“What the fuck!” I finally yell. I have to say it isn’t my finest hour, but I’m so thrown off by this revelation that my mind goes sideways. It falters, reeling. I feel myself burning, burning every single thing I thought I knew about this girl, down to the ground. I feel muddled and shaky inside. I get up and pace the room, baseball forgotten.
“I’m sorry. But I thought you should know. Ted said that was a couple of weeks ago. I wonder what she’s doing in Rome. Any clue?” Jeremy asks. He didn’t react to my scream fest, and I’m grateful for that.
“Not even a little bit. I have no idea why she would be in Rome of all places. Goddamnit! I can’t believe what she’s put me through. I’m pissed. I’m so fucking pissed. Apparently, she’s fine. Maybe she just didn't want me,” I say bitterly.
“I keep thinking it’s something she’s embarrassed about, or she’s trying to hide something from you. Maybe another guy? Or a secret baby?” Jeremy suggests, but I can’t see straight. My anger causes me to go into a blind rage.
“Maybe. Really I don’t think I knew her as well as I thought I did. I need to let it go, let her go. She’s cost me enough pain for one lifetime.” I dribble my beer as I make my declaration. In this moment, I know that I’m done.
Or at least I fucking hope I am. She isn’t worth all this pain and loneliness. Shit. But I’m hurt as fuck.
Why would anyone want to hurt someone like she hurt me?
She said she loved me. I know better now: that bitch never loved me.
She up and left me, that’s what she did.
I’m over this shit. Over her. Period.
Chapter Eight
Alex
“The winner is…” The lights flash in the dark room and the buzzers blare.
The winner, a young, good-looking man, eagerly grabs at the tower of chips. He’s dressed in a fancy sports coat, and as sweat pours down his fleshy face he pulls his winnings towards himself.
TABOO is hopping tonight. The blackjack table is full with seven players. All these cats have a pile of chips sitting in front of them. Dealer says, “21,” and the winner is the man sitting straight across from him. He’s a young, hipster looking guy and has no manners. As he stands up and yells, “Woohoo!”, he fist-bumps the air. He fumbles at the chips pushed his way.
The woman next to him looks sideways. Her face reveals how she feels. She looks disgusted. She scowls and turns away from him. She looks conservative with her shirt buttoned up tight at her throat. It looks like she’s been losing all night as her stack of chips has dwindled to just a measly few.
People lose big in this card house. TABOO is known for its card games. House women meander around the edges, sliding their hands seductively up men’s legs. I just saw one of them run her hands up that hipster’s leg, and he’s pawing at her. Makes me sick.
I hate the way these ladies of the night coerce more cash from the pockets of squirrelly, lonely men. I look around the room and see the manwhores mingling with the rich. Their approach is more subtle as they stand behind women and root them on. It’s a way to get them to bet higher, to rip money out of the pockets of bored, rich females.
This is the playground of the filthy rich. You can’t even get through the door if you aren’t at a certain economic tax bracket. The rich roll in with their fancy as fuck clothes. There are no rules here to follow. There are no betting limits at the tables. It makes me nauseous, and I really wish I could leave.
I try to ground myself as I hear, “Choose your game, folks. Step right up!”
They’re here to pass the time. Money is no object. TABOO sells games and sex.
The few slot machines clang, full of noise that rattles inside the room. No fucking quarter slots for these rich people. Hell no. Only $20 slots. And the machines beep all night long.
It’s all a plan by that fuckface Norris. He’s been playing this game for years. I know he gets a piece of the action every single day. He’s cut into a percentage of the room, but he gets more money from these game whores.
Maybe he owns the place. Or maybe the Cribs do. I have no clue. All I know is he lords over me every minute I’m here. He acts like he owns me and drools as he checks out my body, following every curve. The day he found me on the streets of San Francisco was the day I lost my soul.
“Alex, get back to work.” Norris is nasty every single time he talks to me. “I’m going to fuck you someday,” he growls, salivating over me. I try to keep my guard up around him; I really believe someday he’s going to rape me.
One night when I was working, I saw Norris grab a girl right off the floor. He dragged her to a back room, screaming, “Get in the back, bitch!” She looked around to find a friendly helpful someone, but no one wanted to step in to help her. We were all worried for our own safety.
I heard her beg, ”Please, please don’t,” but nothing was going to dissuade Norris from putting his filthy hands on her. No one was going to save her. I wanted to defend her, grab him and kick him in the balls, but I froze, watching him yank her viciously to the back room.
Before the door slammed I heard her “Oomph.”
I never saw her again. I imagine he raped and killed her all in one night. It gave me horrid nightmares.
I try to stay away from him. He scares the ever-loving shit out of me with his cruel words.
“Get back to work, you fucking tools!” he yelled when he came back from raping her. “You want to be next?”
I pull in a deep breath and steel myself to get through this night. I have a few more hours until I can go home. I make tips here at this gambling house. No hourly wage for me. And when I say tips, I mean a part of the money left specifically for me. Norris has his hand stretched out for his 25% cut; I can never say no to him. Then there are the busboys and servers, and they get a cut. Let’s just say this isn’t a payday for me. And I’m bitter as fuck.
I hate it. I hate the games and I hate the people. Mostly though, I hate Norris.
Norris is as vile as they come. He's the monster in the night.
Chapter Nine
Jack
Jeremy stays for the rest of the game. Giants win 5 to 2. Derek Johnson saves the day with three out of four hits—he even hits a two-run homer. It was a great game, and I try like hell to stop thinking about his news. What could possibly have taken Lizzy to Rome? I’ve heard nothing from her in months. She left on a whisper. I can’t wrap my head around it and really don’t want to anymore. Fuck this shit. I am done worrying about a nightmare.
Jeremy leaves shortly after the game. I don’t feel like being alone, so I go to Rocco’s and take a seat at the shiny wooden bar. I ask for my usual, a shot and a beer. Maybe it’ll clear my head, and maybe Alex will be around. One can always hope. A quick look around and I don’t see her anywhere. Honestly, I’m disappointed.
I knock back my shot and start sipping my beer.
My life hasn’t always been on Easy Street. When I was sixteen, I left home. I thought I was a grown man and it was time to fly free. The truth took me a long time to acknowledge, even to myself. I was still a boy and wasn’t ready for such a grownup decision. I really couldn’t take care of myself.
I got lost for almost a year. At first things were great; I had money, and life was good. But when I had to leave the motel, when I ran out of money, I became homeless. Eventually I lived in a deserted house with other stray boys. I thought my mother’s life would be easier for her with me gone. But later I found out I had crushed her heart. Life got tough and I missed home. I missed Jeremy more than I thought I would.
Eventually, I was approached by the Cribs to join their little “club.” Back then my buddy, Clue, was hanging around, taking me to BBQ’s and telling me how great the gang life was. He wanted me to be a runner for them, but somehow, luckily for me, I stayed out of their clutches. Thank fuck for small favors.
I missed Jeremy horribly. He was twelve, and I was convinced that I would forge a path for both of us. I just wanted something I wasn’t ready for. I
wasn’t grown at all. Fuck, I learned the hard way, that’s for damn sure.
Even now the whole thing never makes much sense. I’m still confused about the decision I made that left me all alone in the world. Everyone knows you’re not a man at the age of sixteen. I needed direction. I needed food on the table every day. I crushed my mother, and Jeremy? Well, I hurt him in horrible ways.
After living in such horrific conditions, I finally broke down and called Mom and asked if I could come home. “Mom, I made a mistake, can I ...” I started to cry before the words could fall from my lips. I was filthy and starving. I tried to panhandle, but I just wasn’t any good at it. Food was scarce, and too many days I went without.
Mom said, “Come home, my baby. Come home.” I was on the next bus home. I had lost so much weight my pants just fell right off me. My mother tried her best to fatten me up with her cooking after that.
I went back to high school and took my senior year. I finally graduated at the ripe old age of nineteen. I was so proud of myself for getting through the year.
That’s the year Jeremy and I became so close. I didn’t trust other boys. I normally kept to myself. But when I’d burst through the door at home at the end of the day, Jeremy and I would lock eyes and never leave each other’s side. He was my best friend, and I was his. We created a bond that will never break. It took me a long time to tell him some of what happened in that fucking homeless house, and I never told Mom.
Really, how do you tell your mom you about starved to death over nothing but pride?
Mom finally married her long-time boyfriend when I got back home. She and Bob had been together for years by then. She’s tall and so pretty with dirty blonde hair falling in curls to her shoulders, and her blue eyes are so stunning. She’s an incredible mother, and now I know how lucky I am to have her. She embraced me back in the family every day after that.
Bob’s a pretty cool dude, too. He has dark hair and he’s as tall as Mom. They make a handsome couple, that’s for damn sure.
They got married in the backyard of our house. Maybe twenty people came to witness their vows. I was Bob’s best man, and my brother stood next to me. We wore hippy tuxes—you guessed it: they were old school hippies. But they were loving as hell, and I still look at them and wonder why the hell I was so foolish to run.
I’m imagining life back in the day when I feel a tap on my arm. I look up to see Alex standing in front of me, hip pushed out with her knuckle holding up her arm. Her pink hair is molded to form a small mohawk on top of her beautiful face. She looks like a vision, and I want to grab her and kiss her. I hold back and give her a sly smile instead.
“Hey pretty girl, whatcha doin?” I ask with a lilt to my voice. She’s so much fun to flirt with.
She smiles a wry, sweet smile and says, “Looking for you, lover boy.” I love that she calls me that, and my heart goes pitter patter. This girl is something else, and I hope she’ll go home with me tonight. I don’t want the loneliness to creep inside.
“Hey, when do you get off work, darlin?” I ask with a broad smile that I hope charms her.
“Oh, in about an hour. Why?” Alex inquires. I know she’s teasing me, and I run my finger up her arm. I watch the skin on her arm break out in goosebumps. How cute.
“Hmm, just thinking,” I say with another fat smile.
“Oh, yeah? Well, I’m thinking I want you again tonight,” Alex whispers. She’s bold and speaks her mind. I love that about her. She’s such a badass chick.
“You got me. You want to try my place or yours?” I give her a little wink. My smile widens. Oh, tonight’s on, baby!
“Let’s meet at my place—unless you have a car and can drive me home?” Alex whispers in my ear. I put down the beer. I can drive if I stop drinking right now.
“Why don’t you fix me up with some sparkling water and lime, and I’ll drive you home. I don’t mind waiting.” I hope she bites.
She says, “Sure, sounds good. I’ll be right back.” She walks to the bar and puts in my order. I get to watch her walk back towards me. I’m having so much fun with Alex. I just want to lose myself inside her hot cunt again.
“Okay, here’s your drink. Now, be a good boy. I’ll be back around to check on you later,” Alex teases. She takes her little pad and her pen she keeps tucked behind her ear and sashays off, swaying that sexy, fine ass. I watch as she walks away from me.
I know I’m in for a great night.
Chapter Ten
Jack
We barely make it in the door before Alex and I are all over each other. We kiss, and I never want to stop. Our animal attraction is off the charts, and I grab her tightly to me. I walk her backwards towards her bedroom, kissing her all the way until her legs back up to the edge of the bed and I roughly push her down. I’m not gentle with Alex.
“You know I love it rough,” Alex purrs as she desperately holds onto me. Last time we were together I discovered how rough she likes it, so I’m aggressive as hell. It feels so good not to treat her like a fragile thing, like she’s going to break.
I rip off my shirt and pull off her blouse. As I unsnap her bra, it falls to the side, and there are her fantastic hot tits out in the open. I snag a nipple in my mouth and squeeze the other tight. I look up at Alex’s face, and she looks enthralled as I lay waste to her body. I’m so fucking attracted to this girl. I can’t keep my hands off her gorgeous body.
“You look hot tonight, darlin,” I whisper gruffly.
“I can’t wait for your hard cock, lover boy.” Alex grabs on tight to me. “Fuck me, Jack. Come on, fuck me hard.” Our desire for each other roars like a combustible fire.
I drag the rest of her clothes off and bite a pathway down her body. I leave teeth marks, but she doesn’t care.
“Oh, I love that,” Alex moans. The more aggressive I am with her, the more she responds to me. She’s writhing beneath me, and I know she wants my cock. But the need to tease her first is raging in my chest. I want to savor every moment. Every drop of passion that we create is like a symphony of lust. After she comes, I’m going to pound her into this mattress like a maniac.
“No cock yet, darlin,” I whisper in her ear. “I need to watch you fall apart first.”
I push her legs apart and her cunt spreads for me like a beautiful glistening playground. I run my fingers through her silky skin. She’s so wet for me, and I can’t hold back as my tongue sweeps over her hard clit.
“Oh, that feel so good,” she groans. She arches her back and goes wild for me. I slam two fingers inside her and pump mercilessly as I suck her clit into my mouth. I’m in erotic heaven. I think I can actually hear the angels sing.
“I love that,” Alex groans as she pulls on my hair.
“I love how you respond to me,” I say roughly when I come up for air.
Alex clings to me as though we’ve done this a million times. We claw at each other, desperate for each other’s bodies, sweating and breathing hard. I play her body with my tongue and fingers like a special new instrument. I can’t wait to pound my dick inside her beautiful cunt. I love watching her orgasm. She comes like a dream.
“You turn me on so much, sweet thing,” I howl.
I look up into her gorgeous face. Her body writhing under me feels so freaking good, so amazing. She opens her eyes and looks right back at me. She’s vulnerable in this moment, and I love what I see.
“Take me,” Alex whispers.
“Not yet, sexy thing,” I command in a voice I don’t recognize; I have never heard this tone come from me before. I hold her hands up above her head and kiss her with all that I am. I kiss her hard as fuck, frantic for more. I go back to her hard, wet nub and sends her rigid body over the abyss. She arches her back and screams, “Jack!” while she spasms right into my mouth. Down and dirty, I chant in my head.
“You are a dirty little thing,” I say in a strong, even voice.
“You make me feel so good,” she whispers with a hint of a giggle.
After
she recovers from her orgasm, I’m ready to plow her into oblivion. I slide my body up onto her and lay myself between her legs. My cock is at full attention, aching from being ignored. I hungrily rub up and down her body and slide my cock through her juices.
“Give me your cock,” she begs with a whimper.
“Soon,” I say as I tease both of us. I grab a condom and roll it down my length.
“I want your cock, please.” Alex begs me for the fucking I have in store for her. ”Please, give me your cock!” she demands, and I love it. Then, without another word, I slam right into her. I want to live inside her cunt forever. I look her in the eyes, pistoning my hips as fast as I can. I’m not going to stop until I’ve chased my own orgasm, but I slow for a bit; I don’t want to blow too soon. I feel her body go rigid under me soon after, and we come together this time, screaming our pleasure.
This woman blows my fucking mind.
We squeal in ecstasy. I hear, “Jack,” in the background, but I can’t stop to respond. I’m going off like a rocket and yell out, “Alex!” Finally, I begin to slow my pumping. I fall to the side of Alex, but I keep her close to me. I pull her over to lay her head on my shoulder as we both try to catch our breath. All I can hear is our heavy breathing echoing in the room. Wow, I really needed that. I say, “You okay?” and look over to her.
“Oh yeah, I’m definitely okay. I’m great.” She sighs.
“You are amazing, beautiful girl,” I say as I feel her body relax in my arms.
“Whew! I needed that!” Alex says with a giggle. Exactly what I was thinking.
We are sticky, sweaty, but it feels so good. I don’t care if we need a shower. I can live in her sex smell every single day.
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