I need to let it go. But I hope to see her soon.
The phone rings. In the past, I’d be praying it was Lizzy. It makes me wonder if I just don’t care whether she calls anymore. I think she waited too long, and I can feel my connection to her snap off, like a twig….once…twice…and my thoughts of her and my love are breaking apart. One by one, my feelings are slipping away. My love for her just slides right out of me and down the drain.
“Hey Jeremy, what’s up?” I ask, pushing the bottle up to my mouth. I take a large swallow and feel the fiery liquid slide down my throat. It’s just what I need. I’m finally relaxing, and I place the bottle back down on my coffee table.
“Hey, how’d your first day go?” He’s such a good brother, checking in like this.
“Well, I’m exhausted, if that tells you anything.” We both chuckle. Being exhausted from a long, good day’s work feels amazing.
Then I go over all the gory details of my day.
“Aww, so you jumped right in. Did Derek come by to say hi? He said he was going to make sure he was there on your first day,” Jeremy says.
“Yeah, he’s great. I got to say, I was surprised how involved he really is. He knew every one of my kids.” I take a deep breath. Today really beat the shit out of me. “I’m worried about the gangs, you know, getting a hold of one of them. They've already tried with one of my kids. I hope our intervention keeps him safe.”
“Damn, that’s a tough one. Sorry, bro.” Jeremy talks softly, but I know he understands the pain the gangs can bring to someone’s life. Ruining lives is a specialty of theirs.
“It’s really hard to comprehend what these kids face.” I hope he gets where I’m coming from. Tomorrow’s going to kick my ass, worse than today.
“But you made the right move?” Jeremy asks. Concern laces his words. I think I did. I still committed to giving my all.
“I haven’t changed my mind, if that’s what you're asking. These kids need someone to care.” Sure, care, but I need to protect my heart.
“Good, let me know if I can help in any way,” Jeremy offers.
Wait, I have an idea.
“There is something, dude. How about you volunteer to help serve hot meals? They serve them every night down on Market. How about we do it together?” I’m sure he’ll be on board.
“Sure, I didn’t even know about that program. That would be awesome,” Jeremy says.
“Okay, I’ll let them know to expect to hear from you. I’ll text you the information,” I offer. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about Tomas. His mother thinks the Cribs are trying to move in on him. What do you think I should do?”
“I need to know more about this kid.” Then he adds, ”Of course, I’ll help in any way I can.” My brother’s such a good man. He wears his heart on his sleeve. I think if anyone can help me with Tomas, it’s Jeremy.
“Okay, let me pull all the info I have and I’ll email it to you.” I know he can help me pull Tomas away from the Cribs before it’s impossible to get him out. I’ve heard that once you’re in there’s only one way out. I’d be crushed if something like that happened to him. I’m starting to feel protective of all my kids. Since the time I came back from abandoning him, leaving Jeremy out in the wind while I ventured out into the fucked-up world, I know how much I hurt him. I’ve been trying to make it up to him for years.
“Don’t worry, we’ll work on this together. Try to keep Tomas safe.” Jeremy is emphatic.
“Yeah, it’s a lot to ask of you, bro. But I hope we can figure out what’s going on with him.”
Jeremy agrees and then adds, “Hey, when can I come over? Maybe we could watch game four together? It’s on Wednesday night. I could be over with dinner at 7. We can talk about everything then.”
“Sounds good, I’m sure I’ll know more about my job. Be good to see you.”
“Yes, it’ll be good,” Jeremy says
After that, we hang up. I’m left with my thoughts on my day.
My life has gone from cushy easy street to a whole level of fucked up I don’t quite understand yet. I think meeting the families will help me get a handle on these kids. I hope I can connect with these teens. I hope I can be that guy they know they can count on.
Only time will tell.
I fall back on the couch, push my shoes off, and prop my feet up on the coffee table. I don’t even get to the kitchen for dinner; I fall fast asleep just like that.
My dreams are filled with horror shows of kids being beaten or scarred in other horrific ways. I try to save them, but they are in a burning building, and I can't reach them all. Tomas is lost to me as my fingers singe, trying to drag him to safety.
I wake with a start. Fuck, I missed the four o'clock time with Alex. It’s already time to get up and go back to work. I need to do some research on working with troubled teens and do some research on the Cribs and Bloodlusts. They've been running the city for years.
I get online and order books that might help me do my job better.
I’m determined to connect with Alex tonight. I want to slide my naked body over hers and fuck her into oblivion.
She’s down. She never says no.
And that right there is enough for now.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jack
I decide to stop by Tomas’ house on my way to the office. His mother’s home, with her newborn baby snuggled up in her arms. She gestures for me to come in and points to the couch while she takes a seat across from me in an old, overstuffed chair. Her baby looks so cute, wrapped in a soft sweet pink blanket. She’s cradled in her arms as she holds the bottle for her.
“Good Morning Mrs. Gerrard. Your baby’s adorable,” I begin.
“I wish I had more help. Do you think you can get Tomas to hang at home more? To help me, I mean?” his mother asks. I glance around the house and see dishes piled up by the sink, a room that needs straightening, and a disheveled woman sitting in front of me. I bet it’s rough on her, taking care of that baby all by herself.
I remember Karen, one of my high school friends, dropped out of school to raise her newborn baby. I stopped by once and she had the same exhausted, desperate look about her. I never went back out of guilt more than anything else. I had no idea why I felt so guilty, but looking at her struggles…well, I didn’t offer to help. I got out of there as fast as I could. I wonder what happened to them.
“I don’t know, Mrs. Gerrard. I hope to meet him today. Is he at school?” My eyes flick to hers; I can see she doesn’t know.
“Who knows. That boy runs wild in the streets since his father left.” Mrs. Gerrard shrugs, and boy does she sound bitter. “He’s not here. I don’t know where he slept last night. I’m worried about him, Mr. Jack,” she adds, and I’m concerned too.
“Does he have a cell phone?” I say and then add, “You want to tell me about him? What's going on with him?”
“Let me put Veronica down for her nap. I’ll be right back.”
While she’s gone, I start thinking back to High School. I was in tenth grade when I became Larry’s ‘project.’ He tortured me for months. He was the leader of a bunch of boys who hated me as much as he did. I know the hurt that comes from the hatred of a group of boys; I was surrounded by boys who wanted to hurt me. Now, I realize Larry was on some sort of power trip, and he provided his friends with the acceptance they were looking for. At the time, I was shattered by their taunts.
”Jack, you’re such an asshole.”
“I saw you in the shower—tsk tsk, your dick is so tiny.”
I remember those ugly moments when I felt so alone and scared. I hope Tomas isn’t being tortured like I was.
The memories run rip shod right over me. They bust me right in the chops. It slams into me like it was yesterday.
“Virgin piss boy.”
“No dad Jack.”
“Whiny bitch Jack.”
“Baby boy Jack.”
I was twelve years old. I’d just lost my father. I had no one to show
me what being a man even meant. Larry would corner me whenever we were alone and smash his fist into my gut. I would double over in agony while he slammed his fist in my face. I wore his bruises every day that year. I hope Tomas isn’t suffering from the same fucked-up shit I was tormented with.
Tomas’s mother comes back, taking a seat across from me and taking a deep breath.
“Where were we? You wanted to hear about Tomas. That boy was such a sweet baby. Until he was around twelve, he was so good to me. School got hard for him, ya know? He met this boy, Atlas, and things got bad. He fell behind in his studies, and then he stopped coming around as much. I think his friend has something to do with it. That guy came by once, and I got a bad feeling from him, Made me think he’s a bad influence. Then Tomas’ father upped and left just before his sister was born, and now he’s gone straight-up wild. I’m worried this boy, Atlas…he’s in the Cribs and might...” She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I watch as her tears begin to slip down her face. I’m so sad for this family. “So anyway, Tomas fell apart at the age of fourteen.” She takes another deep, stuttering breath, looking around until her eyes land on me.
“I hope you can find him,” Mrs. Gerrard says. “If you see him, tell him to come home. Okay?” “Tell him I’m worried about him.”
“I will. If you see him, let him know I’m looking for him. Here’s my card. Have him call me,” I say. “And of course, feel free to contact me anytime.”
“Here’s his cell number.” After that, I leave Mrs. Gerrard with her baby. My next step is to find Tomas. I have another appointment to get to, but then I will search for him. I’m concerned about this boy Atlas and his influence on Tomas. I hope I can offer him some new ideas for surviving his teen years.
By the end of my second day, I’m already starting to care for these kids. After playing ball with them and my home visits, it’s been an eye opener. They’re totally cool kids. I need to put my past behind me so I can do this job. I’ve met four families, three kids, and I’m still looking for Tomas. I’m starting to worry about that kid and hope to hear back soon.
Finally, it’s time to go see Alex. I need to wash off this long-ass day of sweat and grime. So many kids have no support at home. All these kids want is love and support, and if they can’t get it at home, they’re looking elsewhere. The gangs offer a way to fill the void inside their lives. I could have been one of them. I hope I can catch them before they fall into something that could mess up their life for good.
One by one, I’m going to build relationships with each teen. I know in my heart I can relate to their lives.
I wrap a towel tightly around my waist when I step out of the shower. I go out to the kitchen to grab a beer. I take a large swallow of the cool drink and feel better when I feel it slide down my scorched throat. Then I go back to my room and pull on some fresh jeans and a clean T-shirt. I comb my hair away from my face and grab my keys.
I jump in my car and take off for Alex’s neighborhood. I can’t wait to take her beautiful face in my hands and kiss her with all my pent-up frustrations. I hope she’s ready for me. She’s in for a hard pounding, that’s for damn sure. I want to fuck her into oblivion and then wrap my arms around her, to get lost in her gorgeous eyes. It’s going to be amazing to finally relax with Alex lying beside me.
I park my Camero, and as I stroll up the walkway, Alex flings the door wide open, greeting me with her happy smile. I grab her around the waist and pull her firmly against me.
“Girl, you look amazing tonight, so beautiful.” I smile down on her and then kiss her with all the passion brewing inside. I’m feeling all sorts of emotions from today, and I can’t wait to strip her bare. I nuzzle her neck and inhale her sweet scent.
“It’s so good to see you,” Alex whispers as she kisses my neck and grabs at my T-shirt. I step inside and close the door with my foot as I drag Alex backward towards her bedroom. I pull off her top and ground my chest into her.
“I missed you, baby,” I say, looking in her soft brown eyes. I know she can feel my dick, hard as a rock, pushing against her tiny body. We both grab at our buttons and zippers and pull our pants off.
I push her down on the bed and say, “You ready, sweetheart? I‘m gonna pound you so hard.” I give her a sexy grin. She grunts as our bodies rub together. I slam inside her hot pussy and begin to thrust, pounding her into the bed. This is what I’ve been dreaming of, and it’s the perfect ending to my long as fuck day.
I pull out of her and start kissing down her gorgeous body. I want to get a taste. I look up from her pussy. “I want this hot cunt,” I say and swipe my tongue over her hard clit. She’s so responsive and bucks her hips up into my face as I begin to eat her. I plunge two fingers inside her and feel her pussy contract around my fingers.
“Oh, that feels so good,” Alex pants.
I love how her body responds to me. She screams ,“Jack!” and her back arches and her cunt spasms on a continuous loop. I want her to come around my cock and can’t wait to fuck her.
“Whew,” Alex breathes out.
I crawl up and haul her into my arms. I give her a short reprieve, a chance to catch her breath. Then I look deep into her soft brown eyes and slide my dick inside. I slowly pump my hips and whisper, “You ready, gorgeous?”
Alex reaches up and strokes my cheek. “I’m ready, lover boy.” That’s all I need to release the passion inside. I pound her, our hips clashing together over and over again. I feel her body tense, and she spirals into orgasm again, screaming “Jack!” Soon after, I’m calling her name.
I fall to the side of Alex and draw her sweaty body to my shoulder. “That was incredible,” she says, still shaky from her orgasm. She clings to me. “You are my sex god,” Alex groans
“You are my sex queen,” I moan into her hair. There’s nothing like holding Alex after we fuck. It feels so close, so spiritual, like a prayer. I whisper, ”You really are,” snuggling close to her neck.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Alex
Damnit! I can’t believe it. I don’t think he’s going to let this go. I would tell him more about the card room and who I work for, but I don’t want to endanger his life. I look over at his handsome face and wistfully get lost in his sharp, rugged jaw and crystal blue eyes. He’s the most soulful man I have ever known. And he fucks like a maniac. That’s what this was supposed to be about. Fucking and nothing more. But things seem to be shifting, and I wonder if this is a bad thing or not? Things have gotten complicated.
Right from the start, I just wanted a fuck buddy. I know that’s what he was looking for. The animal attraction is crazy over the moon. I can’t keep my hands off him whenever he’s near me. I just want to jump his bones every single time I see his gorgeous face. He makes me feel all swoony. He’s so handsome with that hot as hell body, and that cock…oh lordy, that cock! He sure knows what to do with that cock. There’s nothing worse than a man with a 9-inch cock who doesn’t know how to fuck. His intoxicating smell gets me so emotional, and he tastes so freaking good. I can’t ever get enough of him. And don’t even get me started on that tat. Sigh. His spine has a tattoo spiraling all the way down to his ass. It makes him look strong as fuck. He’s strong, with bulky muscles showcasing every time he moves, his arms strung tight. He’s cut like granite. What more could I want?
He’s virtually perfect for me.
He flings me over his shoulder and storms into my room. He throws me onto the bed, and I bounce a little judder. Damn, I can’t wait to feel his body press against mine. I love the feel of his weight pushing down on me. I drag my hands down his back and slip them under his arms.
“I know I haven’t shared a lot about what I do, but I’m worried about your safety. Can you understand?” I say while I press my thumbs under his eyes and give him a soft kiss. He’s been pushing me to divulge my secrets.
“Wait a minute, what the fuck does that mean?” he growls, sounding pissed. I’ve never heard him sound angry before. My nerves do a little skit
ter over my skin and up my spine. Shit, I don’t want that.
“Well,” I blow out some air, “where I work, it’s kind of illegal. If my boss finds out I’ve been spilling my guts, I worry what he might do to you. If he knew you knew about it...” It’s true enough. Norris would definitely punish me for flapping my gums. “Or what he’d do to me.”
On the other hand, I’ve been carrying his secrets since I was sixteen years old. I’m strung up tight from the stress and exhausted from the fucking hours. I wonder if Jack has any idea how I can get out of this mess. I haven’t been able to get out from under this crap on my own. I’ve never told a soul what and where I work. I always assume it’s a bad idea. Bad for staying alive, that is.
I trust Jack. He’s only ever been sweet and kind to me. Our bond has been growing ever since the first night he came over to my place. And fuck, it’s been years since I was that stupid fifteen-year-old girl.
Now that I know Jack, there’s something in me pushing me forward. I’m not sure why I’m so anxious to share this part of my life with him, but I really want to.
“Listen, baby, who am I going to tell? You’re safe with me, doll,” Jack says, looking deep into my eyes. I believe him. I think he’s starting to care for me just as much as I care for him. But I’m hesitant to say anything to him about feelings. I just can’t go down that road, because I don’t want to see him run.
“I want to—believe me, I do. I’m concerned is all. Do you understand? You have to swear that it never goes any further,” I say, worrying my lower lip.
“Of course, baby. I won’t say a word. I promise.” Jack looks at me with pleading puppy dog eyes that I can’t resist. I know, he says that now. Hmm, I guess I could share more with him. Who’s it going to hurt, anyway?
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