by JP Sayle
As if he sensed me weakening, Mason came closer. He didn’t touch, but his eyes lowered to my chest before coming to meet my gaze. What I saw stole my breath.
“The only people that have touched your heart are Lizzie and River. I want to be added to that list. I’ll go at your pace. I’ll do this any way you want”—his eyes darkened—“but I’m not giving up.” His mouth slammed against mine in a brutal kiss that was over before it even began, and then he was gone.
Sensations bombarded my body while my brain tried to re-engage. How the fuck was I supposed to fight when he didn’t play fair?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mason
“Do you have the file I need for the Carter case? I can’t seem to find it.” I asked as I came out of my office.
Linda glanced up from her computer, her face blank for a moment. “Sorry, erm, I think I filed it after you said you were finished with it.” She shrugged her slim shoulders, but her gaze had already returned to the computer, her hands back to typing.
Used to her behavior, I didn’t take offense as I walked past her desk and went to the filing cabinets that were coded in alphabetical order. I opened the drawer I needed and plucked out the file.
“You want to talk about what’s on your mind?” Linda asked as I turned to go back to my office.
I glanced at the top of her sunny blonde head. “Why are you asking me that?”
Her gaze moved from the screen to me, and her brows rose. “It might be that normally you never leave your man cave for a file. Instead, you pick up the contraption on your desk called a phone and ask me to bring you what you need.” Her voice was laced with humor and her eyes twinkled with mirth.
Was I that easy to read? Linda had been my personal assistant ever since I’d joined the firm. I’d come to rely on her and would often use her as a sounding board when I needed to talk through something. I’d just never used her for my own personal shit. But the option of using my family was out because…well, I just didn’t want to talk to them yet about what I felt for Linc, until I’d figured it all out in my own head.
My best friend, Zack, was currently off trying to find himself in some remote part of the world after an epic break-up with who he thought was the love of his life. It turned out said ‘love’ was banging any dude that moved, in their bed while Zack was working his ass off to pay for the roof over their heads.
My lawyer colleagues/acquaintances were a no go as having a relationship, even with a former client, could still be frowned upon. I eyed Linda as she continued to stare at me expectantly. I sighed and spun around, shouting over my shoulder, “We’ll need to talk in my office.”
She muttered something I didn’t catch, but she got up and came after me. Her heels made no noise on the thick carpet. Heels that she was never without as she said they made her feel like she could take on the world. I wasn’t quite sure how, when they mostly looked like they just hurt her feet. Today’s pair was ruby red with a spike heel of about four inches. They matched the skirt she wore.
“Okay, spill. What’s on your mind?” she demanded the minute she sat in the seat in front of my desk and crossed her slim legs, one foot bouncing continuously. Her attractive face showed a little concern as she searched my face for answers.
“Linc Stone…”
“Yes?”
“I…you see…I—”
“Jeez, you’re a lawyer. Speaking is a vital part of your job. What turned you into a stuttering idiot?”
“Hey, I’m your boss, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to call me a stuttering idiot,” I grumbled, though she was right. Her shoulders shrugged and she showed no remorse. “Anyway, I’ve…feelings for Linc.”
Verbalizing the words gave them true meaning and for the first time in my life, I realized I was in a position where someone had the power to crush my heart. I wasn’t sure, if I’d been standing, I could have remained upright when my legs felt like jelly. Having a moment of panic, I sucked in a shaky breath. I’m fucked. What if he chooses to leave things as I left them?
Yesterday, he’d come down dressed in his shorts and sat with River, his brooding gaze giving me no clues as to what he was thinking. For a while, I’d thought he’d make an excuse to leave early after I’d laid out how I wanted a relationship with him. But no, he’d stayed but kept his distance from me. I’d given him space while he’d spent some time talking with my dad. When Hudson had offered to drop him and River home, he’d accepted without even looking at me.
That was fifteen hours ago, and I’d heard nothing from him, not that I’d expected to, but that still didn’t stop the hope he might have reached out.
Linda’s expression was hard to read as she stared at me, the silence lengthening.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” I asked, twisting my hands together on the desk in front of me.
“What do you want me to say? That he’s got more baggage than a carousel in an airport? That he’s all wrong for you? That the club he’s mixed up in could compromise you and your position?”
“Thanks for laying that all out for me.” I got up and spun around to look at the bright blue sky outside the window. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of all those things?” I ground out through clenched teeth. It was all I could think about last night when I’d gotten home, without lust clouding my mind.
I ran my hands through my hair before turning back to face her. “How do you tell your heart that it’s looking at the wrong man?”
“If I had the answer to that I’d be a very rich woman.”
My brows rose.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But seriously, regardless of what I mentioned, there is something about him that tugs at the heartstrings. The way he cares for that little girl shows that he has the capacity to love and love hard.” She got up and came toward me, her face utterly serious. “Love is a tricky bastard that doesn’t listen to reason. I’ve known you a long time and you’re a very good judge of character. If you have feelings for Lincoln, then he must be worthy of them.” Her hand touched my shirt sleeve. “If you’re serious about him, then let your heart lead and don’t give up on him. He strikes me as a man that needs someone like you in his life to show him that he can have more than what he’s been given in the past.”
A ball of emotion lodged in my throat at the picture of Linc, age ten, looking sad and alone, clinging to his sister. Determination I’d displayed to Linc yesterday before I’d left him in my childhood bedroom, came back. I can do this! I can show him I’m worth his time, worth the effort and fear.
Linda’s face formed into a smile and she nodded. “There’s the Mason I know. Go get ‘em tiger.”
Laughter rumbled up my chest. “Seriously, go get ‘em tiger?”
She chuckled. “It sounded better in my head. Are we done? I have a pile of work my tyrant boss will want this afternoon for court?”
I waved her off, “Go on…and thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she answered softly before leaving the room.
I sat back behind my desk, my head going over my calendar, trying to figure out when I could pay Linc a surprise visit.
***
It took two days of working extra hours before I could finish early enough and head over to Linc’s tattoo shop. I’d refrained from sending him a message to see if he’d reach out first. He hadn’t, but I’d not been deterred. Instead, I’d enlisted the help of River and Nutty. A smile spread over my face. They’d been more than happy to help and informed me that Linc had been worse than a bear with a sore paw over the last couple of days.
I hoped it was because of me, but I couldn’t be sure with Miss Fink mouthing off to anyone who would listen about the injustice of the case being thrown out of court. When I’d phoned Nutty the day before to see what Linc had on his schedule for today in the shop, she’d been madder than a swarm of bees getting ready to defend their hive. It would seem, Miss Fink wasn’t giving up her quest to put Lincoln away. I’d contacted Mr. Winter on Linc’s be
half and had a word about his client, threatening a libel action if she continued to spread her lies.
Whether she listened, only time would tell, but I was going to talk to Linc about it because it had to be affecting his business. Although when I drove past his shop and struggled to find a parking space on his street, it seemed business was as busy as ever.
The wall of heat as I exited the car made me grateful I’d remembered to bring a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to change into. I reached into the back of the car for the picnic basket I’d had Myla’s bakery make up for me. I’d added some beers that Nutty told me were Linc’s favorite, along with some soft drinks for River and me.
I’d done a little research on Belton, and Stillhouse Lake, situated not far from Linc’s home, had four parks with lake access. They offered many amenities that included picnic areas and designated sandy beaches. My hope was to persuade Linc to come for a late afternoon picnic. River was already onboard and Nutty had told me Linc always finished early on Thursdays to spend time with River.
Everything was in place. I just needed to get Linc to agree, simple. Then why did my stomach feel like hundreds of butterflies had taken flight in there?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lincoln
River danced at the side of me. “You got ants in your pants or somethin’?”
Her face pinked and she glanced at the open door of my work room. “No, I’s…you’s supposed to be finished. Ya takin’ forever to clean up,” she whined, her eyes darting back to the doorway.
Was I missing something? I stopped clearing my stuff away and crouched down in front of her. “You got something on your mind, Spirit?”
The pink of her cheeks went a deep rose and glowed as she evaded looking me in the eye. My heart rate increased. The last couple of days, I’d been aware of the short fuse I’d had on my temper. I blamed Mason for fucking with my head, but that was no excuse for hurting River’s feelings. I ran a finger over her warm cheek and encouraged her to look at me. “Have I done something to upset you?”
She threw her arms around my neck and buried her face in my hair. “Oh, Poppy, you’s not upset me.”
“Then what is it that has you so jumpy?”
She stiffened in my arms and my heart was back to hammering against my ribs.
“Knock knock, am I interrupting?” Mason’s voice inquired from behind me and I wobbled as I tried to shift to look over at him.
The air in the room seemed to disappear as he gave me a beautiful smile, which didn’t help my already fast beating heart. My gaze swept over him and my body started to react. Before I could move, River released me and spun around to run to Mason, her arms outstretched.
“Ya ‘ere…” The sound of her hand slapping against her face was enough for me to register what she’d said.
My eyes narrowed on the pair of them. Was this a setup? Had River known that Mason was coming today? I stood slowly and faced both Mason and River, who had matching sheepish expressions.
“Someone wanna tell me what’s goin’ on and why Mason is here?”
“We’s all goin’ for a picnic at Stillhouse Lake, aren’t we, Mason?” River said excitedly while looking at Mason for confirmation. I didn’t miss Mason wince. Clearly River wasn’t supposed to spill the beans quite yet.
My brow furrowed. “And whose idea was this?”
“Why Mason’s, of course. He’s gonna take us on a date, Poppy. My very first date.” She sighed, her eyes bright as she rested her head on Mason’s shoulder.
There was no way I could deny her, not when she put it like that, and the fucker Mason knew it. I met his unrepentant stare and couldn’t find it in me to curse.
I was forty-years-old, and I wasn’t about to pretend to myself I hadn’t been fucking miserable with no word from Mason. Several times, I’d picked up my phone but always found an excuse to not make a call or send a message. What was a person supposed to write or say? I’d never dated, and without anyone to ask for advice without explaining myself, I’d left it alone. Then I’d prayed the hollow feeling in my chest would ease as the days had passed with no word from Mason.
“So, you want to come on a date with me and River?” asked Mason as his eyes showed vulnerability.
A wild fluttering started in my chest and spread through me. “It seems you both already decided for me,” I muttered, sounding a little churlish, but neither Mason nor River seemed to care as they gave me wide smiles.
Leaving them both grinning, I went to change into shorts. At the same time, I gave myself a talking to about getting in too deep with Mason. It was useless though, when I came down to find Mason holding a large picnic basket and River holding a blanket. There was something about the way River leaned against Mason, so trusting that he’d be there for her.
“We’s got everything for our date,” River announced, loud enough to make the remaining folks who sat waiting for their appointments turn to look at me, and then Mason. I scowled at the curious faces before stomping out the door.
It would be all over town before the end of the day, that I had a date with Mason. It took a second to register that I wasn’t as bothered about that as maybe I should be. It was sure to get back to the club members, and as things were already tense in the clubhouse, it was hard to determine what this nugget of information would do. A part of me couldn’t find it in me to care.
When I’d left Sid and gone to the club last week, there’d been more than a few shocked faces at seeing me there. It had shown me that the root of my problems possibly went deeper than I’d thought. I’d had another word with Sid, in private, and we’d considered changing our plan for Ned, Stevie, Ricky, and Doddie, but I’d contacted Dog myself and we’d decided to leave things the way they were.
“Are you’s ignorin’ us, Poppy?” River’s breathless question forced me to stop walking and put aside my worries as I glanced down at her flushed face and heaving chest. I looked over my shoulder and, seeing how far behind me Mason was, realized how fast I’d been walking.
“Sorry, Spirit, I was just thinking ‘bout something.” I flicked the end of River’s nose before offering a smile of apology to Mason.
This was probably not what he had in mind when he’d gone behind my back to hijack me.
“You in a rush to eat?” His expression asked something completely different. The concern wasn’t quite masked as he stopped in front of me.
The buzz of the insects enjoying the flowers, and the sound of traffic, disappeared as he held my gaze. The warm scented air filled my nose as I inhaled to try and release the tight band constricting my chest. What was it about this man that made me want…more?
Choosing not to think about the obvious answer, I held out my hand. He took it without hesitation and his warm fingers interlaced mine. A part of me acknowledged how right it felt, even when another part wanted to run for the fucking hills.
River took my other hand and gave me an encouraging smile as if she understood how huge this was for me. With the three of us linked, we walked to Stillhouse Lake while River chatted.
We found a quiet spot in the shade of a tree but close enough to the water for River to paddle around. As the evening wore on, and the sun started to dip in the sky, I lay on my side on the blanket. Stuffed from the food, I sipped at my favorite beer feeling way more content than I’d ever imagined possible.
It had been a bit awkward at first when we’d all begun to eat, and we’d received several interested stares as people had passed, but Mason had ignored them and kept his focus on River and me. It was more intoxicating than the beer to be the center of all that attention. I took another deep swallow to try and wet my dry mouth.
Would he be that attentive in bed? A blind man could see we had chemistry. Fuck, we’d be able to compete with the Fourth of July fireworks, but was that all it was? Or were the warm feelings that seemed to fill my whole chest when he looked at me like there was only me, saying there could be more?
Exhaling a shaky breath, I put down the em
pty bottle and propped my head in my hand as my elbow rested on the ground. The dwindling sunlight haloed River and Mason at the water’s edge. Her laughter floated on the evening breeze as she splashed water at Mason while he dodged her, his laughter matching hers. His face was alight with real enjoyment as they played.
A wave of grief rose up so fast, I couldn’t stop the sob that got caught in my throat. Would Lizzie be proud of the way I’d raised her child? A tear slid down my cheek and I sat up and swiped at my face with the back of my hand. Stop this shit!
The grief couldn’t be tamed as I mourned what Lizzie was missing. There was a scream before River’s giggle and shouted out, “Mason you’s soakin’ me.”
Mason swept her up into his arms, uncaring that she was drenching him, and buried his face in her neck making her laugh harder. “I think we’re as wet as each other. But I know someone who isn’t,” he said in a stage whisper as his head lifted and he aimed a playful grin in my direction.
My heart stopped for a brief moment and the warmth was back, covering my grief in a protective cocoon. I was so fucked!
My Adam’s apple bobbed repeatedly as Mason strode with purpose toward me, holding my child like a precious gift. How did you fight against someone who treats your baby girl like that?
Would Lizzie have loved Mason? The second the question registered through my buzzing ears, I scrambled to stand up in a panic.
No, no, it’s not love.
Then what is it?
Fuck if I knew.
But love, the kind Mason would want, had no place in my life.
Whatever he read on my face, his smile dimmed for a brief moment before it came back, looking a little more forced.
“Let’s get Poppy,” River shouted as Mason got within reaching distance.
And they did. By the time we’d finished messing around, I was as wet as them. When River couldn’t stop yawning, I called it a night and we packed up. We walked back home in companionable silence, and I didn’t object when Mason took hold of my hand, linking our fingers while carrying River, who’d refused to let him go. By the time we’d gotten back to the house, she was asleep in his arms.