by Tina Engel
Here I am in my dream world again, or a vision of the future, I don’t know. I’m here never-the-less. Where is here, I wonder. I’m in the wheat field, so golden in color. The large tree stands there, where Brett was swinging his daughter in a past dream. He’s not there now. It’s just the large tree alone, standing tall and strong.
Behind me I hear the sound of raging waters. It’s calling me home. I feel the sun on my face, so warm and comforting. Looking up into the sky, I can see the stars all around even though it’s day. I see the sun, the moon and the stars all at the same time. How is this possible? I guess it really doesn’t matter. It is all there for me to see.
I know that the waterfall is not far, just to my right, a short walk away. The path that follows the falls down to the ocean below is waiting for me. If I went there, it would look the same as in my other dreams. This place is always the same. More detail is added, as the dreams continue; but the dream is always the same.
I smell the salty sea air, I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin and I hear the tops of the wheat brushing past each other in the gentle breeze that blows.
I turn to face the raging waters of the ocean below. The wave’s crash against the rocks with such force that I sometimes think the rock wall will give way, and I will tumble down into their arms as they wash me to wherever it is they want me to go.
I don’t belong there though, I feel this deep down in my very soul. I must go there, but I don’t belong. There is something that I must do, out there somewhere. There’s a part of this puzzle that I must find before I can continue on to the end of this journey home. He waits for me now with patience. He knows now that I will come. I have to. I have no choice.
I feel a presence behind me, and as it comes to stand next to me, an arm goes gently around my waist. I know it’s my grandmother before I even turn to look. She’s so beautiful and graceful, but also has a look of authority and strength. We stand for a few minutes, just looking out as far as we can see, not able to see the place I must go but know that it’s there waiting for me.
“You have questions granddaughter?” My grandmother said in a hushed voice, as if speaking to loud would destroy the peacefulness around us.
“Yes, I have so many, but fear that I will wake up any moment so want to pick the right questions to ask,” I said in a whisper, fearing that if I spoke to loudly she would be gone.
“I am always with you. I always have been. I will give you the answers to the questions you are ready to hear.”
“He isn’t my father, I know this, but I still must go there, why?”
It was quiet for a moment and then she replied, “Your journey truly started there. It’s best to start at the beginning. Everything that has happened to you so far has been getting you ready to face this next part of your journey home. There are many dangers out there, and you needed all that you have learned so far, to keep you and your companions safe. Hold tight to your lessons learned; don’t let your fear get in the way or it will all be in vain. The answers are all out there, you must just be open to accept them.”
“I’ve seen things here in this place; it changes a little but is always the same. Is this my future or just a place my mind goes to when I can’t take anymore?”
I turned to my grandmother and continued in a more rushed and urgent manner, “Brett, is he a part of my future and who is that little girl, and is Kimberlite a friend or foe; he left me here and...”
My grandmother then put her hand to my mouth gently to stop me from babbling on. “Emilee, There are many paths out in front of you on this journey, and with each path, will come a different outcome. Your friends are truly here to follow you, even though they think otherwise. You are really leading the way. Follow what is inside of you.
“Every one of your companions has a path that they must take too. Theirs intertwine with yours at times, but it is still their own that they must follow. They all have their own stories to tell, and their past affects their future as well as all those around them. It’s like a puzzle with no border.
“Keep your mind open and trust your inner self. You have all the answers. Trust your instincts and don’t let fear stop you. Don’t rush, even though you want to get to the end of this journey. If you do, you will miss a step and then it will take you longer to get to where you need to go.
“Those who are with you; some will be there at the end of your journey, and some will not. The ends of all of our journeys are different. You are just a small part in some of their existences.
“Don’t assume before you get all the facts first, but stay guarded with everything around you. Every life form on this precious planet that you live on today has emotions, and those emotions can get in the way of truth.
“You, Emilee, more than others, allow these emotions to cloud your logic because you are not yet done with your transformation. We need our emotions to keep us sympathetic to others, but we also need our logic so as not to get trapped on their path; stopping us from continuing to reach our destination.
“You have been given gifts from those around you, and you will receive more. All of these gifts have their own unique purpose. When all is said and done and you have been blessed with them all, you will fully understand their true value as individuals, and combined as one.”
Grandmother stopped talking then, and turned back to face the great ocean out in front of us. I did the same and we spoke no more.
I could feel Rose and Lily behind me and somehow knew they were up in that tree. I could hear the swing moving but not from the wind; it was Brett pushing Katie. I felt a negative energy emitting from the cave entrance just behind the section of the waterfall where I had seen Stephan’s face. I felt Kimberlite somewhere down below; his emotions were that of sadness and confusion. There were more feelings around me that I didn’t understand, but knew that I would in time.
In my mind I heard her say, “Don’t rush it. Don’t jump ahead. It is all there for you to find when the time is right. It is all within you my precious granddaughter.”
Then it was all gone, I was there in my bunk. I lay there quietly, trying to remember everything she had told me. Something’s made sense but other things were so vague that they could have had several meanings. I would have to decide what the meanings were when the time came.
Chapter 13
Goodbyes,
They represent an ending
But they also represent a beginning.
Don’t be sad,
You will see them one day.
It was a new day, and we would be entering the port of Westfield, New York, as this journey continued. I needed to take a swim before we got too close to the bay, with people around.
Brett was just outside my cabin door. I could feel the vibration; the connection that was between us. He was waiting to accompany me on my last swim in Andean’s great lake. Would I see this lake again? Would I see Andean again? Was Andean just a small part on my canvas of life? So many, come and go, but always leave a mark in my soul.
I got up and put on my human cover. I would remove it when I entered the waters. Then the true me, would take over. As I opened the door, I heard Rose say in a whisper, “No foolishness, Princess. Let’s have no drama today.”
I turned, looking at Rose. She had a sleepy smile on her face and turned over to continue sleeping.
As I turned to look at Brett, he had an exhausted look on his face. This journey was wearing on everyone. Brett smiled, as if to let me know that he was fine. He knew what I was thinking and he was where he wanted to be.
Brett reached out his hand and I took it eagerly. We went up the steps and out to the fresh, cool morning; it was still dark, but we could see just over the horizon, the sun, eager to rise.
I looked up at the control room and Adam gave me a little wave, letting me know it was safe to swim. Looking down, there was Andean waiting patiently.
I dropped my human glamour and jumped into the lake. I think this surprised both Brett and Andean. I usually slid
in carefully with both their help. I didn’t need help, I just wanted in the water.
Brett followed as I swam away from the boat. It was so beautiful, colorful and alive. Everything was alive down there. Everything had a purpose. It all communicated and worked together as one.
But this time, there was something else down there that I hadn’t seen before. There was darkness. I felt it. I saw it slithering in amongst the plants. I saw the animals trying to avoid it; sometimes they were able to, but other times they couldn’t.
I didn’t ask what it was; I knew. It was the pollutants from the human world that spread in the waters of this planet that we all called home. They didn’t understand yet, just how their actions affected us all. They would though; my job would be to teach them.
Even with this new sense that I had, it was still so amazingly alive and vivacious, down there in the underwater world. They all had a purpose, be it predator or prey. They all accepted their fate with pride and joy, knowing that their existence did matter.
As I swam, I let the water soak into my skin; every pore drinking. My lungs accept the waters like liquid air; with every breathe I took, my body felt stronger, my eyes saw clearer and I could hear more voices from farther away.
If I didn’t belong out in the oceans deep, why then I wondered did I need the waters to strengthen me like this. I guessed it didn’t matter right then. I just had to do what felt right.
Brett was behind me, not feeling stressed or anxious. He stayed close, but realized I needed my space. He wasn’t in my mind, respecting this time that I needed.
Andean was down below, keeping a close watch on what was going on around us. He communicated with the water animals and plants, always at attention, always aware of everything in his waters. He still felt responsible for me being captured by the great beast that belonged in the oceans. The fact that Stephan DeMill was able to enter his lake, unbeknownst to him, was a great failure in his eyes.
Andean watched the dark, creeping along the floor of his waters, slithering through the plankton and around the rocks. It had been there for years, some times worse and sometimes better. I felt his worry, wondering if the human population would learn before it was too late. He hoped I would complete my journey and teach all to respect our home, before it was too late. He hoped that I was the one; they all hoped that I was the one.
As I looked around, it seemed different than before. I didn’t shimmer like I did the other times that I swam. I looked to Brett, and he was just the Fey that I saw above water when we weren’t in our human glamour. Looking around, it was so beautiful and full of life but not in the shimmering translucent way that it was before.
Life goes on, everything has a purpose and it was so beautiful, but it seemed like just an average day for these water creatures. I looked down at my hands and feet, still webbed, so I was in my fey form, but not the form as before. Everything was just a bit different.
Brett swam over to me then. “Emilee, you aren’t crazy.” He said, with a chuckle and a grin. “This is the dimension that we fey live most of our lives in. Just as humans live their lives in the world of the living. The dimension that you had been seeing before, was Nirvana, the place where we all will go at the end of our fey existence. Remember, I told you we can enter that realm for a short time, but that is where we all want to end up spending eternity when it is our time.”
“Why was I able to go to that realm without seeing this one first?” I asked.
Brett shrugged his shoulders with no answer that he could give. He said then, “This is the world that we will need to go to soon, so it’s good that you can enter it. You do seem to be able to do things at odd times, without trying. Try to leave this dimension and enter the human’s world, in Andean’s lake, as a human would see it.”
I thought about it and looking around, the lake became dark and colorless. Like a black and white movie. No, it wasn’t black and white but compared to the other world that coincided with this human world, it was black and white.
Brett was still fey because he wanted me to see him that way, but Andean was a large walleye. All the living things that were alive and busy before, were now still and dull. The fish still swam but didn’t communicate as they did before. It was sad somehow, but I knew it was just a façade; just a cover for the humans to see.
“I want to go back to the world where I belong. This human world is colorless and sad; they are all blind to the beauty around them.” I said.
I had no problem going back to the fey world, and looking down at Andean, he smiled and came up to where Brett and I were.
“Princess, you’re doing well. I like you in our world better that the humans but be careful; there are dangers in both dimensions. Stay in one or the other. Bouncing around like that makes it hard for us to stay with you.”
He then took my hand, and putting it on his forehead in the traditional parting gesture, said his goodbyes. Andean thanked me for allowing him to be a part of my journey and hoped that our paths would meet again one day.
I felt the sadness that I knew was coming from him, but at the same time I felt a sense of pride. He was a part of my story and I guess I was a part of his.
Andean and Brett said their goodbyes also and Andean swam away, down to the very bottom of the murky lake; the human’s lake.
“Can we stay in the fey’s dimension and finish this journey? I asked Brett, as I turned to face him. “Will the humans not see us in your world?”
“In time Princess; we will travel there in time. It looks like it will be soon.”
We swam to the boat and found on the deck, my supply of algae. We both put on our glamour, as we saw a boat passing relatively close to us. I scooped up the algae and down below we went. We took the algae to the kitchen and then went our separate ways to get dried off and ready for the day.
It would be a day filled with new adventures in the great state of New York. I was excited and a bit fearful at the same time. What would be there waiting for me, or better yet, who. Stephan was there just around the corner, every time. He wanted me so desperately, but why? This thought scared me too, more so, because I feared that if he got hold of me, I would never get away.
As I entered my room; there were Lily and Rose, waiting, probably not real patiently. Well, Lily was as always acting as if she didn’t care, but I knew deep down inside, she did. Rose tried not to be anxious, but I could see right through her. She was nervous too, about getting onto dry land and what was ahead for us.
We packed up our belongings, put on fresh human coverings and headed to the dining area. It was just Brett, Adam, Rose and I, eating. Lily disappeared down below, I assume, for her last meal on the boat.
I asked where Jordan was. Adam, with a grave look, just remarked that he was busy and wouldn’t be joining us on the rest of the trip.
Trevor brought our breakfast and my mug of the hot stuff that was especially for me. I took a sip and spit it out immediately. It was the most horrific tasting thing I had ever tasted. Everyone looked at me with surprise, wondering what was wrong. I was embarrassed by the display of rudeness, but it was truly an involuntary act.
I told them that it tasted awful and asked Trevor if he had done anything different to it. He had a hurt look on his face as he told me that he made it just the same as always.
Brett piped in then before I could hurt poor Trevor’s feelings any further.
“Emilee, it may be that you don’t need this concoction anymore. I told you it was just something that those who needed it, would need just for a short time while their bodies grew accustomed to their surroundings. Maybe you’re done changing.”
I handed the mug back to Trevor with a sheepish smile. He was no longer offended, realizing that he hadn’t made it wrong. We all ate in silence, not really knowing quite what to talk about.
When we were done eating, I asked in a quiet voice so as not to let anyone hear, even though we were alone, “How will Queen Widow get off the boat?”
Adam reassu
red me, I didn’t need to worry about that. It was all taken care off.
I then asked where Jordan Davis was. Adam was reluctant to say but with my persistent nudging, he told me that Jordan was in his cabin.
I stood and started to leave, when Brett took hold on my hand. “Emilee, he’s been through enough, let him be.” He said, with kindness in his voice.
“I need to speak to him. I won’t be cruel.” I said, feeling a bit hurt.
Brett realized that I was hurt by his insinuation that I was going to cause him more pain. He stood, still holding my hand, as he reassured me that wasn’t what he was insinuating.
“I can’t leave without talking to him. Please, there is something pushing me towards him and I have to follow my instinct. I need to see him.”
Brett let go of my hand and I left the mess hall, feeling a bit nervous. With everything I’d been through, why would this make me nervous?
When I got to Adam’s cabin, I saw out of the corner of my eye, movement. Turning, I saw a spider crawl under the door of my cabin. I stood there for a moment, looking around for more. They aren’t supposed to show themselves, I thought. Then it dawned on me that it must be Tiny, Rose’s friend. This was something I didn’t need to fret about. Queen Widow would have to take care of her crew. I had enough on my plate.
I knocked on the door quietly, but when there was no answer, I turned the knob and the door opened. I pushed it open slowly and called Jordan’s name.
I walked in and saw him standing at a porthole, looking out. He didn’t turn to look at me, but said quietly, “I’ve been waiting for you. I thought maybe you changed your mind.”
Jordan turned around and walked over to Adam’s desk and sat down.
“Please sit, Princess.” He said as he pointed towards a chair across from him.
I did so and we both just sat there quietly for a few minutes.
“What kind of fey are you?” I asked. “You have wings. Brett and Adam don’t. Rose does, and Eagle of course.”