It’s the biggest battle I’ve ever had to fight. My want to give in to him, to this, to us, is so strong. The pull from the tether between us never cut; our rope was just extended.
“Stop,” I finally whisper when his lips hover over mine.
“You sure you want me to stop, baby?” he asks. His minty breath fans across my lips, and my tongue pokes out to lick them, wanting to taste him. The tip of my tongue barely grazes his lip, but it’s enough to send a jolt of electricity through us. “Fuck, Harper,” he groans, pulling me closer to him—if that’s even possible at this point. He lets my arm behind my back free, his hand sliding to the top of my ass instead.
Without thinking, my hands move, gliding up his arms to his shoulders. He’s filled out in the years since we’ve been together. No surprise really, he is a twenty-five-year-old man now. The scruff on his face is thicker but still trimmed neatly on his chiseled features.
I try to turn my head away from him, but he’s still got me locked in his grasp. His hold softens enough for me to pull back slightly and look up into his eyes. Those green eyes that I used to love to stare into are the same, yet hold so much more behind them now.
Only able to handle looking into his eyes for so long, my gaze drops, and I see a tattoo peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. I try to quickly think back to when I last saw him. He was wearing a T-shirt, but the room was dimly lit and I was too emotional to remember if he had any ink showing then. I want to ask him about it. I want to see what it is that he has permanently etched on his skin, but I know I’ve lost the right to know those things about him.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” I say weakly, my eyes still drawn away from his face. “This was a mistake.” I try to push away, but he still holds me tight. Looking up at him again, tears burn in my eyes. “Please, Jett. Let me go.”
He stares at me a second before he says, “I’ve tried, but you keep coming back.”
A tear spills from my eye, falling over my lips. Jett bends and softly kisses it away. My eyes close, wanting to remember what it feels like to have his lips on mine one last time, even if it is in one final chaste goodbye kiss.
“I need to go,” I say pushing away, and this time he lets me out of his hold. Moving out from between his legs, I cautiously step toward the door, broken glass crunching under my Vans with each one.
I’m a few steps away from the door when he grabs my arm again and pulls me against him, this time his lips crashing into mine, and this time I give in. My gasp opens me up enough for him to slide his tongue inside, and we collide. That alone doesn’t just make a spark; it causes a fucking inferno inside me.
My arms wrap around his shoulders, my hands in his hair, pulling him down to me. I need more, always more. One hand on the back of my head and the other gripping tightly on my ass has me pressed up against him again. I moan as his pant-covered cock rubs against my stomach and his tongue licks at my lips. I bite his lip, then soothe it with my tongue before kissing him back.
We kiss long and hard until we’re both breathless. Lips swollen and hearts beating fast, we pull apart and stare.
Longer than we should.
Then, I turn to leave.
Leaving him behind this time.
And he lets me go.
* * *
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I keep muttering to myself, wiping the tears off my face. Quickly, I walk out of The Eli Group office and dive straight into the car waiting to take me back to the airport.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
I was so insanely pissed off at Jett for sending such a thoughtless gift that I drank an entire bottle of wine—at eleven in the morning—and called Gabby to vent. In my day-drunk haze, I, of course, listened to her when she told me to “hijack the jet and go return that motherfucking vase to him.” But I’m sober now and full of regrets. I never should have stepped foot in California, LA, or Jett’s office in Malibu.
Climbing up the stairs of the jet, I throw myself down in one of the seats and pour a glass of champagne before the door is even secured. Closing my eyes, I let the cool bubbles slide down my throat, hoping it’ll quell the heat still coursing through me.
Bringing the back of my hand to my mouth, a sob comes out of me.
I’ve been a fool. All this time I was thinking Jett no longer held any part of me when in reality he still holds my entire heart in his hands. Every part of me still wants him. Even after everything, all the hurt and pain, I still want him to want me.
My fingers brush over my lips. The feel of his thumb sliding over them is still there. The taste of his lips on mine still lingers.
He let me go. He doesn’t want me like he used to. He’s only trying to hurt me like I hurt him. Or maybe I’m a fucking fool and he never actually did want me like I wanted him.
Curling into myself, I lean my head against the seat as we fly back home. I sleep most of the way, exhausted from crying and emotionally drained.
When I wake up, we’re almost back to Wrightsville. I take in a deep inhale and exhale out the negative.
I can move on from this. I will move on from this. Just like I have every other time he’s wrecked me and left me in pieces.
* * *
Flicking on the light inside my foyer, I drop my purse and kick off my shoes. I need a shower and another twenty hours of sleep.
“Where did you go?”
I jump and scream before turning to see Teddy sitting in the dark on my couch.
“You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here sitting in the dark?” I ask with a hand over my erratically beating heart as I walk toward him.
“Answer the damn question, Harper,” he says with his head hanging low, sounding defeated.
“I went to see Gabby,” I lie.
He lifts his head and stares at me for a long second. “Gabby isn’t in California.”
I swallow over the dry lump in my throat. Trying to think quickly about how to cover my lie, I reply with another one. “She was in Phoenix and asked if I wanted to meet her in LA for a quick shopping trip.”
He studies me, trying to decide if he believes me or not. I’ve never in my life lied to Teddy before now. I don’t like how it feels or tastes coming out of my mouth, but the truth would destroy him. And selfishly, I can’t handle that right now.
“Next time, will you let me know so I don’t have to learn from someone else that my fiancée flew across the country on short notice? In the company jet,” he says with a small smirk.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize. I mean it more than he knows.
Standing up from his perch on my couch, he walks to me. “You have fun?” he asks before leaning forward to kiss me.
I swallow down the bile turning in my stomach. Hours ago, I was kissing Jett and now Teddy is kissing me so sweetly. I don’t deserve any of his kindness.
“Yeah. Just tired.”
He pulls me in for a hug, kissing me on the head before letting go. “I’ll let you get some rest then.” With a grateful smile, I turn for the stairs. “You didn’t buy anything?” he asks when I reach the first step.
Pausing, I close my eyes. “I did, but they didn’t have it in stock, so they’re going to send it when it comes in.” The added lie slides out too easily.
“I love you, Harper,” he says gently before closing the door behind him. Tears spill down my face at how much damage I did today.
To all of us.
Quickly, I pull out my cell and tap out a text to Gabby, roping her into my lies and betrayal toward my life-long best friend.
Gabby: So… the wedding still on?
Me: As of now, yes.
Gabby: Are you sure?
Me: I’m not sure of anything anymore
Gabby: You can always become my lover.
I laugh at her attempt to defuse my emotions. And even consider it for a minute.
Me: Thanks Gabs. But I’ll stick with the D,
After a long, hot shower, I climb into bed, pop a couple
of sleeping pills, and fall asleep hoping I don’t wake up for days after the clusterfuck that I just created for myself.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Harper
Ignorance.
That’s what I woke up to.
Teddy acted like I hadn’t flown across the country and back in a twenty-four-hour period, knowing full well that I lied to him about meeting Gabby there.
He kissed me and held me and acted as nothing had happened at all. I wasn’t sure if it was for his own peace of mind or the fact that I actually came back, but he moved forward like he just skipped that day entirely. Like it never happened.
But it had. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“I can’t believe you’re making me wear that,” Gabby sneered at the offending taffeta hanging in front of her.
“I didn’t even pick it out,” I grumble, not loving it either. “Vi did,” I add, taking a sip of my champagne.
I got a call from the bridal boutique that the bridesmaids’ dresses had come in and I was due for the final fitting of my own. It was good timing that Gabs was here and not traveling for once and could come with me.
I can’t blame Gabby for not wanting to wear a big puffy dress. It’s not her in the least, and truth be told, it’s not me either. And yet when the girl brings out my dress, it’s twice as puffy as Gabby’s, drowning her under all the layers.
Gabby looks over at me, and maybe it’s the champagne or maybe it’s just because we’re assholes, but we both start to laugh. We laugh so hard we have tears filling our eyes.
“I’m sorry I’m late!” I hear my sister’s voice chime in as she rounds the corner to where we are. “What’s so funny?” she asks slowly, not understanding why we’re bowled over with laughter. I just point to the dresses hanging in front of us as I keep laughing. Her head turns toward the dresses, and confusion is written all over her perfectly contoured face. “I don’t understand. Is something wrong with the dresses? They promised me that everything would be done in time.”
“No.” I wave a hand at her to stop her from yelling at the manager or the poor girl who looks just as confused as my little sister. “They’re fine,” I say, trying to get myself under control. With a sniff and a swipe at the tears under my eyes, I take another drink of my bubbly. “Do you think Teddy will be able to find me in all that?”
Gabby snorts into her freshly filled flute, causing champagne to drip down her glass and hand. I shoot her a look to behave because I know my sister has worked so hard to make everything perfect.
Looking back at Violet, I see her face fall. “You don’t like them?”
I stand and wrap an arm around her shoulders. Leaning my head against her shoulder, I sigh. “They just aren’t me, Vi. It’s not that they aren’t pretty; it’s just not me,” I repeat.
Okay, so maybe I’ve been absent from all the basics of decision-making when it comes to the wedding. I gave my mother and sister the reins to plan everything. Planning a big, fancy wedding just isn’t my thing.
If it were up to me, I’d be barefoot on the beach in a bikini with only a handful of people, the fish taco place serving food while we surfed.
But it’s not up to me. Not with me marrying Theodore Tomlin III. Once I accepted Teddy’s proposal, I was signed up for a big, fancy and elaborate wedding. One that I didn’t know the first thing about planning.
“You haven’t wanted to be involved in any part of the planning, Harper. What was I supposed to do?” Violet asks me, sounding frustrated, and I feel bad that I’ve put it all on her to do.
“I’m sorry. Thank you for all the time you’ve put into everything. I have no doubts that it’ll be beautiful and perfect.” I smile at her.
My little sister and I may be complete opposites in pretty much every way, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less. The fact that I’ve been taking advantage of her kindness to plan everything and not thanking her makes me feel like shit.
“I can have them cut out layers of the skirt if you want,” she suggests.
“Let me see if I can even get into it first and see how it looks.” I laugh, giving her a squeeze.
I shoot Gabby a look that tells her to put the damn dress on. Jumping up from her seat, she walks toward the one assigned to her. “I’m always up for trying new fashion. I just usually show more skin, not less,” she adds, making us chuckle, as we are all aware of how many times she’s gotten in trouble for dressing too scandalously at the office.
The three of us take to a different fitting room with our own associate to help us into our dresses. I can barely see over all the fluff of my dress in the smaller room. Once it’s on, I step out and the associate assigned to me helps me lay the skirt out to its fullness.
I meet Gabby and Vi’s eyes in the mirror. Gabby has a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. But it’s when Vi starts to laugh that I begin to feel better about hating it.
“You look like a snowball,” she laughs. “Okay.” She claps her hands together. “We need to get rid of at least half that skirt. We can do that, right?” she asks the seamstress. “I’m so sorry. It seemed different when I came before, but I forget that I’m taller than you,” she directs toward me.
“Not a problem.” The seamstress nods.
“Can we maybe make them shorter?” I ask cautiously. “Maybe make them all tea length?” I grimace because I know I’m asking a lot for someone who hasn’t cared about any of it until now, exactly one week before the wedding.
“Of course. You’re the bride,” the woman says with a kind smile.
“You’ll be generously compensated for your extra time,” my sister chimes in and winks at me.
Feeling much more like myself when I leave dressed in my boyfriend jeans and tank, I’m happy that this ended up going better than I anticipated. Although it’s still not exactly my dream wedding, I can do this with a smile on my face. It makes me wonder…
“Hey, Vi?”
She turns to look at me before getting into the car waiting for her. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I was just wondering… This isn’t your dream wedding you’re planning, is it? You’re saving things for your own, right?”
Her head dips a little, but she grins. “No, it’s not my dream wedding. But it is going to be spectacular. And I think Teddy will be happy.”
I nod, satisfied with her answer, and wave bye to her.
“You do know she’s crushed on Teddy since she was practically in diapers, right?” Gabby says next to me as we watch her car drive away.
“What? No, she hasn’t. He’s always been like a brother to her.”
“Yeah, you used to say the same thing.” She lifts a knowing brow at me.
“Shut up,” I mumble and push past her. Her laughter fills the air behind me, and I can’t help but smile because she isn’t wrong.
Slinging an arm around my shoulder, she smacks a kiss to my cheek. “You love me.”
“Some days.”
She dramatically gasps and stops walking. “Take it back right now, you bitch!”
Hooking my arm through hers, I pull her down the sidewalk toward my car. “Come on, we’re surfing today.”
“Oh, someone has lots on her mind,” she annoyingly muses.
“Can you give me today? I just want a day on the waves with my best friend.”
She softens, leaning her head on my shoulder. “Sure, babe. Whatever you need.”
“But first… tacos!”
Teddy
I hear the door open and close, signaling that Harper is here. Not looking up from my laptop, I yell out a hello and wait for her to come to me.
She hasn’t fully moved into my place yet, even with the wedding a week away. She said she wanted to keep it special for once we’re husband and wife. Since we spend most nights together at one of our houses anyway, I haven’t fought this one. Seems like a silly thing at this point since she’ll be here full time soon enough.
Her bare feet slap against the hardwood floor a
s she nears. Bending over the back of the couch, she kisses me upside down, her wet hair sticking to my face and dripping all over my computer.
“For fuck’s sake, Harps!” I yell, standing up and holding my MacBook to my chest.
“What’s up your butt?” she asks, looking annoyed at me. Me! Like she didn’t just almost fry my laptop and make me lose all the work I’ve done.
“Why are you dripping wet? You almost ruined my Mac, and now you’re about to ruin my floor too,” I tell her, looking where there’s a puddle of water under her.
“So sorry, your highness. I’ll go back to my peasant house next door,” she fires back, stomping to the door.
“Fuck. Harper! Wait. I’m sorry,” I yell after her.
Turning to face me with a hand on her hip, she says, “You’re being a dick tonight.”
I nod. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m under a lot of pressure with this new contract and with the wedding. It’s a lot at once. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” I reach for her hand and pull her to me, but she stops me with a hand on my chest.
“I’m all wet. It’ll ruin your suit.”
Dropping her hand, I step back. “How’d the fitting go?”
“Fine,” she says, almost bored. “Vi has done so much. We should send her on a trip or something after this is all over.”
My brows draw together in confusion for a second, but I reply with a slow, “Okay.”
“Anyway, Gabs was actually in town, so she came too. It was a good day.”
“You surfed?”
“Smart guy,” she teases with a smirk.
“It’s been a while.”
“Too long. It felt nice to be back on the waves. You should try trading in that fancy suit for a wet suit sometime soon. It’s been a long time since you’ve been out there, too. Longer than me.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I sigh. “You know that was always much more your thing than mine.”
Her hopeful face drops. “Yeah. I guess.”
“Come on, I’ll stop working tonight. We can order in some food.”
I Kissed Her First: A BOUND TOGETHER NOVEL Page 16