by Lisa Oliver
“What if I didn’t want to be shared? Or I didn’t want you to draw blood? Or I didn’t want my eyes covered or stuff like that? Would we have to have a contract for that?”
Roger shook his head, tamping down his spike of anger at the realization that Cam still didn’t understand he would never be shared. The two men were mated. Roger would never want anyone else, and neither would Cam. But apparently Cam hadn’t got that mating memo.
“No, little wolf, we wouldn’t need a contract, because we can talk about those things,” Roger said when he knew he was in control again. “In the first place, I would kill anyone that laid a hand on you sexually. You’re my mate and no one has the right to even approach you for sex. Likewise, I won’t want anyone else but you ever again. I can’t get a hard on for anyone else, and I wouldn’t want to. Mates are faithful to each other always, so no we don’t need a contract for that.”
“I didn’t like the way that little twink in the office was winking at you. It made me feel angry,” Cam admitted in a low voice, his face flushed with embarrassment.
“I know, little wolf, and that is perfectly understandable between shifters,” Roger assured him. “I didn’t like Sebastian flirting with you and wanted to rip his eyes out for looking at you. It’s called jealousy, and it is totally normal for us to feel that way now we are mated to each other. Once you’ve been introduced to the pack, then the subs will know I am off limits and I don’t plan on going anywhere without you for quite some time, so we will be fine.”
“Okay.”
Hmm, not a resounding endorsement, but Roger would take what he could get. Again, it was the trust angle rearing its ugly head, but in time Roger hoped that Cam would understand just how important he was, and that Roger definitely wouldn’t be taking any other sub up on his offer. The thought of sharing Cam with anyone at the club made him so angry he could cheerfully shred the next person that looked at his mate the wrong way, so Cam’s feelings, even as a submissive wolf, were understandable.
“The other things you were talking about,” Roger said, picking up the thread of their conversation again, “are limits and they are something that a Dom and sub talk about before they ever have a scene. We’re mates, so in theory we only need to have the conversation once, but it is an important part of the lifestyle. But because we are mates, it is something we can change or modify at any time. Do you know the difference between a hard limit and a soft limit?”
Cam shook his head. Then his eyes widened. “Is it like the difference between getting a spanking and someone using a whip on you?”
Roger smiled again. His mate was too cute and Roger loved how he was really trying to learn. That was an important skill in any part of life, even more so as a submissive.
“No, little wolf, not exactly. A hard limit is something that you would definitely never do and don’t even want to try. It wouldn’t matter how much I might want to do that thing, I wouldn’t do it, if it was one of your hard limits.”
“Not even if it was something you really liked?”
“The purpose of a scene precious, is for both people to get pleasure out of it,” Roger said, pulling Cam closer. He just loved the feel of Cam’s body against his, and the fact that the boy was naked again magnified his feelings. “If you don’t want something done to you, and I do it, then you won’t be happy. I wouldn’t ever do anything to you that would make you uncomfortable, or give you too much pain. I’m a Dom, not a sadist and from a few things that you have said I am guessing you’re a submissive not a masochist.”
“There’s a difference?”
Roger stifled his grin in Cam’s hair. “Yes, there is a difference, but we can have that conversation another day. How about you tell me some of the things you don’t like having done to you at all. Those will be hard limits that I will respect.”
Roger listened carefully as Cam outlined the things he didn’t like, that had obviously happened to him before. As expected pain and blood play were two big things, as with some of the more fetish elements of the BDSM lifestyle. Water sports and scat play were two common examples. Cam also seemed to have a problem with sensory deprivation, but after a bit of discussion, it seemed that was another trust issue. In his past experiences Cam was always too scared when he was blindfolded or had to wear a hood, because he never knew what was going to happen to him. Between some D/s couples that could be an erotic part of a scene, but Cam had never trusted Donoghue and couldn’t know that.
There were also a number of things that Cam had never heard of. Sounds for example, edging, floggers as opposed to whipping, enemas in a scene or any medical equipment, chastity devices (Roger figured Cam would have never needed them with Donoghue), or any form of rope play. In a way Roger was pleased that Donoghue had been a sadist with a limited imagination. The man had got off on inflicting pain, and drawing blood, but there was so much more that Cam had never experienced, that Roger could have a lot of fun introducing him too.
By the time they had finished talking, Roger’s stomach was grumbling and he was sure that Cam would have been equally hungry. It was time to head down to the dining room and start his mate’s acclimatization into the Bound and Bonded club.
Chapter Fourteen
Keeping his head down, his body tucked against Roger’s Cam tried to make himself invisible as they walked through the club and into the dining area. This was the first time Cam had been exposed to so many wolf shifters since he had been driven out from his home pack. Despite Pearson’s adamant assertions earlier that day, that no one would treat him badly, Cam felt as though there was a huge neon sign pulsing above his head, screaming “Omega Wolf” in bright flashing letters. He knew his scent in human form marked him as surely as his bright white fur when he was a wolf.
For a moment Cam was tempted to use his safeword, to get Roger to take him back to their rooms, but he stopped himself before he made a fool of himself. He knew from watching subs at Donoghue’s club that a sub only used a safeword when they truly couldn’t cope with things anymore – when they’d reached the limits of their endurance. Cam having a private freak out session in his head, after spending six years thinking that all wolves were out to kill him, did not constitute being at the limit of what he could take. He was stronger than that, he reminded himself. And besides, he knew without a doubt that Roger would never let anything happen to him.
Roger, who even now was ushering him into a booth and then sliding in beside him, draping his arm over Cam’s shoulders. From what Cam could see the booth was semi-private and he was glad that Roger hadn’t made them sit at one of the tables he noticed as they had walked through the room. That would have left him feeling far too exposed.
“How you feeling, my little wolf? It’s a nice place isn’t it?” Damn his mate for sounding so happy and relaxed, Cam thought as he dutifully lifted his head and looked around. It was a nice room – black leather and wood furnishings, a soft carpet underfoot that must have been a devil to keep clean. The booth back was high enough that Cam’s head could lean back on it if he wished, although Roger was taller and could probably be seen.
“So is there anything you don’t like to eat, or can’t eat? Any food allergies?”
Cam shook his head. He hadn’t had the time to explain to his mate that he was always hungry. How he’d had to steal food in his pack just to stay alive, and that things hadn’t gotten any better on the streets, or when he was with Donoghue. He wasn’t about to bring something so depressing when Roger clearly wanted them to have a nice normal evening.
“Good evening Master Roger, what can I get you and your companion this evening.” A bright chirpy voice sounded to the side of Cam and he looked up to see the sub who had winked at Roger in the Alpha’s office earlier. The boy was still dressed in nothing but the shortest leather shorts that Cam had ever seen, and Cam had an uncontrollable urge to slash that perfect body and wipe that cheeky smile right off of the boy’s face. All too aware of the scars that covered his back, the last thing Cam needed to
be faced with over dinner was a perfectly formed twink with the hots for his mate.
“Hi Nate, my mate and I will have the chef’s special followed by two helpings of fudgy ice-cream cake, thank you.”
Cam looked up and saw that Roger didn’t have his happy face on anymore. If anything he looked positively stern. It seemed his astute mate had caught the sneer in Nate’s tone and taken offence to it, much like Cam had. Okay, that probably shouldn’t make him feel any better, but it did. Just a bit.
“Your mate?” Nate was working his mouth as though he desperately wanted to say something, but couldn’t get the words out. There were tears in his eyes and his whole body crumpled so quickly Cam thought he would fall to his knees.
“You said you never wanted a mate,” Nate whispered. “Said you always wanted to play the field, that you needed variety and that you would never settle down.”
“Things change when you find your true mate, Nate. You know that. Now I’d like you to get our meal please, or do I need to find someone else to serve us this evening?”
“You always find someone else,” Nate yelled as Cam sat frozen with shock. “You’ve been with most of the subs in this club, but you always came back to me. Me! I love you, damn it. Now you’re fucking mated, to this…this pathetic skin and bones reject?” He pointed a wavy arm in Cam’s general direction.
In a flash Roger was on his feet growling, his whole body shaking as though he was fighting his shift.
“Don’t you DARE speak about my mate in such a way. You bounce up to me like I owe you something, spouting off about love when we’ve had nothing more than a few scenes. You upset what was supposed to be a quiet romantic dinner with my new mate and then you have the nerve to insult him? Cam has got more class, more strength in his little finger than you have in your entire body. Apologize immediately or I’ll have you banished. Fuck banishment. I should fucking rip your throat out!”
“Roger, don’t. Look at me,” Cam said, placing his hand on Roger’s arm and forcing his mate to look at him. Roger was still shaking, but the look on his face softened slightly as Cam looked at him calmly.
“You’ve already upset the boy more than you realize. You can’t banish him as well. That’s not fair.” Cam kept his voice low, his eyes fixed on Roger, willing him to relax. Inside he was hurting, hating what Nate had said about all of the men his mate had been with over the years, while he had been in a living hell. But bringing any of that up now was pointless. Nate couldn’t help the way he felt and Cam didn’t want any boy punished for something he couldn’t control.
Out of the corner of his eye, Cam saw a big man come over and pick Nate up off the floor, taking him away. Another man that Cam hadn’t met stood quietly to the side of the booth, clearly waiting for Roger to control himself. After what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute, Roger visibly tried to pull himself together and sat down in a rush, pulling Cam into his arms, muttering something into his neck.
“I’m so sorry…never pledged myself to anyone…boys all knew the score…but I always knew about you…and you had to go through…while I…fuck, can you ever forgive me.”
Roger’s words were full of anguish, babbled and whispered into his neck. Cam struggled just to hear him. But he got the general gist. Roger had an attack of the guilts. Guilty that he had known they were mates ten years before when they first met. Yet he’d lived his life, which apparently included plenty of sex with the willing subs in the club Cam was now a part of, while Cam had struggled to survive. If the shoe had been on the other foot, Cam guessed he would have felt guilty too.
Not having a clue what to say, Cam stroked Roger’s hair and down his arms, soothing, repetitive movements, refusing to look at anyone or anything else. He knew the other diners would have heard the ruckus – you didn’t need a wolf’s enhanced hearing to catch the load of yelling that had been going on. He didn’t want to see the look of judgment on stranger’s faces. Nate was right about one thing. He was skinny, and he probably did look pathetic in his borrowed clothes that were all miles too big for him. But for better or worse, Roger had claimed him and Cam was going to hang onto that like the lifeline it was.
“Oh fuck,” Roger said at last when he pulled his face out of Cam’s neck. “This was not how I wanted this meal to go. I am so sorry. Did you want to get some room service in our apartment, or…”
“I heard you say something about fudgy ice-cream cake,” Cam said with a small smile.
“Yes I did,” Roger said, turning to the big man that was still loitering by the booth. “Brutus, can we have our order please? Two Chef’s specials followed by two fudgy ice-cream cakes for me and my mate, and maybe a couple of house beers as well.”
“Sure Roger,” Brutus’s smile was wide and friendly as though none of the upset had ever happened. “But, I’ve…er…I smell your mate is an Omega wolf. Could you, would you mind introducing me? I’ve never met one before? I know how special they are and well, I’m kinda stunned we have one in our pack now. You’re a lucky man.”
“I know I am.” A shadow of Roger’s cocky grin had returned as he looked at Cam.
“Cam, precious, this is Master Brutus, he’s the head of the dining area and partly responsible for coming up with all of the delicious meals we can have here. Brutus, this is Cameron Slater, my mate and since this morning the new Omega for the Washington Pack.”
Cam smiled at Brutus, who gave him a wide grin back, but didn’t try to touch him, which Cam was glad about. “I pretty much have the kitchen staff at my beck and call, Cam. So if this big lug is ever too busy to feed you, you just come on down here and see me and I’ll make sure you have what you need. Anytime.”
Cam flicked a look at Roger – was it okay to reply? Donoghue hadn’t liked him talking to anybody, ever. Roger gave a quick nod, understanding what Cam was asking.
“Thank you Sir,” Cam said respectfully. “I appreciate that. As you can see I have a bit of building up to do, body wise.” He ran a quick hand down his body as though it illustrate what he meant.
“The kitchen is open 24/7. We’ll have you right in no time.” Giving a quick nod to Roger, Brutus went off, probably to put their food order in.
/~/~/~/~/
Roger couldn’t believe he had been such a stupid idiot. The situation with Nate had totally blindsided him, and he was still reeling from the shock of it. Sure, he knew Nate fancied him, but Nate played with a lot of single Masters. It wasn’t as though he’d ever said anything about loving him. Way to go, the stupid boy chose to share that with his mate sitting right next to him. If Nate had approached him in private, then Roger could have handled the situation a lot better.
And then there was the guilt, which had slammed into him like a tank. Sure he’d told his mate he hadn’t been a virgin when they met but when Nate had screamed at just how many men he’d been with, and all in the pack Roger had wanted him to be a part of, Roger hadn’t imagined the hurt that had flashed across Cam’s lovely face. A two-pronged hurt because no wolf shifter liked to hear of his mate being with another person sexually, and the added bonus that while Roger was having his fun, Cam was doing anything but. Roger didn’t know what was worse.
It also hadn’t missed his notice, that when he’d asked Cam for forgiveness, the man hadn’t replied. Not with words. Sure he’d been affectionate, sharing his touch so that Roger’s wolf would settle the fuck down. But he hadn’t said anything except to Brutus and didn’t those simple words just tear Roger a new asshole. His mate had believed Nate. Not only the harsh words about his sexual activities, but also Nate’s rude description of his mate’s physical appearance.
For the first time in his life, Roger felt unsure about what to do. Brutus brought over their main course, and Roger indicated that Cam should eat, although he didn’t want Cam moving off his lap. Cam ate one handed, his other hand still around Roger’s neck, and Roger did the same as his other hand was firmly around Cam’s waist. Thank god for stew and bread. Roger wasn’t sure wh
y he needed the connection, but he did.
All through the meal, Roger turned things over in his mind. Despite being upset, Cam had spoken up for Nate, hadn’t been afraid of Roger at all, even when he was in kill mode. Even now, Cam sat on his lap like a statue, simply doing what Roger wanted until Roger told him to do something else. He was just…there. Not making any demands, not asking for explanations, not looking for reassurance like any other sub would be doing. Roger knew he had to do something. It’s just for the first time ever, he wasn’t sure what.
“So,” he said slowly, feeling like he was walking into an emotional minefield as they waited for dessert to arrive. “I know Pearson won’t want you leaving the club anytime soon, until this business with Donoghue is sorted. But I was thinking, we could do some shopping online, if you wanted. Get you some clothes and things to make you feel more at home. What do you think?”
“Whatever you think is best,” Cam said to his chest. Roger cupped Cam’s jaw and brought his head up. Yep, Cam was upset. Those eyes said it all. Unfortunately Roger caught the emotion, but it didn’t give him any indication as to what his mate was thinking.
“I want to know what you think,” he said softly. “Would you like to have some clothes, maybe books, a phone, a computer? What sort of things do you like to do?”
Cam shrugged and his face went pink. Roger waited him out, knowing that Cam had to learn to speak his mind and that type of thing wasn’t going to happen overnight. Although his little mate had been doing so well up until Roger had decided to take them both out to dinner.
“I don’t have any money,” Cam said finally. “I was homeless and living on the streets when Donoghue found me, and it wasn’t as though the man ever paid me once he took me in, or let me have a job.”
“I have enough money for both of us. If money wasn’t an issue, what sorts of things would you like?”