Back to the Start (Dangerous Love Book 4)

by Elle Keating

  The letters. Fresh panic bloomed in her chest. What would he think if he knew that she hadn’t read his letters? That she had kept all forty-eight letters but didn’t have the strength or courage to read what he had to say? She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat when he tucked her into his arms and rolled on top of her. His eyes bore into hers.

  “I promised you that I could wait, that I wouldn’t pressure you to tell me what you’re keeping from me. But it won’t be without difficulty, Morgan.” His cock settled between her thighs, but he didn’t seek entry. His eyes drifted to her mouth. He caressed her cheek and then trailed his fingers over her bottom lip. His touch was gentle at first, softly brushing against it. But then his eyes darkened and he applied pressure and swiped his thumb back and forth across her lip. “I want to wipe him away, the man you exchanged vows with and who betrayed you.” His touch was rough and possessive, but it was the pain in his eyes that broke her heart.

  Would that anguish in his gaze ever fade?

  He leaned in and just when she thought he was going to kiss her, he said, “There will be no trace of him. I’ll make certain of it.” With one stabbing thrust, he slammed into her and she groaned at the sudden intrusion. His mouth came over hers and he kissed her. It wasn’t sweet or tender but demanding and full of rage. He took her hard, his cock pumping into her with such force that she thought she was going to split in two. “You’re mine. This is mine. And I’m going to mark what’s mine.”

  She could have been disturbed by his words. But she wasn’t. She needed this.

  “Yes,” she said.

  He flipped her onto her stomach and lifted her until she was on all fours. He grabbed her by the hips and pushed into her from behind on a moan that made her even wetter. He expelled his anger, his pain, his desperation into her. She wanted ownership of it all; she wanted him to unleash it on her. She was the source of his fury, the spark that had started the fire now blazing in his eyes. “Fuck me, Jake. Harder.”

  He rolled his hips, causing his cock to hit that hidden spot deep within and she jolted at the sensation. She cried out as he gave her what she wanted. Hard and fast. He showed no mercy. He reached around and found her clit. He flicked the wet, swollen bud with expert precision and she shuddered. Her knees ached, her arms shook as he rode her. But he didn’t stop. He continued to slam into her, hitting her G-spot and massaging her clit. This was the roughest sex she had ever had. He pushed her torso down, causing her ass to lift higher into the air. At that angle he sank into her deeper, dragging his cock against her sensitive front wall. Her vision blurred and she came around him. Her orgasm pulsed through her core and to every aching extremity. He gripped her ass cheeks and followed her. Threads of semen shot into her. “No one else will ever touch you,” he growled as her pussy drained him. She was in the middle of catching her breath when he rolled her onto her back and locked her in between his arms. He was panting and worn ragged like she was, but that feral look in his eyes was gone. “I’m… I’m sorry… I just needed… ”

  She knew what he needed. He needed to erase those years she had spent without him and in the arms of another man. She cut him off with a kiss. He kissed her back, but she felt his apprehension even as she opened wider to let his tongue enter. She had seen the worry in his eyes as he hovered over her.

  She ended the kiss and took his face in her hands. “I know what you need. But I have always worn your mark. It attached itself to my soul years ago. No man, not even the passing of time, can remove it.” His eyes welled up, but he didn’t cry. He didn’t have to. Because within the next few seconds her hands fell away and she spilled enough tears for the two of them. “I know I hurt you… and I’m so sorry… so fucking sorry.” She cried harder. Louder. Uninhibited. She wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed, rather she felt more alive in that moment than she had in eight years. With tears streaming down her face and her heart exposed, she looked up at him and said, “I’ll understand if you can never let me into your heart again.”

  His eyes softened, leaving behind only a few flecks of worry and a smidge of pain. He shifted all his weight and lay on his side. He propped himself up on his elbow and rested his hand over her heart. Her heart pounded beneath his fingertips. Jake removed his hand, leaned over and kissed her where his fingers had been. He steered clear of her erect nipples and left a trail of feather-like kisses over her heart before laying his head on her chest. She cradled his head with both hands, but he quickly took her right hand and placed it over his heart. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t tell her that he had forgiven her or that everything was going to be okay from here on out. But what he did offer her in that moment was the one thing she needed… hope.

  ***

  “I definitely don’t want the details, but is it safe to ask if you two are together?”

  Telling Carina about the incredible sex she was having was not going to happen. But her best friend did deserve an update and reassurance that Morgan was going to do everything in her power not to fuck things up again. “Yeah, I think so.” Images of the night before flashed through her mind. She felt her cheeks grow warm as she remembered how he took her, how he’d claimed her as his. She changed her answer and said with confidence, “Yep, we’re together.”

  Carina stopped stretching and ran over and hugged Morgan. “I knew it! You two are finally on the same page. My parents are going to be so happy and your mom… she’s going to flip the fuck out!”

  Morgan giggled and stepped out of Carina’s embrace. “You think your parents will be okay with this?”

  “They have considered you a McGinnis since you were five years old. They are going to be ecstatic!”

  “I hope so,” Morgan said as she zipped up her hoodie.

  “When are you going to tell your mom?”

  Ken had perfect timing. Her mom and her soon-to-be fiancé had just left for their trip to Europe, giving Morgan some time to think about how she was going to tell her mom that she and Jake had made their way back to each other. It wasn’t like she was scared to tell her; she knew her mom loved Jake. But what ate at her, what she feared was that look she might get, or the warning she might receive from her mom. Her mom knew about the miscarriage and some of the struggles she had gone through afterward. What kind of advice would her mom give her? Would she support this new relationship?

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Ken just whisked my mom off to Europe… where he is going to propose!”

  Carina screamed. Not just a little ‘ah’ or ‘yip’ but an honest to goodness scream. “That is so romantic! Does Aunt Day have any idea he’s going to pop the question?”

  “Nope. Not a clue,” Morgan said, smiling. She pictured her mom ascending the stairs of an old Irish castle and just as she reached the top, she would turn and see Ken on bended knee with his heart on his sleeve. “Ken is so good to her. He absolutely adores her and has no problem showing it.”

  “She deserves to be happy… and so do you, Morgan.”

  Morgan smiled, but she wasn’t up for any more discussion. Her emotions were all over the place right now. She took a deep breath and asked, “So, are you ready?”

  “I guess we’ll find out.” Carina did a few more lunges and then ran in place for a few seconds. “I haven’t gone running for a while. Josh has kind of kept me hostage.”

  “Um, from that smirk on your face, I don’t think you were opposed to him locking you away.” Carina cleared her throat and made a feeble attempt to be composed… and not all hot and bothered. But then a little chuckle escaped her full lips and Morgan knew she had her.

  “Come on. We’ll take it slow. Where should we go?” Morgan asked.

  A slow smile spread across her friend’s beautiful face. “How much time do we have?”

  “I don’t have to be at work until ten.”

  “Great. Then I’ll lead the way.”

  Morgan followed Carina through the streets of Philadelphia. She was grateful that Carina wanted to take things slow. Although Morgan was in d
ecent shape, keeping up with her exercise routine even after she had stopped playing field hockey, she hadn’t set foot on a treadmill or run for pleasure since she moved from Boston. She would definitely be feeling the consequences of her three-week-long hiatus from exercise tomorrow. Morgan pushed those thoughts aside and decided to enjoy the autumn air and her best friend’s company instead. Which turned out to be a fantastic choice. With each city block they covered, Morgan felt her fatigue from the active night… and morning… with Jake leave her. Even the ache between her thighs disappeared, leaving her with only her memories to remind her how hard Jake had taken her.

  The sound of her footsteps pounding the pavement, that alluring rhythm, entranced her and she found herself thinking about this morning. So much had happened, so much emotion had been shed. He had taken her savagely, with a ferocity that she had never seen before. And she had allowed it. She had wanted his rage, to give him whatever he needed, to help him cope. But no matter how hard he had gripped her body or pounded into her, she knew he cared for her so much that it pained him. She knew she shouldn’t get caught up in the fact that he didn’t tell her he loved her, but her teenage insecurities had a tendency to bite her in the ass at the most inopportune times.

  “Does this look familiar?”

  Carina’s voice sliced through Morgan’s thoughts and she stared ahead. A massive set of steps lay before her and she gulped at the challenge. “I think Rocky Balboa was in much better shape than I am when he attempted this.”

  “Are you not up for it? Should we turn around?” Carina asked, taunting her. Carina even solidified the charade by tugging on her arm and forcing her away from the Philadelphia Art Museum’s famous steps.

  “Hell no!” Morgan yanked her arm free and climbed the first few steps. “You’re such a little brat,” Morgan barked. Carina laughed as she matched Morgan step for step.

  Against her joints’ wishes, Morgan continued to climb. Although her lungs burned, she didn’t stop until she reached the top. Like Rocky, the southpaw from South Philly, she waved her hands over her head and then pretended to box. Carina also threw a few punches at the air as they reenacted the classic movie scene. They both fell into a fit of laughter as they pranced around looking like two tourists. But they didn’t care. It felt good to let go, to not give a shit what people thought.

  Exhausted and still out of breath, Carina asked, “How about we walk home?”

  “And stop for coffee?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Carina said through labored pants.

  Morgan linked arms with her friend as they started their trek to the nearest coffee shop. “Do you have any idea how much I love being able to do this? That I can just pick up the phone and within minutes we can go jogging together and have coffee?”

  “Nope, not a clue,” Carina said.

  “You’re such a smartass,” Morgan said.

  “And that will never change,” Carina said, resting her head on Morgan’s shoulder.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Jake

  “Fuck, man. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but you are killin’ it out there, even more than usual.”

  Tony peeled off his shoulder pads and tossed them onto the locker room floor. Jake detected a slight wince as Tony bent down to unlace his cleats. Coach had worked them hard today in preparation for this week’s big game. There was a lot riding on it and everyone on the team was feeling the pressure… and the aches and pains. Jake’s shoulder was also pestering him a little, but he knew his body. A little ice and maybe some tender loving care from his girl and the ache in his arm would be forgotten.

  His girl.

  Jake loved the sound of that. He was loving a lot of things lately. Like coming home from practice and finding Morgan cooking in his kitchen. Like flopping on the couch in front of the television and falling asleep with Morgan in his arms. And of course, his personal favorite, waking up with her after they had fucked well into the night. That would never get old. He wondered how he had functioned without her for so long.

  “You have my girl to thank for that,” Jake said, removing his own pads.

  “Oh, I’m lovin’ that sweet honey of yours. You better keep that one around. Playoffs are coming up and my own honeys want to see yours truly win another Super Bowl,” Tony said, flexing his pecs. Tony could be a manwhore and a bit of a showboat for the cameras, but he was actually a pretty nice guy.

  Jake knew that Tony was just playing with him, but he couldn’t help but set him straight. “Morgan is it for me.”

  Tony stopped untying his shoe and looked him in the eye. “You serious, man?”

  “There will be no more honeys for me,” Jake said, not even attempting to hide his growing grin.

  “Well, shit. Good for you, man.” Jake couldn’t dismiss what sounded like awe or maybe admiration in Tony’s voice. But seconds later Tony killed the moment and shouted to a locker room full of guys, “Just more honeys for me, that’s all. You hear that, world? Jake McGinnis is off the market!”

  “You’re such a douchebag,” Jake said, giving Tony a shot in the arm.

  “A single douchebag who needs to continue to spread his wild oats,” Tony said, peering at his naked wrist. He pretended to read the time on his nonexistent watch. “I best be hittin’ the showers… you know, for all those honeys you won’t be getting anymore.”

  Jake chuckled and said, “Get the fuck out.”

  Tony laughed and headed to the shower. Jake was just about to disrobe completely and get his own shower when he heard his phone buzz. He opened his locker and found his phone on the top shelf, right where he had left it. He read the text and smiled. Morgan could be such a naughty little girl when she wanted to be. He loved that side of her.

  But he also loved her sweet side. That girl held him as he drifted off to sleep, talked to him about her day and the dogs she got to kiss, and listened to him as he rattled on about the team he was going to face each week. Jake had watched her seamlessly shift from one persona to the other and back again. She captivated him, motivated him, made him want to be better at not just football, but everything. She also taught him what the word patience truly meant. It had been over four weeks since he’d told her that he would wait for her. That he wouldn’t pressure her to tell him what she was keeping from him. Although it was difficult knowing that there was something in her life that she wasn’t comfortable sharing with him yet, he knew that whatever it was they would work through it. Because nothing was going to take her away from him again. Jake responded to Morgan’s text with one that would hopefully set those silky panties of hers on fire and hit the showers.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Morgan

  “Dr. Kelley, what’s wrong with him?”

  Morgan placed Duke on the exam table and watched the pup sway from side to side as if he was intoxicated. He had vomited twice in the waiting room and from the looks of it, he was about to do it again. Morgan watched the poor little guy shake and then hunch over as he dry heaved over her table.

  “Kendra, did Duke get into anything this morning? The garbage? Something in the yard, perhaps?”

  Kendra crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “I don’t think so. He seemed fine when he woke me up at the crack of freaking dawn for his walk. The little bastard has no respect for my sleep.”

  Morgan was hoping to hear some nervous laughter follow her remark, the kind someone utters when they are scared and trying to make light of a heavy situation. But Kendra didn’t seem upset or frightened that Duke was obviously sick. She looked pissed off that a puppy she had voluntarily adopted was disrupting her life. Which drove Morgan fucking crazy. “Wait, during his walk this morning he started to drink from a puddle on the street. I dragged him away, but he may have gotten a few licks in.”

  Morgan kept one hand on Duke as she reached for the intercom. “Reagan, Allison, I need a consult.” She released the button and steadied Duke with both hands. “It hasn’t rained for days. Did the p
uddle have a color to it? Was it oily?”

  “I… I… don’t remember.”

  “Okay. Can you tell me when you went for your walk?”

  “It was early...around eight o’clock, I think.”

  Reagan came in and within seconds she seemed to understand the gravity of the situation. “What do you need, Morgan?”

  “Possible antifreeze ingestion. But we’re within the timeframe.”

  “So, bloodwork, urine and an EG test kit?”

  Morgan nodded and Reagan left to retrieve the items.

  “What… what’s an EG test kit?” Kendra asked.

  “This test can show if Duke ingested antifreeze, but only if he has consumed the toxin within the last twelve hours. From what you just told me, it looks like Duke falls in that window of time.”

  “Okay. Do what you need to do, I guess,” Kendra said, shrugging her shoulders. “But is this going to take awhile? I have a nail appointment in an hour.”

  Was this woman for real?

  Morgan ignored Kendra and put all her attention on Duke. She quickly retrieved the samples and handed them off to Reagan. Duke’s condition seemed to deteriorate with each passing minute. Morgan hoped that antifreeze was not the culprit. Even in her short career, she had seen too many dogs succumb to the sweet and enticing poison. But the moment Reagan entered the exam room, Morgan knew. Reagan’s worried expression told her that Duke’s results had come back positive for antifreeze.

  Morgan injected Duke with the antidote and told Kendra that Duke would need to stay overnight, possibly for a few days. “Christ!” Kendra said. “He’s going to spoil everything!” Kendra gathered her purse and coat.

  Morgan had no idea what Kendra meant by that and frankly she didn’t have time to deal with Kendra’s little tantrum. “Kendra, Duke is very sick. Even with the antidote flooding his system, he may not make it.” Antifreeze was deadly. Even in small doses the toxin could wreak havoc on a dog’s liver and kidneys, causing them to shut down. Duke would need around-the-clock care, including intravenous fluids and drugs to stop any further metabolizing of the toxin.