It's better to go to the end of the gallery and go back through the corridor at the end of the west wing. Really, then you have to go through the whole wing: abandoned, overgrown with a spider web and lit with mice. And, as we've been frightened, dwelling on the restless spirits.
But spirits... what can they do alive? And after the Arch'arrion's fang-bride, is it possible to be afraid of some small, frightened mouse? I hummed and immediately became sullen. I wish I hadn't remembered.
As I picked up the hem, I confidently moved deep into the west wing.
It was unusually quiet here, the echo of footsteps echoing through the desert halls, reflecting off the walls, creating the illusion that someone was sneaking in. I tried to walk quietly, gently putting my feet in leather boots from heel to toe. In the small rooms behind the main hall, the echo calmed down, drowning in a heap of demolished antiquities tightened with dark, damp canvases. This part of Riverstein was not heated, and it was noticeably cold in here. Despite a quick step, I started shaking and tapping my teeth. I slowed down, rubbing my cold hands and trying to orient myself. So I came from the other side, walked through the hall, a winding corridor, a few rooms... then the corridor again. That's where I took a left. Or to the right? And where did you go?
Did you really get lost? She turned her head, trying to figure out which part of the building she was in.
It's a small passage room. There's a lot of rooms in Riverstein with two doors on opposite sides. And this one's the same. Looks like our student, just like the windows on the two walls, the room was a corner room. I wrinkled my forehead. If it's a corner room, it turns out I took a wrong turn. The stairs to the first floor in the middle of the hall, how did I get it? Or did I go through one of the access rooms, bypassing the main hallway? Oh... and where to go now. I froze thoughtfully, thinking with regret that even if there was an unyielding spirit, the way was suggested.
- Is anybody there? - I squeaked uncertainly. The sound flew through the room, got confused in a bunch of rags, got lost, "be... go..." I looked back frightened.
The curtainlessly curtained windows are covered with a furry web, and the grey light barely penetrates them no matter how hard it tries. Maybe we should go back in our tracks. That's a thought!
I gladly stared at the floor, then frowned, sat down looking closely. And I turned around anxiously. I thought someone was looking at my back. Of course, there was no one there, a deaf wall with shattered plaster of indefinite color and a curl of darkened bronze lamp.
I stared at the floor again. There were no traces. Neither was the dust. But how is that possible? Who needed to wash the floor in a long abandoned room? And just recently, the new layer hadn't had time to accumulate yet.
There wasn't enough light, and once again, I turned over my shoulder and concentrated and did what Shyder patiently taught me, but which I absolutely couldn't do. It's working now. There was a light at my fingertips and I could easily fly off them, hanging in the air. In his light, I took a close look around the room, but it wasn't. Dust. I walked to the opposite door and looked out into the corridor, looking at the darkened boards. There was a clear print left of my leg.
I went back to the mysterious room, went through, looked out the door. And here on the floor was a clear chain of my footprints. But how do you explain it? There was no answer. Once I had stomped on the spot, I went out and thoughtfully wrestled forward, pondering over this strange mystery. I reached the main corridor, where the voices of the pupils, rushing to the refectory, were heard. I hurriedly put out the light behind me and went to lunch without thinking of anything...
* * *
I had to apologize to Xenia for my strange escape, but without explaining why. Not because she didn't trust me, but because I didn't have a coherent explanation. I myself didn't understand what was happening to me, where this mayata and anger came from, the incomprehensible impulses of singing and screaming. I had to say that I was sitting in the chapel, wanted to be alone. Why I wasn't sitting alone in a warm room, I couldn't think of. But my friend got used to my quirks, so she wouldn't ask and I sighed with relief. And I promised myself that I'd tell her soon. I'm just gonna take care of my own thoughts...
Xenia was scattering a sweet bun, crumbling dough in her fingers, but eating slowly, which was not like her. Her thoughts were also somewhere far away, maybe that's why she didn't ask me any questions either.
- Have you seen a lord? - I asked. Xenya shook her head, lining the table with crumbs.
- And I haven't heard from Danila," I sighed, "what is Danina saying? Does she know how he is?
- The lord came to her, said that he had sent her son to Starovest to study, saying that he had the ability to witchcraft. And that he'd determined the boy's allowance, and after training he'd take a doctor. Danina rushed to kiss her hands, and he, you know, confused so, confused ... promised that Danila would come to the full moon, to see.
- Yeah... so by then, the initiation at the Source will have passed. Maybe he'll be able to see something new. It would be nice if...
- Do you think those kids... are still alive?
I shrugged my shoulders sadly.
Xenya punched her fist on the table in her heart, so a cracked clay mug jumped up and was shouted from the other side of the table.
- The most hurtful thing is that we know, and there's nothing we can do! - she put her head down, if she knew where they were being held!
We were silent. The thought that there were hungry, exhausted children sitting in some damp cellar, one by one killed with a ritual blade, did not fit in my head. And caused a stiff and creepy hurry. Ksenia glaringly looked at the darkened planks of the table.
- I asked around quietly. Last year, five girls went missing in Riverstein, all the little girls, the younger ones. The abbesses said they were rotten.
- So maybe it really is rotten.
- Danina says she didn't see a stain on anyone last year. No, she hasn't.
I looked at my friend with horror.
- How so? - Like this. Who wondered where Mila went three springs ago or Rada? We're told it was rotten, or wolf or drowned, that's the whole story... girlfriends cried, that's all. We're used to believing what we're told, Vetriana... and where are the novices, the Pure Mother knows... someone thinks the Call has called, the Prior and hides, someone is afraid of rotting, they prefer not to get involved. The little ones don't think much at all...
- Is someone in Riverstein involved in this?
- I don't know, Vetriana! It's scary to even think that one of our own might be involved! Although it's easy to get the same Harpy... easily. We're garbage to her, maybe that's how she decided to cleanse the world of filth. As novices?
My appetite is gone, too. An unseen look at the refectory: lively novices boycott spoons on plates with boiled thick soup, crunching warm roasted cakes with butter and soft cheese. One of the younger abbesses looks after the girls, dispersely possesses the second and slowly sips warm herbal infusion. Cheerfully crackles the fire in the fireplace, warming the room with live warmth. Avdotya, flushed with the heat of the stoves, looks out of the cooking and looks over the full faces of the novices... and behind each of them the black shadow of the murderer with a brought ritual blade.
I wiggled my head, dropping the dirt... Xenya has emboldened me with her palm.
- The Lord will sort everything out," she said confidently. "Don't be afraid, Vetriana. I didn't say anything.
Shaider showed up at sunset and confidently entered the student room during the evening classes. He walked down the aisle, looking in his notebooks and causing the blush on girls' cheeks to blush, listened thoughtfully to old Mrs. Pana, and hung over my shoulder. I diligently took out pretzels and flowers in my notebooks instead of the extracts from the Order's historical milestones.
- What's new? - he whispered in my ear.
I didn't look happy. I found a place to communicate. Rogneda looks angry, and the others jealously watch the curator's movements. But I cou
ldn't help but wonder. In addition, the students began to speak out loud the task, the voices became noisy.
- Have you been to Elloar? - I asked as quietly as possible. The Lord nodded.
- I had to replenish the reserve... and recharge the amulets, or I risk being stuck here forever!
- I hope you won't need such sacrifices," I sighed.
- Why wouldn't you? - the fresh air, the nature... the places are beautiful. Maybe I should really stay here. Ah, Vetriana? What do you think?
I shrugged my shoulders surprisingly. How do I know he's better? Because I didn't answer that. The lord sat next to me, took my notebook and pretended to be studying my notes. Xenia, on the other side of the student, gave me a questionable smile. Mrs. Pana has not allowed us to sit together since she was a child. We were considered to be a bad influence on each other. I made terrible eyes that the rest of us would see at the same time, saying, "Ay, ay, ay, ay, that this evil lord is clinging to me, makes the tricky questions to answer and holy passages by heart to repeat. Ksenia understood, turned her back. Polada and three other students buried themselves in her notebooks just in case. Rogneda kept boring me with her eyes.
Well, that's all right.
- The Arch'arrion forbade me to train," I said without looking at the Lord.
He darkened.
- Well, we don't have to tell him, do we? - I almost begged," you... you're not afraid of him, are you?
Spider pinched his eyes, showing he appreciated my trick.
- He who says he's not afraid of the wrath of the Lord of Darkness is either a fool or a liar," he said quietly, "wouldn't like to be counted among either. But... we will continue. If you want to.
I shone, regained consciousness, and made a sad stumble in my notebook. I looked at the squint.
- Thank you! Maybe he won't even know...
Shyder snorted, just like Kairos. Mockingly and a little contemptuous. I bowed my head even lower, wiped the tip of my braid, holding back from the temptation to stick it in my mouth like I did when I was a kid.
- Why do you not love him so...? What are you fighting about? - I asked quietly. The Lord darkened, frowned, but answered quietly.
- We are not enemies, Vetriana. And not friends, though we used to be... - I cast surprised eyes, - long ago. But life sometimes divorces people in different directions. Even best friends. You're still very young, I guess you don't understand that...
- I don't understand," I confessed. "Besides, you don't explain. But I know for sure that I will never turn my back on Xenia, no matter what happens. The Arch'arrion... sometimes he seems very alone.
The Lord easily led with his shoulder, as if throwing away an unpleasant subject.
- Rion has taken dearly what he has. And he will sacrifice everything for his purposes. And he doesn't want any friends. Remember that and don't seduce him, Vetriana.
- Why do you say that? You don't know him at all... I confusedly asked.
Anger flashed in the man's eyes.
- Do you know? I see it's worse than I thought! - ...the Lord dumped him fiercely, I should have told you at once...
- Tell me what?
Shyder crumpled, then he looked hard at point-blank range.
- You know that Rion gave you some of its blood and power to save Argard. The Merger has a side effect... unfortunately. It doesn't just support you, it binds the essence and... generates attraction. You aspire to him, you want to be with him because he's part of you, because in you his blood... in Chaos part of the Mergence was used in the mating ritual, now it's forbidden because the binding is too strong, it's hard to break. So don't think, for the sake of the Light, that you're experiencing something for him! It's just... a side effect!
I froze, I can't believe what I heard.
- I mean... the Arch'arrion knew about this... merger act when he did it? Knew how I would feel...?
- Absolutely - with bitter disappointment, the Lord left.
I often suffocated, trying to relieve a broken heart.
- Does it, uh... work both ways?
- I don't know," the lord said, "I think not. Still, he's the ultimate demon, and you're a human being, most likely a one-way tether. The human blood in him, your blood is most likely crushed by the demonic essence, it's too insignificant and there's no great power in it... so, no.
I raised my head and looked at the lord very calmly.
- Thank you for the enlightenment, Lord Darrell," I said politely and turned away and stuck myself in the notebook. I must have looked so pitiful at that moment that even Rogneda, satisfied, turned away.
Shader wanted to say something, stretched out his hand, but at this time Mrs. Panah stabbed me on the tin plate on the table, showing that the class was over. I picked up my writing instruments and rushed to the door rashly, dreaming only that I wouldn't shout in front of everyone.
* * *
I don't know where I was going without taking apart the roads. I jumped out like a Riverstein girl, and I rushed into a breach in the fence. As a childish habit, I'd run into the woods, somewhere in my heart hoping he'd help me like he'd done before. The wind embraced me with its icy paws, soaked in my body with sharp stings, but I couldn't feel it. Something broke in me, broke my heart, did not let me breathe. "...a side effect...just...a side effect!"
I must have been so funny in that stupid naivety of mine!
I woke up in a spruce tree, by the Riverstein stone fence. The snow-covered trees didn't seem formidable to me now, on the contrary, they hid me from everyone, hid me, protected me from accidental eyes. There wasn't much snow here under the wide needle-haired feet, but the hem was soaked during my stupid race and now my feet were disgustingly cold. The ribbon fell out of the braid, and my handkerchief was left somewhere in the snowdrifts. Heavy head as if filled with old rags, in which thoughts can hardly spin. Thick dark shadows were lying in the spruce with black omuts, the dying sunlight almost did not penetrate through the snow swollen crowns.
I froze near the rough trunk, no doubt that it would come. And I was afraid of it.
He has come. He stopped a step away from me, quietly inspected the area, making sure that no one infringed on my life and raised his eyebrow questionably.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I couldn't understand the clapping of my eyes, holding back my tears," why didn't you tell me that the merger was not only... empowering! Was it so difficult to explain everything to me, to warn me... You must have had a lot of fun... Although... what I mean... for a strong and powerful ruler of Chaos I am only a human creature!
The Arch'arrion has a little wince.
- Syder... of course. My good friend couldn't resist the temptation to educate you... about me. I wonder how much he told you. Well, I guess that's for the best. Well, I'm glad you know now. It'll save you from... possible misunderstandings.
I was confused not to expect such words. Well, what did I expect?
- But how... I was thinking...
The Arch'arrion threw his head up looking at me.
- What? What were you thinking? What were you thinking, silly girl? What do you think you've met the Prince Charming who saves princesses from dragons? - The Arch'arrion said with anger.
- I thought I met the one who saves the dragons themselves..." I said quietly, looking into his eyes.
- It's only because they make great watchdogs. - ...said the demon harshly.
- I don't believe you," I wanted to cry, "why do you say that? You're not so...
- That's who I am. What you fantasized about me, just stupid illusions, you don't even know who you're wearing in shining armor... You don't understand anything. And I'm not a noble knight from your human fairy tales, and believe me, I'm not going to be. All I want from you is Argard, and he's the only one. Once I get my artifact back, you won't see me again.
I didn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it! I looked into his eyes, impenetrable, tightened by darkness, in which there was not a single spark of light and - I did not believe. There w
as nothing in his cruel face that I wanted to see, only cold.
- Then why do you come to me? - in despair, I asked, why? I know that this is not a dream... not a dream... even though you make me think so! Why?
The stiff face is a bit shaky. He squeezed my shoulders, brown fingers left bruises on my skin.
- Because I can't fight it... can't crush the desire... to see you. It's a merger, just a merger. Your blood is stronger than I thought, I can't stand... wanting to be with you.
He loosened his hands as if he realized he was hurting me, gently guided his palm over my shoulder.
- But... I want to be with you too," I whispered.
- Stupid girl. You just don't understand... but you'll understand everything and you'll want to tear it up and get rid of me. And I will do it. Of course I'll do it. - to the land of bitterness, he said, his fingers were slowly drawing a pattern on my neck, slowly stroking my back, and you will stop looking at me like that. And that's how you feel. And you will never again rush to rescue me from the mermaid's lake...
I waved my head.
- No... no.
The Arch'arrion leaned towards me, so close, I could feel his breath on my lips.
- Yes, Vetriana, yes. And you will hate me for everything. And for feeling so... and for that, too...
His lips covered mine. Hard as I thought. And warm. And he kisses roughly, even evil, as the master breaks into his property without feeling resistance, without hearing my groaning. He only whips it up, melts it down, and hot hands squeeze my body so fiercely, as if he wants to break, crush, destroy me. Strong fingers look impatiently at my back, slide around my neck, burrow into my hair. He twists a strand, forcing me to put my head back, tears off my lips for a moment and burns my neck with a fierce kiss, leaving painful marks. And again, the lips. It holds me, it subdues me. His body is hot as a flame and I know that I will burn in it like a stupid moth that flew too close to the fire.
I'm scared and hurt by this beast of fierce power that breaks me.
- Don't...
I try to get out, I push him away. He lifts his head up, glances at my lips, bruises on my neck. The husky breath burns my skin. He recedes a little. Black and gray haze flows from his eyes, covers his face, changing his appearance. The darkness covers the body in pieces, through it ghostly black wings, claws, twisted horns break through... his body trembles, changing... the human shell flows in the true kind, becomes who it is. A demon.
The Wind of the North Page 20