by Jamie Knight
I will admit now that it honestly scared me shitless, to feel like that. so like a little coward I ran off and hid from them instead of dealing with everything. I have tried so hard these past few days to forget everything. I've thrown myself into my work, never leaving my office.
I can't even eat because everything tastes like dirt. I can't sleep, think or concentrate. Its maddening. It's like my entire life has come to a complete standstill and I can't do anything about it. How could one night have turned into something like this? It's crazy. It just came out of nowhere and hit me like a fucking freight train.
The phone rings pulling me from my reverie. I grab it and answer it. "Yeah?" I try to control my emotions.
"Hey, Dom…." Kevin says. "I was wondering if you have seen these files I need for work? I think I left them in your office, but-" He starts to ask, but I interrupt him by snapping at him.
"No, I haven't seen your damn files. Keep better track of your stuff and maybe this wouldn't happen."
My words shock Kevin into silence for a moment. "What the hell is your problem? I thought you'd be better by now, ditch the giant pole up your ass. Didn't you go home with that brunette chick from the auction?"
I sigh, I can confide in him because he's my friend. "Yes. We had a great night,” I admit, “Amazing. But I did something horrible and now I feel like a dick."
I tell him the whole story about our night together, including how nice Juliette had been and just how much she’d gotten to me. "And then the next morning I ghosted her. Just up and left,” I finish.
Kevin is silent as he processes and tries to understand the whole story. I look out the window again as we talk. "Okay, here's what I think…" he finally says.
I wait with curiosity. "You should go apologize to her." He says bluntly.
His answer is so simple I don't believe it. "Apologize? That's really all you came up with?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yes, just hear me out." He pleads, so I stow my annoyance and listen again
"Okay, she’s a nice girl, that you had a great night with. You're used to the auction thing. She's not. Maybe that's why you feel so bad about this. You have a guilty conscience because this was her first time. You probably thought you should have at least told her goodbye or prepared her for something like this." He explains.
I'm sure in his mind this sounds like a reasonable explanation. I wish this whole situation was as easy as he thought it was. But how can I tell him just how deeply she’s gotten under my skin? Won’t I sound insane if I tell him the truth?
"Maybe you’re right. I'll try it," I reply.
"Okay. Call me and let me know what happens. " he says, then we hang up.
I sit in my office and stare out the window. I don't know if this is going to work, but maybe it's a start. At any rate, it will give me an opportunity to see her again. My stomach does somersaults at that thought. I work hard to calm myself.
I still don't know if it's the right decision but I have to make some sort of an effort. My life will never go back to normal if I don't make some kind of an effort to deal with this. I sigh and check the time, it's almost lunch. An hour until. But I know I'm not going to be able to concentrate on work.
I grab my phone and keys and leave the office. Knowing what I'm about to do, the elevator ride seems longer than usual. I hurry through the lobby and out to my car, looking up the address online to her record store. I punch it into my GPS and start to drive there.
I know I’ve been before, but in my current distracted state, I’m likely to miss a turn and end up in another state or something.
The whole drive there I'm actually nervous and worried. How is she going to react when she sees me? She doesn't seem like the dramatic type, but after the way that I left things, I should be prepared for anything including a scene.
As I get closer to my destination, I start rehearsing things in my head. I want my apology to be perfect. I don't want to upset her any more than I already have. Even now I can't believe I’m acting this way. In the past I never would have cared about leaving a girl from the auction like that before.
But, none of them would have cared, either. Juliette is different. I can't figure out why. I just feel so different around her. It's scary and frustrating because I have never had to deal with anything like this before.
But then suddenly I realize something even more frightening than the prospect that I’ve upset her. What if she doesn’t care at all? What if she just took it in stride and moved on and I’m the only one in knots over this? Am I about to make a huge ass out of myself?
I arrive at the strip mall. I park my car in the lot and just sit there for a few minutes, trying to mentally prepare myself. I don't know if I'll be ready for this, but I have no choice now. After a deep breath, I get out of the car and walk inside.
Chapter 16 - Juliette
I’m feeling better today, and I'm doing my best to forget about everything that happened the other night. It’s another work day. Nothing could keep me away from my shop. I went about my usual routine once I arrived at the shop, and the normalcy helped me keep things off my mind.
After opening up I spent a good portion of the morning rearranging the shop to try and draw in more customers. It hasn't worked yet, but I'm not giving up hope. I have to keep this place going at all costs, and now, there’s hope. I have a list of gimmicks and things at home I can still try, it's just a matter of putting them into action.
I need to call Mr. Stevens and make an offer, too, but the wound is still so raw, I just need a little bit of time to work up the courage. Maybe this afternoon.
After that, I went to the backroom and disinfect and clean the whole area, erasing any trace of my tryst in there with Dom. I also organize my desk. I didn't want to spend more time in there than necessary, after the memories of losing my virginity, so I come back out to the front and put some music on.
Nothing that I liked all that well, but something that the customers might enjoy. I’ve just taken my place behind the register when Dom walks in.
I can't believe my eyes. Why is he here? Why do I feel butterflies in my stomach at the sight of him? My first impulse is to run to him and throw my arms around him. I squash those feelings down by reminding myself of how he left me, that cold, brusque note. I need to be strong. But it is so good to see him again that I can't help but feel a little hopeful at the sight of him.
Instead I remain standing behind the register and greet him with a bright and cheery: "Hello, how can I help you today?" in a robotic parody of a “customer service” tone that I honestly wouldn’t even use on a customer.
There is no warmth or familiarity in my tone, and I see him visibly wince at my greeting. "Ok, I deserved that," he admits aloud.
He walks across the store until he is standing across the register from me. I stare at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "Juliette, I'm not here to argue. I came because I wanted to apologize for running out on you the way that I did. That was…it was a dick move, and I'm sorry."
Once again, I can hear the sincerity in his tone, and there’s a pleading undercurrent to his words. I start to soften a little and uncross my arms. An apology is a good sign, after all. I just want to understand. Maybe it was something I did or said?
I look down at the ground then at him. "Why didn't you just wake me up and tell me you had to leave? I'm an adult, hell, I’m a business owner, if you had to go handle work matters, I would have understood.”
He taps his fingers nervously on the counter before answering. "I didn't want to wake or disturb you. You were sleeping so peacefully." He confesses.
I stare at him in shock, not having expected that answer, and he continues, "In all honesty, you’re the first woman from the auctions that I have ever had stay the night. Hell, the first woman to stay the night with me at all. Ever.”
I’m shocked, but also touched by his confession. I look down at the ground, suddenly feeling shy. "What is it?" He asks.<
br />
I'm embarrassed but I will still share it with him. I feel like I owe it to him, vulnerability in exchange for his.
Timidly, I admit, "This is… actually a relief to hear. This whole time I’ve been worried that maybe I was bad at it or something, since this was my first time having sex."
In shame, I bury my face in my hands, sure that I’m sure color of a tomato. Slowly, I peer out between my fingers and after a second of understanding he laughs. "Trust me, that is definitely not the case. You were incredible," he assures me.
I giggle and blush at his words, but after, there are a few tense moments of silence. We both look at each other and finally share a shy smile. I try to memorize every angle of his handsome face. I still can't believe he is here with me right now. It's almost too good to be true. Especially after everything that’s happened.
He looks so handsome, his eyes filled with kindness as he looks at me. I don't think I’ve ever seen him look at me like that before. I definitely would have remembered a gaze like that. I want to lean over and kiss him so bad. I almost do, but I chicken out and look away from him.
He clears his throat softly. I look back at him. He gives me another smile and to my surprise, he starts to walk away. My heart catches in my chest. I try to think of something to say, or a reason to get him to stay, at least a few minutes longer. "Wait!” I call finally, “Is that… really all you came for?" I ask, trying not to sound disappointed, but I know it’s evident in my voice as well as my gaze.
He turns around and hesitates for a few seconds when he sees the look on my face. After that, I realize how silly I must look. "I'm sorry. Of course that was all," I mumble and drop my gaze to the ground.
"Um, would you like to, maybe have dinner tonight?" He asks, interrupting me.
I look up at him in shock, like I can't believe what he's saying. "Of course! I mean, I'd love to!" I reply happily, stumbling over my words in my excitement.
Dom chuckles a little at my reaction. I grab a pen and paper and write down my address for him. I give the paper to him and he puts it in his pocket. "Great, I'll pick you up around 7?" He asks.
"Sounds perfect," I say with a smile.
"Good. I'll call you when I'm on my way,” He says before backing slowly out of the store.
Happily, I watch him walk away. I stand behind the register with a big smile on my face the whole rest of the day. I can’t believe the way today has turned out. I’m start to feel that maybe there is hope for Dom and me after all.
Chapter 17 - Dominic
After the meeting with Juliette I feel a little better. More like myself. I leave her store and get back in my car. I was gone for quite a while, but I feel like my life can finally go back to normal. Or at least, some kind of new normal.
I actually enjoy the drive back to the office, taking my time a little and choosing more “scenic” roads. It's a nice day out, and I find myself rolling down the window to enjoy the sunshine a little.
I’m a tech guy, not much of an outdoors guy. I don't usually act like this. I can't decide if I like it or not. But I think I do. I shrug, and think about something else.
I'm quickly back at the office and walking inside. I pass someone in the lobby, we both nod to each other on greeting. As I look past them, I see the clock on the wall. I notice the time and frown. I was sure I had something to do right around now, but I can't remember what. I go to the elevator and push the button.
While I wait, I pull out my phone. The elevator doors open and I step inside. I push the button for the top floor where my office is. The doors close and I'm in the elevator alone. It's quiet in the elevator, not even the sound of music. Maybe we should invest in that? I chuckle to myself at the thought.
I look at the calendar on my phone to try and figure out what was so important I needed to do today. At that moment an alert flashes on my screen, "Conference call 1PM”.
I stare at my phone, then at the time, then frantically push the elevator button again, as if that will make it go faster. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't believe I am about to be late for this meeting, or that I even forgot about it in the first place. This is what happens when I let my guard down and do things outside of my comfort zone.
The elevator reaches the top floor. The doors open and I practically run to my office and burst through the door. I slam it behind me and click on the phone, as it’s ringing. "Good morning, Gentlemen, my apologies, I'm here," I say, joining in on the conference call.
I try to sound calm and collected as I sit behind my desk and pull out the papers I will need.
"Good of you to join us, Dominic. Not like you to be late," One of the directors remarks.
I shuffle my papers and try to hide my annoyance at this whole situation. "Yes, I'm sorry about that. I can assure you it won't happen again." I reply to the board of directors.
They quietly cough and clear their throats. I still can't believe that happened. I'm starting to question whether or not it was worth it to go down there? I'm only digging myself into a deeper mess with Juliette, and on top of that I have thrown myself off schedule today. That's really going to mess with my head.
"Okay, down to business…" one of the directors says.
I force myself stop thinking about her. I need to concentrate now. "Business here has been going really well. We are progressing nicely…" I explain to the board of directors.
I present them with different facts and figures, even giving them the good news about our major increase in profits compared to last year.
"That's all good news Dom, but the first thing we need to discuss is the opening of the new branch in Nevada." One of the directors says, interrupting me.
I look through my papers and find the memo and the email I had printed out with all of this information. "Okay. How is that going?" I ask.
"Well, the building is operational already, we even have a team out there. The only thing we are missing is someone to be in charge of everything, who will oversee the entire operation," the director explains.
"Well, who did you have in mind?" I ask, while trying to think of colleagues I could nominate for the job.
"Actually, we want to send you. Your company is thriving right now. Point blank, you're the best in the business. We have no doubt that you can do the same with this branch. What do you think?" They ask.
I honestly have no idea what to think. It's a great honor to be complimented on your work like that. I've been selected for things like this before, I always accept without hesitation, but today I'm shocked by the opportunity.
I'm speechless for a long time. "Dom? We really need an answer." The director reminds me.
"Um, yes. Sorry," I reply, clearing my throat.
I fidget with some of the papers on my desk for a moment before I finally blurt out, "If it's all right with you, I'd like some time to think about this."
There is silence on the other end of the phone. I've shocked them and myself. "Very well. Just try and get back to us as soon as possible, because we can't afford to waste time on this," the director says finally.
We go over some over business matters for about another half an hour before the call ends.
After I hang up the phone I lean back in my chair and stare at the wall, the silence echoing in my ears. "Why did I tell them that? Why do I need time? This is work, this is my career, what the hell is wrong with me?" I ask, talking aloud to myself.
I frown as I try to figure it out. I have no attachments to this city, so it's weird that I wouldn't want to leave it.
A look of horror crosses my face. No, it can’t be. Am I really considering putting down roots here for the first time in my life? I shake my head in disbelief and throw myself back into my work. I really don't want to think about this right now, but I know it's going to gnaw at me all day.
I know the real reason I don’t want to leave. But it’s crazy. Am I really willing to throw away an opportunity like this? It’s not that I need the money. I could
live more than happily for the rest of my life off of what I have in the bank.
And it’s not like I’d really be moving up, either, so much as just moving on…
But do I really want to move on?
Chapter 18 - Juliette
I'm so happy and excited. I'm almost ready. I check the time and realize that Dom will be here any minute. I let out a happy little sigh. I still can't believe he asked me out to dinner.
I really feel like tonight will be different from last time, especially after his apology. I'm wearing my best dress with my hair up. I check my makeup in the mirror, then run around making sure the house is cleaned up, even though I always keep it spotless.
I grab my purse and make sure I have everything I need. I close it and put it on the coffee table. Basically, I’m fidgety and nervous, and I can’t sit still, so I smooth a few wrinkles out of my dress when I hear a knock on the front door. I can't keep the happy smile from my face as I go to open it. I see him standing there, somehow looking even more dashing than I remember. "Hi." I say softly.
"Hi. Ready to go?" He asks in response.
He returns my smile, but it doesn't seem to meet his eyes. "Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come in for a minute?" I ask hopefully.
He hesitates. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I already have reservations for us, we don't want to be late," He replies, sounding a little uncomfortable.
I pretend not to notice, but I can’t help but wonder why he seems so stiff. "Oh, well, I won’t keep us long. It's only for a moment, please?" I ask, opening the door wider for him.
I can still see the hesitation on his face but he nods in agreement and walks inside. I close the door behind him.
Last time we were at his place, I noticed how sleek and modern everything about it was. Smart devices everywhere, and a lot of chrome.
I want him to get a little taste of retro, much like what I’d done before with the records. "A lot of the furniture in here is vintage, also from my grandparents. As you can see I have my own record player and small collection of albums," I explain with a little smile.