by Jamie Knight
“That’s a bad word.” Bobby gave me the pointed look I always gave him whenever he was being a little heathen.
Aiden wasn’t totally wrong when he said Bobby was like his mother. After spending every day of his life together, the little guy has picked up a few things from me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll find some way to make up for it.”
“Ice cream?”
I snorted a laugh.
He’d already been treated so much today after getting kicked out of school for bad behavior. I didn’t want Bobby thinking this was what he could expect when he’s done something wrong, but he was a smart boy. I was sure when we had our conversation later tonight, he’d understand what he’d done wrong. And it wouldn’t hurt to have it over a bowl of ice cream.
“Okay, ice cream, but only one scoop tonight since you weren’t a very good boy today.”
“Okay.” He seemed a little down, but I could see a hint of a smile on his lips. Bobby was thinking about the ice cream he was going to eat tonight, I knew it. That child had my entire heart.
“It’s time to drop you off at Grandma’s baby. I have to get back to work.” He nodded.
While I was talking with my son, Aiden got the check. He threw some cash down on the table that was way beyond how much our meal cost. Aiden always liked being generous. I knew his mother wasn’t a fan of his large tips or giving twenties (sometimes bills larger than that) to homeless people. She would say he was throwing money away. I always looked at it as Aiden just paying his good fortune forward. It was something that endeared him to me. I was glad that part of his character remained fully intact.
I made sure we had everything. Bobby was notorious for leaving behind at least one thing. I knew there wouldn’t be any time for me to stop by the diner tonight if my son left the smallest of trinkets. When I was satisfied with my triple check, the three of us walked out together.
“So, you’re taking him to…”
“My mother’s. I texted her before picking him up, so she is expecting us.”
“Oh, I’ll follow behind you guys.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded. Aiden was spending a whole lot of time with Bobby today. I was still processing how to feel about that. He had to suspect something at this point. Why else would he be following the two of us around? Maybe he still wanted to talk, which was a daunting prospect.
We drove to my mother’s house, and I dropped Bobby off. She was a real godsend. Mom was one of the few people who knew how to deal with Bobby’s moods. He still had moments, he had them with everyone, which was why I had to get him from my mother’s that night, but she just knew how to deal with him for the most part.
“Thank you for taking him such short notice. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course! We’re going to have some fun today!”
The two of them went inside, and I turned back around to see Aiden hanging out in his car. Thankfully, he didn’t try to drop off Bobby with me. That would be quite a lot to explain to Mom. I was doing my best to keep the current situation contained. There was a high chance he wouldn’t be here tomorrow, and I wasn’t about to get my whole life wrapped up around him on a whim.
I walked over to his car and put myself in the passenger seat.
“Hey.”
“Thanks for lunch today. Bobby had a lot of fun.”
“I could tell. He really inhaled that stack of pancakes.”
I had no idea how I managed to miss my son eating pancakes like a literal monster, but there was a lot on my mind.
“Yeah, he really loves those pancakes. If he could eat them every day, I’m sure he would.”
“I was hoping we could talk.” Aiden dropped that little statement, and it went right to my chest. I wasn’t ready to talk. I knew that the second he tried in the diner. And, if we were to have this conversation, I’d rather not do it in his car.
“I have to get back to work. My friend is covering for me, but the clinic is always getting busy, and I can’t expect her to work my whole shift like that. I also gotta file some paperwork as well. Long day… ahead.”
It wasn’t a total lie. I was supposed to get myself back to work after picking Bobby up. I was already an hour behind. I knew Marnie wouldn’t mind, but I hated to put her on the spot like that. Plus, being around Aiden made my brain short circuit. I needed some distance from him, so I could think about what to do — with Bobby, with him, with this whole situation.
“Yeah, of course. But we can talk later?”
“Yeah, sure. Later.”
I got out of the car before anything more could be said. I made sure not to look back as I started my car and made my way to the clinic. Maybe it would be better to come clean to Aiden. I wouldn’t have to worry about all of this stuff if everything was out in the open. And, who knows, maybe it would all just be alright. Bobby and Aiden got on so well.
But one, one-hour lunch didn’t mean that he wanted to be a father. And, if I told Aiden, then I would have to tell Bobby. Oh, good God, Bobby! He has been such a handful. I loved my boy, but there was no way to know how he would take the news that Aiden was his father.
I’d never lied to him about his dad, but I hadn’t exactly told the truth either. Whenever he asked questions, I would manage to keep it vague. But he was getting tired of the non-answers. I could tell. It wouldn’t be a good idea to have a father pop out of nowhere. What if it made him even more disruptive? This was the kind of thing that could set him back years. Sure, it would be nice to have Aiden back on my life. Despite what I would tell myself, I still loved the fool. But I had a kid to worry about. I couldn’t just think about my happiness. I had to think about his as well.
And Bobby’s kind of been making progress talking with the counselor. Yeah, there was a setback today, but overall, Bobby had been doing a whole lot better If I threw a wrench in that right now, I’d never forgive myself.
No, I was going to leave things as is. It had been hard, but we were getting by. Bobby and I were going to be just fine, the two of us.
Chapter Ten - Aiden
Reagan never got back to me about having our little chat. I couldn’t keep following her around. Her not wanting to talk to me should have been the hint I needed to get the fuck out of Dodge, but I didn’t want to give up like I did all those years ago. One of my biggest regrets was that I didn’t fight harder for her.
I was on the verge of rushing out and abandoning my entire life to find her after reading that letter, but my mother convinced me that that plan was stupid. It was all right there, in Reagan’s handwriting, how little she wanted to be with me. Mom told me not to throw my life away for someone who didn’t even want me. Those words cut straight through my heart.
But what if she was wrong? Reagan clearly still had some form of feelings for me, or else we wouldn’t have fucked like that in the club.
The other reason why I was more reluctant to give up was because of Bobby. The kid has been on my mind. Signs kept pointing to him being my kid, but Reagan wouldn’t have hidden that from me. I was sure if Bobby was my child, Reagan would have told me long ago.
“What’s bothering you, man?” Darren came over to the bar at Club Taboo and sat next to me.
The club was getting ready to open for the night, so the only people there were other staff members. Darren was a significant investor and a good friend, so I’d typically let him in before operating hours. I hadn’t known he was there that day, though. One of the workers must have let him in.
“What are you talking about?” I sat up straight. I had been leaning onto the bar, nursing my drink. I probably looked depressed.
“Clearly, something is bothering you, Aiden. You look sad, which is very new for you.”
“I don’t know, Darren. I’ve found myself in a very complicated situation, and I’m trying to figure out what to do next.”
“Do you want to tell me what the situation is? Maybe I could help.” He waved to th
e bartender, who immediately brought him a whiskey on the rocks.
I wasn’t sure what Darren could do, but it wouldn’t hurt to have an outside perspective.
“Do you remember that girl I was talking to the night the club opened?”
“Yeah, I do,” he chuckled. “Sorry if I ruined the vibe going on between you two. Sometimes I just put my foot in my mouth.”
“Trust me, you didn’t ruin anything.” No one could mess things up between Reagan and me as much as Reagan and myself. “Our whole relationship is kind of weird. We dated a little under ten years ago before she just dumped me for another guy, the only thing that explained it was a note she left. I thought I was done with her, but all that shit happened the other night, and I just found out she has a son.”
“She’s got a kid?” Darren asked. He raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink. “That’s pretty serious. Does it have anything to do with you?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “He’s the right age, I guess, but Reagan never contacted me about any kid. I didn’t think she was the type to do that, but I also thought she wouldn’t run off the way she did, so maybe I never really knew her.”
“Have you tried asking her?”
“She always dodges the question. I’m not sure I’m going to get a straight answer out of her.”
Without a straight answer from Reagan, there was no way for me to know. There could be so many reasons why she wasn’t just telling me. The biggest one was that Bobby was my kid, but she could also be avoiding having to tell me about that guy she left me for. I couldn’t pinpoint what was going on without more information.
“Maybe you could find out without Reagan’s help?”
“How?”
“You could hire a PI. They’d have access to certain files and contacts that you don’t. A PI could get you the answers you’re looking for.”
Hiring a private investigator had never crossed my mind. They’d be better at this stuff than I was, knowing where to look or who to ask. I had been hoping that I could just talk with Reagan, but that didn’t seem like it was going to be a possibility, and I really needed to know if Bobby was my son.
“Yeah, maybe that will work. I don’t know the first thing about finding a PI, though.”
Darren held up his finger while he took out his wallet. “I actually have the guy for you.” He pulled out a business card and handed it to me. “He actually owns an agency with his sister, so you might get one of them or a new PI that they’ve hired. Everyone that works there does top-notch work, so whoever you get will do a stand-up job.”
“Yeah?” I took the card from him, looking it over. “McWeaver, McWeaver, and Associates.”
If Darren was saying they were worth checking out, then I was more than happy to give these guys a try.
“They’re great, I promise.”
“I’ll give them a call.”
Maybe then I could finally have some peace of mind. If Bobby wasn’t mine, I could move on. It probably wouldn’t be the best idea to get involved with Reagan and her kid then. I’d always be thinking of that other guy she left me for.
But Bobby was a pretty great kid. I liked spending time with him at the diner, eating pancakes together. And if he was mine, I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I had already missed so much.
There was no reason to speculate right then. Once I had my answers, then I figure out what to do. I just needed to give it all a little more time.
Chapter Eleven - Reagan
It had been a crazy couple of days. I managed to keep most of the details about the past week from Marnie. I couldn’t avoid telling her how the night at the club went since I’d already started that tale, but everything else I basically kept to myself. I was still working through it all in my mind. Bobby has asked a few questions about my friend who bought him the pancakes, but nothing too serious.
“Sleep well, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I kissed him on the nose, and Bobby wrinkled it up before turning over in his bed to go to sleep. I got up and left him to his dreams.
Whenever I found myself alone, that when it was hardest to keep back thoughts of Aiden. Patients at the clinic and Bobby were great ways to keep my mind occupied. I spent as much time as I could busying myself, but there always came a moment when I had to leave work or put my son to bed.
Aiden still had that way of taking over my every waking thought. When we dated, I was consumed by our relationship. He was the only boy I ever loved.
“Oh boy, Reagan.”
I ran my hand down my face. It had been a long day, and a bath was exactly what I needed. I set out pajamas for me to wear after my bath. My bones were aching, and some steamy water would do the trick. Nursing was a lot of work, but I loved it.
I ran the water, getting it to the perfect temperature. Quickly, I undressed and slid myself into the bath. It felt so nice being surrounded by warm water. I made it into a bubble bath, so the suds had gotten up to my breasts and shoulders. Being along with my thoughts in the bathroom didn’t help because Aiden came creeping right back into my mind.
It had been a nice trip down memory lane these past few days. Yeah, the end of the relationship wasn’t pleasant, but Aiden and I had so many good times. He always knew how to make anything fun as long as we were together.
And then there was the sex. God, it was explosive. That night at the club was just a sliver of the passion we shared. Aiden would tie me up and take me almost every day. He learned so many new knots when we were together. He loved to show them off, trying a new one every time.
“Oh, Aiden,” I whispered to myself, running my hands over my suds covered body.
Another thing he loved was making me beg. One time, he tied me to my bed and kept getting super close to me but refused to touch me until he was satisfied with my pleas. It was the kind of torture he was fond of. I was a fan of it myself, not going to lie.
I was running my fingers over my collarbone. Aiden knew how to move between a delicate and rougher touch. My hands descended down my body. A rule of mine had been to never do this, touch myself while I thought about my ex-boyfriend, but it had been a weird couple of days.
I kind of wished Aiden was with me right then. Not necessarily because I wanted to be in a relationship again, I wasn’t even letting my thoughts get that far. Maybe it was one of those ‘one last times’ type deals. I wanted Aiden to tie me up and make me beg for him. I wanted him on top of me and inside of me, and that desire was making my head hurt.
My pussy throbbed with these thoughts flying through my head. I slid a finger inside myself, wanting to relieve the pressure. It felt so good thinking about Aiden touching me while I touched myself. The only better feeling would be if he was here in person, but I could take the second-best option for now.
I grabbed my breast with my other hand, massaging it while I moved my hand back and forth. Aiden used to throw me over his knee and spank me as part of our foreplay. He would call me a naughty girl and remind me that my ass was his. He would say all the things he could to set me on fire.
I kept going, adding another finger inside my pussy and then another. The water was sloshing around as I did my best to keep my entire body from slipping underneath the bubbles. With my thumb, I traced my clit, feeling the tight bud tense as my core clamped down.
“Fuck,” I cursed silently as I came. My body shuddered underneath the bubbly surface.
I grabbed onto the bathtub’s edge for some stability. As I came down, I could feel the tiredness descend into my bones and my mind. I’d been dealing with so much already, but maybe I’d convinced myself I was in control. With Aiden back in my life, that illusion faded away. Everything was slipping away from me.
Bobby was still young and looked up to me, but what was going to happen when he got older. I didn’t want my sweet boy to become distant. I could see that that had happened to his father. Was I to blame? So much could have happened between wh
en I left and when I saw him in the club, but those were the last two points of contact I had regarding the old Aiden and this new version of him.
His mother said I would end up being an insignificant footnote in his life. If she was wrong, then I ran away for nothing.
I didn’t want to think of what could have been. All that would do was make me upset. We were in the present, and what I needed to do was find a solution to my current predicament. I had decided days ago to not involve Aiden in Bobby’s life, but what if that was the wrong decision? He was his father, and Bobby deserved to know his dad. The biggest issue was I didn’t know if his dad wanted to know him. Aiden could be holding onto residual resentment from when I left him and then finding out I kept a secret kid from his all these years, he might want to wash his hands of us entirely.
I slid down into the bath, submerging my head. Even though it was beyond temporary, a few moments of the peaceful quiet being underwater brings was precisely what I needed. Just a few moments of peace, and then I would figure everything out.
Chapter Twelve - Aiden
I called the private investigator Darren recommended. Everything sounded peachy on the phone. I didn’t go into too much detail on my end, but they gave me a rundown of their agency. I liked what they were offering, so we set up an in-person meeting that was happening at Club Taboo today. I asked Darren to join since he had dealt with them before. He would know more about how to proceed.
“Jesus Christ, Harris,” my friend said as he walked in. “I’ve never seen you act nervous before in my life. Everything’s going to be fine, trust me.”
Darren had been trying to calm me down ever since he got the particulars of my relationship with Reagan. And he had made some excellent points, but my mind always went irrational when it came to my former love. It didn’t matter how much sense he was making, I was going to find some way to twist it into a doomsday scenario.