by D. E. Morris
“We cannot linger,” he told her eventually, his voice thick with unspoken emotion. “The hunters will return soon and likely with more force behind them.” He removed his hand from Ashlynn's shoulder and turned her face to him so he could examine the cuts across her skin. “You need medical attention as well.”
“I'm fine.” She pulled her chin away and struggled to her feet. “I want them to come back, anyway. It will make it easier to round each and every one of them up so I can throw them in the dankest cell Altaine has.”
Killian's jaw was set with determination. “Your Majesty, I swear on my life that I will have just that done, but if any of those people returns and finds you here instead of the Gael they know they caught, they will realize their high queen is no longer an Elemental. I know that is the last thing you want happening right now.” He nodded to his horse grazing a few hundred feet away as though it was just any other day. “Please. Let me take you back to the castle.”
She eyed him, her head tilting to the side. “Why are you even here? How did you know where to find me?”
“I am a tracker. Do you not remember?” She remembered all too well, in fact. As they walked over to the horse, she recalled the night she almost slit his throat, thinking he was some bandit out to kill her in the woods in Caedia late one night, when all he had really been doing was keeping her safe. It was all he'd ever done. “As for why I am here,” he told her when they were mounted, “it is because you needed me to be here.” Ashlynn wound her arms around Killian's waist as the horse was turned around and looked over his shoulder in question. He glanced back at her, a look she could only identify as regret in his eyes. “I went to the king as you asked. He told me nothing, only that you were upset and that he knew you would fly, which is too dangerous right now. Given that I was charged long ago with keeping you safe over anyone else, I found you. That is all.”
He didn't allow her a chance to respond. The horse was given a command and sent bolting into the woods. Ashlynn held tightly to Killian, her head against his shoulder, but her thoughts were with her husband. Even as confused and hurt as he surely was, his first thought was for her. She knew they needed to talk about a great deal of things, to sort it out and to get through it, she just wasn't sure how or when she would be ready. For now, there were other things to deal with. Denial wasn't the best way to cope, perhaps, but it would work for her for the time being.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was impossible to enter the castle gates quietly, especially given the urgency with which the situation needed to be handled. Killian barely had his horse reined in before he was calling out soldiers by name, ordering them to get their gear on and be ready to go in less than five minutes. He helped Ashlynn down and as soon as her feet were on the ground, she began giving out orders of her own. Before she could reach the doors to go inside, Vala and Kenayde were there, fussing over her and asking questions she didn't have time to answer. Jaryn seemed to come out of nowhere once she was inside, his eyes widening upon seeing her covered in scratches and blood.
“I'm fine,” she promised, suddenly tolerant of Kenayde and Vala's ministrations. She knew it was ridiculous to not want her own husband to touch her, but the thought of his hands on her at that moment made her uncomfortable. As if sensing as much, he took a step back and peered outside to watch Killian riding off with a company of men.
“What in blazes is happening?”
“There was a hunting party out beyond the village,” Ashlynn told them, letting her sister sweep her hair from her face to get a better look at the damage. “Can we find a room, please? Everyone is staring.” None of them spoke another word until all four of them were shut into a solar together, and Kenayde had a small bowl of warm water and a clean cloth by which to clean Ashlynn's face and hands.
“The nets did this?” Vala asked, thoroughly confused.
“They aren't normal nets. They're made of woven metal and have these fine razors and slim hooks in them that are made to catch in between scales. They're horrid.” She winced and hissed as Kenayde addressed a particularly tender scratch on her face. “Where is Tasarin?”
Kenayde righted herself and scowled. “I just created an antidote for a castle full of poisoned people, Ashlynn. I think I can clean a few dozen surface cuts.”
The older sister grimaced. “Sorry, Nadie, it isn't that. I know he can heal them. I'd rather not be covered in marks when the hunters are brought in, lest they figure out it was me they caught.”
“Good point. Vala and I will go find him.”
The thought of both of them leaving made her anxious and Ashlynn looked from one to the other. “You don't both have to go.”
Kenayde gave her sister an odd look. “No, but I thought to send Vala to fetch Tasarin while I do damage control. Too many people saw you ride in looking like this. You need a cover story or a big enough distraction so that people will forget it even happened.” She took a breath. “So I thought now would be a good time to start telling people that Elas and I are going to adopt Allorah.”
Ashlynn blinked her surprise. “Adopt...who?”
“Allorah,” Jaryn repeated, sounding just as tired as he had earlier. “The little girl who is now an orphan. That is her real name, according to the registry. The deed information and family line came back this morning; she has no other living kin, at least none that want to claim her.”
“Oh! Kenayde, that's...wow.”
Kenayde scrutinized her sister's expression as she moved toward the door. “I cannot tell if that is disapproval I see or the product of three days of terrible situations happening one right after another.” She waved her hand for Vala to follow her, disappearing before Ashlynn could answer and closing the door behind her.
Alone with her husband, Ashlynn turned to look at him with elevated brows and a shrug. He only shook his head. “I don't know,” he answered. “Frankly, I don't care right now. Let them do whatever they want. I have more important things on my mind.” He fixed her with an angry glare. “You could have been killed out there.”
“I don't need a lecture right now.” She rose from her chair and faced him with detached resolve. “I made a decision on the ride back to the castle. We can't wait any longer. The purge has to happen and I can't see any reason why it can't be done as quickly as tonight.”
“What?” His mouth fell open as he searched for words. “What are you talking about?”
“I understand now more than ever that Lochlainn's safety is at risk. The danger he is in simply by being a Gael grows every single day. If we want to give him any kind of surety in the world as it is, as it's becoming, we have to do this.”
Jaryn ran a hand through his hair. “Cavalon only went home yesterday. He brought Lochlainn to Braemar where he is safe, probably safer than he is here. You can't ask him to turn around and come back here after what he just went through. And think of what you're asking of Nuala in all of this.” He extended a hand to the window as though he could illustrate his point. “Badru is gone and won't likely return for a few days, and your father rode out with dozens of soldiers at our behest to try to stop the very thing you just went through. You need to think this through.”
“I need to protect my son!” As quickly as her anger and defenses rose, she deflated before him. “Jaryn, how do I even know this is you arguing with me right now? How can I trust this moment?” He looked down as though the question hurt him on a personal level. “How can you trust this is me?”
“What was the name of the ballad I wrote for you the night after you finally let me kiss you for the first time and then left me standing all alone?”
She looked down, a quiet laugh on her lips. “'Please Return.'”
“Aye. Only you would know that because you're the only one who has heard it, and only I would ask you that because I'm the only other person who knows it even exists.” He took a hesitant step forward. “Ashlynn, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel or what to think. I don't know how to fix this or
how to fix us, but I can't let you do this purge with things the way they are between us.”
“It has to be done, Jaryn. I heard everything you said, I really did, but Cavalon will have to bring Lochlainn back.” She turned her back to Jaryn and paced away, linking her fingers together before her. “As for Badru, maybe I can somehow get Rowan to shift in a way that conveys urgency and it will get him back here quicker.”
“And potentially put those he'll be leaving behind in Cieria in a precarious situation,” Jaryn argued. He watched her fingers moving and crossed the room when she started pushing back the cuticles around her nails. As soon as he touched her hands, she stopped and looked up at him, and he pulled away.
“It was awful,” she quavered. “The hunters had no thought or care to the life they were taking. It was all so careful and calculated on their part. They have different tactics for Gaels and dragons, making sure both are torturous and painful, and...” She covered her mouth with her hands. “If Killian hadn't come-”
“But he did.”
“Because of you.” She lowered her arms and moved closer to him, making herself do it despite everything in her telling her not to. “Even with everything else going on, you were still thinking of me.”
He reached up, slow in case she flinched away, and pulled her into a loose embrace. “I never stop.”
Ashlynn let him hold her for a few breaths but couldn't take it for long as thoughts and images assaulted her mind. She stepped back with an apologetic shake of her head. “I need time.”
A knock on the door made her take another step back. Tasarin was announced before he was shown in, and Jaryn excused himself, leaving the pair alone. “Ashlynn,” the elf breathed, concern on his face as he crossed the room, but she held up a hand to stop him before he got too close.
“When I first came to Siness as a teenager after hearing you were about to turn it over to Tadhg, what did I call you?”
He stared at her in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Do you remember? I was livid. I said that you had no right because you were a regent, that this was my father's kingdom, not yours, and I called you a very specific name. What was it?”
Tasarin's lips pursed. “You called me a pointy-eared mouth flap.”
“Good.” She nodded, satisfied. “I'll explain later. Can you get rid of all of these cuts?”
“Of course. Here, sit. What happened?” She sat back down as instructed and told him what happened when she'd gone out for her flight. A warmth flooded her body as his hands hovered over her, his elvish magic binding the scrapes on her face and hands and healing the skin, leaving it looking as though she'd never been wounded at all. When he was finished, he sat back into a chair across from her and listened without interrupting. Only when it was clear her tale was over did his serious expression change to one of unhappiness. “This is getting out of hand.”
“It is,” she agreed, “which is why I wanted you to come.”
“Because you wanted to discuss the purge.”
“Initially,” she hedged, “but now I am ready to simply do it, preferably tonight.”
Tasarin's shock was evident in the brief elevation of his brows, but the way he followed with a frown told her he must have been expecting the expediency on some level. “I have been doing quite a lot of thinking about it since we were last together and have discussed some ideas with Misuzu. I believe, and she agrees, that it should be done on the Isle of Contest. Since that is where most of your powers were taken from you, I think it would be wise to do the purge there. I was told that Lochlainn is already in Braemar as it is, so Nuala and Cavalon can stay with him while Misuzu, Suule and I are with you, as well as anyone else you want there.”
“The fewer, the better,” Ashlynn admitted, looking her hands over. “I'm going to try to convince Jaryn to stay with Lochlainn, too. I think the more people that are around him, the easier it will be for him.”
Tasarin sent a subtle glance toward the closed door. “Forgive me for asking but did something happen between you and Jaryn? There was a palpable tension in the room when I walked in and I do not wish to contribute to it by overstepping my bounds in this situation.”
She rubbed her temples and groaned. “Yes, something has happened and I need to tell someone before I explode. There is someone else that should be a part of this conversation as well, though.” All she had to do was ask one of the guards to have Elas summoned and it was done.
When he arrived, Ashlynn waited until the door was closed before facing him with narrowed eyes. “In the tunnels under the monastery when we first met, what did you tell me I smelled like?” Elas made a face and looked to Tasarin for clarification, but the elf was no help. “You were really sassy back then,” Ashlynn reminded.
“I think I said you smelled like smoke and ash.”
“Thank you. Have a seat.”
Still confused, the blue-haired man sat next to Tasarin and watched Ashlynn take her seat as well. “What's going on?”
“We're going to have to figure out an easier way to check each other,” she muttered to herself, “that's what.”
Tasarin watched her with question. “Ashlynn, why did you feel the need to test us?”
She looked up to the ceiling and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly and deliberately. “Elas, the other night, did you and Jaryn have a conversation with me in a sitting room? Did I ask you about Oceana?”
“Yes, you did.”
“No, I did not.”
“What?”
Swallowing, she lowered her face so her eyes met those of her friends staring back at her. It was a hard story to tell, but it was one she needed to get out. She told them everything just as Jaryn had told it to her. This time she didn't tear up, only felt a growing sense of rage building deep within her. Even though she had no fault in the whole situation, there was a heavy sense of guilt she couldn't shake. A voice somewhere inside kept telling her that if she hadn't gone to stay with the boys, if she'd only told Jaryn herself that they needed her that night and that she wouldn't be coming to bed, all of this would have been different.
“I don't even know what to say,” Elas murmured. “Ashlynn, I'm so sorry.”
She lifted her hand, averting her eyes. “Please don't apologize. You couldn't have known, especially if he didn't.”
“What does this mean?” Tasarin asked. “Is there another shape shifter in the castle?”
“It's the only logical explanation,” she conceded. “That, or one of the Chrynir, though so far they've only taken on the form of people who are dead. Thus the test questions and the need to figure out another way to tell if we are who we say we are with some kind of nonverbal cue.” She looked down, playing with her nails. “I know this wasn't Jaryn's fault and that I shouldn't hold it against him, but I am having such a hard time with this.”
“It would be impossible not to,” Tasarin sympathized.
“Please don't tell anyone about this, even about the impostor. We need to keep it as contained as possible until we know how to identify each other. For Jaryn's sake, don't even let him know you know unless he brings it up to you. I want him to deal with this however he needs to.”
“In that case,” said the elf, getting to his feet, “I would like to get a head start with Suule.”
“Are you leaving already?” asked Elas.
“I'll explain,” Ashlynn promised. “For now, when we see each other, just touch the corner of your eye.” She kissed Tasarin's cheek. “Thank you, my friend. I'll see you soon.” He nodded and offered her a smile of encouragement, then left the room. Pasting on a smile of her own, she turned to Elas. “We are going through with the purge tonight.”
His eyes grew so wide that they looked like they might fall out of his head. “What?”
“Lochlainn is vulnerable. I'm already vulnerable, so why not get it over with and make him safer before things get worse?”
“I mean...” Elas scratched his head. “The logic is there, I just hate that it's happeni
ng at all.”
“So do I. Believe me, so do I, but it is. I need you and Kenayde to hold down the fort tonight. Can you do that?”
“Of course. Whatever you need for as long as you need it.” She was playing with her fingers again and only stopped when she felt Elas watching her. “I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, Ashlynn.”
How was she feeling? She'd run the gamut of emotions in the last couple of hours, some of them being felt several times over and at different levels of intensity. Right now, she was coming to another calm before another storm, and everything was leaving her in waves, making her feel almost nothing at all. “Honestly, I feel sort of numb right now.” She ran the pads of her fingers over the silky brocade pattern of her chair in an absent manner. “I feel exhausted and numb.”
Elas nodded in understanding. “I imagine that's a bit of self-preservation going on. I was numb quite a lot when I lived in the tunnels. It was either that or depression, and depression led to some pretty dark things. Sometimes the numbness is okay, safe. Just don't let yourself stay there for too long.” He watched the way her hands moved for a moment before returning to her face. “You know how much Jaryn loves you and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, not like this.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I'm just having a really hard time wrapping my head around this. The idea of him being with another woman, even one he thought was me makes me...” Her nails dug into the chair.
“You don't have to be okay with it,” Elas told her, “and neither do you have to accept that it happened right now. You have every right to be angry and upset. The sanctity of your marriage has been broken. But it wasn't broken by Jaryn, it was broken by someone who is looking to hurt you.”
“Merrik,” she growled.