it feels.”
She nodded and hugged me. “I know you are sorry. Sorry for being so rude over these years. Hating you was easier than realizing that your life was a train wreck itself.”
She smelled beautiful, more pleasant than any other perfume’s fragrance. I distracted myself and cleared my throat.
“What do the doctors say?”
“He is improving – maybe someday he will wake up like there has been nothing wrong with him.”
“Amen!”
She smiled and looked even prettier. I loved the way her nose twitched like a button as she fiddled with the seatbelt.
“Why are you checking me out?” she asked frankly.
I was at a loss for words. “Thanks for being there for me when I have no one.”
“Inspector Rathore, you are worth ten fucking lakhs. I am just here to sell you out.”
I laughed my heart out. “I won’t complain.”
~*~
We reached the old factory after an hour. We laughed and chatted throughout the whole journey. It felt like she had finally forgiven me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself, but she was a bigger person. After entering the dilapidated building, we looked all around the rickety structure but found no one. Tia took her burner phone out and started pressing digits on it.
“Where are you, Sid? I am here already.”
“Just wait there, I am coming shortly.”
She disconnected the call and sat on a nearby stool. The place had cobwebs and dust in all the nooks and crannies. The stool made a creaking sound.
“I bet that it would collapse within a minute” I added sarcastically.
She threw a candle at me in anger. “You are calling me fat?”
“Just kidding. So, this friend of yours, Sid! Is he your boyfriend?”
“Was – he was my boyfriend. We both had similar interests in our college, and I made some very shitty choices in my life that I regret now.”
“Haha, that’s nice to hear!” I replied without thinking twice.
“What do you mean by that Mr. Rathore?”
“Um- nothing.”
She stood up and took hurried steps towards me. “I told you that I made some shitty choices in my life and you are grateful for that?”
I grinned sheepishly. I had not done that in eternity. “I meant that you being single was nice to hear.”
She blushed. “Why is that so?”
“Beautiful girls should be single.”
“Arjun, are you hitting on me?” she asked mischievously.
I was about to say something, but then I bit my tongue. “Nothing – let’s just wait for your ex-boyfriend. This old place doesn’t even have electricity.” I muttered as I burnt the candle she had thrown at me.
She was about to return to sit on the stool when she saw something which made her jump.
“Arjun, there is a lizard.”
Without thinking twice, she jumped on me, and both of us fell on the floor. At that moment, it seemed as if time had stood still. All of Shikha’s thoughts left my mind, and I could only smell Tia’s fragrance. Her hair had covered my face, and I forgot all my worries for this brief moment. She looked at my face and giggled.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I replied as I helped her to get up.
The lizard had gone away, and she took a sigh of relief. I couldn’t help but smile which was unusual for me. At that moment, she received a text on her phone which changed everything. It was from Sid. It was a very short message – just one word.
‘Sorry.’
“Arjun, he texted me sorry. What does it mean?”
“It means that he fucked us,” I added with my lips turning into a line.
And surely he did. We could hear Police sirens from outside. “Tia, we are trapped.”
~*~
Inspector Zayed had taken a handful of his cops and rushed towards the old factory at Noida. As per the tip from one of the informers, Arjun was holed up at this place along with an apprentice. He didn’t want to waste any time and hence didn’t tell anyone about the same. He knew that Pratap would be pissed but catching Arjun was the priority. Once they were outside the building, he blurted the Police siren and took a megaphone in his hand.
“Arjun, don’t let me come inside. Surrender and let this go to trial. If I step inside, it won’t end well for you.”
He quickly ordered some officers to go to the back so that the whole establishment was surrounded.
“You are surrounded, hand yourself over right now!”
Still, there was no reply from the inside. Zayed was losing his cool. He knew that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him to catch Arjun. He ordered a couple of officers to go inside from the front.
“Remember guys, we have to catch them today whether dead or alive.”
~*~
I looked at Tia in complete horror. This was all a setup, and we were fucked. I took her hand and decided to go outside the front gate quickly. I wished that Gods would be favoring me today, but they never did.
“Tia, just follow my lead. No heroics or anything, we need to stay alive today and not get caught,” I whispered in her ear.
&nb
sp; She smiled and nodded. I was baffled. “What are you smiling about?” I spoke hurriedly.
“I have really sensitive ears,” she replied.
This was not the time to discuss her sensitive ears. I quickly extinguished the candle’s flame, and there was complete darkness in that corner room.
“Let’s make a run for it now!”
I couldn’t see her nod, but she walked beside me and matched my pace. We were about to sneak out the front gate when I heard an ominous sound. The gate started opening, and we stood there petrified. Two officers walked in right towards us.
“FUCK!” shouted Tia.
Without wasting any second, they shot a bullet at us. I jumped in front of her and evaded the bullet by a whisker. I pushed her behind a dilapidated table and jumped beside her to get a cover.
“I told you not to do anything stupid. They are pretty desperate if they have the orders for shoot-at-sight.”
“Sorry,” she muttered.
“Let’s try to crawl our way to the debris at the back.”
She nodded and started crawling to the back. The officers were searching every corner of the hall. We avoided them because of the low light.
“Arjun, look to your right!” she gasped.
I looked to my right and saw a fat officer searching the place. He was the same who had fired the shot. I quickly covered my body with a blue cloth lying there hoping that he would think that it was a heap of something old and battered. Out of the corner of my eye, I scanned Tia. She was already in the back and indicated that there was a back door there. The officer looked once at me and ignored me. I was able to see everything through a hole in the cloth. I thanked my luck – maybe today was my lucky day. At that moment, I sensed something wrong. They had noticed some movement at the back and were going there to identify the source of the noise. Tia was in danger, and I had to do something. I scanned my surroundings and found a big screwdriver on the floor. With all my might, I threw it upstairs on the first floor.
Death and Dishonor Page 18