“Well, I haven’t yet, Gabs,” I joke.
She and Harper share a look and start to laugh then they both look at Tristan, who just smiles as he takes a drink of his beer. I’m definitely missing something, but I’m not sure if I want to know.
After some chatting, we all decide to hit the dance floor again. By the time we’re all ready to leave, it’s almost three in the morning and we’re practically shutting down the club.
I give Ari a clap on the shoulder in thanks for getting my ass here tonight. Then, I say my goodbyes to Nikki and Noah.
I turn to Gabby to ask where they’re staying tonight, but she just kisses my cheek. “You got her tonight?” I look down at Harper, asking her if this is what she wants, and when she takes my hand in hers, I have my answer.
“Yeah.” I smile at Harper. “I’ve got her.”
“Good,” Gabby says. “We’re wheels up at three tomorrow afternoon. Can you have her there in time?”
Twelve hours.
I have twelve hours with Harper.
“We’ll see you then,” I tell her. I pound knuckles with Tristan, surprised he’s cool with me taking Harper. I’ll question that another day but not right now.
Harper is quiet as she says bye to them and we walk to where the car I called is waiting for us. I help her inside and then climb in after her. I take her hand in mine once we’re on our way. “We don’t have to do this, Harper. I can take you to your hotel if you want.”
“I don’t want that,” she says quietly, looking down at our entwined hands.
“Are you okay?” I ask, tipping her face up to look at me.
She smiles at me, and that smile destroys me and every feeling I’ve tried to hold back for so long. “I’m more than okay.”
“Fuck, Harper. I’ve tried to be an asshole to you, and I just can’t anymore,” I admit.
We don’t have time to say anything else before the car pulls up at my house. Walking inside, I flick on the low lights and toss my keys in the bowl on the table by the door.
“I love you.”
I turn around to look at her. Surely I didn’t hear her right. “What?”
“I have always loved you, Jett. I keep thinking that if I try to hate you for hurting me or keep away from you, I won’t. But then I see you—and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been—it’s like I can finally breathe again. Like my soul knows it’s found its mate again.”
My hands fist at my sides as I stare at the floor. “You can’t say shit like that.”
“I thought we were being honest for once.”
I look up at her, pleading, “You can’t say shit like that and expect me to keep my hands off of you.”
“Who said I wanted you to keep your hands off of me?”
I nod toward her left hand. “That ring on your finger does.”
Lifting her hands, she pulls the diamond ring off her finger and tucks it safely inside her clutch before placing the bag on the small table next to the door. “There.”
I stalk to her, closing the distance between us. My hands pull her into me, and her hands pull just as tightly. I kiss her, hard and deliberate. “If I start, I won’t stop,” I warn.
She pulls away from me, and I wait for her to tell me to take her to the hotel.
Instead, she reaches behind her neck and lets the straps of her dress fall. She pulls her shoes off, and then, I hear the zipper on the back of her dress. In seconds, she’s stepping out of it, leaving her bare before me.
I audibly swallow as my eyes scan over her glorious body. Gone is the teenage girl I knew every inch of before, and in her place is a beautiful woman.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” I walk to stand in front of her, my hand sliding down her chest, between her breasts. “You always were. And you still are.”
Her hands unbutton each button on my shirt before sliding up and pushing it off my shoulders. When they come back down and meet my chest, it’s like a shock of electricity to my system that I can only ever get from her touch. They trail down my chest, over my abs and stop at my belt, undoing the buckle. She unbuttons my jeans and pulls the zipper down. When her hand dips inside and glides down my hard shaft, my head falls back with a groan at how good it feels to have her hands on me again.
Gripping her chin in my fingers, I pull her mouth to mine. I’m not gentle this time. I want to eat every part of her. Our tongues duel as they taste and familiarize with each other again.
My hand moves to cup her pussy, and she’s so fucking wet for me. I plunge a finger inside her tight little hole. Her cry is loud and needy as I add another one, my palm grinding against her.
Dipping down, I suck her nipple into my mouth, making her moans increase. Pulling my fingers from her, I bring them to her lips. She opens and sucks them into her mouth. Dropping to my knees, I pull one of her legs over my shoulder. Flattening my tongue, I lick her from back to front, needing to taste every bit of her.
“Fuck, I forgot how good you taste,” I groan as I run my tongue through every part of her delicious pussy, sucking and licking her as she fists my hair. My tongue fills her, and she cries out as I fuck her with my mouth before pulling back and sucking on her clit. My fingers fill her again, hooking inside to press on her hot button that I still remember drives her higher.
“Yes, yes, yes…” she chats, gripping my fingers like a vice inside her. I suck her into my mouth again—hard—and she comes all over my fingers and tongue.
She’s panting hard and sags into my arms when I stand and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “Oh, no. I am hardly finished with you.”
Picking her up, I carry her over my shoulder up to my bedroom, slapping her bare ass when she starts to protest. I toss her down on my bed with a bounce, making her giggle. It’s reminiscent of years ago. Quickly, I step out of my jeans and jump on the bed on top of her.
I smile big as I look down at her. “My cock missed you, too,” I tell her, rubbing it against her wet pussy. She laughs, smacking my shoulder before her laughter turns to moans.
As much as I would love nothing more than to take her bare, I’m not that much of an asshole. After I sheath myself, I cover her body with mine again. This time, I don’t play though. I pierce into her in one go. Her scream of surprise and pleasure fills the air, and I wish I had a way to hear that more often.
Seated fully inside her, I pause, wanting to remember everything about this moment. Her walls clench, making it hard not to move. “Fuck. Stop. I want to enjoy this moment a little longer.”
Her fingers go to my neck, and it’s then I realize what she’s seeing for the first time. “It’s a harp.”
“Yeah, baby. You’ve always been with me.” Bringing her fingers from my neck to my lips, I kiss them softly as a tear slides from the corner of her eye.
The fast and furious fuck I had planned to help get her out of my system disappears, and instead, I spend the next hour making love to the woman I may never have again.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Harper
I wake up with my body aching in the most glorious of ways. Stretching, I smile, looking over at Jett. He’s always been gorgeous, but he’s the type of man that gets better looking the older he gets. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but it’s true.
We had sex in more ways than I have in years. Then, after we were both fully sated and exhausted, we took a quick shower. As we slid back into bed, the sun was just beginning to rise. I fell asleep with Jett holding me and watching as a new day was dawning.
Now, with the sun up, I can see and appreciate his body better. My eyes find the harp on his neck, and I wonder when he got it. Over his heart is another tattoo. This one makes more tears fill my eyes. It’s a sun rising behind an ocean wave with SERENITY under it. I sniff and wipe the tear that spills out.
“Don’t cry,” he rasps, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.
My fingers trace over her name. “It’s perfect.”
He pulls me up his bo
dy and presses a soft kiss to my lips.
“When did you get the harp?” I ask.
“Pretty much the second I got back to California,” he chuckles. “My dad was pissed, but I didn’t care. He was the reason I had to leave you, and I wanted him to see it every time he looked at me.”
Pressing my lips to his chest, I smile.
Stretching, he grabs his phone. “Fuck, it’s almost one. Are you hungry?”
“I don’t want to waste time with you eating,” I tell him honestly.
He’s silent for a minute, and I wonder what he’s thinking. “You could stay.”
Shifting up on my elbow, I look at him. “Jett…” His face morphs into the same one I couldn’t forget when he left me the first time.
“Does he make you happy? Truly happy and free to be you, Harper?”
“Are you happy, Jett? This the life you want? The one where you sit in an office every day and come home to an empty house at night? Because you chose this for both of us.”
“That’s not fair,” he scoffs. And maybe it’s not, but I’m not going to let him blame me for how things turned out for us.
“You didn’t fight for us!” I yell, sitting up and pulling the sheet up to cover myself.
“And if I had, what life could I have given you, Harper? My father would have cut me off and I wouldn’t have been able to support you. Our family.”
“Don’t you get it? I never asked for money or things. You know that was never important to me. You could have loved me. You could have given me the life I dreamed of and we planned together. You could have given me a happy life, Jett. A happy life with you.”
“I didn’t…” He pauses and presses his palms into his eyes. “I didn’t know how to do that then. We were just kids.”
“So, what? All of it was a lie because we were too young? I don’t believe that for a second. But if that makes you sleep better at night, fine.”
“It’s not…” He looks at me, pleading to understand. “I can’t let you go again. I can’t send you back to him. It will kill me, Harper.” Taking my hand in his, he holds it tightly. “Stay with me. Let’s make the life we should have years ago.”
“He’s my best friend,” I say quietly.
“Does he even know you at all? Because I’m guessing he’s hoping you’re going to stop doing everything that makes you happy when you get married and become his dutiful wife. Judging by those fucking invitations, I’m willing to bet you’ll be miserable by next week,” he grits out, tossing my hand down.
“That’s not fair,” I say as tears sting my eyes. “Please don’t do this,” I beg. “Please don’t ruin what we had last night.”
He stands and walks to his dresser, tossing a shirt and shorts on the bed. “You can wear that so you don’t have to put back on your dress.” Then he walks into the bathroom and slams the door shut behind him.
My tears fall instantly, and I hurt in a whole new way now.
I should have known this would end badly, but I selfishly wanted to have one last night with him.
I dress and walk down to his kitchen. Absently, I make us each a sandwich. We both eat silently, not saying anything more.
Our fire that burned bright last night was extinguished and snuffed out.
Picking up his keys to drive me to the airport, he tosses my clutch to me. “You might need to put your ring back on.”
“Jett, please talk to me,” I try once more.
“There’s nothing more to say, Harper.” He sounds as exhausted as I feel. “I should have known you’d leave. You learned it from me, after all.”
“That’s not what this is.”
“Yeah, it is. Because now we’re even. And I can’t do this again. I’m done, Harper.” He walks out and gets in the car without waiting for me.
Letting out a breath, I follow him and get into the passenger side. Silence still falls heavy between us as he drives me to the plane waiting to take me back to my real life.
I just couldn’t decide if what I was going back to was my real life. Was it really what I wanted? What would make me happy? Because right now, it didn’t feel like it.
* * *
“Thanks for being on time,” Tristan says to Jett with a handshake when I get to them.
“No problem, man.”
“She’s crying. Why is my girl crying, Jett? I thought we had a deal.” Gabby glares at Jett.
“That’s her doing, not mine,” he answers flatly. “Good to see you as always, Gabs.” He kisses her on the cheek. She whispers something in his ear and then pats his face.
“We’ll go. Take your time,” she says to me as she and Tristan board.
Blowing out a breath, I look up to try to stop the tears from falling anymore. Jett steps in front of me and cups my face in his hands, my efforts gone as tears spill down my cheeks. He gives me a sad smile, wiping them away.
“I don’t want to go. But I have to,” I say.
He presses a soft, chaste kiss on my lips. “Promise me you’ll be happy,” he says with his head resting against mine.
“I love you, Jett.”
He kisses me on the head, his lips lingering there. “Bye, Harper.”
He lets me go and walks to his car, and I’m left there watching him leave, my heart breaking. All of it feeling the same as it did that first time he left me on the pier six years ago.
“Jett!” I yell after him.
He stops and turns to look at me. I take off running after him, jumping into his arms. I kiss him with everything I have, needing him to know and feel how much I love him regardless of the mistakes we’ve made along the way.
“I know, baby. I know,” he soothes me with a sniff of his own. “But you need to go right now.” He kisses me one last time. “Go.”
I walk slowly back to the plane, feeling like a zombie. I sleep the whole flight back home. Gabby and Tristan stay quiet, neither of them asking me what happened.
When I get home, I don’t call Teddy to let him know I’m back. Instead, I change, grab my board and take off for the waves. They always calm me and help me know what to do.
* * *
It’s my wedding day.
I wake up feeling heavy. A tear slides down my temple into my unruly blonde hair, which hasn’t been tamed yet. Closing my eyes, I picture Serenity. With a slow, calming exhale, I know what I need to do today.
Piling my hair up on top of my head, I slide on a pair of yoga pants and the closest shirt I can reach. I type out a quick text to my sister, asking her to meet me at my house in an hour instead of at our parents', like we had planned originally. Then, after brushing my teeth, I slide on a pair of sandals and walk next door.
I feel sick to my stomach when I knock on the door instead of walking in like I normally do. Shifting from one foot to the other, I bite my thumbnail, waiting for Teddy to answer the door. When he does, he only has a towel wrapped around his waist and a huge smile on his handsome face, making this even harder.
“What are you doing here? Isn’t it bad luck to see each other before the wedding?” he asks teasingly, hiding behind the door.
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in? And can you put on clothes?” I ask, rubbing at my tired eyes.
“Of course,” he says, dropping his playful smile. “Is everything okay?”
“Go change. I’ll make us some coffee,” I say, walking into his house and going straight back to the kitchen.
I take several calming breaths as I wait for the coffee to finish and Teddy to return, but they do nothing to settle all the unease and nerves running through me.
“You’re scaring me, Harper. What’s going on?” he asks from behind me.
“I can’t do this,” I say quietly before turning around to look at him like the coward I am.
“You can’t do what exactly?” he asks, drawing out the question slowly.
I look up at him, and my face pulls in agony as I fight back my emotions. “I can’t marry you, Teddy.”
He stares at me a
few minutes before he moves and says anything more. I see his jaw flex, and then he asks, “You can’t marry me today? Or you can’t marry me ever?”
I stare back at him, pleading with him not to make me say it. But he doesn’t give me that mercy. On a broken sob, I answer, “Ever.” He watches as I break down in his kitchen but doesn’t move to comfort me. I know I don’t deserve his kindness or love or compassion right now, but I miss it. I selfishly seek it when I look at him. “I’m so sorry, Teddy. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you,” I cry.
“Then fucking don’t, Harper!” he pleads. His loud voice cracks with his own emotions dripping from the words.
“Teddy, you are my best friend. You always have been. But we are too different from each other now. I’m not the perfect Stepford wife you want and need by your side. I’m a hippie surfer who is happiest when I’m wearing a bikini covered in sand and saltwater, not when I’m in heels and cocktail dresses. We could play house and try to make this work, but you and I both know it won’t. We’ll eventually make each other miserable.”
“You don’t know that,” he says quietly with his head down, hanging between his shoulders.
“We make each other happy enough. We love each other enough. But I don’t want enough. I want to light up from the inside out with happiness. I want to have explosive love. And you should too. You deserve that, Teddy.”
“It’s him, isn’t it?” he asks, and I know who he’s talking about. My heart pounds in my chest at the truths I need to tell him.
“Partially, yes.”
His head lifts, and he looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Did you sleep with him?”
Looking away from him, I answer with a shameful, “Yes.”
“Did you ever love me even close to how much you loved him?”
“I love you with my whole being, Teddy. That’s the worst part. I do love you. But I’m in love with Jett in a completely different way. And if I’m being honest, I always have been. He has had my heart since we were thirteen and never gave it back.” I watch him as he absorbs everything I’ve laid out bare for him. “How much do you hate me now?”
I Kissed Her First: A BOUND TOGETHER NOVEL Page 18