My jaw dropped. Did he just call my ass fat? Motherfucker. “Well, Cassie, your ass must be pretty jealous with all the shit that comes out of your mouth.”
His cocky expression turned sour. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not, Cassie? Does it piss you off? Come on, Cassie. Can’t you take – Fuck!”
I dove to the left to avoid a body slam, but I was about an inch to slow. Cassian caught my shoulder with the full force of his body. If I had thought he was strong before, it was nothing compared to this. My whole body jarred with the impact as I fell to the floor. Pain radiated up my shoulder as I landed but I wasn’t given a chance to escape. Cassian was on me in an instant, straddling me and pinning me to the ground. My hands pushed at the solid wall of his chest, but he was a tank. My attempts to get him off me were pathetic, and he captured my hands easily. In a flash they were pinned beneath his powerful thighs and I had the first real taste of his strength.
His weight settled on my chest and my legs kicked out uselessly behind him. Panic wrapped its icy claws around my heart and breathing became near impossible. He’d completely restrained me between his thighs. He wasn’t even using his hands. His elegantly long fingers rested casually on his legs as he stared down at me with something akin to pure hatred in his eyes.
I guess he really didn’t like being called Cassie after all.
I bucked beneath him, but it was futile. He was an immovable monolith and I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Alright Cassian,” I spat. “You’ve made your point.”
“I haven’t nearly finished making my point, Princess.”
His thighs clenched my ribcage, constricting me like the snake that he was. The hands I had just been admiring found their way to my face. One gripped my chin while the other one covered my nose and mouth.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins. My heart pumped frantically in my chest. I furiously shook my head from side to side to try and loosen Cassian’s grip, but it was unrelenting.
My lungs burned with the lack of oxygen and my heart went from frantic to fucking intense as my body started to let death stake its claim.
I stilled beneath Cassian, drinking in his features, burning them into my memory so I could come back and haunt the fucker. He looked like a glorious angel sent to claim my soul. His bright white hair seemed to glow against his pale skin and his ice blue eyes now shone with disappointment.
Although, I hadn’t a clue what he had to be disappointed about. He was getting what he wanted. Me, gone. Stupid asshole. I hoped this made him happy. I hope he’d skip down the halls with fucking glee now that he’d killed me.
He glared at me with disdain. “Like I said before, Princess, you’re not fucking worthy.”
Wait. Was I really going to let Cassian, of all people, be the one to take me out?
No fucking way.
Anger blossomed in my chest with renewed fury as a new wave of adrenaline surged through me. This was it. My last stand. And if I was going down, so was Cassian.
I threw everything I had at him, my body moving with renewed vigour as I fought with everything I could muster. I wrenched a hand free and a gleam of triumph spurred me on.
I couldn’t move him, but I sure as hell could feed from him. I felt the Sin Reaper claw her way to the surface, wanting to fight tooth and bloody nail alongside me.
I slammed the power at Cassian. There was no finesse to my attack. It was raw and feral. Ruthless.
The shields Cassian so carefully constructed around his mind crumbled in the wake of my brutality and I gorged myself on his dark rage.
Pure energy washed over me, my veins filling with all his pain and anger. I devoured it, his rage so potent, so twisted in fury and suffering, that it gave me the strength to rip his hands away from my face. I had expected surprise to cross his features but all I saw was a gleam of pride.
Sadistic bastard.
He’d deliberately pushed me over the edge to make my demon come out to play. Well, if that’s what he wanted, then I was happy to oblige.
My anger at him was limitless, my fury boosted by the energy I had stolen from him. I threw my hands at his chest, and he catapulted across the room.
So much power. So much glorious power. It tasted fucking delicious.
I could taste all his darkness, all the pain he caused people in the past. The lives he’d taken.
There was so much of it. So much suffering.
I sauntered over to him, rolling my shoulders as I stalked my prey.
“How dare you!” I roared, blasting him with another wave of energy.
His entire body trembled beneath my assault, but he didn’t fight back. There was so much rage and pain buried in his mind that I could have feasted for hours but as I looked down at him, I realised something.
I wasn’t a monster.
This wasn’t me. I didn’t want to become a creature out of a nightmare.
I was better than that.
I shut the connection down immediately and Cassian dropped to the floor like a stone.
My body hummed with everything I’d taken from Cassian. The electricity of it flicked deliciously along my skin and I felt unstoppable. Like I could take on the world and win. But I also felt like a powder keg, seconds away from exploding. Every time I had previously managed to feed my demon I had expended the dark energy. When I fed off Jasper I had used it to fuel my sex drive and when I’d been in the alley and stole Flint’s soul I’d brought Fenris back to life. What would happen if I didn’t expend the dark energy? Even now I couldn’t stand still. I was hopping from foot to foot and shaking my hands. Was my body subconsciously trying to expel the excess energy? Worry scratched at the back of my mind. Perhaps there was a limit to how much energy I could consume from someone. I’d have to ask Levi. He might have some sort of theory. What would happen if I didn’t release the energy? Would it burn through me? God, I still had so many questions it was unreal.
As Cassian got to his feet, I rolled my shoulders, ready to take him on again. It was only as he turned towards me that I noticed his face. Obsidian scales covered his neck above the line of his top and his pupils had elongated into two reptilian slits.
Not only had he pushed me into attacking him, he’d also sat there and taken it without fighting back. His dragon had crept to the surface, and he’d held back. I didn’t know what to make of that, but it made my victory over him taste hollow.
“Why?” I asked, my voice hoarse, defeat creeping into my bones, threatening to douse the flames of anger that still burned bright.
Cassian strode towards me, his eyes aflame with his rage. I stood my ground, even though every instinct screamed at me to step backwards.
“You’re not human. You need to stop thinking like one because it will get you killed.”
“Aww, Cassie, I didn’t know you cared.”
He snarled, looking every bit the ferocious dragon I knew lurked beneath the surface.
He took another step closer so we were toe-to-toe. His predatory gaze met mine in an attempt to intimidate me, but I wasn’t backing down.
“I don’t.”
“Then why’d you hold back?” I challenged.
He tucked his chin and put his hands on his hips, clearly at a loss for an answer.
As I waited, my gaze dipped to the scales still visible above his neck line. Cassian towered over me by a good foot, the top of my head barely scraping his chin, so those gorgeous scales were right in my eye line. They were such a mesmerising shade of black, so deep it looked like the space between the stars. My fingers itched to touch them, but I didn’t want to lose my hand.
Curiosity got the better of me and I reached out my hand towards him. Cassian pulled back slightly but didn’t stop me. I flicked my gaze up towards him and found him studying me intently, his reptilian eyes watching my every move. I continued to move my hand towards him, my movements slow and steady. I didn’t want to scare him off, not when we were finally having a moment that wasn’t laced with a
ggression or sarcasm. Finally, my hand met his neck and I gasped. His scales were bitingly cold and my fingers were suddenly pulled into the depths of an icy lake. A shiver ran up my arm at the abrupt change in temperature.
Cassian stilled beneath my touch and a shaky breath escaped his lips. I continued my exploration. My fingers were still attached to my hand, so I took that as permission to continue. I had expected them to feel rough and coarse, but I was wrong. They were silky smooth, and I felt like I was trailing my hand against the surface of rose petal caught in the viscous clasp of an icy hand. He was magnificent and I longed to see the dragon as a whole. I bet he would be a majestic creature to behold.
I looked back up at Cassian. His eyes, that were so cold and unforgiving, were still fixed on me. My fingers trailed up towards his jaw line, and he swallowed.
Desire, hot and potent, burst through me. It was like a wildfire, unwanted, unbidden but all consuming.
“Lori.” His tone was gruff. This moment between us was torturing him and that made my core throb with need. He closed his eyes, clearly having some sort of mental argument with himself. His scent swam in the air around me, making my mind think of bitter cold mornings caught in the blazing sunshine. Crisp and fresh but lethal. I could feel his cold breath on my cheek as he exhaled, the way his jaw clenched beneath my fingers as he tried to put his emotions back in the box he hid them away in.
When his eyes opened again, I knew that whatever this moment was that had just happened between us, it was now over. He took a step back and heat began to fire pins and needles through my fingers as they grew accustomed to room temperature again.
My gaze dropped to the floor as shame washed over me. I had deliberately and unflinchingly fed my Reaper from his pain. A lingering sense of sorrow and guilt curled through me, but it wasn’t mine. It was Cassian’s.
“What happened to you?” I asked, my eyes searching his for any spark of emotion.
“That’s none of your business,” he seethed. “Just because you reaped my emotions does not mean you get to understand them.”
“Cassian, I…”
“We’re done here,” he snarled before storming towards the exit. I had pulled something to the surface for him, something he had buried deep in his mind. Something he had wanted to forget. He might be a total dick, but I felt his pain. I had consumed how he suffered and now I felt it as if it were my own memory and it was agonising. I wasn’t surprised he closed his emotions off. If I had to feel this every day, it would have driven me insane.
I called out to him before he disappeared. “Don’t let it eat you alive, Cassian.”
His back stiffened at my words. “It already has.”
Then he was gone, leaving me in a tumultuous sea of thoughts. I had always thought him a cold-hearted emotionless shell, but he was a man burdened by so much pain that he was dying a little bit more every day. I wanted to help him, but it wasn’t my place. Hell, he couldn’t stand the sight of me and the thought of trying to reach him on an intimate, emotional level had me cowering.
But more important than my fear of Cassian was the sudden concern I had over the insatiable need to do something. I had this overwhelming sensation burning through me with a ferocity I didn’t understand, and it worried me that I had no idea how to get rid of the dark energy I had just feasted on. With no better option than to just be active, I set off running from one end of the training room to the other. The more I ran, the faster I moved. My speed increased dramatically and soon the room was moving past me in a blur of colours. Whoa. Was I moving as fast as a vampire?
I slammed to a halt, but because my body wasn’t quite used to moving that fast, I pitched forward and fell flat on my face. My arms flailed comically during my decent to the floor, and I was so glad that Cassian wasn’t around to see that. I don’t think I’d ever live it down. I rolled over onto my back as laughter erupted from my throat. It felt good to laugh, like it was a cathartic expulsion of all the crap I seemed to have accumulated over the last few days. But as the laughter died my worry crept back in. A soft caress fluttered across the skin above my left breast and a small smile hovered about my mouth. It was reassuring to know that Orion could sense my feelings and that he was there to offer me comfort when I needed it most. I wondered if he knew what would happen if I consumed too much energy without expelling it. I closed my eyes and tried to reach out to him with my mind, but I was met with silence. I frowned. Why would Orion tell me he was there but then not come to me when I called? I didn’t understand that demon. He seemed to get more complicated the more time we spent together.
I got back up off the floor. I needed to figure Orion out but first I would speak to Levi and see if he had any thoughts on my need to expend the dark energy I consumed. I was sure he’d love something new to work on. But first, I needed food. Cassian had certainly helped me to work up an appetite and at least one good thing was coming out of all this training. My body was definitely more toned, and I could eat a chocolate covered, cream centred doughnut without feeling guilty. Oh, yeah.
I was in the middle of imagining glorious carbs and sugar when I strode into the kitchen and stopped dead.
There was a woman stood at the far end pacing in front of the fireplace. I’d recognise that flaming red hair and those long legs anywhere.
“Rae?”
Chapter 26
LORI
I had rubbed my eyes, but the vision of Rae was still there staring at me like I’d grown two heads.
As if I was the odd thing here?
“Lori? Oh my God, Lori!” All of a sudden, I was being wrapped up in her embrace, and she was squeezing the ever-loving shit out of me. As she pulled back, I saw her eyes were brimming with tears and a genuine smile warmed her face.
God, I had missed her.
“You have no idea how good it is to see your face, babe,” Rae said smilingly.
“Ditto. Um… It’s great to see you but…”
“How am I here?” she added laughingly. “It is a long story. Come on, sit down.”
Rae pulled me down onto the sofa with her and I tucked my knees under me. I had no idea how this was even possible. My best friend was sat in front of me, and she was not losing her marbles over the whole being in a hidden city.
“I suppose I had best start off with my real name. I am Raela Tramareon and I am a witch.”
Shut the front fucking door. My best friend is a witch. I stared at her for a long beat and tried to wrap my head around the fact that my best friend wasn’t the person I thought she was.
“You okay there, Lori? Your face has frozen.”
Her words pulled me out of my reverie. “Yeah, I’m fine. This is just very unexpected. Have you always been a witch?”
“Yep. I was born a witch, so I have always had my powers and I grew up with them. I can’t imagine how you feel, being thrust into this world, and just expected to be able to navigate it.” She took my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“It has been one hell of a clusterfuck, I can tell you. Nothing has been easy. But shit, Rae, how did I not know you were a witch? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I took an oath of silence and I couldn’t tell you. I physically could not form the words that would spill the secret.” She sniffed. “I’m so sorry I lied to you all these years.”
She showed me genuine regret and, while I wanted to be mad at her for lying to me, I also couldn’t forget how much she meant to me. She had pulled me through the worst moments in my life. When I had hit rock bottom, she had been there to pick up all the pieces.
“Was it all a lie?” I asked quietly, not wanting to think that I had put my faith in someone who didn’t even care about me.
“God no. Babe, I am still your Rae. I’m still the girl who will flirt unceremoniously with any hot guy, who can’t mix a decent bloody Mary for shit, and who will be there for you no matter what you need. I just also happen to be able to do magic as well.”
Yep. She was still my best friend, and I was so fri
cking glad she was here. I pulled her into a hug, and we both cried a few joyful tears at our reunion.
I did have one question though. “How did you end up working at Poison?”
She cringed. “I was sent there to keep an eye on you.”
Wait a minute. “By who?”
“De Santis. But as soon as we actually became friends, I stopped reporting in and just stayed where I was. I liked my life and I liked what I was doing. I became Rae Smith in earnest, and I cut ties with the Conclave.”
So, de Santis knew more than he claimed if he had been keeping tabs on me. I just had to figure out what.
“Couldn’t you have picked a better name than Smith?” I laughed. “Not the most imaginative name.”
“Urgh, I know, and I regretted it as soon as I had picked it. But never mind that, tell me everything. I feel like I have missed some pretty important days in your life. You need to start with the eyes though. What is the deal there? I mean, they’re pretty intimidating to look at and scary as fuck.”
That was Rae. Straight to the point and I had missed that bluntness. I told her everything, and I mean everything. I had missed my confidante and it was so nice to be able to talk to her about all the problems I seemed to have collected over the last few days. She laughed, gasped, cringed, and cried with me over my story. She asked so many questions and the hours flew by as we had a proper catch up.
“Oh my God. How many men have you got under your thumb, Lori?”
Heat flushed my skin and I winced. “Don’t. It’s so complicated and I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that I have connections to more than one man. That just isn’t normal.”
“Hey, there’s no such thing as normal. You have to do what is right for you and if these men are ok with that, then boy, have you found some keepers,” she laughed. “I am very jealous.”
“Urgh, but it’s such a mess. I’m bonded to a fallen angel who is literally sex on legs and Jasper is… Well, I have no fucking clue, but we are drawn to each other like magnets. It’s intense and all-consuming and I can’t think straight when I am around either of them.”
To Crave Darkly: Trials Of A Morta: Book One Page 22