“Jack, take this.” He hands me a Glock that I silently slip into the back of my jeans. I slide my T-shirt over my back to conceal it.
“Thanks, dude,” I offer. I’ve used a gun before. I have one at home, locked away in my safe, but it won’t help me now. I feel better being armed. There’s cold comfort in the feel of the steel on my back. My skin warms it quickly.
I look at Rocco. “Ready?” I ask. I really wish he could come with me. I hope I can handle myself with this dude, but my shaky hands tell me differently. I look at Jeremy, and he gives me a nod like he believes in me.
“Yeah, let’s hit it.” We both give Jeremy a nod and head towards the door.
“Hey, let me know you’re okay?”
We say in unison, “Sure,” and then we’re outside.
Rocco walks to his black motorcycle; he has a Harley Fatboy. The tank and frame are glossy black and the paint gleams in the hot sun.
“I’ll be right behind you, yeah?” Rocco says as he swings his leg over the tank. “Thanks man.”
I crawl into my Camero and snap the seatbelt over my lap. I slide the window down all the way.
“Stay in touch?” Jeremy asks as Rocco starts rolling slowly out of the lot.
“Of course, I’ll call you on the way,” I say. Norris wants us to meet at the San Francisco Center—more specifically, the café in Nordstrom's. I’m hoping I’m driving back here at the end of this meet, with Alex safely by my side.
My hands begin to tremble. I can’t control the shaking inside my chest. My knees rattle, and I chew on the inside of my cheek until I taste coppery blood.
The engine roars to life. I hit the steering wheel and call Jeremy before I’m even out of the parking lot.
“Jeremy?”
“Yeah, bro, I’m here,” he confirms, trying to sound reassuring. He’s back inside the bar. I want to talk to him on the way over.
“I’m freaking out. I feel like I’m going to cry!” I’m going to need his support to get through this trip to the San Francisco Center.
“Calm down, bro. We have to do this thing, we have to stay clear-headed. Don’t play the ‘what if’ game.”
“Yeah, I know, but...” Fuck, I don’t know what to say.
“I know, Jack. Just stay calm, okay? We’ll get her back. I promise we won’t rest until we have her back.”
The thought suddenly hits me hard.
What if we’re too late?
Oh god, I hope not. I begin to pray for all of us.
I pray she’s still alive.
The love of my life needs me to stay focused and bring her home, safe and sound.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Alex
I feel lost inside this room. It’s cold as fuck in here, but I can feel the sweat pouring off my body. I feel so dirty, and my stomach grumbles. When was the last time I ate?
I don’t remember. I try to remember when Norris took me. I remember it was in the morning. I didn’t eat before he nabbed me, that fucking prick. No wonder my stomach is talking to me. But it’s water. Oh dear lord, I need some water. My mouth is parched, and I tremble at the thought of water, sweet water, sliding down my aching throat.
Of course, I know Norris doesn’t fucking care. He wants something, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what the fuck that thing could be. But maybe he’ll keep me alive long enough to get it. I just can’t figure out why the fuck me?
I hear the key jingle at the door, and my anxiety goes straight through the roof. Who the fuck is coming in now? There’s nothing I can do to protect myself from whatever they’re planning.
I know Norris isn’t safe. The thought makes me laugh like a maniac. The man’s dangerous as fuck. I’ve seen him beat the crap out of a card dealer at TABOO. I tried not to think about it afterwards. That dude disappeared right after that, and I never saw him again. That’s the thing about this gang—it’s a fucking family of so many gangbangers with unpredictable power. Fucking unpredictable.
Norris carries a scowl on his fuck-ugly mug, and I never know what he’s thinking,
He’s always in a bad mood, snarling at everyone. He’s repulsive to me with his grimy sweaty face, his thin lips, and beady fucking eyes. His dark hair is shaved close to his scalp. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark soul.
I hated him the first day I met him.
“Alex, how are you gonna pay us back?” he demanded. He spoke to me in his disgusting, cruel way. He gave me a sneer, and I felt threatened immediately. I was so young; what did he expect?
And by the way, how did he even know my name? It terrified me right off the bat. I had no reference for this kind of a thing. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before. The fear struck down to my very bone marrow.
“Umm, I don’t know. I didn’t know...” I didn’t really know what to say. I had taken the money, stashed it at my house, and now a stranger was accosting me on the street on my way to school. Let’s be honest, I knew I was wrong to take it for myself. I waited a long fucking time to spend a dime of the thousands I found inside that bag. But when Norris grabbed me off the street that day, I didn’t know what to say to defend myself. I had no defense for my actions.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch! Did I tell you to talk?” He slammed my head against the wall and I about had a panic attack. I was a child and had frightening thoughts, like maybe he wanted to fuck me into submission. I had no clue what his plans for me were. The fear was palpable. Fear dripped over me in sticky, inky drops, unnerving my very soul.
“Look, I talked to my boss. He wants all of it back, plus interest.” The words trickled from his foul lips. He had this disgusting cigar dangling from his mouth, and the stench filled my nose. My stomach was queasy. The smell reached me from where I stood. Who was his boss? My mind twisted and turned.
I was terrified and didn’t know what I’d gotten myself into. Not really. What kid would have walked past that pile of money? Just left it sitting on the street? Was it my fucking fault? And who leaves a bag of money just laying around the street anyway?
“You got that kind of cash on you?” he snapped, looking mean as hell.
“Umm, no sir.” That’s all I had. I was shaking in my shoes. Quaking nerves spread throughout my whole being.
“Well, you’re going to work for us. At TABOO, our game room. Every Sat thru Mon I want you there. Smile pretty for our customers. You think you can do that?” He narrowed his eyes and looked in mine. Fuck, like I had a choice? I quickly agreed.
The dude was squirrely as fuck. He definitely used some kind of drug. Maybe coke? Or even meth? I heard the Cribs dealt in the stuff, and once you start you don’t want to stop. And why would he want to stop? He was the big bad head hauncho, or so I thought. He was a big dude in the gang. If I knew then what I know now, I would have fled town. But I thought I could pay off my debt and be free after that. I thought wrong. Once you’re in the gang business, you’re in for good.
There's no way out.
Once I agreed to work for them, frankly I learned the hard way that it’s something you don’t quit. You never pay off your debt. They own me! And it’s getting harder and harder to go to that fucking room, harder to smile, harder to act like a little princess robot.
I told Jack everything. I hoped maybe he’d know a way for me to get the fuck out of this organization. I even told Rocco. I just can’t hold back anymore. But that was before they stole me from my apartment yesterday. Or the day before.
Oh Jack, I sigh to myself. He’s an amazing man, a breath of fresh air. I wish I had told him how I felt, and now it’s too late. I was worried about dragging him into my shit. I hope he isn’t hurt over my foolishness.
Last time I saw him I finally copped to caring for him. I wish…fuck, I don’t know what I wish. I wish I had admitted my deep feelings right to his face. Why do we fucking stay so guarded with the people we love?
I got caught up in this gang bullshit when I was a child. I’ve done everything they’ve asked of me, but there’s never
an end, and I’m never given a break. I have never told anyone about how trapped I am. And now? Now it might be too late. Norris has no heart. He holds no goodness inside, none at all.
I don’t know what his plans are. Maybe, no matter what happens, I’m going to die. He could very well make promises to Jack that he never intends to keep. I pray he’s not planning on ending this, ending me. He walks over to a bag he carried into the room, grabs a bottle, and comes up to me.
“You’ve been here a while. Here, drink, bitch.” Norris holds a plastic bottle to my lips and I try to guzzle down the liquid before he can pull it away. He pulls it away anyway. I’ve had a bit, but it trickles down my chin.
“Stop being a greedy bitch, or I won’t give you any more. Slow the fuck down. All I need is for you to barf all over my Prada shoes.” He pushes my shoulder viciously—extra vicious, even for him.
I nod in agreement. Dude knows shoe brands? That makes me laugh.
“What the fuck is so funny?” Norris snarls while he punches me in the back.
“Argh!” I yell. That fucking hurt like a son of a bitch.
“You want water, cunt? Slow the fuck down!” My back is burning, but I try like hell to hide the pain.
He places the bottle by my lips again, and I force myself to take small sips. What I want to do is slap his filthy face and kick him right in the balls. It takes everything in me to hold back from trying to destroy him, my anger rising inside.
My time will come, but not now. It’s not the time to blow up, to blow my shit up.
“I brought you something to eat. I’m going to untie your hands, but don’t try anything, cunt,” Norris sneers. I want him to think that I’m still that naïve young girl. He talks to me like I’m still a teenager, and I think maybe I can convince him that I really am that frightened young girl, like I can fool him into thinking he’s dealing with someone who is weak instead of strong and grown.
I need my strength, so I simply nod in agreement.
“Good girl,” he purrs. Ugh, disgusting! Every time he says that I want to spit.
He loosens the ropes and lets me rub my arms. They’re so sore, and my wrists are bleeding from the rope tied too tight. I rub up and down and around them, then he pushes a sandwich into my hand.
I blow the hair out of my face and take a small bite. Bologna. I hate that shit, but I force it down to keep my strength up. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, but just in case, for the long haul, I need to eat. I’m meek as they come.
“Thank you,” I mumble, forcing myself to act the part of a meek as fuck child.
Laughter bubbles up inside my chest. I’m feeling insane.
“What the fuck is so funny, bitch?” He pushes hard against my shoulder, and I’m not sure what to say. I stay mute.
“Okay, finish up. I’ve got to go meet your boyfriend.” Wait! What the fuck did he just say? Is he talking about Jack? I think back on the last time I saw Jack. He was in my bed, snuggled up against my naked body. He makes my heart sing.
Why didn’t I tell him I was falling in love with him? I didn’t want to scare him off. But I may never get another chance, and regret lances through me. I wish I had told him the truth. I just pray he gets to hear it from me.
Oh Jack, keep me strong.
I finish the sandwich, choking down the last few bites. Norris hands me the bottle and I take a good long drink of water. Whew, you never know how much you depend on that shit until you can’t have it.
“Okay, bitch, time to go. Here, I’ve got to tie you back up,” Norris snarls, grabbing my hands. He ties me back up on that fucking heater. How long is he going to be gone? How long will this take?
“Good girl. I’ll be back.” Like I’m going to miss him. Fuck that shit. I hate him. I hate him with all of my being.
I hear the door click shut.
Fuck, stay safe, Jack. Please stay safe.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jack
I pull up to the San Francisco Center and park my car. This shopping mall is pretty insane with its circular escalators. I know exactly where I’m meeting Norris and have ten minutes to reach my destination. I jump out of the car and lock it up. I walk straight in while so much is running wild inside my head. Will he have Alex with him? I need to see her. I need to know she’s alive and well.
But I know she is NOT safe.
I just hope I have what it takes to get her back.
I’m not sure what I can do for this asshole, but I’ll do just about anything to set her free. I wonder how I’m going to know. How will I know he will release her after I do whatever it is he wants from me?
What could he fucking want with me? I want to scream and shout and let everyone know Norris kidnapped my girl. I know it’s a bad idea, but I play the conversation over in my head anyway. I want her back safely in my arms.
Unless it’s to kill someone. I couldn’t do that. But doesn't he have thugs for that? I know I’m sounding messed up; my mind is a whirl of emotions, and thoughts keep taking me to a fucked-up place I don’t want to go. I can’t calm down, and Alex needs me to calm the fuck down.
Jeremy is talking to me through my earpiece. “Fucking calm down, Jack. You’ve got to walk in calm. We have to cut this convo soon. And I’m worried you’re going to freak out with him. Talk to me before we hang up.” I know he’s right. I have got to stop hyperventilating. My hands are sweaty, shaky, and I’m lightheaded.
I stand outside the door and take some deep, calming breaths in hope of centering myself. I need to find some peace.
“Okay, going in. I’ll call as soon as I can.” I click off the phone and pull the earpiece out and shove both the phone and it in my pocket. Then I push the entrance door of the SF Center a little too hard, and it bangs against the wall as I go inside. I smell something sweet in the air, and it makes me nauseous.
I take a good look around and walk to the curved escalator. I think it might be the only one in the world, at least the first one of its kind. I look up to the top of this domed building. Each floor has a curved escalator. You ride, get off, and walk to the next one. At the rooftop is a stained-glass window. Shops line the circle, fancy shops with pricey tags.
My damp hand leaves marks on the rails of the escalator. I ride up and walk the circle to the next curved escalator, up again and again until I reach Nordstrom on the top floor.
I walk deftly inside and through the store. Jewelry cases gleam in the store lights. I reach the other side of the store and find the café.
I look around the restaurant, until I see a table with the arrogant Norris sitting in the back. There’s a sneer on his face I recognize as a brutish, nasty motherfucker. I hate him on first sight.
As I walk into the restaurant, I hear him snarl to a scared little rabbit-waiter. The poor guy, dressed in a Nordstrom T-shirt, grimaces.
“Aren’t you going to ask me if I want anything?” I hear his voice as he asks the server. It’s a repulsive sound, and the poor waiter runs the other way. I shake my head and think the dude must never really run across anyone as vicious.
Finally, I walk over and pull out a chair to take a seat opposite from this vile asshole.
“Let’s just get to the point, Norris. Why the fuck did you take Alex?” I growl. I can’t help myself, he’s a foul human being. I pray we can cut a deal, but I’m still in the dark. I want to kick the shit out of this monster, but I know I have to control myself.
“Aww, you care about her.” He laughs a repulsive laugh that leaves me cold. I gag just thinking about him touching her. I don’t answer, just stare at him, waiting for him to get to the point. If he does touch her, he’s going to have to answer to me. I’ll make him pay.
“I have her and you know it. So, let’s see how much she means to you. I need a favor.” He sneers again.
“Why didn’t you just ask? Why go through all this?” My jaw clenches and I hold tightly to the chair.
“This is more fun, don’t you think, Jack?” His snarky laugh makes
my stomach churn.
Norris is dressed in dark clothes, jeans rolled up with sneakers peeking out. I think they’re Vans? He wears a dark hoodie that’s zipped up. This is the Cribs’ powerhouse? The dude up at the top of their organization? I know one thing for sure, I‘ll never look at another hoodie the same way again, not after today.
He's relaxed, kicked back in his chair, looking like the sleazy motherfucker that he is. No one’s sitting close by. I’m sure it’s intentional.
“It’s a modern world we live in, Jack. All these cute little gismos, right? You want to see my newest?” Norris reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell, then he puts it up under my nose. “My new toy. This is a live feed of your girl. You can see she’s unharmed.” I look at Alex, and my heart freezes, I can’t pull in a breath. Fuck, she’s tied up tight to a radiator and I see her on the cement floor. Her teeth are chattering and her fingers look blue. I can almost feel how cold it must be in there. She looks like she’s freezing. I see she’s bleeding from her wrists. My heart stutters right there inside my chest. This moment is surreal.
My fucking god! I’m going to kill him for real. But I have to stay focused right now and pull my attention away from the phone.
“What do you want?” I snarl. I want to shout, but I whisper talk instead. I don’t want to fuck this up, but I’m terrified for her.
“See? I have something you want, and you, my good friend, have something I want. Let's trade.” What the fuck is he talking about? I want to snatch him off his seat and throw him to the ground. But I hold myself back. I know I need to stop reacting to this asshole. I want to punch him in his greasy face, and it takes everything in me to stop from plucking him off that chair of his that he’s tilting back on and from pounding him into a sack of bones.
“Okay, okay, I see you’re not in a joking mood. Tsk tsk, that Alex must be a sweet fuck.” He laughs again, this guy. What is he, the Joker now? I saw that movie Joker—that dude was all kinds of messed up, and this dude seems like he’s messed up too. “She must have a magic pussy,” dude adds.
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