by D. E. Morris
“I'm going to make sure she's okay, Lochlainn,” Misuzu assured. “Tasarin and I will keep your mother safe just like everyone here is going to keep you safe. It will all be over soon and before you know it, you two will be back together again, resting, getting stronger, but you have to trust us.”
Nuala gave Lucien a small nudge forward and sent him across the room as well. As he approached, he kept his eyes on Lochlainn, but everyone within the tight knot of bodies felt a small sense of calm wash over them. Ashlynn released her son enough to run a hand over Lucien's head, a sad smile on her lips. Her own son had inherited her inability to handle anxiety; Lucien had clearly inherited his birth father's gift of calming people's nerves. It was no small wonder the two of them were such good friends.
“I'm going to go now,” she whispered. When she saw Lochlainn beginning to tense up again, she squeezed his hand. “The sooner I go, the quicker I can return, right?”
He nodded with slow reluctance. “Right.” Pushing everyone else away, he surged forward the few inches that separated him from his mother and wrapped his arms around her neck. “I love you.”
“I love you too, my brave boy.” She kissed his head, then pulled him away enough to kiss his cheek. “I'll be back before you know it.”
“Okay.”
As Ashlynn and Misuzu rose, Jaryn did as well. Nuala and Rowan moved in without word or instruction to take the spots that had been vacated, surrounding the boys with love and support. “Thank you, ladies.” Ashlynn looked across the room to where Cavalon stood, his back against the wall and his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was no longer a sour one, but one of regret, as though it had all come to this through some fault of his own. She knew there was a large part of him that felt that if he had saved her from the effects of the false Jessiah's poisons earlier, if he'd pulled her back from the brink of death just a few seconds faster than he had that night, maybe none of this would be happening, but there were only so many times she could try to convince him otherwise. “Cavalon, I...” She took a slow breath and summoned a smile, knowing what she wanted to say would only make him feel worse. “I will see you in a little while.”
One side of his lips lifted in a lopsided grin. “Yeah. I'll see you in a little while.”
Misuzu touched her elbow. “I'll be waiting outside.”
In a room full of people, the others did their best to keep their attention everywhere but on the couple by the door to give them some semblance of privacy. Jaryn swept a gentle hand over his wife's cheek before pulling her to him and holding her as close as he could. For a moment there was nothing to say and they simply stayed together, taking the time for what it was worth. All too soon, Ashlynn pulled away, knowing she had to go while her resolve was still strong.
“Promise me that I will see you again,” Jaryn whispered before he let go of her completely.
“You know that you will,” she returned, her quiet voice more certain than she felt. She kissed his lips, then left the room. Her hand trailed down Jaryn's arm as she departed, keeping contact with him until the very last second. She glanced back as their fingertips separated. Then, she was gone.
Misuzu greeted her with a smile of encouragement and took both of her hands in her own. “Are you sure you don't want to fly over?”
“Nuala said the beaches are much too thin for either of us to land on, and fyre doesn't hurt me, I just can't summon it anymore.” She gave a decisive nod. “This will be the last time I get to do this.”
“And you're certain you don't want Cavalon there instead of me. He saved you last time. He knows better what to do if-”
“Misuzu, you are my opposite. I trust you and I want you there.”
The younger woman took in a deep breath. “All right. Then here we go.” There was no further preamble; blue and gold flames sprang up from the walkway under Misuzu's feet, enveloping her before rapidly washing over Ashlynn as well. In an instant, the flames were gone and so were the two women, leaving behind a charred layer of wood and a tendril of smoke where they had just been standing. In a matter of seconds, the fyre came to life again on a thin strip of pale sand on an island far enough off the western coast of Braemar that all the lights from the lanterns looked like tiny fireflies caught in jars. Ashlynn peered down at her hands, her heart racing as her fingers curled into fists.
“I haven't felt that rush of power in such a long time.” Hopeful, wondering if maybe all she needed was a little help, she opened her palm and willed her magic to come forth, for fyre to come to life in her grasp. She didn't need to see a blaze or even a ball of flames, all it would take was a tiny spark to give her some sort of hope to hold onto, but even that was denied her. The familiar tingling in her extremities, the heat that surged through her veins and the adrenaline that made her feel powerful each time she'd used her abilities before was well and truly gone. It was foolish of her to get her hopes up one last time.
“Can I have a minute?”
The request was met with a nod of understanding, and Misuzu pointed into the woods not even twenty feet behind them. “Just walk straight back and you'll get to the arena. We'll be waiting for you when you're ready.”
As Misuzu melted into the darkness of the forest, Ashlynn turned on the beach to peer across the ocean at the mainland. The waters between them were calm, waves coming up to the shore in small, gentle rolls, one after the other. She wondered if it had been Rowan to have lost her connection to her Element, if the sea would have been any different. The garden at Altaine, the secret one that only her family knew about that grew in the middle of the castle, had suffered and wilted ever since she'd lost her ability to shift into her Elemental form and do all of the things she used to be able to do. Would it thrive once Lochlainn was in possession of the Earth powers? Had anything else in the world changed because of her severed connection, or was she putting too much importance on herself?
The trees behind her rustled, making her turn. Pastel colors reflected in the moonlight as Suule stepped onto the beach, his opalescent hooves and horn practically glowing as he walked toward her. Ashlynn said nothing as the stocky unicorn approached, only waited until he was close enough before lifting a hand to scratch his forehead right below his horn. “Have you come to be my escort?” Suule snorted and shook his mane, causing Ashlynn to smirk. “Sorry, old friend, but I don't feel like speaking elvish tonight.” She ran a hand down his muscular neck, the dark hair where his unique Celtique knot formed feeling wiry compared to the rest of his body and tickling her palm. “I'm glad you're here, Suule.” In reply, he lifted his head enough to drape his muzzle over her shoulder as though to embrace her. Ashlynn snaked her arms around his neck, remembering the first time she'd met him as a little girl. It was one of the very few memories that were still clear in her mind from when she was young. He had been so much bigger to her then, but still gentle and just as sweet.
“Let's go,” she said at length. Side by side, they walked together into the woods. Suule led her toward a path that was well worn and wide enough for them to traverse shoulder to shoulder. This allowed Ashlynn to keep her hand on Suule's withers; feeling his muscles move under her touch gave her something to focus on other than where her steps were taking her. If it was at all possible, the trees on the island were thicker than they were on the mainland, growing closer together as though knowing their purpose was to keep the eyes of sea-travelers from seeing what they kept hidden inside. When the forest finally fell away to reveal a wide-open pit surrounded by stadium seating and a high royalty box, Ashlynn gave a quiet gasp, taken aback by how quickly they had come upon it. The last time she had been here, she had been only half conscious and not nearly as aware of her surroundings as she was now. Still, just being here, seeing the fire from the tall torches surrounding the pit flicker in the night breezes brought back a rush of memories she had wanted to forget.
She pulled her hand away from Suule, her trembling fingers locking onto one another as she scanned the area. A bed of straw and
blankets had been prepared for her atop a stone table and she could see Tasarin and Misuzu waiting below, both of them in conversation. Her vision swam before her and they disappeared, replaced with her memories of being tied to a chair below the pit, sitting in the cold darkness. She was terrified as Jessiah's disembodied voice moved around her. He explained what he was doing as though deriving some sick pleasure from the fear he was causing as he replaced the blood in her veins with an elixir that both burned and froze her at the same time.
She couldn't move. Every inch of her body was on fire and she couldn't even scream. She just wanted to die. Why hadn't they let her die?
“Ashlynn?”
She gasped and jerked back, stumbling. Had Tasarin not held her firmly by the forearms, she likely would have fallen. Where had he come from? How had he gotten to her so quickly when he was down far below only seconds ago? He released her arms and took her by the wrists, holding her hands apart. Confused, Ashlynn scowled down at where he gripped her. Small streaks of blood had begun to run where she'd pushed and torn at her cuticles. “You are safe,” Tasarin told her, his voice gentle and even. Glancing over his shoulder to where Misuzu stood just a few steps down, he said, “Would you please bring me a few linen strips?” She hurried back down and the elf returned his attention to Ashlynn. “Hold your hands steady like this now, all right?” She nodded, doing exactly as asked when he let go of her. From a pouch at his belt, he pulled forth a small glass vial of green liquid. “I want you to drink this.”
“What is it?”
“It is simply to help calm you, nothing more.”
She nodded, heat rushing to her face. With her hands still elevated, she let Tasarin lift the vial to her lips and tilted her head back to take the elixir into her mouth. It tasted vaguely of grapefruit and was warm as she swallowed it. “I don't know what happened,” she admitted, her voice thick from the concoction. Clearing her throat, she continued, “One second I was okay and the next...”
“You were remembering.” Tasarin nodded, glancing at Suule. “I know. I felt it as soon as he did and rushed up here as quickly as I could.” Misuzu was running back up the steps with the linen strips. These Tasarin took and began wrapping Ashlynn's hands. “I do not want to heal this quite yet.” His usually smooth complexion was blemished by wrinkles of worry as he looked her over. “Would that this could be done elsewhere.”
“I'm okay,” she told him sheepishly. “I feel like I want to throw up a little, but I'm okay.”
“Because of the potion?”
“Because I'm embarrassed.” She held up her hands, looking like she was wearing the top half of a pair of mittens. “I didn't even mean to.”
Misuzu shook her head. “I can't imagine what it must be like for you to come back here. Don't feel bad about anything you might feel. Tasarin told me about that stuff he made for you. You should be feeling pretty good soon.”
“I do feel a bit better,” Ashlynn admitted with a blithe tilt of her head.
Tasarin's answering smile was thin. “Good, then let us make our way down. Suule, hebin tirith.” The unicorn snorted and turned away, moving back into the woods to carry out the orders of patrol given to him. With Tasarin on one side of her and Misuzu leading the way, Ashlynn finally took her first steps toward the place where she would be separated from what was left of her Elemental ties once and for all.
Drawing closer, she could see that there was a small table beside her makeshift bed all ready with similar vials to the one Tasarin had given her. The liquids within these were different colors, all of them fairly thin and transparent but one which was more viscous and pearl-like in sheen. Several reed needles lay beside the vials and a small bowl of clear liquid kept the stem tubing from drying out before it could be used for the transfusion.
“You are certainly prepared,” Ashlynn said with a nervous laugh.
The elf glanced at his supplies as he helped Ashlynn shed the outer layers of her dress down to her chemise. “Would you like me to talk you through each of the elements?”
“No, thank you.” Lowering herself onto the bed, she admitted, “I just want to get this over with so I can get back to my family.”
There was nothing left to do but for the obvious. Misuzu positioned herself on the other side of Ashlynn and rubbed her arm in a manner that was meant to comfort them both. She tried to hide the knife in her hand, even though all of them knew why they were there. “I'm ready,” Ashlynn said. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and turned her wrists up. When nothing happened, she opened one eye and peeked at her friends to see what the hold up was. She found Tasarin looking down at her, pained. “You can do this,” she coaxed. “I trust you, Tasarin.”
“I have a confession I must make.”
Misuzu made a face. “Now?”
“I could not save your mother the day she gave birth to Kenayde. I tried to strengthen her enough to be able to shift, hoping she might be able to heal herself but I failed her, and in that I failed the both of you.” His thin brows were low over his pale eyes, anguish contorting his usually serene features. “I could not save her, Ashlynn. What if I cannot save you?”
In all the years she had known Tasarin, she had never seen him doubt himself, at least not to this extent. It was as though he was in physical pain and it hurt her heart to see. She knew how much Tasarin had loved her family over the years and he had done it well. It had never been discussed that he had been the one to try to save Siobhán when her small body couldn't handle the stress of birthing a second child, but somehow she'd always known in the back of her mind that it had been Tasarin who had tried to save her. She'd never blamed him for the loss of her birth mother or harbored any anger toward him over his inability to keep her alive. If anything, knowing his deep loyalty to the Stuart family, she always believed there was a guilt that he carried with him over that day that she didn't know how to absolve him of.
“I trust you, Tasarin,” she repeated, laying her bandaged hand on his. “I am not saying that to make you feel better or because I have no other options open to me. You are my lifelong friend. You have been a father when I needed one, a brother, and someone I have always been able to confide in. I trust you. With my life. Now it's time to trust yourself.”
He locked eyes with her, questioning, a moment longer until he found resolve within himself and nodded. Without another word, he handed a cloth to Misuzu that had some sort of thin gel on its surface. “You will feel no pain,” he promised quietly. Together, Tasarin and Misuzu each wiped the cool gel up the insides of her wrists and arms. A numbing sensation took over as Ashlynn closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. She could hear the other two moving and could feel the breeze of their wake against the upper parts of her arms and shoulders, but she never knew when the bloodletting process began. Her eyes stayed closed as she made herself think of lighter times with her family, recalling specific memories when laughter had been abundant and there had been no shadows of fear or danger looming over them.
It was hard to tell how long she'd been laying there before the first chills of cold began wafting over her. How strange to feel her skin prickling as though in winter despite knowing they were still in the height of the summer heat. Muffled voices sounded around her from far away and she felt the scratch of a wool blanket being draped over her torso. How far had she drifted that Tasarin and Misuzu sounded as though they spoke from the inside of a deep well? An odd panic fluttered through her stomach and her slow breathing sped. Without thinking about it or meaning to, every last ounce of fleeting energy went into opening her eyes.
“Ashlynn, lay still.” Misuzu hovered over her, expression pinched and blurry, her voice full of worry. “Is she supposed to wake up? What do we do?”
She felt pressure on her arms as Misuzu held her down on one side and Tasarin on the other. Was she struggling? She couldn't tell. Her head turned to the side. As Misuzu moved out of her line of sight. Ashlynn's blurred vision cleared for a moment, letting her catch sight of ano
ther familiar face. Brigid stood at the edge of the arena, her hands clasped together under her chin as though she was deep in prayer, yet somehow Ashlynn knew her eyes were open and she was focused on the sight before her. Her presence brought a peace that was inexplicable, as it always did. She smiled at Brigid before her lids drooped shut once more and everything went black.
~*~*~*~
“I wonder if she changed her mind.”
Lucien's comment was innocent enough, but it was something the others had begun to question themselves. They'd been waiting for nearly half an hour and were beginning to worry that something had gone wrong. It was possible that they had waited too long to do the transfer after all, and that the Earth Element was well and truly lost. Or perhaps, as Lucien suggested, Ashlynn had changed her mind. Cavalon was only going to give it a little while longer before he went over to the island for himself to see what was going on.
Lochlainn sat on the floor with his father and the others while Cavalon paced the room. The boy had started out in Jaryn's lap, sitting against him as though about to be read to, all of them expecting something to happen right away. Lucien and Rowan sat close on either side, Cavalon and Nuala nearby as well. When the delay stretched on, everyone spread out and lazed in more of a broken circle around the floor of the room.
“Are you still scared?” Lucien asked Lochlainn, both of them sitting right beside Jaryn.
The younger boy shook his head. “Not anymore. I think I'm more bored.”
“I wonder what you'll look like,” mused his friend. “Maybe you'll be bigger or a different color.”
“I'm excited to use fyre.”
“And all your Elemental powers!”
Jaryn chuckled. “Let's not get too carried away, yet, lads. There's still a lot-” Before he could finish his sentence, Lochlainn's body sagged like a puppet whose strings had been cut. His eyes rolled back in his head. Just as Jaryn pulled him back into his lap, his body began shaking so violently, Jaryn had to fold himself over his son to keep him from injuring himself or anyone else. Rowan gripped Lochlainn's hand while Lucien and Cavalon kept his feet still, the boy's eyes wide in terror.