by Jim Loehr
Once upon a time, when Raymond would get home from work all wound up, he wouldn’t think about putting his children, particularly his youngest, his son, to sleep. Now he does it more regularly. He wants to talk with him about all kinds of things, and does. The conversations he and his wife have are more engaging. While he doesn’t at all consider himself a finished product as father, husband, employee, or human being, Raymond is happier and, because of the rituals he has adopted—which he follows regularly, seamlessly, automatically—he feels more in control of that happiness.
Raymond’s transformation is full-blown, evidenced in all four dimensions of the energy pyramid:
physical: weight loss, improvements in cholesterol and other indices
emotional: improved relations with his family, particularly his son
mental: greater engagement and productivity at work, and energy and approach that have inspired colleagues
spiritual: his ability to deal with his cancer scare by continuing to live in the moment
Recently, when I asked Raymond to name the most important lesson he learned from his experience with us, he said, “It doesn’t take an extraordinary person to do this. I’m an ordinary person but any ordinary person can have extraordinary results. I’m leaving my post after twelve years and recently there was a gathering for me, and my colleagues were talking about what they would remember about me. So many of them said it was how extraordinarily energetic and alive I seemed. But I’m just an ordinary guy who had the benefit of doing this. And because of my progress, I have such tremendous confidence now. Being able to successfully ritualize what I learned made me trust myself even more.”
It has been nearly four years since Raymond has been through the program. He has translated all he learned into habits, ways of being. What he learned has become a way of life for him. He believes that his chances of seeing and knowing his grandchildren have never been better.
Acknowledgments
First, to my parents, Mary and Con, for infusing my life story with love and meaning.
To my three sons, Mike, Pat, and Jeff, who continue to be my greatest teachers.
To Andy Postman, for contributing his brilliant writing skills, enthusiasm, and intelligence to this project. Andy, you’ve been a joy to work with and represent a consummate professional.
To Jack Groppel, my business partner, for your support, loyalty, and cherished friendship since the beginning.
To Chris Osorio, for your unwavering confidence and loyalty, for your friendship and for your uncommon wisdom and clear thinking through it all.
To Renate Gaisser, for your relentless pursuit of excellence and timeless contributions over the many years.
To Becky Hoholski, for your help with the manuscript, attention to detail, and brilliant ability to manage chaos.
To all the HPI staff of whom I am so proud—most especially Steve Page, Raquel Malo, Chris Jordan, and Lorenzo Beltrame.
To all the athletes who have touched my life and formed the basis of my thinking.
A special thanks to Tom Gullikson, for his cherished friendship and support since the beginning of my career.
To the countless great thought leaders and researchers who have inspired my thinking.
To the thousands of clients who have served as a living laboratory, whose stories of honesty, courage, insight, and compassion have taught me so much about the how and why of human energy. It has been my privilege and honor to have the opportunity to help you in some way to complete your most important mission.
A special thanks to Barbara Fredrickson, Bob Quinn, Kim Cameron, Sue Ashford, Jane Dutton, Gretchen Spreitzer and the entire staff of the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business.
To Stephen R. Covey, Marty Seligman, Stephen M.R. Covey, Fred Harburg, Will Marre, Admiral Ray Smith, Jody Taylor, and Leo Greenstone.
To my terrific agent, Loretta Fidel, and to Fred Hills and Dominick Anfuso at the Free Press for supporting and believing in this book from its original conception; and to Wylie O’Sullivan at Free Press for her generous efforts.
To my brother Tom and my sister Jane (Sister Mary Margaret Loehr), whose depth of character and compassion are constant sources of inspiration to me.
To special friends Jeff Balash, Randy Gerber, Paul Hancock, Tim Heckler, David Leadbetter, Peter Moore, Phebe Farrow Port, Tore and Eddy Resavage, Paul Roetert, Peter Scaturro, Jeff Sklar, and Dennis and Pat Van der Meer.
Finally to Vickie and Bob Zoellner and to Gordon Uehling for making the dream possible. I will never forget.
Endnotes
Introduction
“The human brain, according to a recent…”: Robin Marantz Henig, “Darwin’s God,” The New York Times, March 4, 2007.
“Kirk Perry, VP at Procter & Gamble…”: Cait Murph, “The CEO Workout,” Fortune, July 10, 2006.
One That’s Your Story?
“As corporate consultant Annette Simmons says in her book…”: Simmons, The Story Factor, Basic Books, 2001, p. 54.
From “According to a USA Today survey…” through next many statistics: Jerry Langdon, “Some Workers Not Using Their Vacation, Survey Says,” USA Today, March 1, 2001; www.usatoday.com/careers/news/usa039.htm
The John Liner Review, Volume 11, Number 3, Fall 1997, Standard Publishing Corp., citing a 1990 study by Foster Higgins & Co., Princeton, NJ. Princeton Survey Research Associates
“Your Job May Be Killing You,” a Q&A with James K. Harter, Gallup Management Journal, April 13, 2006
“Exercise Protects Against Cognitive Decline,” presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Neurology and reported by Reuters Consumer Health Bulletin, May 9, 2001, and also reported in IHRSA Wellness Report, May 12, 2001
CCH Unscheduled Absence Survey (1999); www5.ncci.com/ncci/web/news/ infostop/safework/sw08_2000_5a.htm “Breakthrough Ideas for 2006,” Harvard Business Review, February 2006
“Equating Health and Productivity,” Business & Health® Archive, September 1997, quoting Kent Peterson, past-president of the American College of Occupational Medicine
Jones et al., 1988, and Barth, 1990; Lippe, 1990; and Neary, et al., 1992; referenced at agency.osha.eu.int/publications/reports/stress.php3?section+11
Paul Hemp, “Presenteeism: At Work—But Out of It,” Harvard Business Review, October 2004, pp. 49–58 Reichheld and Sasser, “Zero Defection: Quality Comes to Services,” Harvard Business Review, September–October, pp. 105–111.
“Yet as Michael O’Donnell, editor-in-chief…”: Sarah Lunday, “A Place Where They Don’t Dread Coming to Work.” The New York Times, June 24, 2001.
“According to a Gallup poll, people who have a best friend at work…”: Tom Rath, Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without, Gallup Press, 2006.
Two The Premise of Your Story, the Purpose of Your Life
“A mother of four quoted in Dan McAdams’s book…”: McAdams, The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By; as quoted in “Self-Portrait in a Skewed Mirror” by Carlin Flora, Psychology Today, January/February 2006, p. 64.
“‘To find integrity in life,’ writes Dan McAdams…”: Flora, ibid., p. 66.
“A December 2006 article in the Harvard Business Review…”: Extreme Jobs: The Dangerous Allure of the 70-Hour Work Week, by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Carolyn Bruce Lee; in Harvard Business Review, December 2006, about a research project initiated in 2004 by the Hidden Brain Drain Task Force chaired by Lee.
Three How Faithful a Narrator Are You?
“While each life story is unique…”: Flora, “Self-Portrait,” p. 62.
“The benefit of worry…”: Susan Mineka and Richard Zinbarg, “A Contemporary Learning Theory Perspective on the Etiology of Anxiety Disorders,” American Psychologist, January 2006, p. 20.
“But those naturally given to feeling off balance…”: ibid.
“One, identified by psychologists Michael Scheier and Charles Carver as ‘dispositional optimism’…”: Scheier and Carver, “Attention an
d Self-Regulation: A Control-Theory Approach to Human Behavior,” Springer, 1981.
“A 1987 study by Neil Weinstein…”: Weinstein, “Unrealistic Optimism About Susceptibility to Health Problems,” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 481.
“Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading voices…”: Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Simon & Schuster, 1995.
“Barbara Fredrickson from the University of North Carolina and Marcial Losada from Catholic University of Brazil…”: Frederickson and Losada, “Positive Affect and the Complex Dynamics of Human Flourishing,” American Psychologist, 60(2005), pp. 678–686.
Four Is It Really Your Story You’re Living?
“We are, after all, easily indoctrinated, amazingly easily…”: Edgar Schein uses the term “frozen” in his book Process Consultation, Volume 2, Addison-Wesley, 1987, pp. 92–93.
“If I, as a young woman, had had someone explain to me…”: Deborah Layton, Seductive Poison, Anchor Books, 1998, p. 299.
“While some indoctrinations, according to psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Susan Andersen…”: Zimbardo and Andersen, “Understanding Mind Control: Exotic and Mundane Mental Manipulations,” quoting study by Schwitzgebel & Schwitzgebel, 1973; Varela, 1971, Weinstein, 1990; in Recovery From Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse, edited by Michael Langone, p. 104.
“It has been pointed out that the opening salvo in Mark Antony’s…”: Zimbardo-Ebbesen, Influencing Attitudes and Changing Behavior, Addison-Wesley, 1970, p. 12.
“Of course, some organizations do use…”: Robert Farley, “Scientologists’ Policy Toward Outcasts Under Fire,” St. Petersburg Times, June 26, 2006, p. B5.
“‘Disordered brain function is indeed easily reproduced…”: Denise Winn, The Manipulated Mind, Malor Books, 2000, pp. 12–13, 15.
“I finally decided that religion was altogether bunk…”: Edward Hunter, BrainWashing in Red China, Vanguard Press, 1951.
“‘It is so easy to become our surroundings’…”: Layton, Seductive Poison.
“‘Our brains are valuable forgers’…”: Daniel Gilbert, Stumbling on Happiness, Knopf, 2006, p. 89.
Six The Three Rules of Storytelling
“In 2006, thirty-five years after this initial study, researchers Ed Diener, Richard Lucas, and Christie Scollon…”: Ed Diener, Richard E. Lucas, and Christie Napa Scollon, “Beyond the Hedonic Treadmill,” American Psychologist, May–June 2006, p. 309.
“The inevitably exciting conclusion of this later study…”: ibid., p. 312.
“All good stories, says Herminia Ibarra…”: Ibarra, Working Identity, Harvard Business School Press, 2002, p. 17.
“Many turning points are subtle, recognizable only in hindsight; they ‘tend to be much more obvious in the telling than in the living’…”: Herminia Ibarra and Kent Lineback, “What’s Your Story?” Harvard Business Review, January 2005, p. 68.
“During our life we often experience periods when we seem to lose our sense…”: Robert Quinn, Change the World, Jossey-Bass, 2000, p. 136.
“As Herminia Ibarra says in her book…”: Ibarra, Working Identity, p. 36.
“As Edward Hunter says…”: Hunter, Brain-Washing in Red China, Vanguard Press, 1951, p. 16.
Seven It’s Not About Time
“As he took account…”: Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life, by Eugene O’Kelly, McGraw-Hill, 2005, p. 132.
“A study published in MIT’s Sloan Management Review in 2003…”: Rob Cross, Wayne Baker, and Andrew Parker, “What Creates Energy in Organizations?,” M.I.T. Sloan Management Review, Summer 2003, p. 52.
“The desire to work for or with energizers seems to account for our last finding about energy and performance…”: ibid.
“People are energized in interactions, says the study…”: ibid., p. 55.
Eight Do You Have the Resources to Live Your Best Story?
“According to Charles Czeisler, a leading authority on sleep, 80,000 drivers…”: “Sleep Deficit: The Performance Killer, A Conversation with Harvard Medical School Professor Charles A. Czeisler,” Harvard Business Review, October 2006.
“A study published in the January 2006 issue…”: ACE Fitness Matters, January/February 2006, p. 12.
“More proof, once again, that good health is good business—even though far fewer than half of all major U.S. companies actively encourage exercise among their workforce…”: ibid.
“Interns who work 24-hour shifts increase the chance of stabbing themselves…”: Czeisler, “Sleep Deficit.”
“The risk of crashing a vehicle following a 24-hour shift increases…”: ibid.
Nine Indoctrinate Yourself
“According to two studies on brain function…”: R. F. Baumeisterand K. L. Sommer, “What Do Men Want? Gender Differences and Two Spheres of Belongingness,” Psychological Bulletin, 122 (1997); John Bargh and Tanya Chartrand, “The Unbearable Automaticity of Being,” American Psychologist, 54 (1999).
Eleven More Than Mere Words: Finishing the Story, Completing the Mission
“We abdicate responsibility for our own lives…”: Joost Merloo in Denise Winn, The Manipulated Mind, Malor Books, 2000, p. 93.
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