Raging Sea, Searing Sky

by Christopher Nicole

  When the siren sounded he abandoned his plate and his mother and sister to rush on deck and watch the lines being dropped, listened to the coo-ees of the whistles, looked up at the bridge where the captain and first officer could occasionally be glimpsed as they emerged on to the wing to look down at the tugs, and felt the immense throb as the huge vessel was slowly pulled away from the dockside.

  ‘It’s the most exciting thing in the world, isn’t it?’ the girl asked.

  Lew goggled at her. She was holding her hat on her head as a breeze had sprung up, and it was also rustling her gown, which was clearly of taffeta or some such entrancingly noisy material. And she was addressing him.

  ‘I do apologise,’ she said, as he did not immediately respond. ‘It’s just that...it’s so exciting, putting to sea. Don’t you think so?’

  He looked past her. Like himself she had discarded her parents. But she was very English; he thought a brisk slap on the back would have a plum popping out of her mouth. Yet so very attractive as well. And she was addressing him! Hurriedly he raised his cap. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Most exciting thing in the world.’

  ‘You’re American,’ she accused.

  ‘Well, I guess I am, Miss...?’

  ‘My name is May Gerrard,’ she informed him.

  ‘I’m Lewis McGann.’

  ‘Have you made the crossing before?’

  Lew hesitated, but decided against lying; he could too easily be caught out. ‘No.’

  ‘I have. When we came over, two years ago,’ May Gerrard confided. ‘Daddy’s been setting up a branch of the business.’ She did not say what the business was. ‘Now we’re going home, because of the War. Daddy feels he must do his bit. But you’re going to England too. Are you going to join up?’

  Lew did some very quick thinking. This girl, who was clearly older than himself, equally clearly assumed he was at least eighteen — no doubt because of his size. There was no way he could improve his position by admitting the truth of that. ‘Why, I guess you’re right,’ he said, adding, with shameless hypocrisy, ‘I figure England’s war is my war.’

  She grasped his hands and squeezed them. ‘Oh, it’s so good to hear you say that. Daddy is convinced all Americans are backing Germany.’

  ‘Oh, no,’ he assured her.

  ‘I knew it. I’m going to tell him. Oh, Mr McGann, you have just made my day. What service are you going for?’

  ‘The Navy,’ he replied without thinking.

  ‘Oh, how exciting. I wish I were a man, and could join up. Perhaps I could be a nurse. Mother isn’t keen. She says it’s very unpleasant. But I have to do something.’ She gazed at him with those huge blue eyes.

  ‘I know just how you feel,’ he agreed, feeling a distinct cad for having deceived her. ‘But still...they would only know each other for four days.

  ‘I must rush,’ May said, ‘or Mother will have the whole ship looking for me. It’s been awfully nice meeting you.’

  Lew raised his cap again. ‘I’ll see you again, I hope, Miss Gerrard.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said, gave him a smile, and was off.

  Lewis realised he had just fallen in love.

  *

  He was desperate to tell someone about it, but didn’t dare. Shirley would laugh and Mom...he wasn’t sure what Mom’s reaction might be. In fact he was suddenly aware of a whole bundle of complications in which he had carelessly enmeshed himself. Four days abruptly seemed a very long time, in the course of which, if Mom and Shirley found out and wanted to meet the girl, they would undoubtedly tell her that he was only fifteen, that he was not going to join up...that he was, in fact, a complete fraud.

  Even worse, May would discover that he was actually sharing a cabin with his two women folk. This had not seemed important before; it was certainly not important to either Mom or Shirley, for the McGanns had always lived on terms of total intimacy. But he had a strong feeling that someone as obviously well brought up as May Gerrard might find it indecent.

  So he didn’t say a word, and was delighted when he awoke next morning to find a considerable breeze had sprung up, and the Lusitania was plunging into a head sea. Plunging was the operative word. The huge bows would climb up the side of the swell, almost entirely exposed, and then fall down into the following trough, all sixty odd feet of topsides going into the green water, which bubbled up to the immense anchors and almost to where the name would have been — but the name had been painted out, as a wartime measure, one of the stewards told him. The motion was unsettling on the stomach, even on his stomach, and was far too much for Shirley and Mom, who elected to remain in their berths. The dining salon was practically empty for breakfast, and after it he discovered himself to be one of a very limited number of passengers on deck. He thought how nice it would be were May to be amongst them, and discovered that she was.

  She was in a deck chair, between her mother and father, unfortunately; all three of them were wrapped up in blankets and coats, and reading novels. But she looked up as he passed and called, ‘Why, Mr McGann. Good morning to you.’

  Lew raised his cap and braced himself against the ship’s plunging. ‘And to you, Miss Gerrard.’

  ‘This is Mr McGann,’ May informed her parents. ‘The young gentleman I told you about. He’s on his way to England to join the Navy.’

  ‘Oh, I say, dashed good show,’ commented Mr Gerrard, who wore a large moustache and looked distinctly prosperous.

  Mrs Gerrard gave a wan smile.

  ‘It’s so boring sitting here,’ May announced, throwing off her blanket and rising in a flutter of skirts and elastic sided boots. ‘May I walk with you, Mr McGann?’

  ‘Here, I say,’ her father protested.

  ‘I knew you wouldn’t mind, Father,’ May said, and tied a scarf round her head. Lew gave the man a nervous smile as she fell into place beside him. ‘They think I’m terribly forward,’ May confided. ‘Do you think I’m terribly forward, Mr McGann?’

  ‘I think you are just tremendous,’ Lew said, again without thinking, and flushed. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.’

  May gave a delicious gurgle of laughter, and tucked her arm through his. ‘Why? I think it was an awfully nice thing to say. Do you think we could go up on the boat deck? I’ll bet there’s nobody there.’

  She was quite right. There were no shutters on the boat deck, nothing except open rail, and now they were something like a hundred feet above the water line, and totally exposed to the wind. The wind was not really very strong — Lew’s practised eye estimated it, from the sea state, to be about twenty knots — but as the ship was equally making about twenty knots, into it, they were actually being buffeted by forty knots, which was the equivalent of a strong gale, and that, combined with the heaving motion of the ship, had them spinning away from the companionway, May’s skirts and coat acting like sails, so that he had to throw both arms round her waist to get her into the lee of one of the funnels, where she leaned against him, laughing and panting, wind tears streaming from her eyes. ‘Oh, that was fun,’ she said. ‘But Mr McGann, how are we ever going to get back?’

  She looked up at him, and he inhaled her scent and looked into those marvellous eyes, and knew the strangest sensation. It was unbelievable, but this girl seemed as fond of him as he of her, and on the briefest of acquaintances. ‘I guess there’s another ladder aft,’ he said.

  ‘Oh,’ she said. ‘You know so much about ships.’

  He had to do something, quickly, because she was still pressed against him, and as she was the first mature young woman he had ever held in his arms she was having a powerful effect — of which she had to be aware, even beneath her coat. ‘I guess we should go back down,’ he said.

  ‘Oh, must we?’ she asked, leaning against him even more, while suddenly one of her feet moved, to scrape her toe up and down his ankle. ‘I do like it here. It’s so exciting, and so lonely, and I’m so glad I’m with you. I do adore American men. They’re so...every English boy I know wants to spend all his
time playing cricket or rowing, and they’re all simply terrified of girls. Are you terrified of girls, Mr McGann?’ She was gazing at him most intently, and her mouth was open. So he kissed it.

  It was entirely a reflex action. Lew had never kissed anyone before, except on the cheek. But he suspected May had, because her tongue drove his lips apart and found its way between his teeth, and her body moved against his, and the sensation of quite exceptional exhilaration grew, until he felt he might burst out of his trousers. He had no idea what was going to happen next, or what should happen next, but he would have stayed there forever had the ship not plunged into a deeper trough than usual to send them staggering out from the funnel again to be buffeted by the wind. This time they fetched up against the rail, between two of the lifeboats, and Lew’s cap blew off. It went sailing over the deck and the stern and disappeared into the great bubbling wake.

  ‘Oh,’ May cried. ‘Your hat.’

  ‘Happens all the time,’ Lew said gallantly.

  ‘Oh,’ she cried again, as there was a gust of wind and her skirts were sent flying. He grappled with her again, and got her back into shelter. ‘Oh, Mr McGann,’ she panted. ‘May I call you Lewis?’

  ‘I’d prefer Lew.’

  ‘Lew! Oh, that’s charming! But I like Lewis better. I’m May,’ she reminded him. ‘Oh, I am so glad we met each other. Listen...I should go back now, but...’ her tongue came out and circled her lips in the most enchanting fashion. ‘Maybe we could see each other this evening. There’s dancing after dinner.’

  ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how to dance.’

  ‘I’ll teach you,’ she promised, and kissed him again.

  He got her down the after ladder, and said goodbye; he wasn’t prepared to face her parents at this moment, and besides, he wanted to be alone, to remember, and savour, everything that had happened. He didn’t dare return to the cabin, so he went to the library instead, and sat in a corner, gazing into space. His entire body was tingling, even his fingers...or perhaps mostly his fingers, because they had touched her, in so many places, as they had whirled in the wind. And then his lips...if the fact that her amazing attraction to him seemed to be more because he was American than because he was Lewis McGann was rather deflating, she had yet been in his arms. And would be again. There was the almost painful thought. And again and again, perhaps. There were nearly four days left.

  He spent the rest of the day in a total euphoria. Mom felt well enough to come up for lunch, although Shirley remained in bed. Their table was some distance removed from the Gerrards’, and there were too many people in between for him to catch May’s eye, but when the English family left the salon first she gave him a smile, of total intimacy, he thought. ‘Isn’t that the girl we saw yesterday?’ Christina asked.

  ‘Yes. She’s a real looker, isn’t she, Mom?’

  ‘Why, yes, I suppose she is,’ Christina agreed, thoughtfully, clearly just beginning to realise just how fast her son was growing up.

  The wind freshened again during the afternoon, and Shirley firmly refused to leave her bunk. Christina and Lew dressed with difficulty. ‘I don’t know why we’re bothering,’ Christina remarked. ‘There won’t be anyone there.’

  In fact the dining room was quite full, and the orchestra was playing, and Lew watched Mr and Mrs Gerrard come in...but no May. The disappointment was almost like a physical pain. ‘I guess your little friend isn’t feeling well,’ Christina observed.

  Lew couldn’t eat. Was she ill? Or had she simply realised that she had let herself go too far that morning? He had to find out, so when he and Mom were finished, he steered her by the Gerrards’ table and paused there. ‘Good evening, Mrs Gerrard,’ he said. ‘Mr Gerrard.’

  They looked up, and did not seem very pleased to see him.

  ‘I would like you to meet my mother,’ Lew said.

  Gerrard hastily stood up. ‘James Gerrard,’ he said stiffly. ‘My wife, Isobel.’

  Christina shook hands. ‘Christina McGann,’ she said. ‘Would you care to join Lewis and I for coffee?’

  ‘Ah, no, thank you very much,’ Gerrard said.

  ‘I hope Miss May is all right,’ Lew ventured.

  ‘No, not very,’ Gerrard said, and sat down again.

  ‘Well, it’s been a pleasure,’ Christina said, and allowed Lew to escort her into the smoking room. ‘Typically English,’ she remarked. ‘They only want to know if you’ve been to the same school. But...’ she shrugged. ‘I guess we’ll have to learn to like it for the next year or two. You in particular.’ She smiled at him, and leaned forward to rumple his hair. ‘Don’t look so woebegone. You’ll be making me think you have a crush on that girl.’

  He shot her a glance which she misunderstood. ‘Easy to do, on shipboard,’ she said. ‘But I guess she’s a couple of years older than you.’ He was so miserable he hardly slept, and next morning was disappointed to discover that the wind and the seas had gone down, and that both Christina and Shirley intended to breakfast. They promenaded afterwards, and soon found the Gerrards, all three of them in their deckchairs. Lew gave them an anxious smile but they did not respond, May actually looking away.

  ‘I think she feels you have been fresh,’ Christina commented. ‘And whatever happened to your cap?’

  ‘It blew away, yesterday,’ Lew told her.

  Shirley burst out laughing, and Christina shook her head. ‘You really need a nurse. Come on, let’s play shuffleboard.’

  The voyage began to take on the aspects of a nightmare. Lew simply could not understand what had happened. To have held a girl, warm and pulsing and stimulating, in his arms, to have kissed her mouth and her tongue, to have had her promise so much more...and then to have her look away from him, all within twenty-four hours, left him totally bewildered. That night she was in the dining salon, but again ignored him, and she danced after the meal too — with one of the ship’s officers. So was she going to be in his arms and kiss him as well? Lew was furious, as Christina could see. ‘You have got it bad,’ she commented. ‘Come on, you can dance with me.’

  She guided him around the floor, and it was some consolation for him to know that he was actually partnering the most beautiful woman in the salon...but she was his mother.

  Christina’s beauty had not gone unnoticed, and the next day, not only did they receive an invitation to dine at the Captain’s table, but they were invited up on the bridge ‘to see how the ship worked’, as the Captain put it. ‘My son is destined for the Navy,’ Christina told him.

  ‘Is he now?’ the Captain said. ‘Well done.’

  ‘The American Navy,’ Christina said.

  ‘Ah. A fine body of men.’

  Despite his misery, Lew could not help but be interested in the bridge and the vast amount of instruments to be studied and above all in navigation, which was still something of a mystery to him.

  ‘Well, I’ll tell you something, Lewis,’ the Captain said, ‘it’s a bit of a mystery to most people. But we have our chronometers to give us our longitude, and our sun sights to give us our latitude...mind you, it’s a little difficult when, like today, there’s no sun.’ For although the wind had dropped and the sea was calm, it was totally overcast.

  ‘Do you mean you don’t know where we are?’ Christina asked.

  The Captain smiled. ‘Not to the nearest inch, no, Mrs McGann. And of course, you may have noticed that we are altering course every half an hour.’

  ‘Zig-zagging,’ Lew said knowingly. ‘Father has told me about that. It’s to make it difficult for submarines to track you.’

  ‘That’s quite right,’ the Captain said.

  ‘You mean there are submarines around?’ Shirley squeaked in alarm.

  ‘I very much doubt it. But we are technically in the war zone, and those are Admiralty instructions. Even we have to obey them. But it won’t be for long. Tomorrow we’ll sight Ireland, take an exact fix of our position on the Old Head of Kinsale, and be in Liverpool to disembark the morning after. I’m sor
ry the voyage is taking a little longer than usual, but we’re conserving fuel.’ He gave one of his quick smiles. ‘There’s a war on.’

  ‘Oh, I wish it could take forever,’ Shirley said, having quite recovered from her seasickness. ‘But for getting back with Father, of course.’

  *

  Dining at the Captain’s table was great fun, especially as the Gerrards had not been invited to do that, and were now unlikely to be, as tomorrow would be the last night of the voyage. While they found themselves in the company of people like Mr Frohmann, the impressario, Mr Hubbard the writer, who was accompanied by his wife, and above all, Mr Alfred Vanderbilt, the millionaire racehorse owner, so elegant and charming, especially to Christina. Lew’s spirits almost began to lift, until he watched May, stunning in a pale blue gown, again waltzing with the young officer. Then he felt miserable again, and soon left the salon and wandered on to the deck, where he could look up at the now clearing skies and down at the phosphorescence racing away from the ship’s side. It had been a stupid dream, for a few brief hours. There were many more important things for Lewis McGann to think about than a yellow-haired, blue-eyed girl. There was the sea, and ships, and a bridge deck like the one above him — one day, if he rose to command a battleship, he would be lord of a bridge deck like that. Oh, boy, he thought, oh...

  ‘There you are,’ said May Gerrard, softly.

  He half turned, and she was nestling against him; she wore no coat over her gown and his arm instinctively went round her waist.

  ‘I’ve only got ten minutes,’ she explained. ‘Mummy and Daddy think I’ve gone down to the Powder Room. But I saw you come on deck...and I just had to see you again.’